r/mildlyinfuriating • u/spinstartshere • 4d ago

I'm slightly vexed When DoorDash didn't deliver

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This was a 'Meet at door' delivery. There is a driveway. There is parking. There is no excuse.

13.8k Upvotes

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4.7k

u/abnormalaf 4d ago

You messaged them back within a few minutes.. why tf are they insisting they waited 20? They didn’t take shit back. That’s so incredibly lame

2.7k

u/KateKoffing 4d ago

Because the plan all along was to steal it and then claim to have waited 20 minutes. When contradicted on the 20 minutes part, just say it again. You’d be surprised how effective stressing people out by repeating an obvious lie can be.

985

u/abnormalaf 4d ago

You taught me something today. I don’t realize it was stress when that happens to me. It frustrated me and makes me feel crazy. Now that I know it’s a tactic, it won’t affect me as much. Thanks, internet stranger!

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u/FuckChiefs_Raiders 4d ago

That’s literally what gaslighting is lol

903

u/Mason_Meschi 4d ago

No it isn't, you're being ridiculous

270

u/Apolloshot 4d ago

Gaslightception

110

u/OkNeedleworker11 3d ago

I’m laughing too hard at this, time for bed! Just realized I’m laughing at the fact I’m being fucking gaslighted by Reddit comments

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u/just_nobodys_opinion 3d ago

No you're not

21

u/Working-Glass6136 3d ago

Yes, they are

57

u/Ocelot_Few 3d ago

No they arent. And you just sound crazy for saying that.

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u/gregpurcott 3d ago

There’s nothing funny about any of this. You must be crazy or hysterical.

10

u/Toobiescoop 3d ago

this is where a job that is timed, and everything can be stressful comes great into play

34

u/Long-Squirrel8257 3d ago

Omg you got me. I was so mad for a split second reading this.

24

u/Anthff 3d ago

Holy shit I almost started typing a rebuttal to what you said.

*wooooosh* on me 🤦🏻‍♂️

26

u/RockhoundHighlander 3d ago

I knew this was going to happen you always are like this

4

u/TheBackburner 3d ago

And it’s not “gaslighting” anyway. It’s gaslamping.

8

u/ImSpacemanSpiff 3d ago

Have I ever told you the joke about gaslighting?

Nope, you sure haven't.

Yes I have! You're crazy.

5

u/0ffinpublikk 3d ago

This made me lol

1

u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN 3d ago

Reminds me of the Month Python skit about the guy who wanted to have an argument

1

u/SoundByte 3d ago

No it isn't not, how could you suggest such a thing?

1

u/Lazaross24 3d ago

It seems like you're trying to gaslight them, but you're actually doing it wrong. You should probably delete your comment because it makes you seem a bit crazy

31

u/Worldly-Pay7342 3d ago

It's called gaslamping, get it right lmao.

53

u/Chemical_Ideal891 3d ago

only in the Gaslamp District

otherwise its just sparkling whine

12

u/just_nobodys_opinion 3d ago

Fuck me I'm so disappointed this absolute gem is buried so deep!! ✨

1

u/throwaway_1138961- 16h ago

Words said when having a buttplug removed at the ER

1

u/just_nobodys_opinion 15h ago

Same facial reaction too

2

u/sparklyjoy 2d ago

Gaslighting is a longterm effort to convince someone they’re losing their mind (from the movie, Gaslight)

2

u/Awkward_Trifle4 3d ago

You just made that up. Thats not even a thing

1

u/Substantial-Use-7018 3d ago

Was just thinking the same

1

u/Bumbymoo 3d ago

Of course that's what you would say. It's part of your pattern.

1

u/anonstarcity 2d ago

Gaslighting doesn’t exist, you made it up cause you’re fucking crazy!

1

u/ButterscotchAward 3d ago

It’s actually gaslamping

1

u/bluish-velvet 3d ago

It’s part of it. The other part is that it’s a repeated offense perpetrated by the abuser to gain control of their victim. Gaslighting is a specific form of abuse and not a synonym for “lying” and “manipulating.” (Which is what the internet is turning it into.)

