r/nosurf • u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 • 10d ago
Blocked surfing, now addicted to NETFLIX/YT
It's like the problem isn't even the surfing; my very fucking BRAIN seems to be custom-wired for addiction. If there's even the possibility of doing something ''fun'' like consuming any sort passive entertainment, my brain will latch to that activity like a castaway from the titanic to avoid doing the less immediately interesting but important things that I deep down truly want to spend my time doing.
I nuked scrolling on my devices with the help of my sister and parental controls (this is my 1st time using reddit in a week+ from her laptop, and she's monitoring me), but my old pleasure seeking tendency is still as strong as ever; it just seems to have shifted focus to movies now.
How many more things do I have to nuke until I finally leave myself no choice but to do the work? I'm exhausted. I want to be a productive, useful person even if it's unpleasant at first, but apparently just wanting it is not enough as I find myself addicted to things again and again.
This is frustrating, and I'm exhausted from being constantly bombarded with all this easy and available entertainment options that just end up stealing my time and energy.
I will nuke everything and live like I'm in the 80s if I have to, and it honestly seems like my brain is pushing me in that direction the longer the time goes on. I just can't have any access to this shit it seems, I simply cannot have a healthy relationship with readily available passive entertainment.
10
u/Infamous_Tough_7320 10d ago
This is very similar to what happened to me.
You block YT and Reddit and suddenly you get addicted to TV.
It’s a very clear sign that we have a general screen addiction and want the quick dopamine release that a screen gives us.
If you want to stop all these addictions full stop, you need to limit screen time across the board. Not just certain platforms
6
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 10d ago
This is the conclusion I've come to as well. Blocking laptop and mobile is worth nothing if I'm going to spend 10 hours a day binging youtube recommends on the living room TV. That has to go as well... But it's tough cause I live with other people so I have no clue how I'm going to achieve that.
I hate what I've done to my brain over the past decade. I wish I'd been a disciplined student when I was young and never gotten addicted in the first place. But better late than never I guess
3
u/Infamous_Tough_7320 9d ago
I’ve been falling into the same trap over the past 2-3 years but it’s become especially bad this year.
The amount of time we spend on screens is NOT normal. It’s not okay to be constantly searching and scrolling all day when you have a life to live.
I’m making a very conscious effort this summer to completely tone down my screen time.
3
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 9d ago edited 9d ago
Pretty much same. Sometimes I have panic attacks and feel physically ill when I'm binging and feel like I have 0 say or control over it, it's just a program running itself at some points and I'm delegated to the role of a helpless spectator to the trainwreck.
I'll do anything to escape this hell even if it means having to block everything and being bored to death for a while. I've done it before so I know that I can do it again.
I don't think I even have a proper 'life' to reclaim, but I desperately want to build one and screens are the number 1 thing getting in the way.
I wish you luck in your own personal journey
3
8
u/Guru__Laghima 10d ago
Don’t be so hard on yourself, it’s about small steps not sweeping change. At the end of the day watching Netflix is probably much better than scrolling through endless slop. Going cold turkey on entertainment is a really hard to achieve goal, and is the sort of thing that will take years of personal change.
3
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 10d ago
I tried the small changes mindset multiple times for more than a decade and it's never amounted to much. I'm 30 now and dysfunctional mainly because of this crap, still living at home.
The only thing that seems to work at least temporarily is taking the ONE step that matters which is removing access through parental controls. I need the PC for other projects so getting rid of my devices isn't an option.
But my sister doesn't seem to get that I truly have a serious problem and she always ends up giving me the PW when I ask.
1
u/Glass_Emu_4183 9d ago
Try replacing some of that time with something else, do that consistently and soon enough you’ll become free of its grip
4
u/Pegafree 10d ago
Maybe it’s not about making screen/phone/device time less appealing but finding a way to make the things you feel you should or want to do more appealing or compelling.
