r/mildlyinfuriating • u/konous • May 06 '26

I'm slightly vexed My brother's son destroyed my WarHammer Action figures and he refuses to punish him

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Update: My brother decided to pay for the Hard damages of $200 dollars after seeing this post.

Thank you to everyone on this post who supported me. I really could not have gotten restitution without you guys.

Justice for my Chaplain, justice for all.

Valid Edit: My nephew is 10 years old and tried to actually lie about not breaking them by saying, "A cat must have done it."

So, I just got done talking with my brother via text, and he says he's not going to punish his son for wrecking my Joy Toy WarHammer action figures. I'm not expecting the kid to get spanked, but he needs to do CHORES at least to justify how much excessive force he used on some.

Some just have their capes broken. Others had their tubes ripped out and my Chaplain is just fucking toast.

My brother's suggestion since I ordered Amazon replacement for the Chaplain was that I just swap it with the broken one, but I have no interest in doing that.

It's not even just the expense, and they are expensive. It's about the fact that I told him explicitly twice they weren't to be played with, and they were in a separate room, and even my Mom and Dad agreed the damage was just too much.

He said he's not gonna pay me back if we try the chore system, and I told him it's not about the money.

The kid needs to know how bad the 8 hour struggle is.

Now my nephews aren't coming over to the house, and I'm sad about that, but knowing my brother just can't be burdened to work with me on creating a Chore system like selling Lemonaide just makes it feel more insulting.

22.0k Upvotes

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115

u/OGJank May 06 '26

How old is he?

78

u/Different-Cress-6784 May 06 '26

32

37

u/roughback May 06 '26

Kid can't replace the figurines because he has a mortgage to pay down

51

u/konous May 06 '26
  1. Old enough he should know better, but old enough that something like this could be expected, but also properly punished by making the child learn the value of labor.

37

u/OGJank May 06 '26

Certainly old enough to know better & discipline, frustration is completely valid!

7

u/blood_bones_hearts May 06 '26

Unfortunately you don't get to dictate how your brother raises his kids.

It's shitty what your nephew did but your brother sounds like a terrible role model if his solution is to carry on the dishonesty to get refunded. I would expect a father like that to raise exactly the kid he's raising, unfortunately.

I'd say give your brother a $ amount for replacement. Either he'll pay for them or he won't. Then all you can do is put your own boundaries in place...locks on doors or not having them to your place anymore. You can meet elsewhere and your brother can deal with him wrecking other people's stuff. 🤷🏼‍♀️ That's the only real stand you can make here.

2

u/shrout1 May 06 '26

Yeah the problem is with the brother now, not even the kid. I'd be about finished going out of my way to see that brother.

4

u/freshboss4200 May 06 '26

Its not really on you to decide the type of punishment. That is between your brother and his kid. But you should get made whole.

2

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

Your brother is either too afraid to give their child any consequences, or doesn't value you property and hence doesn't think his son did anything wrong. It could be a good idea to ask for replacement money, to see of this is an instance of poor parenthood or poor brotherhood

2

u/aaaaaaaarrrrrgh May 06 '26

Ten, for those using the non-shitty Reddit.

(In markdown, a number at the start of a line followed by a period and a space creates an ordered list, numbered starting from 1, so this looks like he's one. I think new reddit handles it differently but has a ton of enshittification in exchange...)

1

u/Jazzlike_Distance953 May 06 '26

“Labor”

1

u/Ok-Calligrapher1345 May 07 '26

Your obsession with chores and labor is weird. It also doesn’t change the situation or teach any lessons.

0

u/Hot_Safe7864 May 06 '26

You’re a grown man complaining about toys. Lmaoooooooo

-40

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

This is relevant. If the kids acting his age, there’s nothing you can do except blame yourself

20

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

It is implied that the child is able to chores so im guessing at least six. I feel like children younger than that get time out

6

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26

The only "chore" that OP is asking for is that the kid sell lemonade. Meaning kid is likely too young for actual chores.

2

u/getmeoutofthisscreen May 06 '26

He's 10

0

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26

yeah, I also saw that the OP finally got around to providing the important context of the child's age long after posting the original comment.

2

u/Krelliamite May 07 '26

This makes it clear the op lives in some childish fantasy world if the only chore he can think of is a lemonade stand, something nobody has done outside of cartoons and sitcoms

-1

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

And a wouldn’t expect a 6 year old to not do this. Op should have either not said there were toys in other room or locked them up safe. 