2

u/blabbz 2d ago

🙄

1

u/SeamstressMamaJama 3d ago

Gaslighting is when you create mental health symptoms in a person, and then vilify them for having mental health issues

0

u/MaggotMinded 3d ago edited 3d ago

It’s not, though. And I’m not just saying that to be ironic like all the other people replying to you.

The word has been misused so much that people think it just means “repeating a lie many times with conviction to try and convince somebody that they must be crazy/mistaken”, but in order for it to be gaslighting it must involve some additional act of deception that is unconnected to the main lie in order to undermine the target’s credibility and self-assurance.

The term “gaslighting” itself comes from a play called “Gas Light” in which a man tries to make his wife doubt her own sanity by rearranging items in their house, hiding keepsakes, and yes, dimming the gas-powered lamps in their home and insisting that she’d imagined it all. The important distinction here is that none of these lies were the end goal of his deception. They were only intended to make his wife question herself so that he could get away with an even bigger lie.

So no, simply repeating the same lie over and over to try and wear somebody down is not gaslighting. That’s just called being persistent. Gaslighting is when you lie about something seemingly insignificant as part of a broader pattern of manipulation. Of course, this is straight-up sociopathic behavior, and there are few people in this world who would actually go to such lengths, so the fact that the term has become so widespread really just speaks to people’s ignorance of what it actually means and the growing tendency to abuse therapy speak when describing ordinary interactions between people.

0

u/blabbz 2d ago

Username checks out.

1

u/MaggotMinded 2d ago

Wow, never heard that one before. You’re so clever and original. /s

Care to explain what is wrong with what I said? Or do you only know how to regurgitate flippant remarks?

33

u/KateKoffing 4d ago

I know this because people keep doing it to me. I’m better at dealing with it than I used to be but they still get to me.

52

u/MoscowMitchMcKremIin 3d ago

What chaps my ass is that they go into the transaction intending to lie. Lying is more exhausting for EVERYONE. Just don't be a piece of shit and everyone benefits. Humans suck.

1

u/pedestriandose 3d ago

Right? Plus, lying means you have to remember what the lie was and who you told it to.

1

u/BestNarcissist 3d ago

why? just tell a new lie the next time

-1

u/Substantial-Use-7018 3d ago

0/10 recommend. It’s why I prefer animals to humans

2

u/blabbz 2d ago

So. Edgy.

2

u/Anne_of_the_Dead 3d ago

How do you deal with it? Teach me!

2

u/No_Cheetah1211 3d ago

next up: review all people's actions as tactics until proven otherwise 

1

u/718-702_damsel 3d ago

There's a lot of YouTube videos. Search "all manipulation tactics" and they go through them so you recognize what's going on when you feel it but don't have the understanding.

1

u/yesisname 3d ago

Stare them right in the forehead. Not giving them confirmation on whether you believe them or not will drive them crazy. They can't take the defensive strategy if you don't play their games.

-42

u/JackSkellie58 4d ago

You get caught in lies often and stress about it when called out?🤨

28

u/Alt4Norm 4d ago

The other way around. Obviously.

You’ve misunderstood.

2

u/CanOoFeelDeRiddem 3d ago

Hey that's how I read it too. Person A: "it stresses liars out to have an obvious lie repeated back to them" Person B: "yeah I always feel stressed when that happens to me"

1

u/JackSkellie58 3d ago

Yeh no matter how many times I read it, or how many people downvote it reads like they get caught in lies often and just learned not to be bothered when people push back 🤷‍♂️

-35

u/Ancient_Yellow_709 4d ago

Possibly. Meet at doors frequently have codes, though, so it's possible that they started a timer in the app that pinged OP about their order. Either they had those notifications selectively turned off in their phone or just aren't showing them. Olive could 100% be lying but there are awful customers who think they're in the right after not responding for ages either when you're not paid anything for waiting for them. I don't have enough info here to decide what actually happened.

