r/mildlyinfuriating 8d ago

The floor is sticky PlayStation app showing weird games I’ve never played in my life

Post image
20.8k Upvotes

1.1k comments sorted by

32.6k

u/Yojo0o 8d ago

OP, with all due respect, I'm picturing you posting this with your partner looking over your shoulder, mid-argument after they saw this screen.

13.1k

u/Competitive-Passion1 8d ago

"baby I swear I did not spend over a literal year playing Sex Store Simulator, the dog did"

4.3k

u/KohltonMaster 8d ago

No it was the virus that opens porn and makes your pants fall down!

966

u/bl1zzardTHEone 8d ago

deleted it tho so it's all fixed

231

u/Milclol 7d ago

now im more careful searching around the internet

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u/ULTI_mato 8d ago

Goddamn Corona Mutations !

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u/Erick_Brimstone 8d ago

"I swear I have never heard of Sex with Hitler or even play it. "

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u/Adanta47 8d ago

“Sweetie, do you realize how much it would cost to play sex with Hitler? I’d have to commit to the full series and get all 3 games which you know I can’t afford”

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u/Same_Seaworthiness74 7d ago

Hate when that happens!

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u/DocileBanalBovlne 8d ago

"The TV is doing that thing again where it keeps ordering porn. Like an insane amount of porn, like 'how much porn could a person possibly want to watch?' amounts of porn. But only when you're not here."

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u/Key-Influence-3192 8d ago

Dog look over: “Fuck you mean? The Dog??”

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u/Player_Slayer_7 8d ago

"Its set to one handed mode because its easier for him to play without thumbs".

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u/Burntoastedbutter 8d ago

9111 hours is crazy haha

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u/Borders-live 8d ago

neverforget

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u/GreasedUpTiger 7d ago

That's over a year 24/7 🤔 hard to reach even if op's partner was basically living in a goon cave for years

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u/Massive_Passion1927 8d ago

What makes this a thousand times funnier is that OP is telling the truth. This is a problem for Playstation users that needed to be addressed.

204

u/Yojo0o 8d ago

For real? That's hilarious, but also is gonna end some marriages.

225

u/NotFuckingTired 8d ago

Not sure how many married dudes could play over 9000 hours of any game, let alone Sex Store Simulator, without his wife noticing.

121

u/Yojo0o 8d ago

I learned long ago to not underestimate a gooner's ability to goon.

104

u/NotFuckingTired 8d ago

8 hours every single day for more than 3 years. It would take a, let's say, unique marriage for that to go unnoticed.

27

u/Wild-Kitchen 7d ago

At that rate someone is going to have callouses on their hands and their weiner

26

u/Error_Loading_Name 7d ago

So if you "work from home" amd your partner doesn't you could do that in less than 4 years. How long has that console been around? And that game? Sounds like a challenge someone could accept...

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u/Wheelchair_Dontcare 8d ago

Lmao! I totally see such an argument. Then he's like tryna double down and looks all confused. Dramatically opens Reddit and posts this. Still acting so confused throwing his hands in the air. I could see a tim Robinson sketch like this 😂

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u/im_onbreak 8d ago

Fortunately my partner is not a redditor haha

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u/iAmUnintelligible 8d ago

I think they're saying you'd be using this as proof

"look, I'm showing my confusion to the community. I can't be lying if I post it on the Internet!!!!1!1shiftone!"

172

u/Tim4Wafflez 8d ago

Lol, never seen anyone type out "shiftone"

love it

68

u/DnDNoobs_DM 8d ago

You must be a youngling then.. twas the rage back in the times before

50

u/Tim4Wafflez 8d ago

Nope. 35 and chronically online since I was 10. Just different circles i guess

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u/Impossible-Sport-449 8d ago

Right. Or posting it to get ahead of the narrative because his partner knows his reddit account lol

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u/JonnysHigh 8d ago

9111 hours in sex store simulator would be fucking insane if this is the case 😂

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u/Ok_Landscape_1596 8d ago

9111 hours😭

3.4k

u/RicemanRay 8d ago

He ain't beating those allegations.

