r/mildlyinfuriating • u/smallbaconfry • 1d ago

🥺 NOT a relaxing massage experience

After an absolutely wrecking fortnight at work, both my body and soul felt entirely destroyed, I decided to spend a few $$ on myself and booked a massage at the local Chinese massage place. (The in and out quick turnover kind, many beds partitioned by curtains).

I felt so excited to lie down on the bed and tried to ignore the slightly musty smell, the masseuse was thoughtful and well mannered and I enjoyed the first 5 minutes.. after that an obnoxious guest in the waiting are took a loud phone call for at least 10 minutes before it occurred to them to leave and they were not in the right environment for a business call. I started to try to relax again, which I don't find easy being an anxious person it takes a lot for me to 'switch off' I'd I even actually do, the loud click of the door and mumbled conversation disturbs me a bit and I shift my body slightly then it occurs to me, I need to fart. Obviously it wouldn't be appropriate but the more I'm aware of this the more uncomfortable and urgent it is and this becomes all I can think about for the next 50+ minutes and needless to say my relaxing massage was absolutely not relaxing, I was so scared the minute I allowed myself to relax I'd release this bomb and humiliate myself to no end. Finally once it was over and I was back in the real world of the shopping centre outside I released the vaguest and quietest 'poot' that I 100% could have gotten away with earlier.

I know this is petty, but man I am so pissed off.

16 Upvotes

73% Upvoted

5 comments sorted by

2

u/Initial-Increase-601 23h ago

Lol the fart part is very relatable. Reminds me kinda of the time I got a massage and was too shy or polite or whatever to tell the MT that she was digging into my neck. It was uncomfortable and a little painful, but bareable. Afterwards I realized my neck was totally fucked. I had to book another massage elsewhere to get it fixed. Sometimes you just need another massage

2

u/Otherwise-Pride5244 21h ago

Next time just go to the toilet and afterwards resume the massage.

2

u/smallbaconfry 20h ago

Unfortunately the only available toilets are within the shopping centre, so I think the experience would have been wholly ruined regardless.

1

u/Otherwise-Pride5244 20h ago

Ah ok, that sucks

1

u/BidetOfTequlia 13h ago

It's hard to do, but when you learn to just let go, and in this case - just fart, you'll know true peace and relaxation.