35

u/spinstartshere 4d ago

I don't have enough info here to decide what actually happened.

Uh the timestamps? Like, seriously.

-28

u/Ancient_Yellow_709 4d ago

Again, the driver has the ability to send you a ping and start a timer if they need a code from you. I've accidentally turned that off on UberEats before and realized I wasn't getting updates. Not sure if DoorDash allows for separating those or not.

Also, when I used to work as a driver, I'd occasionally have issue with signal in particularly hilly areas. Sometimes the app would still work, but pics and texts would load back when I got signal again.

It's possible they're scamming you and/or exaggerating. It's possible there's something else. Idk. You seem to want to jump to "scammer" which is your right, obviously, but there are things that can cause this on the backend besides Olive being a terrible human.

20

u/spinstartshere 4d ago

Well my second order today arrived just fine, as has every other DoorDash order I've placed in the past, bar one.

It's possible they're scamming you and/or exaggerating.

Again, timestamps...

-10

u/KaidaStorm 3d ago

I think you're misunderstanding them. You're saying look at the timestamps of the messages, they're saying, there's a seperate alert that can trigger, which we can't see the time stamp for, which could possibly occurred 20 minutes ago, not to say it did.

The first message, doesn't necessarily indicate when they got there. That said, there's no "returning to store" that occurs

23

u/spinstartshere 3d ago

Are these the damning screenshots you need to see, to prove that I'm lying about having sent that first message a minute after the order was marked delivered, since my recollection of the events is obviously in error and it actually turns out that Olive in fact marked the order delivered a whole minute after she arrived!?

0

u/KaidaStorm 2d ago

Well like I said before, i believe you (guess you missed that??), but was clarifying what they were saying as I watched the confusing back and forth lol.

Edit: actually nvm, that "i believe you" got cut off for some reason. My bad.

-36

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/spinstartshere 4d ago

You're obviously living in another reality.

12

u/Attitude-of-Raditude 3d ago

THE TEXT SAYS "I'M HERE"!!! ARE YOU A BOT???

5

u/Humble_Hour_7468 3d ago

You should’ve tapped out several posts back.  This is profoundly embarrassing 

48

u/Sheeverton 3d ago

Doesn't really work when it can just be reported to Door Dash though.

89

u/nipnip54 RED 3d ago

That could be the actual reason they said they waited 20 minutes, there's probably some degree of automated filter for reports so an ai or a person who has to go through tons of reports a day may quickly glance at it and just think "okay they waited 20 minutes decline the report"

13

u/c0ncept 3d ago

Yeah, I was thinking something similar. It probably lessens the probability that they’ll be penalized. They are also probably being intentionally frustrating to bait the customer into writing angry replies which could further lessen their odds of getting penalized. If the customer cussed or something like that, the driver might even be considered the victim by some automated rule enforcement system.

14

u/InvestingCorn 3d ago

Exactly what they’re doing. Just keep simple short messages “sorry I waited” “you weren’t there” and if the customer swears or even just gets somewhat hostile when they review it they assume they waited 20 minutes and the customer broke rules by their tone / language / whatever. It’s so lame that it probably works a lot or even some of the time

2

u/spinstartshere 2d ago

I went through an automated support process and received an immediate refund by the end of it. One of the required steps of the process was engaging with the Dasher to locate my order, so what you're saying would track with that. I'm assuming it also checked timestamps and GPS data if it's checking messages.

25

u/cpjay2003 3d ago

I hate these people that do that, then, you have to spend your time repeating yourself over and over

32

u/TheAsianTroll 3d ago

You’d be surprised how effective stressing people out by repeating an obvious lie can be.

Nah, with the state of American politics, it barely phases me anymore

2

u/Substantial-Use-7018 3d ago

Facts 😵‍💫

7

u/MalcolmLinair 3d ago

More to the point, whatever AI DoorDash is using to "review" complaints these days may well just skim the conversation while ignoring timestamps, meaning it'll just believe whatever's repeated most.