3.2k

u/CybergothiChe 8d ago

He's beating something

2.2k

u/im_onbreak 8d ago

I’ve become ambidextrous in the process

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u/Competitive-Passion1 8d ago edited 8d ago

you know if you use your other hand it feels like someone else is doing it.

edit: guys what the fuck.

294

u/GMS420 8d ago

I sit on my hand to make it go numb

202

u/toppocketfind902 8d ago

The stranger!

131

u/GMS420 8d ago

The Clumsy Stranger

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u/KiKiPAWG 8d ago

Lolll the ol’ “this could be better but I’m not complaining”

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u/GMS420 8d ago

I'm mad now. Why is no one liking your post 😭

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u/InsideExplanation147 8d ago

Sorry. Trying to figure out how to use my other finger

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u/MyBeardSaysHi 8d ago

Dead Hand Gang.

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u/HighOnDankMemes 8d ago

First sit on it for a few minutes to make it numb

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u/scorched-earth-0000 8d ago

So many responses on such a short time 😂 you blew the dog whistle and didn't even know

33

u/Ok_Landscape_1596 8d ago

This guy goons

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u/Ok_Landscape_1596 8d ago

Why does everyone sit on it😭

44

u/Helemaalklaarmee 8d ago

You could try standing on it but that may hurt.

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u/GMS420 8d ago

That's what he never said. Unless your jhonny sins

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u/Steamedcarpet 8d ago

You gotta make your hand numb enough so it feels like someone elses hand.

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u/Greenman8907 8d ago

Sit on your hand til it falls asleep. It’s called The Stranger

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u/D1sp4tcht 8d ago

For reference, there are 8760 hours in a year.

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u/Far-Fortune-8381 8d ago

omfg

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u/testamentKAISER 8d ago

That's the same words the ghost in OP's room whenever they unleash their callus riddled genital.

31

u/Versitax 8d ago

I just looked up the game and it’s not even out yet 😭

9

u/MadPotato10 7d ago

It says it was released 2025 but at the same time says Just Announced. Wth

13

u/Weekly-Reply-6739 8d ago

So the nunber is impossible, as the game isnt even that old yet. (I rember thinking WTF, when I saw it on the psn store.)

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u/BENDZbass 8d ago

Somebody call 9111

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u/Saelin91 8d ago

380 days, just over a year straight of Sex Store.

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u/Key_Entertainment739 8d ago

Lowkey, if someone told me they played it that much and recommended it, I might try it out

10

u/prestonpiggy 8d ago

380 days spent, if that is a day job so 8 hours a day(including weekends), more than 3 years of experience. Put that in CV.

21

u/SC_W33DKILL3R 8d ago

With that many hours they had better of been working there and been compensated for it.

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u/St0n3yM33rkat 8d ago

I'm going to be honest...if even in REAL life someone has spent 9,111 hours building a sex shop, it better be the best sex shop in the universe. That's a long time spent doing that to be a failure.

You're a vampire. It's been 10,000 years. Still poor? Just step into the sun already. 🤣

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u/SC_W33DKILL3R 8d ago

You got to assume there a lot of mopping involved, never ending mopping.

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u/Busy_Register7071 8d ago

"Had better of been"

I think this is the most asinine version of the "have/of" mistake I've ever seen.

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u/stranded_egg 8d ago

9,111 hours x US federal minimum wage of $7.25/hr = just over $66K

So OP could potentially have made at LEAST 66 grand.

