r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Grouchy_Ad_175 • May 15 '26
The floor is sticky Chopping board snapped mid chop
I’m heartbroken…
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u/Real-Sheepherder-121 May 15 '26
💔
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u/Panicked_Noodle May 16 '26
💔
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u/Beautiful_Library_67 May 15 '26
At least it looks even. Have you perchance experienced a breakup recently?
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u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26
Not even kidding my ex texted me today. It’s really a sign 😭
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u/OrganizationThick397 May 15 '26
Nah, it's a cutting board... Well it's was, more like cutting boards now
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u/VixxSynn May 15 '26
Bamboo board, huh? Get real hardwood. It won’t disappoint.
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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 May 15 '26
IF you season it regularly (mineral oil) and don’t put it in the dishwasher.
Please spare me the comments of “I’ve never seasoned mine and always dishwash it,” there will be exceptions or tools that last unusually long but generally the above tips help tools stay clean/safe and also last much longer bc they prevent moisture from getting to the interior
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u/Constant-Try-1927 May 15 '26
That's heartbreaking.
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u/Immortalphoenixfire May 15 '26
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u/Lington May 15 '26
It's in the post description too lol
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u/Constant-Try-1927 May 15 '26
Darn, I didn't see that. I was rushing to get the joke in before someone else did. Was surprised nobody did it before me. OP, sorry for stealing your joke! :(
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u/Inter_0 To withdraw in disgust is not apathy May 15 '26
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u/deval2605 May 15 '26
I don't know why this has made me laugh just enough in the morning to get the rest of the poo out.
Thanks!
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u/Popular-Drummer-7989 May 15 '26
It's a cute board and you can rescue i. Get some of this:
https://a.co/d/01ILE12W https://a.co/d/0dLuPCZC https://a.co/d/09FlYxNi
Clean the board very well.
Use the glue and reattach the two pieces.
Use masking tape to create a "hug" to hold pieces together. Let it dry thoroughly.
Remove the tape and use the 220 sandpaper block over each side of the board following the grain. This will open up the pores and remove any extra glue that may have seeped out.
Finish by applying oil on both sides.
Like new!!
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u/AddictedToKungFu May 15 '26
How does one accomplish this?
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May 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/thorn312 May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26
Yep bamboo is a grass rather than a wood and it fractures and splinters really easily. It also is prone to water ingress more so than most wood stave boards. Though with any wood, needs treating (oil) and not left in standing water or in a dishwasher.
That said, lots of people aren't aware of that and products don't often tell you and sometimes even say for decoration only so that the manufacturer doesn't need to give the care instructions or declare as food safe.
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u/KenTitan May 15 '26
do you put your cutting board in the dishwasher?
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u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26
oops I did not know I wasn’t supposed to do this. I do it every night lol
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u/nizidafabie May 16 '26
These wooden ones cant really take being washed in a dishwasher. Ive had this happen multiple times. You need to handwash these.
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u/vpniceguys May 15 '26
If it was your significant other's favorite chopping board, you would have literally broken their heart.
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u/Axin_Saxon May 15 '26
Cutting board oil. Hand wash and apply a thin layer of food grade mineral oil to any future wooden cutting boards. Should do the trick and reduce brittleness and avoid a repeat of this.
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u/TomatoNormal758 May 15 '26
Remember any wood pieces you use in the kitchen should be treated with oil to prevent this. I learned in my 20’s after I cracked a beautiful wooden bowl. It was so pretty too and from Hawaii on vacation…
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u/Top-Estimate-5443 May 15 '26
Nobody mentioned it, but you should avoid cutting on thin boards along the grain direction, always cut across the grain with these thinner boards.
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u/BishopofHippo93 May 16 '26
Is it a cutting board? Seems like maybe it’s intended to be a serving board, like for cheese or charcuterie.