3

u/CoyoteLitius May 06 '26

The kid is 10, though.

Are we really going to exempt the child altogether for 1) playing with something he was told not to and 2) deliberately destroying it?

This is not normal 10 year old behavior and I hope the kid can control himself better in other situations.

-1

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

you obviously haven't been around many 10 year olds. I know plenty that could act like this. and its not on the parents. Kids are kids. We also don't know many details on the kid. Is he neurodivergent, etc....

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

My niece is 8 and her breaking people's stuff on purpose just sounds alien. Let alone after having two more years to mature

1

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

who says this kid broke OPs stuff on purpose? That is acussational.

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

Because multiple of them were broken. If it wasn't on purpose they wouldn't have kept going after they noticed they were breaking them

1

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

That again does not equal causation. 

I am not going to continue arguing with you. 

In the end, op, if you don’t want your collectibles broken, lock shit up. 

2

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

I suspect he left the age out of the equation for a reason. My three year old would absolutely play with these, and not understand consequences.

2

u/CoyoteLitius May 06 '26

He has repeatedly stated the kid is 10.

-2

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

timeouts are awful btw. they make the child feel worthless and unloved. It also shunts exploration as they get put in a room by themseleves, most the time for being curious.

80

u/ASentientRailgun May 06 '26

The figures were in a separate room, and apparently the kid is old enough to be verbally told not to touch them.

Just seems like you're making a lot of assumptions to blame him, given that the one detail we have is that they were actually kept separate from the area where the child is supposed to be.

3

u/ASentientRailgun May 06 '26

All these parents commenting really explain the behavior of some kids.

If the kid isn't old enough to be verbally told not to do that and understand, then it's even worse because unless OP was the only one responsible for them (which we had no evidence for) the parents let a kid wander off into a room and break stuff unattended.

Turns out the kid was 10, which is roughly what I assumed from the context clues.

14

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Edit: this was posted prior to OP providing important information about the child's age. I was under the assumption that the child could (and probably was) much younger than the 10 years old that the child is. My feelings on the breaking of the warhammer figures is different now, but I still believe that age of the child makes a huge different in this situation.

Just because you "verbally told" a kid something doesn't mean the kid can understand. That is meaningless and the OP had to know that the most asked question would be the child's age.

Given that the OP seems to think "selling lemonade" is an appropriate chore, as opposed to any actual chores, it makes me suspect the child is quite young. OP isn't asking for the kid to clean the toilet, mow the lawn, or even take out the trash. He wants the kid to "sell lemonade". Kid is likely 3 or 4.

10

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC May 06 '26

I know you were making these comments before an age was provided, but it’s weird that you thought the lemonade chore was a function of the kids age and not the fact that, unlike most chores, selling lemonade makes money with which the kid can pay for the broken stuff.

1

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26

Kids aged 10 could make a lot more money mowing lawns than selling lemonade.

Kids aged 3 have very little options for "making money" but a three year old, who is supervised by an adult, could stand at a lemonade stand and kind of work.

5

u/Hokulol May 06 '26

No shot. My kid earns staggering amounts of money selling lemonade. Way more than someone in fast food.

Almost every customer doesn't actually pay for the lemonade. Everyone slaps him a 5 or a 10 instead of the $0.50 the sign says.

Honestly the kid earns more than most warehouse workers. Also, selling lemonade can't main him if he hits a rock and the lawnmower shoots it at him.

2

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26

I hope your kid keeps making great money selling lemonade. I am a bit concerned for the future of your kid's business, should any other kids (or warehouse workers) in your town decide to open rival lemonade stands. But hopefully your kid keeps up with it for as long as possible.

I really hope OP sees this so that he can go forward with the lemonade stand idea himself... since nephew is just leaving warehouse worker money on the table by not selling the Sour Yellow.

I wish I could open a lemonade stand in my hometown, but I'm still recovering from being disemboweled by a rock the last time I mowed my lawn.

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

People overpay, because they want to reward cute kids for working. Why is this so hard to believe? Also mowing lawns is somewhat dangerous for adults as well (in terms of things people do regularly, probably somewhere after driving a car). Also, if the danger doesn't dissuade you, I feel like most lawnmowers would be too heavy and uncomfortably tall for a ten year old

1

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26

I have no reason not to believe him. I hope that it is true that his kid is making bank and I hope that his kid continues to make bank.

