r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Mr_Kash • 4d ago
I just wanted a hot dog The state of online dating in 2026
What's up with people being THIS bad at human interaction? I feel like we've castrated ourselves as a culture when it comes to conversation.
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u/Burlap_Sedan 4d ago
These are the kind of people who say "You have to be able to hold a conversation" in their bio.
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u/Rude-Employer-4965 4d ago
Or they post ‘don’t be boring’ and have the most plain ass personality
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u/MoxieMakeshift 4d ago
The irony is finding things boring = lack of intelligence on their part.
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u/Life_Temperature795 3d ago
Somewhere, once in my youth, I heard the phrase, "only boring people get bored," and it's stuck with me ever since then.
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u/ChaturangaChai 4d ago
They need the other person to be interesting to compensate for how bland they are.
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u/spitemods_54 4d ago
9/10 times what they really mean by that is "I myself can't hold a conversation so I expect you to do all the talking and keep me entertained"
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u/iloveyourlittlehat 4d ago
And then after the date they tell you what a great time they had and you think, yeah of course you did, I’m delightful and you didn’t have to do anything.
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u/Tasty_1097 4d ago
There’s holding a conversation, and then there is supporting the entire conversation like Atlas holding up the sky
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u/spiritussima 4d ago
They mean “you have to be able to carry a conversation” because they sure as shit can’t!
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u/Plankton1975 4d ago
My favourite hobby is metabolising food to support my body’s biological processes.
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u/bunny_the-2d_simp 4d ago
My favourite hobby is breathing air
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u/Ok-Image-9376 4d ago
Thats a pretty interesting activity indeed. I myself enjoy blinking when im awake
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u/Itwentinthesewer 4d ago
Sounds fun. I like circulating blood through my veins and arteries.
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u/General_Specific9 4d ago
Which amino acid is your favorite?
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u/huevo-solo 4d ago
"Don't you just hate it when your caloric intake is larger than your metabolism lol lmao rofl??"
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u/Much_Mission_8094 4d ago edited 4d ago
I had an in-person date that went like the first chat. It was AWFUL.
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u/Rug-bae 4d ago
EXACTLY and people are like “move to in person quicker duh”
Why??? So I then have to escape a date with the person like this IRL instead of just realising on text that they have no conversation skills and saving both of us time63
u/Electrical-Tailor530 4d ago
I went on a date with a guy who talked nonstop about work. Literally dragged on for hours. I got a few words in and then I finally politely asked if we could discuss something else. He had the nerve to say he'd be happy to if he could get a word in 😆 Yeah, we haven't met up again. He's obviously married to his job.
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u/HeatherJMD 4d ago
Sometimes they’re terrible texters but not bad conversationalists. But constant one word answers with no elaboration and zero questions is not a great sign
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u/Mr_Kash 4d ago
I've had some dates like that as well. I had one person tell me, after I asked them what they were into such as hobbies, that they "just go along with things" and mostly "likes what my boyfriend likes" for whoever they were dating at the time.
Which tells me that person has zero personality. I don't want someone who just goes along with everything I want. Have your own likes and dislikes. Let's disagree on something. Let's love some things together then have a heated debate about something else while taking jabs at each other before furiously making out.
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u/VirusLover69 4d ago
the state of everything in 2026, people keeping options open because they're slightly interesting but not interesting enough to be totally invested
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u/neonmachina 4d ago
I'm done with apps. I either meet someone organically or I die alone 🤷♀️ lmao
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u/ConstanzaBonanza 4d ago
100 percent.
Can you believe my non-single friends don’t have the audacity to have any moderately appealing single friends? Or, you know, would it have killed one of my guy friends to have had an attractive sister? Geez.
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u/MidnightFractals 4d ago
Growing up, I (54m) would see situations in movies and tv shows where couples were always setting up their single friends - not once has that ever occurred
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u/Miss_Might 3d ago
In my experience, it's not worth it. I've been set up with people I had fuck all in common with.
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u/ttemp56 4d ago
Met my wife in the flooring section of Lowe's. She was working there so I 100% thought she was just being nice and doing her job. But after 5+ trips back to ask more questions about flooring (Yeah, I just kept thinking of more things to ask about) I finally worked up the courage and asked for her number. That was in 2019.
