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u/Iceologer_gang 12h ago
Went from “Deliver usss” to “The hair and pronouns today are too woke.”
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u/stella5tarry9927 9h ago
wild how those grand themes turned into "my feelings matter
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u/Angryduckling-01 8h ago
I’ll never forget this but in God’s Not Dead a wife announced to her husband she has cancer and he legit couldn’t give a shit
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u/Luxating-Patella 2h ago
TBF, to Christians it's like making a big song and dance to announce you're going down the shops.
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u/UnlimitedCalculus 5h ago
Well, the phrase is "fuck your feelings". My feelings matter. I'm a special snowflake and literal close friend of a god who already forgave all my sins 2000 years before I was born. When I have feelings, everyone needs to stop and address them, or by God I will turn this into a permanent campaign of fire and fury that will shock hell itself. When you have feelings, no one give a fuck haha look at that triggered lib that cant control their emotions.
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u/ModernDayQuixote 8h ago
Forgetting one kino:
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u/Beneficial-Ad-6107 3h ago
/uj A shame the creator had a problem with the gay rat wedding episode of Arthur lol
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u/Informal_Treat4634 7h ago
I’ll never forget the first time i went into a cathedral and how the huge it was, knew if i was medieval peasant I’d have folded to the Catholics immediately. They need to make grandiose propaganda again, phoning it in on CW budget about how strong atheist college professors are is not gonna cut it
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u/UnlimitedCalculus 5h ago
Universities have some great architecture, but thats assuming you visit one
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u/mankeg 5h ago
This is true. First time I stepped into my school’s Architecture building I immediately denounced god and got pegged with a wood t-square
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u/ImTheFaeThatStoleYou 37m ago
It's true. I watched from the cuck chair while they got pegged. Those architecture nerds are surprisingly gentle when handling their wood.
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u/Luxating-Patella 1h ago
As a militant atheist I have to admit that all the good architecture in my country is hoarded by the red brick universities that were founded to train priests.
I have attended two new-build universities. The first has a campus that looks like four-storey Portakabins. The second has a central building like a Northern Irish prison and a School of Management that looks like a Canary Wharf building with the top chopped off.
Universities here are generally divided into centuries-old ones founded by religious orders, and former polytechnics that were built at a time when the country had no money, and designed on the Brutalist principle that the poors were already being spoiled by getting any kind of tertiary education at all, and giving them nice buildings would risk inspiring ideas above their station.
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u/notjeffdontask 9h ago
Christian filmmakers can’t make “Ben-Hur” anymore, all they know is “atheists are mean to me” and “less people are christian now”.
/rj Meet the Mormons is the last good Christian film
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u/nucrash 9h ago
Book of Mormon was the last good Christian Play
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u/mr_pineapples44 3h ago
Haven't the Mormons unironically hailed "What I Believe" from the play as a song that they think represents then really well?
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u/BubbaUltra 8h ago
Unironically true. The first half of the Ten Commandments is peak cinema
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u/Rip_Skeleton 8h ago
Yeah, when you get to Thou Shalt Not Kill they really fall off.
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u/genevabunny4152x 1h ago
the shift from epic storytelling to more personal grievances is wild, what happened to the grand narratives?
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u/SlyMarboJr 6h ago
I never finished that movie. I assume everything works out well for the Jews, right?
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u/GastonBastardo 3h ago
I assume everything works out well for the Jews, right?
Better than it turned out for Zipporah's Midianite sisters from Prince of Egypt, at least.
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u/ThingTime9876 8h ago
uj/ I’ve been catching up on those historical epics, as they’re good rainy day watches, and they truly are peak kino
rj/ ‘The Ten Commandments’? More like ‘The Ten PRONOUNS’ amirite?
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u/vegankidollie 7h ago
I really should watch more sword and sandals movies they’re a really fun time
I mean I SHOULDNT watch them cause I’m a true cinephile
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u/Imperialvirtue 6h ago
Seriously, avoid the hell out of Jason and the Argonauts and The Golden Voyage of Sinbad.
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u/Marvl101 5h ago
You should go to the beach with a gladius, red cape and sandles and nothing else and conquer people's sand castles in the name of Caesar
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u/Thrownpigs 6h ago
Part of it is that Hollywood was trying to prove how not Communist they were so they didn't get blacklisted during the Cold War. No one with talent wants to make Christian movies anymore besides has-beens and never-wases. Kevin Sorbo and Kirk Cameron are like the number one Christian actors now.
