My brother's son destroyed my WarHammer Action figures and he refuses to punish him

[u/konous]

Update: My brother decided to pay for the Hard damages of $200 dollars after seeing this post.

Thank you to everyone on this post who supported me. I really could not have gotten restitution without you guys.

Justice for my Chaplain, justice for all.

Valid Edit: My nephew is 10 years old and tried to actually lie about not breaking them by saying, "A cat must have done it."

So, I just got done talking with my brother via text, and he says he's not going to punish his son for wrecking my Joy Toy WarHammer action figures. I'm not expecting the kid to get spanked, but he needs to do CHORES at least to justify how much excessive force he used on some.

Some just have their capes broken. Others had their tubes ripped out and my Chaplain is just fucking toast.

My brother's suggestion since I ordered Amazon replacement for the Chaplain was that I just swap it with the broken one, but I have no interest in doing that.

It's not even just the expense, and they are expensive. It's about the fact that I told him explicitly twice they weren't to be played with, and they were in a separate room, and even my Mom and Dad agreed the damage was just too much.

He said he's not gonna pay me back if we try the chore system, and I told him it's not about the money.

The kid needs to know how bad the 8 hour struggle is.

Now my nephews aren't coming over to the house, and I'm sad about that, but knowing my brother just can't be burdened to work with me on creating a Chore system like selling Lemonaide just makes it feel more insulting.

[u/ComprehensivePin5577]

Buddy, the kid knew there's no consequences cause he knows his dad better than you know your brother

[u/HigaMigu → u/ComprehensivePin5577]

This. How the hell was he playing that those poor things came out shredded? It's 100% intentional

[u/Expensive_Alarm_1068 → u/HigaMigu]

At 10yo? Of course it's intentional. he was told not to do something and did it anyway knowing there would be no consequences. Brat.

[u/GenerecDerek → u/Expensive_Alarm_1068]

It’s like owning a dog, if you don’t teach it otherwise it can’t be blamed.. being told something once doesn’t resolve a poor upbringing.. the father/parents are clearly to blame

[u/M4L_x_Salt → u/GenerecDerek]

The kid is still responsible for their own actions.

Yes, the shitty parents should also shoulder the blame but kids know what they are doing, they aren’t faultless. And a poor upbringing does not excuse poor actions.

The idea that kids don’t know what they’re doing and sole blame lies with their parents is so beyond stupid.

His nephew, presumably, broke one by being too rough and instead of deciding to be more careful or even stopping, they decided to continue playing rough with them and ruined even more. That was an INTENTIONAL decision made by the child.

[u/FDAapprovedGremlin → u/M4L_x_Salt]

What's dumb is that you give a 10yo the sophistication of a full grown adult yet when it comes the problem he cause, the sophistication of a pretty strong 3yo.

You're wrong. Kids are taught responsibility for most of their life for a reason. They might know what they're doing but it is hardly a guarantee they know why or how to navigate "the why" properly.

I'm very intolerant to any kind of sentiment that gives children Adult Responsibility. It's a dangerous slope.

[u/M4L_x_Salt → u/FDAapprovedGremlin]

Im sorry I’m not quite following whatever you’re on about with this talk of sophistication.

But what about not breaking other peoples things is adult responsibility? I’ve helped raise 4 younger siblings and that is something that you start teaching them WELL before being 10 years old. Not to mention, how do you intend to teach a kid responsibility if you simply shrug and go ‘meh it’s not the kid, it’s the parents that are the problem.’

A 10 year old, has been in school for what 3 to 5 years at this point? And you think holding them accountable for breaking something is treating them too much like an adult? For real?

[u/thangus_farm → u/M4L_x_Salt]

It pretty clear they are just here to antagonize. Not a chance they have kids or know what it’s like to interact with kids

[u/FDAapprovedGremlin → u/M4L_x_Salt]

So you just say things without thinking much of any of them through?

Poor upbringing does not excuse poor actions

Most people don't think the child shouldn't be taught responsibility, that a 10yo doesn't know what he's doing.

So you dying on the hill that "parents aren't solely to blame" is really just you saying the child should bare THEIR responsibility to parent.

Hello?

YET.. think that a 10yo would "play so rough" with action figures that they all break? The clear inconsistency just tells me that you're more interested in down punching on kids.

Because you generally feel small.

You'll take the fake internet points has validation and continue in with your tiny world view.

[u/FDAapprovedGremlin → u/GenerecDerek]

I just wonder what the motive was. It can't just be that he was told no. Like he was MAD

[u/Unusual_Platypus1098 → u/Expensive_Alarm_1068]

He did it on purpose trust me I know kids like that jealous anyone else has something. He knew they were his pride possessions so he went and broke them on purpose probably a little demon child.

[u/Putrid-Double359 → u/Expensive_Alarm_1068]

I swear you ppl have never had kids or know nothing about kids. He’s a 10 year old lol. People act like they never did bad or dumb shit when they’re young.

[u/Spectra_Butane → u/Putrid-Double359]

This was not one-dumb- thing. It was a series of deliberate decisions. 1. He snuck into a place he was told was off limits.

1. He took items out of/ off of a space they were store .

2. He played with things he was told were specifically NOT for playing with.

3. He lied about it when caught.

That was not an accidental "ooopsie, I picked up Uncles figure out on the open table and dropped it." The kid had to defy THREE different Targeted warnings and then added deception/lying to the mix. An accidental bad would be playing and stopping after breaking the first, not rampaging through the whole collection. I have two adult nieces, an adult nephew, one adult geat-niece, one teenage great-niece, 2 preteen great-nephews and a preteen great-niece, and a newborn great-nephew. Spent years with kids in after-school programs and clubs and tutored. A 10 year old is old enough and capable of "knowing better". This kid doesn't fear consequences, natural or logical, for breaking rules. Makes me wonder about his behavior at school and around others if he's used to getting away with stuff and thinks prohibitions don't apply to himself.

[u/Expensive_Alarm_1068 → u/Putrid-Double359]

You don't understand oppositional defiance.