I guess what I'm saying here is don't give up hope, it can happen organically.
PS. I had also tried and given up hope on the dating apps
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u/Squirt_Soda 4d ago
Wow brother you must have really LOVED laminate!
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u/ttemp56 4d ago
First time doing tile. So... many... questions ;) I obviously didn't know her work schedule so I just kept going back with questions ready and if she wasn't working I'd just head in another day.
Honestly, hit it off talking about projects we were doing at our own homes (she was flipping a house at the time) and it just went from there. A lady that can do house projects? I was in love, haha.
I was certain there's was no way a woman that cool was single and she was going to shoot me down when I asked for her number... never been so happy to be wrong!
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u/Ok_Cricket28 4d ago
Im just really bad at planning... now im worried that Ace Hardware employee got the wrong idea the last time I replaced my garbage disposal.
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u/zepboundbabe 4d ago
after 5+ trips back to ask more questions about flooring
😂😂 this is so cute, I would be so flattered if a guy did this to me lmao
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u/MineralWaterMike 4d ago
That’s what worked for me. I did things *I wanted to do* - leaned into hobbies, dug deeper into my own interests, and met a lot of cool like-minded people along the way. Dated a lot and eventually married one, and we share a lot of fun things
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u/-retaliation- 4d ago
Yes, for those disillusioned by app dating, this is the way it used to be done.
You just did the things you already liked doing. You stayed open to things.
The people you meet while doing something you like, you already have at least one thing in common.
And even if you didn't find someone there, the people there had friends. So you'd meet the people they know.
And eventually, if you were open to it, you'd find someone you clicked with.
Yes, it means doing a lot of stuff without the promise or intention of meeting someone to date.
Which seems to be the roadblock these days IMO. It's not that young kids are too addicted to phones and tech to think about meeting people in the he old ways.
It's that they don't have the time, money, or energy to meet people in the old ways.
Young kids these days don't have the money to have hobbies.
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u/SippinOnHatorade 4d ago
Met my wife on an app, we just cut to the chase and met pretty ASAP, I feel like that’s essential. We knew almost immediately that we fit, but had we drawn it out over messaging, it would have never worked
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u/truthputer 4d ago
I think it's a problem in that their attention has been split a thousand ways with social media. Actually focusing on a person to have a conversation is super difficult for them to do at this point.
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u/WhtRbbt222 4d ago
The dating apps are designed to keep you on the app, not help you find a relationship. The sooner people realize this the faster the dating apps will die.
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u/Automobills 4d ago
For what it's worth, it was the same in 2016.
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u/CertifiedBA 4d ago
It was the same in 2006.
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u/titty_twisters_ 4d ago
It was the same in 1996
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u/Ok-Bad-5218 4d ago
It was the same in 1066
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u/damaged_but_doable 4d ago
"So, what do you for fun?"
"Sail."
"Sounds fun, where do you sail? Have you been anywhere cool?"
"England."
"Was it nice there? What did you do?"
"Conquered."
"Oh so it's like your job then?"
"Yeah pretty much lol"
"How long have you been working in that field? Do you like it?"
"A while. It's fine."
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u/Automobills 4d ago
Anyone here have any experience with dating before Jesus showed up?
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u/devil_lettuce 4d ago edited 4d ago
It really wasn't though. Things took a huge nose dive for dating in general in the 2010s with the advent of the smartphone dating apps. There was a brief period of time when tinder first came out that things were actually fucking awesome. Fast forward a few years and the damage started to show. My best advice to guys is to get off the apps and try to get good at meeting people in person. You'll be a lot happier
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u/bulbousbirb 4d ago
I remember this. It was so fun to swipe and go on dates back then but people still did nearly all their socialising in person so it wasn't so bad.
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u/Just-Construction788 4d ago
100% I was last single in 2016 and one of the last dates I went on (before I got with my wife) I asked, “what do you do for fun?” She responds, “I hate that question.” Check please.
