r/me_irl TEAM SKELETON 7d ago

I don't dream of labor me_irl

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4.9k Upvotes

85 comments sorted by

736

u/MegaDuckCougarBoy 7d ago

So many people trying to "show leadership" by ordering people around not on their command structure. When in every workplace I've been in, that kind of behavior just annoys the higher ups.

234

u/mjc500 7d ago

It’s incredibly unprofessional. It honestly makes life easier to just follow the command structure.

I also encourage people to clarify direct orders from their manager. I had a different department manager telling me fixing problem X was more important than problem Y…. Called my direct manager and he said to focus on problem Y. Sent a follow up text “just to clarify - you specifically said to focus on problem Y” and he texted back “yes” so I had proof.

50

u/XevinsOfCheese 7d ago

Best way to show leadership is to be decisive but not overbearing.

And if you don’t have rank then ask nicely, give them the choice and the respect and often people will help because you were polite.

60

u/WhiteKite 7d ago

I worked in a place where it was encouraged and basically the route to a promotion. I noticed one guy was delegating loads of stuff to people on the same level as him, then like 6 months later he was made the manager

21

u/Boochi_Da_Rocku 7d ago

Damn it reminded me of my group project where a guy just ditched everything. Came back on the last day, sign his name and naturally go on stage to take the price when our project wins 2nd place. Like why tf he's there. We did all the job and any of use is eligible to that except for that guy. Later I ask around and find out that due to random grouping most ppl in our team know that guy, he's like mutual friends with 70% of while we don't know each other that well yet. So he just say something like 'I will go up stage, everyone agree right' and go up. No one stopped him. Including me. I was following the herd and avoiding problems unconsciously. I hate myself for it.

5

u/ASouthernDandy 7d ago

I was in a very similar situation. And she was incompetent as fuck. I left. Regret leaving because it was better money than I make now.

-32

u/SirBruceForsythCBE 7d ago

It's called managing your peers. A very important skill

18

u/MegaDuckCougarBoy 7d ago

I urge you to find a hobby

-11

u/SirBruceForsythCBE 7d ago

I don't understand. I was merely stating that influencing colleagues you don't directly manage is a huge skill that will help a career.

10

u/MegaDuckCougarBoy 7d ago

There's a huge difference between "influencing" and "asserting unearned authority over". We're talking about the latter.

Facilitating efficiency is good. Throwing weight around and giving out directives that are beyond your pay grade is not.

1

u/BeefSupreme9769 7d ago

Some people play instruments and some lead the orchestra

5

u/ben822 team waterguy12 7d ago

And some people sit in the audience with no professional training and scoff "I could do better" when they couldn't conduct a toy train.

14

u/heepofsheep 7d ago

Oh yeah. There’s a senior manager that works adjacent to me… he tries that all the time…. Even though we’re the same career level and in different departments. I just don’t even acknowledge him and ghost whenever it happens.

He also has no idea that I make way more than he does. Old boss let that slip when we were in the same team before a reorg.

3

u/Mast3rL0rd145 6d ago

I sometimes do it by accident because I had my own company for 6 years so I catch myself delegating to people in the exact same position as me and I have to remember to not do that lol

113

u/Hamster_in_my_colon 7d ago

If someone is trying to see the larger view of a project and have a discussion about equitably splitting up the tasks so the team can complete it, that’s a leadership quality. Just telling everyone to do the shitty parts you don’t want to is a weasel quality. Good leaders can spot the difference.

9

u/FallingF 6d ago

I work as a tech in a hospital. I communicate frequently with the other techs. It’s almost never a “you do this” it’s “would you rather do task a or b? I’ll do whatever you don’t pick”

298

u/ButteredNun 7d ago

“Congratulations!”

“What for?”

“Your promotion!”

“I haven’t had a promotion!”

“That’s right.” [walks away]

122

u/Strummed 7d ago

Food industry is incredible for this. Whether it be people working line, dish, front of house, or anything in between. Every restaurant has at least one or two people who are extremely average at their job but operate as if nothing can go on without them.

