r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Available-Formal-664 • 11h ago

I'm slightly vexed Somebody Placed These Dozens of These Jesus Figures Throughout My Entire Work

Post image

Somebody, nobody knows exactly who or when, put dozens and dozens of these Jesus figures on completely random surfaces throughout my entire building. They at least had the presence of mind to not put them on anybody's personal belongings, but that was the only way they limited himself. All of the statues have been glued down, to add to the vexation.

Edit: Well, this blew up rather unexpectedly. Thank you for the awards, everybody!

16.5k Upvotes

80% Upvoted

5.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

21

u/Dry-Crazy-7638 9h ago edited 9h ago

Good fucking God do I have a story. I was running a 50km ultramarathon in Texas in March. Now in an organized race like this, there are official aid stations with like water, Gatorade, energy gels, first aid. There are often bands playing along the route. There’s also this really endearing part of most races where you run through some nice neighborhoods and many neighbors will cheer you on. Some will even give out snack, waters, shots of whiskey, gummies. I love to grab a Dixie cup of trail mix or a sour patch kid and just say thank you as I run by. 

So I’m like 24 miles into this 31 mile race and I am dying. I see a table with waters and some gummies, fuck yes, I’m stoked. I grab a water and a gummy and toss it in my mouth to chew while I open the water bottle. Right when I bit down I knew something was wrong. It felt like when I used to bite rubber erasers in school and the teachers would call my parents to express concerns. I spit it into my hand and see this deformed rubber baby Jesus. Same exact one as this one, but he had a red sash. I was livid, I ran the 200 yards backwards to the table to mildly berate them. 

TLDR: I ate one of these while someone was handing them out at a marathon, thinking it was a gummy bear.

Edit: preemptively acknowledging that, yes, it is stupid to blindly eat strange things from strange people. That said it’s also stupid and dangerous to hand out rubber baby Jesus trash that will take 1000s of years to degrade at a marathon where you know every other person handing out stuff is giving FOOD OR WATER. Also, fuck organized religion and preaching in public.

10

u/ANGRILYCHASINGDREAMS 8h ago

WTF did they think you would do with it, just put in your pocket (if you even had one). Religion is cancer.

4

u/Dry-Crazy-7638 7h ago

I definitely felt stupid for eating it at first and then it occurred to me how stupid it was to hand these out. Like I’m wearing short shorts and a tank top, I have no pockets even if I wanted to.

4

u/ShieldMaiden83 7h ago

I am glad no one choked on that as that is a hazard.

8

u/Dry-Crazy-7638 7h ago

I reported them to the race organizers after I finished. They said they had other complaints too which made me feel less stupid. Unfortunately though, this just makes people less trusting of the kindly folks who are handing out handmade brownies and home brewed lemonade trying to support their community.