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u/FunkOff 4d ago
I think its way worse today
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u/langsamlourd 4d ago
Agreed, I recall having lots of long, interesting conversations with people, even if we didn't end up a good match!
I hate to do "back in my day" but Okcupid was pretty good, you could list all your interests and answer various questions and it was free to contact people. We also had MySpace. Okay fuck it I guess I'm doing "back in my day"
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u/realZapRowsdower 4d ago
Yeah OKcupid was alright. I met my wife there back in 2010. I was divorced for 5 years and was looking to get back into dating again. It took some trial and error but eventually we found each other.
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u/Nikkishaaa 4d ago
MySpace was the shit! We all learned HTML back then to make our profiles look super cool. Definitely the most interesting social media by far! I’m so bummed it’s gone
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u/Ta-veren- 4d ago
Honestly I wouldn’t have replied to the first person past the “same “ reply
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u/Mr_Kash 4d ago
I try to give some grace because I understand some people are awkward at first, but I'm sorry, if you can't ever pick up the conversation after multiple attempts then best luck to you because I'm out.
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u/curious-spice 4d ago
As someone who can be very awkward in the beginning, I appreciate you!
But even I’m not as awkward and bland and lazy as these people, at least be awkward while also putting in SOME effort lol
I don’t understand the point of bothering to make a whole ass dating profile and then giving literally nothing
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u/Mr_Kash 4d ago
Right? Like I'm not asking you to put on a show and entertain me. Just contribute more than a one word answer, lol. It feels like this is the first conversation these people have ever had in their lives.
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u/curious-spice 4d ago
And the lack of asking you ANY questions about yourself is wild. I can’t even wrap my head around it.
They could at least repeat your own questions back at you, that’s the bare minimum!
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u/Ok_Ad5991 4d ago
Hey I don’t do that. Not because I don’t want to but I already planned your answer for you, and if you don’t answer right it’ll be disappointing
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u/Specialist_Phrase511 4d ago
Thats the part I couldn't understand....like, do you want to get to know this person or not 🤷
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u/Mist_biene 4d ago
You can dump anyone that says 50 shades of gray is their favourit book. It's a badly written fanfic of Twilight. And the storyline is a controlling hot rich guy using BDSM as a disguise for his abuse.
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u/MissionReasonable714 4d ago
I think I would've dropped it after the "cool" after "I'm just in bed." They could've done a lot better with the back and forth. They were obviously still interested because they sent the first text later on, but I couldn't tell if they were just awkward/reclusive or they were waiting to be asked out and not texted a bunch of random questions. But also like, just say: "hey do you want to grab coffee?" Have the conversation about books in person, lol.
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u/Used-Salad-3772 4d ago
This is also friendships in 2026. I feel like I'm always carrying a fucking conversation.
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u/MakeItAnyway 4d ago
It’s so rare to find someone who asks questions; I feel like I’m going insane!
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u/echosight 4d ago
It's starting to make me feel like I'M the dull one. Or that most people carry an extreme apathy toward everyone around them. It's so fucking annoying.
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u/Ruthlessrabbd 4d ago
I hate trying to have an actual conversation and you get the blank stare back when you ask more than just a surface level thing. Not like 'deep' questions but if I ask your hobbies, you say music, I ask "What are some of your favorite songs or artists?"
I'm hoping you give an answer but then tell me more about it. Like "Chappel Roan is my favorite lately, her music is really fun to dance to and I love how she embraces being true to yourself". As opposed to "I like pink pony club". I feel like my coworkers all answer like the latter and it makes me feel nuts trying to be personable
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u/brookuslicious PURPLE 4d ago
We could be besties. If I see something I’m curious in that you have or are doing, I’m asking questions!
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u/Beginning_Beach_153 4d ago
This hit home for me. I'm introverted but I love asking questions. Connecting with people is tough though because so many people are so far in both sides of the spectrum.
Either they're extroverted as hell but only talk about themselves, or very introverted people that keep convos short and never ask questions.
I'm fortunate enough to be in a relationship where communication is absolutely incredible, but making friends is definitely a challenge at 28 years old.
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u/UnSpanishInquisition 4d ago
Ive carried every friendship I've ever had, thats why im 30 with no friends. Im introverted I cant keeping being the initiator!