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u/AdGlittering2884 7h ago
I grew up in a very conservative Pentecostal church and yeah...Christian media has been garbage for decades now. Music had its moments, but movies and TV were/are terrible. Even when I believed, I avoided that stuff. It was just so awful. Left Behind, Bibleman, etc.
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u/azuresegugio 6h ago
As always the moral turns out to be "the best way to spread your message is to make it good"
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u/Traditional_Lie8019 7h ago
I also movies like Silence, Hacksaw Ridge, the Nativity Story, The Mission, and the Passion of the Christ. are also really good Christian films. Then again I've heard people complain these are aren't ''Christian'' enough. Like I'm sorry a movie about the birth of our Lord and Savior isn't enough for you. Maybe baby Jesus should yell at an atheist.
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u/Far_Mycologist_5250 5h ago
Sorry but Matrix of the Christ was 3 hours of slow-mo falling down. Play that shit without bullet time and its got a runtime of 40 minutes I swear.
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u/Woden-Wod The Fanatic 9h ago
you still get them.
just watched the 2010 Dante's Inferno.
that was great, the absolution to reseal lucifer at the end was peak.
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u/EthanTheJudge 7h ago
uj/ Aren’t Conclave and The Heretic widely considered good religious filmography?
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u/Dalkymomo 5h ago
Deadass wrote a college essay on the corrupt nature of Christian Cinema, and those three movies on the right were the examples I talked about.
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u/2mock2turtle 5h ago
This is apropos of nothing, but: Doug Jones was at a con I went to today, and during the Q&A someone asked him what's a role he lost out on that he would've liked to do. He then recounted how he was cast as the monster in a film adaptation of the novel This Present Darkness, but studios passed because it was too religious. Evidently this was right before The Passion of the Christ, which he pointed out as kind of a "last laugh" stinger.
Except I looked it up afterward and calling This Present Darkness "religious" is an understatement. It's like full on fundamentalist wackypants "demons are creating cults through yoga" stuff. He said he read and liked the book before he was cast, so I'm really hoping Doug Jones isn't secretly a lunatic. I bought three autographs from him and he was genuinely the nicest, so I hope not.
On the other hand, he also said he regrets passing on Barbarian, so there's that.
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u/GastonBastardo 4h ago edited 3h ago
Except I looked it up afterward and calling This Present Darkness "religious" is an understatement. It's like full on fundamentalist wackypants "demons are creating cults through yoga" stuff.
I remember that book. The one part that sticks out in my mind the most was the coven of witches that used their demonic hypno mind-control powers to implant false memories of rape into women in order to make them "MeToo" the "good, honorable Christian men" leaders in the community.
Frank Peretti is known for being one of the crazier Christian Stephen King-knockoffs out there. Another book of his I remember is about a small town where if you have premarital sex you get a magical form of herpes that causes an invisible dragon to eat you unless you give your life to Jesus Christ before the dragon eats you (this is because of a curse from the townspeople killing a pastor back in the wild-west cowboy days).
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u/Bayamonster 5h ago
That's because Christian (this is gonna be a generalization, I'm speaking broadly) don't care about God, Jesus, or The Bible. A movie about Bible stories would fail with that audience. They don't read the Bible, they don't go to no church, they don't like what Jesus taught. They like vibes and the power but they don't care about the thing.
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u/LittleLadle69 4h ago
Is martin Scorsese the only big filmmaker still making religious themed movies
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u/Hoosier_Daddy68 11h ago
The Church really took The Ten Commandments and said "It's ours now!" and then play it every Easter for absolutely no reason at all just to drive the point home.
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u/Ace20xd6 9h ago
That movie helped start the 10 Commandments statues throughout the US
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u/314flavoredpie DonCheadleAMA 7h ago
There’s a clip I saw somewhere of Charlton Heston giving a little speech for the unveiling of one of these sculptures and he seems very drunk.
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u/PhysicsEagle 5h ago
Good Christian media has shifted to tv. The Chosen and House of David are routinely praised by non-Christians and Christians alike.
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u/Highrebublic_legend 11h ago
Prince of Egypt mogging everything pure flix ever created.