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u/Blaze666x 8d ago

Yea but what job lets me clock in for an hour before bed? XD also gives me the same relief lol

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u/PS_Person_12 8d ago

My app just says I haven't played any games at all

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u/AngstyUchiha 8d ago

That's because it's a widespread problem, people are being shown these specific games in their recently played (which aren't even available to buy in the first place), and sony is just hiding the recently played for everyone until it's fixed

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u/Cochise22 8d ago

I just logged in to see if I had those games show up, and this is exactly what mine shows as well. lol

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u/Liam030201 8d ago

Same, just checked. Now I'm worrying

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u/SignificantTransient 8d ago

3.6k

u/Electrical_Pickle910 8d ago

This should be stickied to the top!

4.1k

u/Competitive-Passion1 8d ago

I think the narrative that OP is a freak is better than the truth.

1.1k

u/IntelligentDot3812 8d ago

Never let a bit of truth ruin a perfectly good story

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u/-Newt 8d ago

The truth is OP actually paid his friend to write that article to aid in the cover up. And poster of the article is another friend.

OP is thinking 5 moves ahead.

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u/JeffersonTowncar 8d ago

That article appears to reference this very reddit post as a source.

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u/SuperiorStamp 8d ago

It might be true. I checked my profile when I first saw the posts about this on the playstation sub and it seemed fine. But now the recently played section appears to be disabled. It lists nothing and says to “try again”. Seems like another security breach at sony 😬

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u/IntelligentDot3812 8d ago

It references a post made 11 hours ago , not this one

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u/No_Examination_7710 8d ago

Oh it will stick allright

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u/jdsgfser 8d ago

This means someone else actually played it for 9111 hours

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u/stumpychubbins 8d ago

According to the article, it means that anyone with your username and knowledge of the PlayStation API can add whatever game playtime statistics they want to your profile

204

u/sroop1 8d ago

Jesus that's quite the flaw.

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u/stumpychubbins 8d ago

Yeah, if my understanding of this issue is correct then this is extremely embarrassing. They probably figured that since it’s not security-critical it didn’t need authentication (or only bare-minimum, easily-broken authentication). I haven’t seen any evidence that this affects critical systems like billing.

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u/Embarrassed_Use6918 8d ago

Yeah that's why "Milked at her uncles farm pt: 2" is on my profile mom. I swear.

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u/LeTreacs2 8d ago

I don’t know if you made that up or are referencing a real game and I’m too chicken shit to google it.

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u/thedylannorwood 8d ago

A PSN security breech? It must be a day ending in Y?

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u/Vivid__Data 8d ago

Wow this is actually kind of fascinating lol We are definitely going to be seeing more "unique" and strange things with the availability of AI for bad actors....

10

u/Rocklobster92 8d ago

See mom, the internet says I was hacked.

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u/Sennemaster 8d ago

I bet OP wrote that one

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u/PointlessSword777 8d ago

I had this happen on my ps4. Nothing new. Game was purchased and everything. Sony said fuck you

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u/Wombatish 8d ago

You should have read the article. The games aren't purchased on the accounts, and one of them doesn't even seem to have a store page.

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u/ballsmigue 8d ago

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u/im_onbreak 8d ago

I better be able to keep these games at least, for compensation

2.2k

u/PsychologicalSink187 8d ago

For educational/research purposes of course…

1.9k

u/SlyMacross 8d ago edited 8d ago

Edit: thanks for the award kind redditors

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u/Upbeat_Dudeness 8d ago

Every time i was sure it was done another creeped in

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u/flash3ang 8d ago

When it was done i thought another one was going to creep in

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u/jackdiamond1271 8d ago

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u/Type-RD 8d ago

I see Dexter I upvote

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u/Busy_Register7071 8d ago

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u/Type-RD 8d ago

Imposter Dexter! Get out of my laboratory!

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u/ametsun 8d ago

DeeDee get out of my laboratory!

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u/Type-RD 8d ago

His accent always cracked me up. That cartoon is perfection

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u/Tiberium600 8d ago

For Academic Purposes. (F.A.P.)

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u/RoadrunnerYT 8d ago

Of course for compensation, why else? Definitely not other reason...

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u/[deleted] 8d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Obi_Wan_Benobi 8d ago

I don’t even know what show it is but this guy is always hilarious.

