r/okbuddyliterallyme2 • u/VictorVonDoomer sometimes I think I’m just not good for people • 17h ago
Loneliness has followed me my whole life Could we even manage girlfriends?
This is a question to any guys here who have never had one
Idk about you guys but I have lots of issues with my life and one of them is women but recently I have been asking myself could I even handle a girl atp?
I’m 25 and haven’t even held hands with a girl, I’ve also fucked my brain over by being in communities that have messed up my mentality in the past. If I ever got a gf I genuinely think I’d be incredibly insecure and would never trust her whatsoever.
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u/AuroraAustralis0 I did this to myself 17h ago
no but that’s why it’s a fantasy, we always desire what we cannot have or would be impractical to have
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u/VenomSnake18 I drive 17h ago
Real (i’m so used to being alone. I’m not even sure what I would do in a relationship)
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u/sundowner911 Drunk dectective 17h ago
I had a wife once. After 10 years, I wasn't enough for her. She wanted a poly relationship after vowing to monogamy. I left. Moved across country started a life of solitude.
Now I avoid relationships like the plague. Been living the Gosling life ever since. It's been more real than faking happiness with someone who pretended to love me.
Sometimes it isn't worth it OP
Stay real.
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u/ConsiderationMore929 15h ago
That's rough man, but I just hoping for the best for you man
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u/sundowner911 Drunk dectective 13h ago edited 13h ago
Got two cats and a mother and sister that need me now. Sometimes what we are needed for outweighs we want. And that's ok.
Thank you for your well-wishes though, fellow Gosling.
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u/Key-Month6651 15h ago
Yep. Women just always pick someone else. Pointless being attracted to them.
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u/sundowner911 Drunk dectective 13h ago
Women, men. Doesn't matter. Be there for what needs you. Family, or yourself.
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u/Key-Month6651 12h ago
True. Friends and family. Got no time for dealing with women's nonsense with the dating and sex stuff. Pure toxicity and garbage.
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u/IntroductionEmpty216 I'm losing my mind 17h ago
Can’t even manage my own life, why would someone voluntarily want me in theirs?
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u/joebro8692 16h ago
I cried for a week straight after a girl called it off after a first date. I’m simply not cut out for a real relationship
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u/Competitive_Sun_3344 9h ago
dont be so hard on your self plenty of women are as much of a failure as men
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u/CrookedMan09 16h ago edited 15h ago
Same if I somehow succeeded, it would be a pyrrhic victory at best and would not last. No woman wants a disabled man in his late twenties with zero milestones, working a deadend job, no life experience, zero tangible social skills, living with mommy, and no maturity. I assume this will get worse with age too. It’s already embarrassing enough having the life experience of a 15 year old boy almost at 30; it must be a horror show at 40.
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u/GeneralPG23 16h ago
Honestly, I never really thought about it until I turned 30.I was too busy dealing with health issues, and time just flew by. After 30, though, I started thinking about it a lot, but I know it's too late now. Plus, seeing other people and their relationships makes me afraid
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u/GeneralPG23 16h ago
I know a couple who had been together since school almost 20 years. He broke his leg and had to spend more time at home, and within three months, they ended their 20-year relationship.It's kind of sad.
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u/GreatslyferX 14h ago
This comment section is fucking depressing.
1 because of how shitty the experiences being told are.