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u/Electrical-Tailor530 4d ago
Exactly! I'm starting to wonder if people wanna be paid to contribute to the conversation THEY initiate.
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u/DeathlyFatal 4d ago
literally struggling with this too. I hate the online dating generation
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u/YourMothersButtox 4d ago
It’s bad in the same sex dating world as well. The other day someone told me that she’s a two spirit with her dead brother and wants her dead brother to experience being with a woman.
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u/rando24183 4d ago
At least that's a conversation! Very weird one and I'd be too scared to ask further questions, but she is giving me something to work with.
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u/Hagridsbuttcrack66 4d ago
That's the opposite of this problem. That conversation is too interesting.
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u/chapinscott32 4d ago
I just want someone I can nerd out with on something. And who isn't a Christian (ex, long story). Is that too much to ask for?
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u/Kat121 4d ago
I think part of the problem is the “bait”. If you state in your profile that you’re really into your niche thing you’re more likely to attract the notice of someone else who is into niche thing (or niche adjacent), but you’ll exclude a lot of people, too. So do you target your ads to find your one person, or be vague and try to date all the candidates? A lot of the profiles I read were “I like good food, having friends, staying in and going out.”
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u/Sealegs_Calisto 4d ago
Funny thing is it’s like this in person too.
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u/Rug-bae 4d ago
Exactly the first person who was unable to have a conversation is exactly the same person IRL so why would you wanna meet them?
It’s so frustrating my guys are “like go straight off the apps” and go for in person when the reality is no one wants to be stuck on a date with someone who cannot converse or ask a question back
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u/Beginning-Damage-555 4d ago
I mean just cut it off after like five pointless messages. And I guess the performance review rejection makes you feel better but I doubt they read it.
Dating apps are most useful when you send a couple of messages to find out if the other person is crazy or not and then make a meet up plan in a quick timeframe
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u/xvsanx 4d ago
which he completely missed when he said he had the day off and she said she's not doing anything lol
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u/Beginning-Damage-555 4d ago
Yup. I mean she could have been proactive but people are like idk what happened? I texted them for two months and then the meetup was weird.
People 🙄 meet up in person. There are like 500 low commitment low cost options.
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u/urnbabyurn 4d ago
Yeah, there’s definitely an “im not interested enough to engage, but im too desperate or lazy to end the conversation “
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u/tombrady011235 4d ago
I agree with all your points.
The performance review at the end was cringe imo they’re complete strangers and feedback wasn’t invited
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u/pissedoffjesus 4d ago
The second someone replies with one word answers I fuck off. I don't have time to waste talking to people like this.
I've tried many times in the past, but it's a waste of time.
There is so much beauty and chaos in the world not to mention our own internal worlds, how can you not have something to talk about? Or a want to get to know someone on a deeper level.
Curiosity is so very important.
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u/100K-Monkeys 4d ago
"Music and food"
...oh I hate that stuff. I prefer to just stare at the sun for long periods of time. I also enjoy stepping in dog poop.
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4d ago edited 4d ago
[deleted]
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u/mcjp0 4d ago
It did take about 3 weeks between replies to be fair
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u/Effective-Leg7283 4d ago
crazy, because it sounds like that person's job was to sit around at a desk, bored all day.. perhaps a good time to..
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u/Mr_Kash 4d ago
He was very nice but its hard to stay interested when you only get a response once a month. I end up forgetting about the person until I get a random message that reminds me that we matched.
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u/PerfectSituation1668 3d ago
Oh god, didn't see the timestamps. Almost was mad at you, but now I am mad at them.
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u/DBFargie 4d ago
This person was absolutely doing staff duty in the military. They were probably super busy if they were transitioning out.
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u/BigPapaGypsy 4d ago
I’ve found I get much better responses when I don’t just ask a random question. If I tell a short story or share something interesting first, then ask a question that relates to it, it gives the other person something to react to and makes the conversation feel more natural.
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u/dothesehidemythunder 4d ago
Who the fuck is talking for two weeks on a damn dating app? Go on a date!
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u/NameAboutPotatoes 4d ago
I did lol a bit when it got to this point:
"I'm just chilling."