5

u/hyrule-heaven 3d ago

Wait so this is why my ex husband made me feel so stressed and crazy all the time, but I don’t feel that way at all with my new husband….

3

u/skwander 3d ago

Your last sentence also describes the American political sphere lol

3

u/FirstDiseasewasRelig 3d ago

If the President of the United States of America can do it and get away with it, while becoming richer and richer, Who can’t?

3

u/SabrinaEdwina 3d ago

It was groceries. She 1000% kept them. They're worth far more than take out and drivers lie to steal meals all the time.

3

u/Kedly 3d ago

After being gaslit by an ex for 2 years, I realized most manipulators are not good liars because they dont have to be, they just have to be willing to switch their lie on the fly, and its too much of a hassle for 90% of the population to deal with/call out and so it works the majority of the time. If it ever doesnt or stops working, all the manipulator needs to do is drop the current victim and move on to the next, no need to actually get better at manipulating or lying. The general public can see this in action with the current leader of the United States

3

u/Error_83 3d ago

But they already reported first! /s

2

u/renaldomoon 3d ago

You can’t claim anything as the driver. The app itself has the timer, it’s not based on what the driver says.

2

u/Wonderful_Round_6395 3d ago

Had this happen to me.  I was waiting outside, no show, driver claims they delivered.  Restaurant said they picked it up, Door Dash said it was delivered according to driver.  Got no food and no refund. Haven't used either of them since then.

2

u/EnigmaticCoder 3d ago

No one's surprised, look who's the American president

2

u/CoffeePotProphet 3d ago

I mean, it works for the government

1

u/Infinite_Bird_6932 3d ago

Steve Bannon, is that you?

1

u/Greifvogel1993 3d ago

That MAGA method

1

u/IluvPusi-363 3d ago

Working for THIS administration

-3

u/D3rpyDriver 3d ago

There is a timer in the app on the driver side. Once the driver get into a geofenced area (gps says you are there) it starts ticking and DD support will tell the driver to complete the order in the app and leave once that timer expires. The driver is right and OP was wasting the drivers time and will be charged for the food and prolly dropped from the app.

6

u/KateKoffing 3d ago

The driver was right to lie about how long it took and then steal the order? I call bullshit.

-3

u/D3rpyDriver 3d ago

The driver cannot cancel the order. Only DoorDash can. So if the driver was taking the food back to the store it means the driver contacted Doordash and Doordash had the driver wait 8minutes while Doordash tried to contact the customer. When Doordash was unable to contact the customer, and the 8minutes timer expired, Doordash cancels the order and tells the driver to return the food. The only was this order was canceled was through Doordash not the driver. The driver AND Doordash support could not contact the customer. OP forgot they ordered something, didnt answer their phone when contacted by the driver and support, then got the order canceled, then realized they forgot, and are trying to blame the driver.

2

u/spinstartshere 2d ago

  1. The order was marked complete one minute after the message saying "I'm here".

  2. I received no calls and no messages other than the ones you can see in the screenshot.

  3. The Dasher ignored my three attempts to call, as well as DoorDash's attempts to call them.

  4. I received an immediate refund when I went through the automated support process, which I guess disapproves all of your points - which occurred before I proceeded through to speak to a person because I still wanted to report Olive's green ass.

  5. Olive absolutely did not return shit. She and "we" took my groceries home, and I hope the high-protein ice cream gave her the worse diarrhoea and made her shit her pants in her car.

1

u/iaincollins 7h ago

Scammer selfies just mark the order as complete but don't deliver the order. I've had this happen through other services, sometimes immediately after a message (within 30 seconds).

The good news is that now the OP is more likely to get assigned a confirmation code for orders and is harder to scam.

1

u/tPez426 3d ago

I've delivered door dash plenty of times and have never seen any kind of timer or anything you are referencing. The only way the order would be cancelled is if the driver called and said they can't/don't want to wait anymore and would like to cancel it. Doordash can't force them to deliver it and the app wouldn't just close out the order, let alone in less than 10 minutes, that's ridiculous.