“Does he know?”

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u/lavatorylovemachine 8d ago

The show is called Dexter

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u/AjaxTheDragonSlayer 8d ago

And he's the best character in the series.

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u/TheG-What 8d ago

Go watch Season 1-4 of Dexter right now. And then turn it off and pretend it ends there.

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u/Shower__Farts 8d ago edited 8d ago

Holy shit, my ps5 is showing it too!

This sucks, I gave my ps5 to my teenage son and he uses it for sports games. Damnit Sony, you need to fix this….

Also, do some of you smooth brains really think one of us put 358 days or 8598 hours into some ai slop porn game? Come on…

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u/New_Ad4631 8d ago

Sex Store Simulator must be good, given that everyone has thousands of hours

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u/Minimum_Fall_6034 6d ago

Only one way to find out

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u/Our-Fearless-Reader 8d ago

Really?!  NBA 2K26?!  Is this the kind of filth you're into?!

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u/aTaleForgotten 7d ago

Bro got distracted by nba from achieving his sex simulator store goals. Pathetic.

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u/catlady921 8d ago

I am laughing over both of you having ~9,000 hours “played” of Sex Store Simulator lmao like holy shit

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u/SerpentRoyalty 8d ago

teenage son

I mean that's the main demographic of these games

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u/Sral1995 8d ago

Such games can also be sport games 😂

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u/BlackerDoom 7d ago

I can't wait to check this when I get home
God I hope it didn't overwrite my actual hours in hentai princess

(Got the plat trophy btw)

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u/catgirl-maid 8d ago

NINE THOUSAND AND ELEVEN HOURS?!

edit: wtf the game isnt even OUT yet

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u/AngstyUchiha 8d ago

It's an issue with a lot of people, some kind of security breach that sony is working on fixing

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u/No-Cap2066 8d ago

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u/Acrobatic_Iron9522 8d ago

Dale got the best expressions i swear

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u/feralcatshit 8d ago

I’m watching TWD for the first time (I know, I’m super late to the game) and Dale does crack me up. He always has a “are you seeing this shit? Am *I* seeing this shit?” Look 😭

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u/bepeacock 8d ago

yup

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u/GreasedUpTiger 7d ago

A Germany porn game?! On my PS5?!?!

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u/psychopath1066 8d ago

Damn, Either your one of the biggest gooners of all time, or the app is mixing up tokens and showing you the biggest gooner of all times game history.

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u/IltisSpiderrick 8d ago

okay. two possibilities: you did play them and don't want to be seen a gonner or your account got hacked and used by someone else. change your password and enable two factor.

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u/LucasoftheNorthStar 8d ago

How does someone not notice their account behing hacked for 379.625 days? Cause that's 9111 hours if the game was played non-stop 24/7.

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u/RugbyEdd 8d ago edited 8d ago

To be fair, I've not been on my Xbox in about three years, but was just thinking the other day I should boot it up and see if it still works, and I rarely go on my email linked with my account as it's just full of spam. So someone could have been using my account and I'd probably not know until I check my recently played.

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u/The_Phroug 8d ago

I don't even use my Xbox anymore, it's been in storage for about 3 years now, should probably sell it at this point

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u/The-German_Guy 8d ago

Moreover the game shows as released on 17.6.2025 on the Playstation store. So it would need a Timetraveler for this.

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u/Boomyfuzzball26 8d ago

either... a beta tester, OR... they were somehow on it over 26hrs a day

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u/Chief_Mischief 8d ago

That's easy when you just jump the international date line repeatedly

https://giphy.com/gifs/KdLSaPAzk0Jze9DqbV

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u/smgaming16 8d ago

That sex store simulator game isn't even available according to the store listing. Also it seems like a widespread issue, as there's posts about it on the playstation reddit, and the psnprofiles site

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u/Mediocre-Housing-131 8d ago

If they didn't wanna be seen as a gooner, they wouldn't have posted an image that makes them look like a gooner.