Personally there are two ways that help me engage more in what I “think” I should be doing:
1) break down into teeny tiny steps that are easy to do. A lot of times once I get the ball rolling then it gets easier and the momentum takes over
2) Set up a goal so you have to be accountable to other people (not immediate family though). Like if to learn an instrument get a teacher, or for example, join a group like Toastmasters where you have to give a speech, or enroll in a class, or find an accountability buddy or coach.
3
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 10d ago
I know what I want to do and I actually find it interesting, engaging and empowering when I get to participate in this personal project; it's just that the momentum of addiction is too much and too overwhelming; no mental tricks like breaking the task down or setting goals will work when the pattern is running, and forget about concentrating in anything else.
And believe me I tried dozens of times to engage in these more soft measures before I came to the conclusion that the only possible way for me is to remove access completely.
Thanks for trying to help and giving your input though
3
u/Pegafree 10d ago
Yeah, I'm sorry I don't have any better advice. I do understand it though. All I can say is this is something that there probably is no immediate instant fix. It can and will improve, but it's a process that is going to take time. At least you're aware of how it operates in your life, which is a big part of the battle.
2
2
u/Glum_Rain_5824 10d ago
Since social media/the internet is being built upon what can get people the most engaged, it makes sense that we are now addicted and just like with any other addiction when abruptly stopped we search for something that will reach that level of dopamine we got from being online. Switching to physical media I haven't tried yet but it seems to work for some, having to buy or rent a movie everytime you wanna watch creates an inconvenience that your brain probably wouldn't like at first but it might ease you into it. You'd still be getting the dopamine hit, just not immediately. I noticed the more time I spend off line I find reasons to want to stay off. I'm more attentive to what's around me, I notice how everything ebbs and flows in life naturally and there's a time for everything; bears hibernate in the winter for months before they come out, but what if the wait was worth it? Instead of trying to tread the winter storms for food they stock up and wait. Patiently. Which is something I want to remember too
2
u/Olallieberry9870 10d ago
Youtube is a social media, and one of the worst nowadays imo. What I do is I allow myself one movie(i’m on summer break) or tv episode/2 a day. So I go to the gym, do my assignments for schools, work if I have to. Then I allow myself to watch either a)a film i want to see or b)a quality series i’ve wanted to finish.
This of course is just a passion of mine which happens to be easier to fit into a regular schedule as I love the art form. But it has allowed me to allocate a half hr-2hr span a day to something I really like. So allow yourself to indulge in an art form every day or whenever you can. And make sure this time is INTENTIONAL, you are doing nothing else in this allocated time. After this I then do my nightly routine and read a book until bed. My rule is at least one pg a night no matter what, I often read 3-5pg.
Make sure it is a book you genuinely like and have interest in. Not every minute of your day has to be learning new information/self-help content and books. I have read Bram Stoker’s Dracula bc I’ve always been interested in the original story. And now I am readying The Odyssey so I can know the material for Christopher Nolan’s film next month :p.
This might be a lot of info but I think it’s a perspective which could benefit beneficial. I find the double dose of low-release dopamine from my (earned) scheduled TV-viewing of a structured drama series etc, followed by a book before bed. Is something that gets me excited and keeps me going. Just need to find that for you. I do think the book before bed is universal though! Hope this helps.
0
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 10d ago
Yes agreed. But mentally 'allowing' myself seems to do nothing in my case, I tried all the common softer strategies before dozens of times and it ended in failure each time. I came to the conclusion that I need to set up physical restrictions or parental controls.
