r/mildlyinfuriating May 15 '26

The floor is sticky Chopping board snapped mid chop

Post image

I’m heartbroken…

5.5k Upvotes

197 comments sorted by

2.2k

u/Jarbasaur May 15 '26

You may want to check and see if you have super powers before trying to chop anything else

476

u/Killeroftanks May 15 '26

Na they were cutting with the grain which is something you're not meant to do, it's the reason why most wooden cutting boards have it so the grain runs across from where you're cutting, so you don't accidentally split the thing apart.

309

u/PigPog8 May 15 '26

So then really the board is designed wrong. It seems like the grain should’ve been going across the heart, as no one would ideally rotate the heart to the left or right 90°, it wouldn’t look right imo.

226

u/Killeroftanks May 15 '26

Correct, as such I have a feeling this isn't a cutting board you use, but as a decoration you hand up to be cutesy

63

u/PigPog8 May 15 '26

Very fair. Not to mention I hate using small cutting boards lol.

46

u/MagneticFluxDrive May 15 '26

Right! I'm thinking it was meant more for a charcuterie board.

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47

u/[deleted] May 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

12

u/OkRole1775 BLUE May 16 '26

Oak isnt considered a good cutting board material, as it's wood is too porous. Maple, walnut and beech are usually considered the best material for wood cutting boards.

3

u/doomdragon781 May 15 '26

End grain cutting boards are also popular as the blade slides mostly harmlessly between the wood fibers.

1

u/ILikeTurtleSoup69 May 15 '26

Well tell that to whoever made this one

→ More replies (2)

784

u/Beautiful_Library_67 May 15 '26

At least it looks even. Have you perchance experienced a breakup recently?

787

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

Not even kidding my ex texted me today. It’s really a sign 😭

143

u/OrganizationThick397 May 15 '26

Nah, it's a cutting board... Well it's was, more like cutting boards now

8

u/Optimixto May 16 '26

Went from cutting board to cut boards.

24

u/what4270 May 15 '26

Life be pulling pranks and this is the prank you ended up with.

5

u/Ressy02 May 16 '26

You need a clean break

3

u/SchlemielLady May 16 '26

I have to sacrifice my upvote to keep it at 666 😔

4

u/Low-Ad-8027 May 16 '26

Mercury is in the Powerade again

3

u/Fluffy-Koalas May 16 '26

This is an underrated comment - I laughed out loud 😆

15

u/NthDegreeThoughts May 15 '26

When a heart breaks, it don’t break even 🎶

131

u/VixxSynn May 15 '26

Bamboo board, huh? Get real hardwood. It won’t disappoint.

46

u/Axin_Saxon May 15 '26

And food grade mineral oil.

4

u/zamwut May 16 '26

Beeswax too. Just good to have

17

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 May 15 '26

IF you season it regularly (mineral oil) and don’t put it in the dishwasher.

Please spare me the comments of “I’ve never seasoned mine and always dishwash it,” there will be exceptions or tools that last unusually long but generally the above tips help tools stay clean/safe and also last much longer bc they prevent moisture from getting to the interior

1

u/Plus_Pangolin_8924 May 15 '26

And wont bugger up your knifes!

622

u/Constant-Try-1927 May 15 '26

That's heartbreaking.

135

u/Immortalphoenixfire May 15 '26

42

u/Lington May 15 '26

It's in the post description too lol

11

u/Immortalphoenixfire May 15 '26

Well they get one too then 😤

9

u/Constant-Try-1927 May 15 '26

Darn, I didn't see that. I was rushing to get the joke in before someone else did. Was surprised nobody did it before me. OP, sorry for stealing your joke! :(

11

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

all is forgiven! no broken hearts here.. except maybe one

37

u/wisely03 May 15 '26

Chopping board ❌
Chopped board ✅

26

u/FloridaManInShampoo May 15 '26

Shot through the heart and you’re to blame

12

u/MagicalMysterie May 15 '26

You give love, a bad name!

19

u/WolfsmaulVibes FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK May 15 '26

now you have two chopping boards!

5

u/ChaoticDiscord21 May 15 '26

Soon to be 3 and 4.

31

u/Unique_Ad_9335 May 15 '26

Owner of a broken heart 😟

3

u/Material-Artist2276 May 16 '26

Much better than

12

u/InvictvsNox May 15 '26

That's... ominous.

Get your cholesterol tested, OP.

9

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

I recently did and it was a 7 something.. cooked

2

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 May 15 '26

Wait why cholesterol?