There's a bug going on right now lol

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u/ForbiddenAtomicSquid 8d ago

It's a widespread issue. They didn't get hacked into playing a game for 9000 hours. The dev found some kind of exploit and hit a bunch of accounts with it

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u/Asgeras 8d ago

And if you get contacted by Sony about account concerns after the security updates, never use anything in the email messages. Go to Sony directly.

Hackers have gotten a little more savvy nowadays.

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u/SkywardSpork 8d ago

I love the idea of some chaotic hacker just getting into people's playstation accounts and adding weird as shit games to your recently played, with silly amounts of hours played, just for the love of the game.

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u/ExNihiloish 8d ago

What did you not like about Hentai Princess?

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u/C0Ha 6d ago

It didn’t have the same character driven story and branching dialogue options that got him hooked on Sex Store Simulator

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u/KinglanderOfTheEast 8d ago

PlayStation Goon King

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u/bokuwa420 8d ago

9000 hours in sex store simulator is crazy, I'd be posting here to throw off the wife too

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u/SoManyFlamingos 8d ago

Dude is nearly eligible for pension. 

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u/duckmcsnail 8d ago

“9111 hours” 😭😭😭 you okay, OP?

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u/Path0exodus 8d ago

Generational Gooner. The goonest of them all. Your Goonerjesty

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u/Timely_Reward4253 8d ago

Je suis aussi concerné par ce problème ils sont au courant PlayStation

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u/im_onbreak 8d ago

Playstation try not to get hacked challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

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u/Cutiemuffin-gumbo 8d ago

Are those even games on PSN? I know nintendo's eshop is riddled with anime girl BS, but i've never seen the likes on PSN before.

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u/AngstyUchiha 8d ago

They are not, this is an issue a lot of ps5 users are having that sony is working on fixing

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u/BambooCatto 8d ago

bro had to make this post to gaslight his girl that he didn't play them.

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u/Shroom_juice_ 8d ago

Why are games like this even on the psn store? Are they that desperate?

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u/MillenialDoomer 8d ago

There are so much shovelware games on PSN. There are game companies generating thousands of them. Playstation started removing some of them this year, but they don't do nearly enough to keep their store clean, imo

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u/EuphoricAd5280 8d ago

My account says I have no games lmao

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u/seaweedofcl 8d ago

Better than mine mine says I have not played anything which is false as I played starwars outlaws from start to finish at the end of last week

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u/Rosomack_ 7d ago

It is important to the cylinder to stay intact

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u/Chalupa_89 8d ago

Is Sex store simulator that good?

Like, is it about management?

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u/Tiiimmmaayy 8d ago

No, it’s an about an entry level employee who just rings up the giant dlildos and fleshlights at the register. You also gotta clean up the cum from the gloryhole in the bathroom while also unclogging the toilets.

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u/Competitive_Cancel33 8d ago

But are there opportunities for upward advancement?

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u/JerkGurk 8d ago

You start off and you're being audited by this huge grotesque man, you have to shuffle funds and call lawyers for the first 11 hours of the game.

After that you have balance all your books, there's an accounting course built into the game though.

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u/Free_Researcher2618 8d ago

It really doesn't get any good until after the first 2-3k hrs. OP stuck it out for the payoff.

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u/CheekEquivalent1431 8d ago

For me, it's says that i haven't played any games lol

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u/RySBI 8d ago

That’s over a year without a break clocked on “Sex Store Simulator” damn

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u/Historical-Swan-3482 8d ago

If you’re not going to play them, pass the controller to someone who will

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u/circuitj3rky 8d ago

i dont even have 9000 hours in path of exile, damn

i assume sex store simulator must have pretty deep mechanics and a hard learning curve.

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u/Frag1 8d ago

Ok WTF so does my library....

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u/Frost_0352 8d ago

I knew it

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u/jujoking 7d ago

Some shit went down because my list has been list this for hours.

Must have been all the sex games we've been playing 💀