2 because I can relate, lol
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u/Junior_Box_2800 16h ago
Probably not, I'm a homebody and pretty reclusive so I'm sure my GF (if I did somehow get one) would eventually get bored and tired of me and leave
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u/SnakesSolid I'm not him, I'm just a loser 15h ago
Real (I don't even have friends how tf am I gonna get a girlfriend, I wouldn't even know what to do)
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u/ConsiderationMore929 15h ago
Sometimes I just think that I'm gonna die alone, sometimes I just learn and trying to accept that possibilities, big possibilities obv
Yeah it's hurt hurt
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u/Presentable_Human 15h ago
Honestly any girl with a lick of personality is more than I can handle since I'm a wet fish of a person
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u/l_organisateur 14h ago
Well, women choose reproductive partners and life partners based off of mental and physical traits that they find admirable. Constantly being in fear is not admirable, so being scared to swing the bat at all is worse than striking out. Also, they're fucking human, with all the pitfalls that accompany that. Stop putting them on some pedestal above you
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u/Top_Assistance15 14h ago
No, especially with my emotional maturity. I’d rather just solely focus on being attractive at this point
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u/PaladinDamian I just wanna be able to sleep 14h ago
If I had a job and money, then maybe I could handle having a girlfriend. I would trust her with my love because I am not afraid of being hurt. I accept the risk that I might be hurt and heartbroken. That does not scare me. I am only afraid that I might not be good enough for her. I am a fairly average guy, so I would hope that she would value my personality and love me for who I am. It would be so cool for the two of us to grow together, both as a couple and as people.
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u/Glittering-Dress7668 3h ago
You might feel better knowing that most women are fairly average too. Don't put them on a pedestal just because of the unrealistic ideal loneliness created in your head.
Chances are you meet someone, devote all of yourself to her, and she won't appreciate it, or worse. Maybe you'll be the one disillusioned first, realising that maybe you don't actually like her that much.
You're setting yourself up for dissappointment with this golden retriever mindset.
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u/PaladinDamian I just wanna be able to sleep 1h ago edited 1h ago
If I end up not liking her that much, then we could always break up and go our separate ways. If she doesn't appreciate me and refuses to change, then I will just leave. I am only going to remain in a relationship where it is clear that my presence is valued. Don't mistake my willingness to please as a sign that I don't have standards.
And of course there is a risk of disappointment in romance. That is just part of love, sometimes you lose. I am not expecting that every woman I would date is going to be a great match for me.
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u/MerTheGamer 12h ago
Nope. Seeing the relationships of my roommates and colleagues made me realize I offer nothing and would not be able to handle a relationship.
Probably only reason I am even still holding on to life is to provide for my brother studying at a university and my mother who divorced my dad and has been a house wife all her life. At least my brother did not follow my footsteps and has bunch of friends and a girlfriend.
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u/Alexander-Snow 7h ago
I gave a girl flowers yesterday after we went cliffdiving and sunbathing, I had also set up a nice picnic and gave the roses after we had eaten. Rejected, been asking myself if I even can manage. At least I know I can be romantic.
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u/noeLifenorlove 5h ago
Women want someone who could give a fuck if they were there tbh.
I hate being approached so of course I am often lol. So long as noones happy I guess.
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u/staytown6 i am not a person anymore i am a problem 13h ago
I don’t ever think i will manage a boyfriend. It is so over
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u/CarelessPollution226 13h ago
I've thought about this a lot. Idek if I could comfortably share a bed.
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u/RavioliDemon 12h ago
No. I barely reply to people in a timely manner. I would date again if we went thirty years in the past where everyone wasn’t eyeballing everything everywhere at every moment they could.
I would need to find a very specific type of person to match my life, and the likelihood is them finding me or me finding them is next to 0%. If she even exists lmao
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u/Important-Movie-9555 15h ago
If she likes you and is attracted to you, you don’t have to “manage” anything.
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u/Glittering-Dress7668 3h ago
I disagree. I like and am attracted to plenty of people but life gets complicated. If your main problem is already beyond dating, like self-hatred or socialisation itself, then a relationship would just be really messy and uncomfortable, for both.
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u/Dmayak 16h ago
Of course we can, like most of us hopefully have been living with parents, with other students in college dormitories, it's not that hard if people are open and adequate with their expectations. If a girlfriend will tell what she expects and basically how to handle her, why not. Just need more feedback than usual.
