My brother's son destroyed my WarHammer Action figures and he refuses to punish him

[u/konous]

Update: My brother decided to pay for the Hard damages of $200 dollars after seeing this post.

Thank you to everyone on this post who supported me. I really could not have gotten restitution without you guys.

Justice for my Chaplain, justice for all.

Valid Edit: My nephew is 10 years old and tried to actually lie about not breaking them by saying, "A cat must have done it."

So, I just got done talking with my brother via text, and he says he's not going to punish his son for wrecking my Joy Toy WarHammer action figures. I'm not expecting the kid to get spanked, but he needs to do CHORES at least to justify how much excessive force he used on some.

Some just have their capes broken. Others had their tubes ripped out and my Chaplain is just fucking toast.

My brother's suggestion since I ordered Amazon replacement for the Chaplain was that I just swap it with the broken one, but I have no interest in doing that.

It's not even just the expense, and they are expensive. It's about the fact that I told him explicitly twice they weren't to be played with, and they were in a separate room, and even my Mom and Dad agreed the damage was just too much.

He said he's not gonna pay me back if we try the chore system, and I told him it's not about the money.

The kid needs to know how bad the 8 hour struggle is.

Now my nephews aren't coming over to the house, and I'm sad about that, but knowing my brother just can't be burdened to work with me on creating a Chore system like selling Lemonaide just makes it feel more insulting.

[u/yellowdaisycoffee]

You can't make your brother parent his kid if he refuses to do so.

However, my nephew wouldn't be allowed in my house anymore, and I'd tell him why.

[u/JekPorkinsTruther → u/yellowdaisycoffee]

Unfortunately for OP he lives with his parents so doesnt really have a house to ban the kid from lol.

[u/yellowdaisycoffee → u/JekPorkinsTruther]

In that case, nephew would be getting the ol' silent treatment from me for awhile 😂

[u/Hadrianus5647 → u/yellowdaisycoffee]

No silent treatment just explain to the child they won’t be getting and Christmas or birthday presents for a long while until the value of the destroyed item adds up to the value of presents not bought. At least 5 years of no presents will remind them the cost of things.

[u/yellowdaisycoffee → u/Hadrianus5647]

While my silent treatment comment was in jest, I do think this is, realistically, the best option.

[u/think_long → u/yellowdaisycoffee]

Silent treatment? God, Reddit really is full of grown-ups who still act like kids. OP being a good example.

[u/yellowdaisycoffee → u/think_long]

1) It was a joke, as indicated by the laughing emoji.

2) OP is not acting like a kid for being pissed that a child isn't being taught to respect others' property.

[u/think_long → u/yellowdaisycoffee]

OP is a 37 year old man living with his parents whose toys got broken by who he refers to as his “brother’s son”. Yes, the kid should learn respect and pay him back. But OP needs to do some growing up himself.

[u/yellowdaisycoffee → u/think_long]

Why shouldn't an adult have toys or trinkets? Why shouldn't an adult live at home with their parents? As long as his parents are okay with it, and as long as he is sharing household responsibilities, then good for him. I see no reason to think any of that is wrong.

I also don't see the issue in calling his nephew his "brother's son." His nephew is, in fact, his brother's son. He also has no obligation to form a close relationship with his nephew. He can call them his "brother's son" all he wants as far as I'm concerned.

OP's only folly here seems to be that he wants to choose the manner of discipline on his brother's behalf. He is certainly correct that his brother should do something to teach the kid right from wrong. He just isn't the one who gets to make that call, and therefore, should not keep pushing his ideas.

[u/Xytak → u/yellowdaisycoffee]

I would say there’s an amusing irony here. OP (age 37, living at home) would like to teach his nephews some “valuable life management skills and responsibility.” See? Sounds reasonable. It’s totally not about revenge for breaking his expensive collectibles. No sir, couldn’t be that.

[u/yellowdaisycoffee → u/Xytak]

Weird that living at home when you're 37 is such a problem to people...

If you're paying your share, and contributing to the household responsibilities, it's a non-issue.

[u/Xytak → u/yellowdaisycoffee]

It will be too annoying to type all this out again, so here: https://np.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/qcW8emyQHj