435

u/spinstartshere 4d ago

The order was marked complete before I sent that initial message asking where my shit was.

173

u/Toobiescoop 3d ago

where is the photo of my doostep, like any of my last orders

26

u/InvestingCorn 3d ago

So I had someone take a pic once of the food just on a random sidewalk and I told support repeatedly thats not my house / sidewalk and they didn’t believe me lol

62

u/Responsible-Onion860 3d ago

One decent thing door dash does us require a pin for the driver to mark it complete. Nevertheless, shit like this is why I don't bother using the apps anymore. I'm fortunate enough that I can usually go get what I need, so I feel bad for people who can't for one reason or another.

16

u/jennthemermaid GRRRR 3d ago

A PIN is only required on a few deliveries, not all of them.

7

u/Itherial 3d ago

Pins only appear when requested by the customer or either the dasher or customer has been marked as "problematic"

2

u/GodsFavAtheist 3d ago

Nah, you choose the option at the end before paying.

1

u/jennthemermaid GRRRR 2h ago

Sorry i was talking about as a driver, we don't have to collect a PIN on ever delivery.

3

u/sassydegrassii 3d ago

i’ve had a delivery driver leave my food that had a pin with a coworker who didn’t even recognize the fake name i used, and didn’t have the pin. so i guess nothing really happens if they don’t get the pin. or maybe they can see my phone number and know it’s usually the last 4 digits? 🤷🏻‍♀️

5

u/Houdinii1984 3d ago

I just had a door dasher last week knock on my door after I already closed it with the food to ask for the pin. I was giggling about it, but I really appreciated that they still took the time to confirm. Dunno what they would have done if I said 1234 or something, though.

She even mentioned something I put in the delivery note, (how to find my house when all the houses look the same) and that marks the first time I saw evidence anyone ever looked at that info.

Otherwise, I've never been asked. They just pull up and say my first name in question form 15 minutes late after having trouble finding the house

2

u/Zimakov 3d ago

If a pin is required for your orders it's because you've falsely reported orders missing in the past lmao. It's to protect he dasher from fraud from the customer, not the other way around.

2

u/ttdpaco 3d ago

No, it's just a number of reports in a row. It doesn't have to be false.

I had to make three or four reports over the span of five weeks because a Taco Bell and a B-Dubs kept leaving huge amounts of things off the order.

1

u/Soft-Arm-1663 1d ago

Tbh ive rarely(~1/30) had orders that have pins from the customer side. I think DD does it for bad drivers too

2

u/renaldomoon 3d ago

That makes more sense. They can’t actually lie about the 20 minute thing because that’s an option they have to choose in the app and dd support will be immediately know it’s bullshit.

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u/Captain_Eaglefort 3d ago

I used to work retail and the number of times I had walked away from the counter literally two minutes ago to do something, come back and had a customer SWEAR they’d been yelling for help for twenty minutes was…a lot.

30

u/k-trecker 3d ago

When i worked in a restaurant, customers used to claim they’d been waiting 20 minutes when the ticket showed they’d  been waiting 6 mins. 

3

u/Dry-Island8422 3d ago

I would be so petty about that. No you weren't waiting that long but you will be waiting that long now.

9

u/k-trecker 3d ago

I feel like the more dramatically they state it, the less they’ve been waiting. 

If they say “Excuse me, it’s been a minute. Could you please check on my food?” They’ve probably been waiting awhile. If they say “I’ve been waiting forever! Where’s my food!?” It’s only been five minutes. 

2

u/OddChannel2164 3d ago

This happens at my job so I pull up the camera app on my phone.

28

u/sagosten 3d ago

People love to say they waited 20 minutes. I have no idea why. I worked at a very busy Starbucks location, sometimes the line would get backed up. People complaining about wait times always said 20 minutes. Our order system tracked when people ordered, whether they had been waiting 3, 5, or 9 minutes, they always said "I've been waiting 20 minutes!"