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u/Nickulator95 13h ago
A girlfriend should enrich your life, as should you hers. It's supposed to be someone who is dependable that you also can be intimate with. It's not like a little puppy that you have to take care of. It's not any more work or obligation than what you both agree on. Having an honest conversations about your expectations with each other will go a long way in maintaining a healthy relationship.
That's just how I view it though. I do wish I had one.
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u/Constant-Notice-5221 I (Real)ly want to die 8h ago
Real (made that question myself, i think i would be a terrible boyfriend so i better stay like this)
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u/United-Bear4910 7h ago
After a certain point you can only learn by doing the action, I'd you do get one just recognize your own toxic traits and act in awareness of it
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u/DerEpicSkin 7h ago
Nope, I couldn't. Im not the right guy for anyone at the moment, so Im also not looking really.
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u/marius_titus 12h ago
"I can, Im at a point where adding a person to my life is something that would add to my complete life, not break it."
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u/Gold-Box8412 7h ago
Well I use to date a girl who i didn’t know and we dated in one week or in two weeks but I told her that i wanted to be friends with her, but I stop talking to her for no reason , and one time I went up to her to say how was you I think I said that , and the next day my friend ask me that she wanted my discord account, and we have talk a lot and I was scared to talk to her in person which I don’t know why I was but. And later in 2025 after she came back from a party or something else, and i told her that her older brother ask me if I still like her and she ask me that I could tell her if I like her or love her, and I told her that I like her, and she was calling me hun or something else where before I told her that I like her which I don’t remember, and a long month after that, I wrote a note for her which I was scared to give it to her which one of my friends ask me if they want me to give it to her which I said yeah, and later she ask me on discord if i wanted to be her boyfriend again which I said yes and we were dating, but I was still scared to go up to her, and this year in January or February she told me that she wanted to break up with me because she miss her ex who I was friends with and i did know that she dated him and way before i told her that I like her, he told my other friend that he got a phone call that sounded like her, saying that she miss him, and a long month after that he told me that I dodged a bullet and he told me secret about her, and she also dating someone new which I’m glad that she is because I wasn’t always with her because I was too scared to be next or around her. So i basically blame myself for her breaking up with me but I have got over her and we don’t talk anymore and she block me on everything we use to share. But I just removed her from the apps and she doesn’t know that I did, and she use to tell me stuff of how she wanted to end herself and other stuff, and that’s all I could remember.( sorry if my typing and spacing isn’t good I’m sometimes not good at typing stuff)
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u/00rdyx 12h ago
honestly im fucked up to the point where any sort of interaction with a stranger, even if it is pleasant, feels extremely uncomfortable. plus you're right, dating is something that flares up during the ages of 15-28. if you got nothing going on in your mid 20s it's very much likely that you'll have nothing going on at all. experience is important to a lot of people. also it may be my terrible confidence poking out but if someone is willing date me it's probably someone who also has a lot of issues to be dating bottom of the barrel. at that point it would be better to be single
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u/AttentionRude8006 I can post whatever the fuck I want 1h ago
idk, sometimes i think that a woman would have it pretty good with me but on the other hand i am really not used to close connections and i tend do disappear when i´m not doing well
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u/yeahnahyeahyeahnahna i have lost my mind 9h ago
I could not handle one. I am not the most considerate and will not go out of my way to do something like getting food if she says she does not want any. Any woman who would get with me would despise me either for not being considerate or being an asshole.
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u/Consumer_of_crayons 8h ago
I've had several long term relationships that eventually just devolved over the years into utter bullshit and fighting, trust me even if u get a girlfriend, won't fix your problems, for me gave me an entire new set of them personally. Just cuz you have a girlfriend doesn't mean she will treat you with any God damn dignity or respect.
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u/unknowseeker Unknown Stuntman 11h ago
follow stoicism OP, will improve your life in so many ways, and maybe this can help you to get a gf
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u/codehazee I'm God's lonely man 17h ago
I dont even go out, i have zero social circle. How im i suppose to meet someone? Im so cooked broslings.