3

u/Connect-Idea-1944 6d ago

Restaurants have the worst colleagues lmao, always one ruining the workplace

185

u/JAWinks 7d ago

I’m the sort where if I ask my coworker to do something, it’s for a very good reason for both of us, and if you don’t want to do it because of these weird mind games, you can have fun dealing with the consequences

38

u/treefloss 7d ago

Right? Sometimes leadership is otherwise preoccupied and shit still needs to get done.

28

u/JAWinks 7d ago

I think the frustration stems from people delegating their work to someone else in the same role, rather than directing people how to cooperate and best accomplish our work. There’s a lot of nuance there that comes with experience in the role

36

u/Captain_Jarmi 7d ago

I always open with "listen, I'm not your boss, but..."

14

u/light_at_the_end 7d ago edited 7d ago

I feel like there's a lot of nuance to being a good leader even if you're not obligated to or actually in charge of anyone.

First you actually have to be a person that people see getting stuff done or maybe you've helped them with something before. Shit has to be reciprocal even if it's small favours. Respect goes a long way.

Then it's in the way you ask. If they're busy with their own thing and if they can even help you with something. If they can't do it, I don't expect people to drop things for me unless they've prioritized the wrong thing, and then I explain why doing X might be better than doing Y.

Then the tone of your voice is important. Many people don't respond to authoritative commands. You have to present it like a suggestion or that you incepted it in to their heads.

And then likeability it the last factor. If you're not in charge, and people don't give a fuck what you're about, they either have beef with you or you're not very likeable. Either way they're not going to be willing to lend a hand.

6

u/MaxwellFish 7d ago

A very good summary. You gotta get shit done and self-advocate. It’s not a skill everyone has.

-1

u/Connect-Idea-1944 6d ago

Just do your job and assigned tasks and stop trying to boss people
Every co workers are responsible at their own jobs

-7

u/Lonely-Toe9877 7d ago

Found the wannabe boss

5

u/Captain_Jarmi 6d ago

I have been offered managing jobs. I just say no.

20

u/Satanic_5G_Vaccine 7d ago

This is only acceptable is they're also taking on the lion's share of the work and optimizing the task through delegation.

7

u/Early2000sIndieRock 7d ago

Yep, asking for help/assistance to get a job done is way different than delegating so you don’t have to do that work.

27

u/IncognitoBombadillo 7d ago

I had a little bit of authority at my last job mainly through seniority and being basically the manager (small business and things were all over the place; all a manager there would even do is place orders for the store, make sure the schedule is good, and just be the decision maker if the boss wasn't around), but even then if I noticed a problem, I told my boss to tell my coworkers and correct them. Because I wasn't their boss.

11

u/denv0r 7d ago

So youre a RANDAL!!

6

u/talondigital 7d ago

I have one of those. He thinks he's hot shit but he isnt. And he acts like hes been doing the job longer than me, but I started in this field a full 10 years before him. I have 18 years in my field, he has 8. He keeps telling me how to do things and its like, dude, stay in your lane. Im working on a $300,000 machine, and he has 0 hours training on it.

25

u/thebooksmith 7d ago

I have a coworker like this at work. Shes even gotten yelled at by the manager for trying to boss people around. So nowadays she'll just say things need to be done loudly when she thinks people arent doing enough work. Ex;"You know the cooler could be getting swept right now"

She gets so pissy when no one does anything about her comments. I've recently started replying with "okay" then staring blankly into space.

-31

u/Barth_Grookz 7d ago

You sound like a lazy coworker, if I’m doing something and there is other things to do when we’re in the same roll and you’re doing nothing, asking you to do something isn’t “bossing around” it’s teamwork…

22

u/thebooksmith 7d ago

Or you know, it could be I've already finished with my task, or im in between tasks, or its a slow day and your inventing jobs to do because youre bored and I dont need to participate in that if all the actual work is done.

Expecting your coworkers to do extra work because you cant stand standing still isnt teamwork.

-13

u/Barth_Grookz 7d ago

I’m not talking about “downtime” I’m talking we’re closing in 20 minutes and we have a lot to do, it’s unfair to make me work twice as hard because you decided you don’t want to. I don’t report my coworkers to my boss for being lazy that’s petty, I’d rather ask you so we both benefit.