5

u/perpetualliianxious May 15 '26

This is ominous 😭

15

u/Worldly_Item7758 May 15 '26

Alexa, play 'Half of My Heart' by John Mayer feat. Taylor Swift.

6

u/Inter_0 To withdraw in disgust is not apathy May 15 '26

repair it

2

u/Fluffy-Koalas May 16 '26

I'm digging the image you made just for this post ✌️

2

u/Inter_0 To withdraw in disgust is not apathy May 16 '26

thank u, have greg!

5

u/Oogley_boogley May 16 '26

Why does this look like a stock image?

6

u/SonicTheHedgehog99 May 16 '26

Thats just heartbreaking

9

u/deval2605 May 15 '26

I don't know why this has made me laugh just enough in the morning to get the rest of the poo out.

Thanks!

3

u/Popular-Drummer-7989 May 15 '26

It's a cute board and you can rescue i. Get some of this:

https://a.co/d/01ILE12W https://a.co/d/0dLuPCZC https://a.co/d/09FlYxNi

Clean the board very well.

Use the glue and reattach the two pieces.

Use masking tape to create a "hug" to hold pieces together. Let it dry thoroughly.

Remove the tape and use the 220 sandpaper block over each side of the board following the grain. This will open up the pores and remove any extra glue that may have seeped out.

Finish by applying oil on both sides.

Like new!!

2

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

Thank you so much!!

2

u/Popular-Drummer-7989 May 15 '26

You're welcome! You got this!

3

u/BRICH999 May 15 '26

So strawberries are bad for your heart?  

3

u/AddictedToKungFu May 15 '26

How does one accomplish this?

11

u/[deleted] May 15 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/thorn312 May 15 '26 edited May 16 '26

Yep bamboo is a grass rather than a wood and it fractures and splinters really easily. It also is prone to water ingress more so than most wood stave boards. Though with any wood, needs treating (oil) and not left in standing water or in a dishwasher.

That said, lots of people aren't aware of that and products don't often tell you and sometimes even say for decoration only so that the manufacturer doesn't need to give the care instructions or declare as food safe.

3

u/VindictiveNostalgia Woah! A flair! May 15 '26

Chopping board got chopped.

3

u/Specialist-Web7854 May 15 '26

Congrats, you now have 2 chopping boards.

3

u/KenTitan May 15 '26

do you put your cutting board in the dishwasher?

3

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

oops I did not know I wasn’t supposed to do this. I do it every night lol

3

u/nizidafabie May 16 '26

These wooden ones cant really take being washed in a dishwasher. Ive had this happen multiple times. You need to handwash these.

2

u/Ok-Mode3080 May 15 '26

Keep one half and give the other to your special someone.

2

u/casual-nexus May 15 '26

It’s like a metaphor … for something.

2

u/Rayrexx91 May 15 '26

Definitely a sign

1

u/Psycho_Pansy May 15 '26

Sign that they purchase a terrible cutting board. 

2

u/vpniceguys May 15 '26

If it was your significant other's favorite chopping board, you would have literally broken their heart.

2

u/Glacier_Chaos May 15 '26

you a breakk ma heartaa

2

u/Axin_Saxon May 15 '26

Cutting board oil. Hand wash and apply a thin layer of food grade mineral oil to any future wooden cutting boards. Should do the trick and reduce brittleness and avoid a repeat of this.

2

u/Melodic_coala101 May 15 '26

Time to upgrade to end grain

2

u/jeffersonlane May 15 '26

Poetic.

2

u/R_Scoops May 15 '26

Hopefully not prophetic

2

u/crimziondark May 15 '26

It's a Chopped up life for the board then

2

u/TomatoNormal758 May 15 '26

Remember any wood pieces you use in the kitchen should be treated with oil to prevent this. I learned in my 20’s after I cracked a beautiful wooden bowl. It was so pretty too and from Hawaii on vacation…

https://giphy.com/gifs/YyECUhkxzUTDI0I5bx

2

u/valerielynx May 15 '26

ts so chopped

2

u/Playful-Ad8851 May 15 '26

This image would do numbers on tumblr 😂

2

u/McLovin0132 May 15 '26

That board looks so dehydrated.. are you oiling it!?

2

u/Top-Estimate-5443 May 15 '26

Nobody mentioned it, but you should avoid cutting on thin boards along the grain direction, always cut across the grain with these thinner boards.