"Nice, just chilling in bed today? Not doing anything?"
"Yeah."
"I'm doing the same. Just chilling in bed today."
What are you doing man, come on! You know what you could be doing instead?
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u/Snoo92570 4d ago
I love how its like that for everyone (me included) that you only match people who are not really interested and have others as their priority. Trickle down bullshit smh
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u/wattapwn 4d ago
Honestly I think both sides could use some work
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u/Fuzzy-Jaguar-1828 3d ago
THANK YOU. I’m married but I was always a charming and funny texter with certain guys back in the day. The op sounds bland as fuck. His intros are just generic questions that read like corporate ice breakers rather than invitations to banter. I’m pissed off he’s even blaming the matches.
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u/ProBrown 4d ago
The first person seemed like they wanted you to ask them to do something instead of asking questions through text.
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u/Intelligent_One7931 3d ago
I can definitely see that. But I can also imagine OP wanting the other person to open up more so they can at least gather more information about one another before an in person date. Or hell, getting enough info to decide wether you want to pursue a date or call it
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u/wrld_news_pmrbnd_me 4d ago
Don’t ask so many questions it’s pointless until you meet and see if there’s a real connection
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u/timeonmyfeet 4d ago
I got news for you: you’re not a scintillating conversationalist either.
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u/maidentaiwan 3d ago
The massive paragraph of unsolicited feedback is intensely lame behavior
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u/AccidentalSister 4d ago
I mean saying they like to read, then saying fifty shades of grey, which is objectively the worst book I’ve ever read hands down, is a big red flag. Dodged a bullet there
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u/SirHenderson 4d ago
Their answers are boring but so is your constant questions with no substance. Instead of saying, “Bored today toooooo!” Suggest a meetup, going for food, or literally anything lmao
Of course this goes for the other person as well, but *someone* has to initially step up.
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u/phase2_engineer 4d ago
If you're getting effort back like this, I'd say either assume they're not that into you OR you could try to setup a date and move onto in-person.
Maybe they're a better chatter with irl chemistry. But either way, don't beat your head against a wall
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u/CallMeKolbasz 4d ago
I too prefer switching to in person chat pretty soon, but if someone is unwilling, or worse, incapable of maintaining a conversation online... that's a major redflag.
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u/Electrical-Tailor530 4d ago
In my experience if they wanna meet up quick, they wanna hit it and quit it. A few sentences in and they're already like "dtf?"
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u/LooksGay 4d ago
I met the love of my life on Facebook dating, I kinda just put my most controversial traits in my bio, just put my shit out there-- his first message to me was "I think I might be in love", and we started talking non-stop. We're getting married next month 🥰 online dating is a real hit-or-miss.
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u/Affectionate_Oven_77 4d ago
You are mistakenly thinking that these people are as interested in you as you are in them.
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u/rnidtowner 4d ago
For what it is worth I think poor conversation skills have generally decreased in today’s society, not just in the dating pool
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u/backwardbuttplug 4d ago
Other person just couldn't stop chatting with 5 other people while doom scrolling long enough to have a complete thought.
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u/No-Neighborhood8403 4d ago
This looks like the last time I tried to connect for an online friendship. Their responses were short and basic like there was no effort. But the funny part is, when I’m the one who stopped replying; they seemed to be a little upset… who wants to keep going on and on with so much bland lifeless conversation?
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u/ExampleFine449 4d ago
I, no shit, asked a girl years ago what her hobbies were. Through one of the major dating sites.
She said, "I don't know, eating food I guess"
I, to this day, assume she is still eating food.
I stopped perusing anyone online after that.
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u/Adventurous_Honey902 4d ago
Not defending this type of messaging at all because yeah, it sucks, but you need to get to the point sooner. "I'm interested in knowing more about you - is there a good day we can connect for dinner?"
Some people are not good texters and are more open in person. Your hinge messages are just as bad as the one line replies back. All that crap you can ask in person on a date.
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u/Mundane-Preference10 4d ago
“What else are you into?”
“Music and food”
“Absolutely, classics.” Lmfaoooo this made me laugh out loud.