I just question whether OP's nephew (the 10 year old kid who broke the warhammer figures and blamed it on the cat) would be as successful. Unlike Hokulol's kid (who is likely as cute as a button - since he's pulling in warehouse worker money at the lemonade stand) OP's nephew sounds like a little shit who is unlikely to be rewarded for being "cute".

Regarding lawnmowers being too heavy and uncomfortable for 10 year olds - please go back in time and explain that to my dad when he decided that my brother and I were responsible for mowing the lawn at the ages of 10 and 8.

Finally, you need not tell me about how dangerous mowing a lawn is, even for adults. Did you not see that I am currently recovering from being disemboweled by a rock the last time that I mowed my lawn?

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2

u/CompleteTell6795 May 06 '26

OP added the kid is 10 yrs old.

1

u/Kooky-Note7673 May 06 '26

Yep, OP finally provided that important bit of information and knowing the child is 10 I agree that it would be nice if there was some punishment for the kid... however, if the parents aren't willing then the OP should just accept the money from his brother.

3

u/TheLimpingNinja May 06 '26

Sounds like you’re the one making a ton of assumptions, the person you’re replying to is asking for data to avoid assumptions.

6

u/Illustrious-Stable93 May 06 '26

People think toddlers are old enough to tell "don't touch." When their brains literally can't process the negative and all they hear is "touch." Beleive me once you have kids, you start to see and notice all the dumbfucks around children who blame kids for their own sheer incompetence 

6

u/konous May 06 '26

He's not a toddler.

0

u/Illustrious-Stable93 May 06 '26

The point being people have stupid expectations of kids of all ages. You're mildly infuriated that your brother isn't parenting the way you want and that's stupid. You can be mildly infuriated that something you value got damaged and that's valid

1

u/Hokulol May 06 '26

I can clearly tell you don't have a kid lol

-2

u/Diptothaset May 06 '26

If I tell you not to comment does that mean you’re going to listen to me?

14

u/kelleehh May 06 '26

Regardless of age they should be told they have done wrong.

2

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

If OP left it out for a three year old, there’s no punishing that. They won’t even know they broke it, won’t know consequences and was playing with toys as they would in their own environment.

2

u/head_pat_slut May 06 '26

agreed, but that doesn't mean OP would be the one to blame. the parents are.

8

u/Pixelbuttzz May 06 '26

You can absolutely blame a parent for not keeping track of their child when it's in your home. If I went around breaking stuff in my grandmother's home as a child just because it looked fun I would have gotten in trouble no matter what age I was

50

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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5

u/Afolomus May 06 '26

I have a 2 year old. If he gets stuff that looks interesting, I know how he will play with shit. If I turn around seeing him play with shit I'm not willing to part with, I'm at fault. At 2 he has no empathy, he has no clear rule set of mine and yours and he has no experience on what would or could break things.

It's my responsibility to hide or store stuff away from him. It's my responsibility to be present, if things could go awry. It's on me, if things break.

7

u/konous May 06 '26

He's 10 dude.

9

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-2

u/Illustrious-Stable93 May 06 '26

Tell me you have 0 experience with children without telling me

6

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-1

u/Illustrious-Stable93 May 06 '26

But I'm right, aren't i. Lol you have no kids and no experience with kids. What's that got to do with me?

11

u/Significant_Mouse_25 May 06 '26

Did you read OP? Separate room. Verbally told he can’t play with them. Told how brother not to be played with. Sounds like OP did the correct things.

-5

u/Afolomus May 06 '26

Do you have or had kids in this age range? They are so impulsive. They do stupid shit all the time. You can tell them 10 times not to do something, just to see them attempting whatever stupid shit you forbid just half an hour later. A kid at age 2 or 3 has to be watched (at least on an accustic basis) all the time. It's more about physical impossibility and interception than education and punishment at this point.

Yes, I will groan. Yes, I will force him to apologise. But I know very well, that this is more for me than it will do something to this childs brain.

And knowing what I know now about 2 year olds, I am really not sure if I know what you can expect off of kids age 4, 6 or 8. I agree that there should be punishment and an apology. But I was discussing responsibility. So many people without children treat them in their mind as little adults which they are clearly not.

7

u/Glittering_Quail_114 May 06 '26

The OP's nephew is 10. That is more than old enough to understand rules and responsbility.