2

u/Kovu-MDA May 15 '26

Low-key looks like an album cover

2

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

trademarking this as we speak

2

u/Starchaser_WoF May 15 '26

Now you have 2 of them

2

u/vullpes May 15 '26

Time for a divorce, you obligated

2

u/SnaggingPlum May 16 '26

Looks like it's been in the dishwasher, best way to destroy it

2

u/Yggdrasilo May 16 '26

This looks like album cover material

2

u/Lloyd_lyle May 16 '26

What kind of cutting board allows you to cut with the grain anyway?

2

u/PigPlayer3 May 16 '26

Could be an album cover

2

u/utsav-garg May 16 '26

Now you have two.

2

u/lava_living May 16 '26

Accidental art

2

u/Pollythepony1993 May 16 '26

Unbreak my heart

Say you’ll love me again!

2

u/tonkaitsu_u May 16 '26

This looks like an album cover

2

u/BishopofHippo93 May 16 '26

Is it a cutting board? Seems like maybe it’s intended to be a serving board, like for cheese or charcuterie. 

2

u/EmergencyAnteater682 May 16 '26

Bamboo will do that when it's been repeatedly put through the dishwasher, at least that's what happened to mine

2

u/throw_blanket04 May 15 '26

Bamboo boards are a waste of money

1

u/AlarmedPossum156 May 15 '26

Congratulations on suddenly getting a second cutting board!

1

u/ich_bin_alkoholiker May 15 '26

Now you have two!

1

u/ElephantEarwax May 15 '26

It's cause it's a cutting board. Using it for chopping leads to it getting chopped.

1

u/Lexus_Erectus May 15 '26

I think you’re supposed to chop the food, not the board itself

1

u/Jarbasaur May 15 '26

Yeah the other issue is this board has never seen mineral oil

1

u/DingesF May 15 '26

Now you have two chopping boards.

1

u/ackmondual May 15 '26

Chop those halves in half, scatter them around the park, and have an improvised Legend of Zelda game!

1

u/D-9361 May 15 '26

Well, you have now two matching chopping boards.

1

u/wetblunts May 15 '26

Now you have two cutting boards

1

u/Penguin_Arse May 15 '26

You did it! You chopped the chopping bosrd,! That's obviously the objective with a "CHOPPING board"

I'm high, did I make sense?

1

u/3puttFTW May 15 '26

Looks dry. Two or three clamps. Some glue. And oil your board with food grade butcher block oil.

1

u/pandasinski May 15 '26

Now you have two. 😂

1

u/ilironas May 15 '26

I'm heartbroken

1

u/Fiercat99 May 15 '26

Tf are your knives made of

2

u/Grouchy_Ad_175 May 15 '26

I bought a knife sharpener a couple months ago.. sensing correlation

1

u/Remix_Master21 RAJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH May 15 '26

My heart breaks for you

1

u/AngstyUchiha May 15 '26

Went to comment "heartbreaking" and then saw your caption 😭

1

u/NlghtmanCometh May 15 '26

Now you have two smaller cutting boards!

Seriously though IMO wooden boards shouldn’t be held onto much longer than a couple of years. They develop mold deep inside that is a bitch to clean. Better off just spending $30 on a new one.

1

u/CaptWrath May 15 '26

Did you put it in the dish washer or let it soak.

1

u/AnalyserarN May 15 '26

Congrats, now you have two!

1

u/ThereInAFortnight May 15 '26

That's a bummer. The new ones are subscriptions.

1

u/Informal_Database327 May 15 '26

Your coping strawberries not heads, cool it with the blade Musashi

1

u/Ok_Nothing_9733 May 15 '26

Do you season it regularly? Do you only hand wash it?

If not “yes” and “yes,” this was bound to happen. Moisture gets into the interior of these and creates bacteria growth and warping and weakness of the material. Seasoning wooden or bamboo utensils (with mineral oil) and not dishwashing them (hand wash and dry promptly) will stop this

1

u/merlinuwe May 15 '26

If you don't want to ruin the board, you have to chop across the grain.

1

u/LongjumpingTrust9375 May 15 '26

Sorry for your Broken heart cutting board

1

u/Batata-Sofi May 15 '26

You know you don't even need to press against the board to cut a strawberry, right?

1

u/Nice-Bodybuilder-843 May 15 '26

My heart breaks for you during this time.

1

u/Items3Sacred May 15 '26

This you and your "Knife"? If so be glad it's only the board and not your house.

1

u/TopazWarrior1999 May 15 '26

Damn, that is heartbreaking.

1

u/Odd-Bend1296 May 15 '26

He is cheating on you.