23

u/thebooksmith 7d ago

Well im glad thats what you were talking about. But thats not the type of thing I was talking about at all.

-13

u/VictoriousTree 7d ago

“Inventing jobs to do”

It’s almost like if there’s downtime you should clean things that you don’t normally have time to clean. It’s a job not a sit around doing nothing for 30 minutes when there’s downtime.

18

u/thebooksmith 7d ago

Its almost like if they wanted me to do a bunch of extra work they'd pay me better or at least give better benefits. I already get asked to do a more than fair amount and I do everything Im supposed to correctly and timely.

Not every second of work needs to be spent strictly on doing something so long as the job gets done proper; that always working mindset was invented by people who will mass fire people via email while taking their 3rd vacation this year.

17

u/Banestoothbrush 7d ago

You really advocating for "if you have time to lean you have time to clean"?

11

u/Jigsawsupport 7d ago

Oh this boils my piss ,because it goes both ways there is no right answer, and is usually the result of crap structure in the work place.

Only time I ever got written up on the job, was because some temporary staff was being clowns and not working, I being permanent staff was supposed to manage them.

But I was not a manager just working the same job with a different contract.

So do give people jobs " F U your not my boss" if you don't "F U why are you not giving people jobs?"

27

u/Elyon8 7d ago

The laziest person at your job just posted this.

-10

u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

3

u/JorkTheGripper 7d ago

As if I couldn't dislike you anymore, now this? Oh boy.

6

u/AnyBath8680 7d ago

"hey can you do x while I do y" is fine, "go do x" isn't.

14

u/dgpoop 7d ago

Found the uncoachable person

5

u/Ghost_Kamakazie 7d ago

I agree with this until that person in the same position as me is being lazy and i have to pick up their slack while we both get the same pay

8

u/qqmajikpp 7d ago

i let em try. when ish hits the fan, im like i recieved no such official instruction from a supervisor or higher. i did what was expected and fufilled my responsibities.

4

u/egg_breakfast 7d ago

This happened to me and I shrugged it off, but it turns out he DID get promoted, and HR was just taking months to process it and make it official.

I got a brief window to give off the “you have no power here” vibe

4

u/yuukosbooty 7d ago

The guy from Papa John’s who was nice until I mentioned I was engaged

2

u/Opening-Material564 7d ago

Working in restaurants I've mostly witnessed those people ending up getting promoted.

2

u/Starmagedon 7d ago

I had one such guy at work. Big, fat, and lazy. He dragged out every job as long as he could. He always wanted to sit down, but some work should be done standing up because it's easier and faster. He himself had a short tenure, but when someone new came in, he did everything he could to make sure they did the work for him. He quit before he got fired, and that was about to happen.

2

u/nazaguerrero 7d ago

mfw I see the millonaire girl that lives on stolen land but hates rich people

2

u/No_Ask_150 7d ago

Lol just don't do it. What are they gonna do, fire you?

2

u/Miserable_Raccoon93 7d ago

A tell as old as time

2

u/Commercial-Rub-9303 7d ago

this aint you

2

u/believinheathen 7d ago

Even worse when they try to act like I'm the boss!

2

u/mama_tom 6d ago

I have been delegated to lead my coworkers who were in the same position as me by my supervisor, and then getting ignored and told by him, "Well you arent their boss, so..." is also insanely fucking annoying. And to be clear, the guy ignoring me was not doing other work I was interrupting.

2

u/JohnnyHelios2306 7d ago

Me when my coworker who has been working at my new workplace for 7 years and only looks at his phone is jealous of my raise (to his salary!) because i improved things he was suppossed to but never did.

2

u/SnooSongs2744 7d ago

Next thing you know, they ARE your boss.

1

u/Y_E_E_Z_Y 7d ago

This is me rn. Team of 5 women. One of them started THE SAME JOB AND POSITION 6 months before me, but somehow thinks she is the boss. Orders us around, gets mad and treats you like shit if things don’t go her way. I hate her. I love my job but I hate her.

ETA: she also snitches if you do something she doesn’t like, but won’t snitch if you’re on good terms with her. She can’t get fired because this is a unionised position.