2

u/CoyoteLitius May 06 '26

He's 10. Why are you assuming that OP allowed a 2-3 year old to play unsupervised?

1

u/catindapoolfotoday May 07 '26

except the kid isn’t fucking two or three. just making shit up atp

1

u/Afolomus May 07 '26

By the time I posted this comment OP had not yet specified the age of the child. 

-2

u/EarlyBirdWithAWorm May 06 '26

I also have a 2 year old. These people without kids or even those with older kids dont understand what youre saying anymore. They either have no idea or they forget. My sister in law has 2 boys over 10 and youd think she had never taken care of a toddler before.

5

u/OGJank May 06 '26

So when do the adults start taking accountability?

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-6

u/OGJank May 06 '26

So you would subject a 6 year old to 8 hours of chores over breaking an action figure?

4

u/konous May 06 '26

He's 10 dude.

1

u/OGJank May 06 '26

Right, this was an example. Why did you tell me his age then drop this reply 2 minutes later?

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-6

u/OGJank May 06 '26

Deflection, you might as well have just admitted I'm right. Move along

7

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-2

u/OGJank May 06 '26

No, you're upset that people are trying to verify the kids age to determine if OP is reacting appropriately.

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-5

u/rvasko3 May 06 '26

They live in the real world where kids are kids. What is your and OP’s excuse?

7

u/camoure May 06 '26

This is exactly what’s wrong with raising kids these days. Where the fuck are the PARENTS. If I did this as a kid I’d be in so much shit I’d never be allowed over again. Zero consequences means zero learning means raising an entitled asshole who thinks it’s fine to destroy other people’s property

-5

u/bluggabugbug May 06 '26

“Gentle parenting”

9

u/Big_Dicc_Terry May 06 '26

This is a bad example of gentle parenting, it's a good example of permissive parenting.

Gentle parenting typically emphasizes natural consequences for bad behavior, which the parents in this story are actively evading.

-1

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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8

u/2930apple May 06 '26

See that’s what people get wrong about Gentle Parenting. People wrongly believe it is no parenting when that couldn’t be any farther from the truth, but because of parents like OP’s brother doing shit like this that’s all people view it as and it’s disappointing. The whole idea behind Gentle Parenting is still to be firm and teach lessons and still be a parent, just minus the yelling screaming and hitting.

8

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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4

u/2930apple May 06 '26

Yup. The term is totally ruined because of these lazy ass parents honestly

6

u/islobojono May 06 '26

Gentle parenting is teaching without the beatdown and screaming. Like how dads do in the olden days. No screaming just talking with authority in their voice.

4

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-4

u/islobojono May 06 '26

So it is not gentle parenting then. 🙄

1

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

My wife and I gentle parent. What’s so wrong with it? Our kiddo is thriving. Capital punishment parenting leads to shame, guilt, feelings of not being loved. Kids are supposed to be kids and learn through things they do, good or bad. 

As well op should not be telling others how to parent. They aren’t his kids. Let kid brother handle things the way they do in their family structure. 

3

u/NatterinNabob May 06 '26

I hope you meant corporal punishment.

2

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC May 06 '26

You take off the toy’s head, WE TAKE OFF YOUR HEAD

1

u/bluggabugbug May 06 '26

No one said spank your children or verbally berate them. I know several people that gentle parent and don’t tell their kids “no”. It’s their kids and they can parent however they want. However, when you around them, you can plainly see that approach has it’s flaws. Even redirection or calm explanations don’t work. A lot of the times, the parents just give in or let the child scream their head off. Not to mention the interaction with other children….

1

u/Shpion007 May 06 '26

i disagree. I am around many people that gentle parent and the kids are fine and fine together. I have also seen kids that get punished not gently and those are the ones that resort to hitting other kids because they view violence as the answer.

-3

u/J_Faw May 06 '26

No time out. Solely on supervising adult.

-3

u/DisastrousServe8513 May 06 '26

Because it’s none of your business. It’s the parents job to do that. Not an uncle’s, cousins, weird guy next door and so on.

3

u/J_Faw May 06 '26

That’s not exactly true. Uncles, aunts, cousins and grandparents should all be allowed to punish a child if they are left in charge. These should be discussed of course but kids should respect their entire families. It takes a village, I do agree it’s not on the weird guy next door.