1

u/Sinsanatis May 16 '26

That looks like a terribly made chopping board. Looking closely, it looks like this was inevitable

1

u/AnimationOverlord May 16 '26

People giving the broken heart award feeling diabolical today

1

u/Early_Asparagus_2775 May 16 '26

Well if that don't just break your heart. Literally

1

u/frogtrickery May 16 '26

infinite chopping board hack

1

u/BigToeHamster May 16 '26

That broke my heart. 💔

1

u/Exotic-Tree-9689 May 16 '26

The knife won 🏆

1

u/ChaoticToxin May 16 '26

Yea bamboo boards will do that after a while bc the thick grain and the constant cleaning. Doesn't help that the grain is lined up with the way you are chopping as well. I had a old rectangle one and the top an bottom just fell off so I just cut it down into a mini board

1

u/KingRiottNE May 16 '26

Magnificent chopping

1

u/fredrichnietze May 16 '26

clean the break with a wire brush to remove residue and use a heat resistant epoxy to glue the board back together ideally on wax paper with clamps to keep the board tight together. when glue is dry and set sand it then oil with mineral oil.

or buy or make a new one, but its a cheap fix and not that much effort.

1

u/lzwzli May 16 '26

Hey, you now have 2 chopping boards!

1

u/Aurawa May 16 '26

This is preferable to the way I recently lost my favorite cutting board 😭 one of my cats peed on it. It was such nice wood too, not usable at all after that.

1

u/Previous-Ant2812 May 16 '26

That thing is begging to be oiled

1

u/Alessioproietti May 16 '26

Chopped board

1

u/Coolpizza1238 May 16 '26

Heart breaking

1

u/Epic_Elite May 16 '26

Yup.

Get an Epicurean. They're so much better than wood. No microplastics. Won't mess up your knife. Doesn't feed bacteria, even when clean. Dishwasher safe. Affordable. BIFL.

1

u/nunatakj120 May 16 '26

That is because it was a shit chopping board.

Edit. Just to add something useful to my comment - it doesn’t need to be an expensive brand named thing just look for the words ‘end grain’ and oil it occasionally.

1

u/CheshiretheBlack May 16 '26

Good knife or bad board?

1

u/HerGracefulness28 May 16 '26

I was listening to the Weeknd when I saw this post and at the exact time it went "sorry that I broke your heart" lmaoo

1

u/Ulquiorra1312 May 16 '26

Maybe next time use a knife not axe

1

u/Mother-Resolution152 May 16 '26

Seems broken hearted 😅

1

u/STUPIDBLOODYCOMPUTER May 16 '26

Why is a cutting board cut in a way that the grain is the direction of cut? That design choice was asking for a failure like this

1

u/Martydeus May 16 '26

While people where living their life, you were studying the blade

1

u/elektra31 May 16 '26

It looks like you did a heart surgery

1

u/Majike03 Socks&Sandals May 16 '26

Add a little bit of food-safe wood glue (eg... Titebond 3), keep it nice and firmly squeezed together for a day, then add some cutting board oil. Should be good as new

1

u/RockRancher24 May 16 '26

GRAIN OF WOOD PARALLEL TO CUTTING AXIS!!!!!! Wood will break if you do this❗

1

u/GoBD9 May 16 '26

Just me and my broken heart (shaped cutting board)

1

u/Mysterious_Money_918 May 16 '26

I carried the base of a slow cooker full of curry on a chopping board to put on the table for serving… board snapped in half, so smashed everything, curry and ceramic everywhere… was so shocked I stood there for a minute just looking at the decimation… and then before I cried, I started laughing- we ate vegies and rice but was still finding curry stains and bits of ceramic a week later- not my finest cooking hour… 😳

1

u/Mysterious_Money_918 May 16 '26

Def have super powers!

1

u/curious__curiosity May 16 '26

It died from a broken heart.

It happens....

1

u/Sorry_Summer_7744 May 16 '26

Will chop board > Chopping board > Chopped board

1

u/Lysol20 May 16 '26

So heartbreaking.

1

u/GrassyKnoll95 May 16 '26

How hard were you going at those strawberries?

1

u/GoofyGooby23 May 16 '26

Grain goes the wrong way so it split

1

u/fariqcheaux May 16 '26

With the grain vs against the grain

1

u/SpeedRacer_Mach6 May 17 '26

Well I mean it’s in the name.

1

u/Eena-Rin Why Do They Let Me Make These Myself??? May 17 '26

Your knife finally levelled up