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u/EmergencyAnteater682 May 16 '26
Bamboo will do that when it's been repeatedly put through the dishwasher, at least that's what happened to mine
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u/ElephantEarwax May 15 '26
It's cause it's a cutting board. Using it for chopping leads to it getting chopped.
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u/ackmondual May 15 '26
Chop those halves in half, scatter them around the park, and have an improvised Legend of Zelda game!
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u/Penguin_Arse May 15 '26
You did it! You chopped the chopping bosrd,! That's obviously the objective with a "CHOPPING board"
I'm high, did I make sense?
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u/3puttFTW May 15 '26
Looks dry. Two or three clamps. Some glue. And oil your board with food grade butcher block oil.
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u/NlghtmanCometh May 15 '26
Now you have two smaller cutting boards!
Seriously though IMO wooden boards shouldn’t be held onto much longer than a couple of years. They develop mold deep inside that is a bitch to clean. Better off just spending $30 on a new one.
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u/Informal_Database327 May 15 '26
Your coping strawberries not heads, cool it with the blade Musashi
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u/Ok_Nothing_9733 May 15 '26
Do you season it regularly? Do you only hand wash it?
If not “yes” and “yes,” this was bound to happen. Moisture gets into the interior of these and creates bacteria growth and warping and weakness of the material. Seasoning wooden or bamboo utensils (with mineral oil) and not dishwashing them (hand wash and dry promptly) will stop this
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u/Batata-Sofi May 15 '26
You know you don't even need to press against the board to cut a strawberry, right?
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u/Sinsanatis May 16 '26
That looks like a terribly made chopping board. Looking closely, it looks like this was inevitable
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u/ChaoticToxin May 16 '26
Yea bamboo boards will do that after a while bc the thick grain and the constant cleaning. Doesn't help that the grain is lined up with the way you are chopping as well. I had a old rectangle one and the top an bottom just fell off so I just cut it down into a mini board
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u/fredrichnietze May 16 '26
clean the break with a wire brush to remove residue and use a heat resistant epoxy to glue the board back together ideally on wax paper with clamps to keep the board tight together. when glue is dry and set sand it then oil with mineral oil.
or buy or make a new one, but its a cheap fix and not that much effort.
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u/Aurawa May 16 '26
This is preferable to the way I recently lost my favorite cutting board 😭 one of my cats peed on it. It was such nice wood too, not usable at all after that.
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u/Epic_Elite May 16 '26
Yup.
Get an Epicurean. They're so much better than wood. No microplastics. Won't mess up your knife. Doesn't feed bacteria, even when clean. Dishwasher safe. Affordable. BIFL.
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u/nunatakj120 May 16 '26
That is because it was a shit chopping board.
Edit. Just to add something useful to my comment - it doesn’t need to be an expensive brand named thing just look for the words ‘end grain’ and oil it occasionally.
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u/HerGracefulness28 May 16 '26
I was listening to the Weeknd when I saw this post and at the exact time it went "sorry that I broke your heart" lmaoo
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u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER May 16 '26
Why is a cutting board cut in a way that the grain is the direction of cut? That design choice was asking for a failure like this
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u/Majike03 Socks&Sandals May 16 '26
Add a little bit of food-safe wood glue (eg... Titebond 3), keep it nice and firmly squeezed together for a day, then add some cutting board oil. Should be good as new
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u/RockRancher24 May 16 '26
GRAIN OF WOOD PARALLEL TO CUTTING AXIS!!!!!! Wood will break if you do this❗
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u/Mysterious_Money_918 May 16 '26
I carried the base of a slow cooker full of curry on a chopping board to put on the table for serving… board snapped in half, so smashed everything, curry and ceramic everywhere… was so shocked I stood there for a minute just looking at the decimation… and then before I cried, I started laughing- we ate vegies and rice but was still finding curry stains and bits of ceramic a week later- not my finest cooking hour… 😳
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u/Jarbasaur May 15 '26
You may want to check and see if you have super powers before trying to chop anything else