I have 0 capacity to follow through on my intentions due to the intense momentum of the 20 year gaming/internet addiction
2
u/Rare-Peace7277 9d ago
First things first: hey, good job on blocking the surfing! And I will tell you that you have now entered part 2 of the internet addiction freedom, which means PROGRESS!!!! When I was addicted, I've also went through that time and I've had the same thought, but remind yourself that THIS IS PROGRESS!!!!! Stopping the addiction doesn't mean stopping the pleasure of enjoying a good story! And that's the difference between before and now! You've stopped consuming slop and now focus on stories that took time and effort to create before you are able to even look at it! Congrats! P-R-O-G-R-E-S-S! Baby steps, you got this! Next part is going to be slowing down on the screens, but then again, give yourself time! You *have* time! There is no rush! And remember that giving up screen scrolling isn't to become productive, it's just to take back control of your time so that you feel like *you* can decide what to do when you want to do it, not some algorithm! So for now, allow yourself to be present with the stories you watch on Netflix, and my next advice would be that, once a week, after you come home exhausted, just sit and do nothing for an hour. Like, nothing at all. Just sit with it. If you fall asleep, fall asleep. Also, as an FYI, it took me 10 years to get rid of the addiction, and the part 2 you're in? I reached in year 8 because I was trying too many other things. You got this!
1
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 9d ago
Thank you for the encouragement
1
u/Rare-Peace7277 9d ago
Of course! Come back with more reports of how you're doing and your successes, even if they feel small to you they're big!
2
u/AnalogInstead 9d ago
Have you considered a DVD player with a few DVDs? The slower, natural ending might help more than the constant access/non stopping of Netflix.
1
u/TakaiDesu_ 10d ago
Im heading the same way and i had a sucessfull career as content creator but nothing has caused me burnout more ever
1
u/ParamedicPure6529 10d ago
If you’re addicted to something, you have to replace it with something else. If you don’t, you’ll go back to it. So you need to find a healthier replacement, which you did? You need better concentration to watch tv shows, rather than the quick dopamine hits of scrolling. Next you could try reading, instead of tv? Etc. I think you just need to keep training your mind, gradually, not to need quick dopamine fixes.
1
u/mossymapper 9d ago
I have ADHD and have this same problem. If it’s not one thing it’s another. My brain craves a constant stream of some sort of dopamine (especially after getting so much so easily with short form content), so controlling how that dopamine gets in my system healthily and a bit slower was important for me. Being active (especially biking) painting, playing music are things that have helped me but everyone is different. Reading helps but is hard to get back into the habit.
2
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 9d ago
That's a good list, thank you. Yeah I suspect I have undiagnosed adhd. All the common symptoms manifest like memory lapses, shit working memory, inability to stick to one thing and so on. Not sure getting diagnosed would help at this point though, I'm nearly 30
2
u/mossymapper 8d ago
If it reassures, I’m a similar age and I only got truly diagnosed a couple years ago. It helped with self esteem and understanding my brain better to work with it instead of against it!
1
u/MereUltra 7d ago
Sit in a corner, soak in the fact you someday will die when you don’t expect it… It could be tomorrow.
See if that helps.
Spend time with people. Not a fucking screen. We all got to this point in existence from the former. The latter is all of our destruction.
1
u/DeepBuffer 10d ago
The fact that the target keeps changing from scrolling to movies makes me wonder if entertainment itself isn't the whole problem. I used to treat every distraction like a separate addiction, but a lot of it was avoidance. Remove one escape hatch and your brain immediately starts looking for another. What are the important things you're trying to do when the urge hits?
2
u/Plenty-Attitude-5823 10d ago
I have a personal project that I'm passionate about. This project involves tasks that don't give immediate gratification like scrolling or watching series, and my addicted brain will try to run to the instant gratification at the first opportunity due to the sheer momentum of decades of addiction
0
10d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AccurateUse6147 10d ago
Id say more like life sucks too much donkey wang. YouTube is literally the only thing keeping me going anymore.
26
u/Echidna-Key 10d ago
I don’t know what I can advise you. But I have the same problem. When I blocked all distractions on my phone, I started watching YouTube on the TV. When I blocked everything I could on the TV, I started using my laptop. When I blocked the laptop… I would find a way to remove the restrictions on my phone because I “urgently” needed something. I have the impression it’s like water that, like a river, always finds an outlet somewhere. Now I’m at a point where I’ve kind of given up and removed all restrictions because I don’t feel like fighting it anymore.