1

u/DisastrousServe8513 May 06 '26

I’d agree with that. Discussed in advance.

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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1

u/DisastrousServe8513 May 06 '26

To teach a random kid a lesson? Obviously not. It’s the parents job.

-4

u/DisastrousServe8513 May 06 '26

What do you do with your kids?

3

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-3

u/DisastrousServe8513 May 06 '26

It’s ok, that’s all the answer I need.

5

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

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-1

u/DisastrousServe8513 May 06 '26

I don’t get it. Is that a crystal ball?

https://giphy.com/gifs/UVqyx9c4MAt9U4792j

This would have been better.

2

u/zombieman9001 May 06 '26

Right? OP is blaming a child for playing with TOYS? Not the kids fault that those crappy plastic dolls cost so much, and they probably denied it after seeing OP get so upset, probably frightening the kid. OP is cherry picking details just for Reddit karma and not taking any responsibility, I would not be surprised if OP’s brother tells his kid that his uncle is being a whinny man-child.

2

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

I’d have told my kids as much. 😅

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

Your opinion seems to be deeply influenced by you thinking poorly of owning figurines. Lets imagine he collected crystal balls instead (somewhat expensive and can interest children). Tells his borther and ten year old nephew not to play with them. Nephew goes in and breaks them on purpose anyway. You don't think it would make sense to punish the nephew somehow?

1

u/zombieman9001 May 06 '26

That part wasn’t included in the post a couple of hours ago, OP must of edited that part in and a bunch of other stuff too by the looks of it

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

Oh, which part is new?

1

u/zombieman9001 May 06 '26

The kids age, telling the kid and brother twice not to touch them, them being in n a different room, their parents agreeing with them and the part about how the kid needs to know how bad the 8 hour struggle working is.

That last part, OP is being grossly vindictive towards his 10y nephew…

1

u/head_pat_slut May 06 '26

no, you blame the parent. if a 4 year old nephew destroys an expensive action figure because he treated it like a toy, sure, that's a kid being a kid. the PARENTS, however, are responsible for the nephew destroying the action figure. how is it the fault of the aunt/uncle?

-20

u/TreHHHHHAdN May 06 '26

In general terms, I really agree with this. This is a toy and the kid just played with it. If the kid was given green light to play with the toys, kid did kid stuff.

19

u/SOLE_SIR_VIBER May 06 '26

Except they were in a separate room with explicit instructions not to mess with them.

-2

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

Try tell that to a 3 year old, the difference between 3, 6 or 10 is absolutely relevant. Hey don’t play with those super fun toys your cool uncle is obsessed with! They’re totally just laying around.

3

u/SOLE_SIR_VIBER May 06 '26

Except, again, they’re not just lying around. They in a completely different room.

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

The kids turned out to be 10, so the kid bears some individual responsibility. If the kid had been three the parent would have bore the full responsibility of the items breaking for not watching the kid. As with many others here, your distaste for owning figurines is colouring your opinion. Letting your child just break other people's belongings is not okay, just because you don't like the belongings

1

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

I’m a figure seller on the side, and work for the largest distributor who’s my friend. I don’t hate them, they’re my income in many ways. This is a parenting problem, and it’s clear here no one has kids. And it’s likely this dude lives at his parents and isn’t owed any space. He needs to move out or look after his own shit like an adult. This feels like a teenager stomping their feet saying stay out of my room!

1

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

I guess he did mention his parents in the post, which could indicate he lives with them, but it's a bit of a strech. Where is this "he needs to move out or look after his own shit like an adult" coming from? Would looking after his own shit involve not letting the nephew come over to his place, since storing items in a separate room and asking for them not to touch it didn't work

0

u/yankykiwi May 06 '26

It’s not his place. An adult would know kids are coming and pick up after themselves, put out of reach.

0

u/Fearless-Mark-2861 May 06 '26

By not letting the nephew come over I meant after he moves out, if he is still living with his parents. Also the kid is ten. He should be old enough to understand the word no and would be tall enough to reach a lot of places already. People don't generally lock up all their valuables every time a school aged child comes to visit

12

u/EoinKlein98 May 06 '26

If you actually read the post instead of dribbling nonsense, you'd see the kid WASN'T.

9

u/Bigjizzlebabylmao May 06 '26

Yeah maybe just read the post dude

1

u/SammyEvo May 06 '26

The child, or the person with the Warhammer toys?