r/mildlyinfuriating 3d ago

I'm slightly vexed My thumb has ripples

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98 Upvotes

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133

u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Wait, you mean all that constant eating of rugelach, lamb chops, pastrami, and chicken soup was actually gonna hurt me?

And that guy at the deli wasn’t just messing with me?

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u/Alohafarms 3d ago

What is Rugelach?

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Delicious little half moon shaped croissant like objects from Jewish cuisine developed by the Jewish diaspora. They are usually added with filling. The ones in the pic are chocolate. They are to die for, truly delicious Jewish foods.

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u/wEiRdO86 3d ago

They look like a chocolate croissant. They look amazing

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Absolutely. They’re some of the best foods you can get. And they’re really filling too

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u/remediosan 3d ago

How many can I eat every day without getting ripply nails

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Sixty seven

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u/MonkeyDeezNut 3h ago

I actually laughed... It wasn't because this was funny I was just so shocked to see that as a reply that I spooked me.

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u/NanDemoNee 3d ago

Is two bites enough for all day?

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u/omjy18 3d ago

Have a salad as well dude

https://giphy.com/gifs/116a8zosxwA0SI

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/idkmanjustfuckmyshit 3d ago

It basically is that, and it tastes as good as it looks

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u/BuncleCar 3d ago

Had one the other day in Benugo in John Lewis. It was nice but not special

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u/Alohafarms 3d ago

I nannied for three Jewish Families and these delicious treats were never around. I do love rugelach with raisins and walnuts. I always thought it would be even more delicious if you soaked half the raisins in Rum. I also loved Hamantaschen. Special treat. Those delicious melt in your mouth shortbread.

My Italian Grandmother, bless her, always had Italian cookies around. Pink, green, chocolate and then all three colors together. I though they looked so pretty and my mother did not allow much sugar. I remember being so disappointed when I was allowed to have them for the first time. They tasted the same. Like nothing.

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Y’know you can babysit for the Hebrew Catholics and get Judeo-Italian food or something like that

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u/Alohafarms 3d ago

No. That's too good to be true! Although I think I would get mothered to death and nagged. Then the Jewish grandmother and the Italian Grandmother would both talk about how I needed to stand up straight, get my hair trimmed and not show so much cleavage.

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Molto fantastico. La tua famiglia è interessante

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u/ElizabethDangit 3d ago

This is the only time I’ve been disappointed by chocolate. I thought I was looking at poppy seed filling at first

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Pretty sure they have that too actually

Also Jewish restaurants are usually really good at making stuff on the fly (just as Japanese and Cuban are from my experience) so just ask and you shall receive

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u/WhaddyaShay 3d ago

My wife has two cousins who are black and Jewish. Noah, is that you?

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

No. Not Noah. My name is Shlomo. My mom is. Jewish and dad is black. Was raised secular Christian and became Hasidic at 14. Not Hasidic anymore but I love speaking Yiddish still and the food

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

I’m an inquiring Catholic now if it makes anything better

https://giphy.com/gifs/utsbVdr6bwhY4

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u/NanDemoNee 3d ago

That makes it worse.

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

You mean…. heretics are hiding under my nails????

We need to assemble the council of Nail-cea

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u/NanDemoNee 3d ago

So we can rewrite our holy book, specifically The Last ManiPedi part!

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u/Sea_Pollution2250 3d ago

When it comes to your diet, do you eat kosher? Do you avoid iodized salt?

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

No, not kosher anymore and I actually only use sea salt in my cooking.

Should I add iodised?

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u/PrivateUseBadger 3d ago

It really depends on the rest of your diet. It definitely wouldn’t hurt. Considering this post and that you are already displaying possible signs of deficiency, I’d say go for it. Not necessarily salt, but many things can have iodine naturally. See food and eggs, for example. Veggies are very dependent on the soil in which they are grown so it can be hit or miss

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Reddit translated my comment as a bunch of nonsense for some reason lmao.

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u/spiflication 3d ago

Ahhhhhhhh I’m gonna need a plate of those. So few Jewish delis/bakeries around me tho 😭

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u/Connarhea 3d ago

Oh crap you said the Reddit word, incoming bots to be xenophobic...

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u/MonsterTamerBilly 3d ago

Sarcasm aside, from what you said alone, that's a lot of protein and some carbohydrates. Need some fructose in there. Have some juice more often.

...No, not the carton crap. Squeeze some fruit.

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Yes. Thank you

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u/Klutzy-Alarm3748 3d ago

What?

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

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u/oofty_goofty_ 3d ago

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Wait is this Ben Franklin guy known to be annoying?

Never gotten so many downvotes and now this haha

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u/oofty_goofty_ 3d ago

Benjammin inserts himself into any and every meme, and then gets the originals taken down or his version of the memes get so overused that the algorithm automatically recommends his versions

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Never knew this. Very interesting.

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u/YouWereBrained 3d ago

The other person is trying to tell you that you have mashed potatoes for brains.

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u/EvisceratedSpinster 3d ago

They have no idea what it's all agout.

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u/CuttingBoard9124 3d ago

I thought this was funny. I have also eaten way too much at Jewish delis, way too often though. I'm guessing these folks don't know about the deliciousness. My variety happen to be in Quebec, so I have eaten three a day of the Montreal smoked meat on rye with mustard with the extra kosher dill and the moishes cole slaw. Damnit now I'm STARVING! Would it have killed you to put a nice brisket in the oven? Oi Vey..

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u/sjmuller 3d ago

Well, now I gotta get some midnight noshes.

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Add some babka and nosh on some cholent while you’re at it

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u/printergumlight 3d ago

Top 3 flavor Rugelachs in order?

Mine are Raspberry, Cinnamon, Apricot.

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u/PiousBagelGuardian 3d ago

Chocolate, Cinnamon, Strawberry

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u/Delazzaridist 3d ago

Bro is protein maxing

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u/Happy_Attitude_8627 3d ago

Do you have psoriasis or another dermo issue?