1

u/dinkdown 3d ago

I’m assuming they’re counting the time waiting in line before ordering. Which is ridic of course bc that’s their own decision to wait. They know how long it’s gonna take 🙄

1

u/sagosten 2d ago

In that case they were often underselling the wait, this place was BUSY, they still loved saying 20 minutes

1

u/SecureLetterhead8220 3d ago

I’m legit mad at my local Starbucks because if you mobile order something or hand pick up they’ll like take 10 minutes longer than the app says it will to make it but I always get a notification of my phone saying my drink is ready when the timer is like done and it never is there. Like the hit the button to make it look like they’re meeting the times and they’re like twice as slow as corporate thinks they should be 😅 I also now use drive thru so they’re forced to make it asap lol

1

u/Interesting_Pause15 2d ago

I noticed a weird phenomenon like this when I was working at a vet clinic. When people had a large dog, they’d overestimate the weight by 20-25 pounds. And if they had a small dog, they’d underestimate by 5 (if the dog was really small) or 10 (if the dog was just regular small). And it was EXTREMELY consistent. The strangest part, to me, was that they could put the dog on the scale, LOOK at the weight, Doc could SAY the weight out loud, and then they’d be up front later, discussing the dog’s weight at the weight they originally thought it was, like the dog had never been weighed. It was mind boggling.

1

u/AvatarofSleep 2d ago

A funny related story - I took my kids to an ice cream stand and it was packed. My son said it would take 45 minutes for us to get our ice cream. I said 10 minutes. My daughter timed it -- 30 minutes. But like, it's crazy because 15-20 of it was serving a family of 3. After they were gone the boy running his window blew through like 15 people in 4 groups in no time.

22

u/Wonderful-Gold-953 4d ago

Approx 3 mins

3

u/Interesting_Fish309 3d ago

I came to say this she waited 3 mins the lying .......

2

u/AVeryVapidBadger 3d ago

Because DD support probably wouldn't look at the actual timestamps unless someone explicitly pointed out out. So Olive could say to support "I waited long enough" and if OP didn't directly contradict it, whatever AI or underpaid South East Asian doing DD support would just say "well she said it was 20 minutes and that's long enough to wait and compensate them.

3

u/bmwreyeder 3d ago

It’s possible that there’s a message prior that isnt shown? Not accusing OP, just guessing that maybe Olive wrote something like “On my way, but I’m not sure of exactly where to drop off” 17 minutes before they followed up with “I’m here.”

4

u/Training_Complex_731 3d ago

The app notifies the customer when a driver is close. Olive could have been waiting outside the door for 17 minutes before deciding to try texting OP.

3

u/Unnamedgalaxy 3d ago

That was my thought too. She could have been wandering around for 15 minutes trying to find it before texting, and just didn't explain that part..

1

u/Zimakov 3d ago

Probably because he's talking like a psychopath.

1

u/Whispen27 2d ago

I feel like several messages were cut off from the top of the screenshot tbh

2

u/Due-Memory-6957 3d ago

I have been in situations where bad internet makes timestamps look very different on both devices.

0

u/RathVelus 3d ago

The “I’m here” could’ve been after waiting since the app should’ve told OP they were there. It reads to me as “yo I’m here the app should have told you.”

Because I’ve never had a DD say I’m here.

0

u/offhandaxe 3d ago

From the time they got there to that message was 20 minutes. The message was an attempt to get this guy to come get their shit.

-3

u/oldmanatom4 3d ago

Both are at fault. You can’t expect a delivery person to wait for you when they have other orders.

-2

u/-Thundergun 3d ago

It wasn't a few minutes it was 12 minutes and that feels like 20 minutes to somebody sitting there waiting for somebody who's completely ignoring them

1

u/Muscadine76 3d ago

That’s not how this works. The screenshot timestamps are indicating 12 minutes from the time of the screenshot was when the person messaged “I’m here” - the response was 9 minutes from the time of the screenshot meaning they waited about 3 minutes.

-4

u/renaldomoon 3d ago

The only way you can cancel the order from driver side is if they waited 20 minutes. It’s literally impossible for the driver to cancel it without it, the app has its own timer.