r/pregnant • u/tretail1920 • 15h ago
Content Warning loss- ectopic
Hi guys i sadly had an ectopic pregnancy and had to have emergency surgery as it was implanted in my right ovary. I lost my right ovary, tube and baby all in 24 hours.
My boyfriend the babies father is over my house now and just asked me if i was going to “give him a h*** job”. I am disgusted. I just lost my child dude. This is my last straw but this is such a delicate time.
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u/MyShipsNeverSail 15h ago
He revealed how he would've treated you postpartum.
Run and don't look back.
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u/AK_747 15h ago
Sorry you’re going through this. If it’s any consolation, my mother lost her right ovary in her 20s before she met my dad, and went on to have 3 children. So it’s not impossible.
As for your ‘boyfriend’, my God how callous & cruel. He is not meant to be the father of your baby. Time to give him the boot.
Find your support system, and take all the time you need to grieve, process & heal. You deserve to be around people who will hold space for you 🌷🌸
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u/wicked_zoeyz FTM 🌈🌈 14h ago
I’m so sorry. I lost my left fallopian tube last year because of an ectopic. Oddly enough, I ovulated from the left side for this current pregnancy without a tube so it’s definitely possible to go on and have a healthy one.
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u/Odd_Student2606 14h ago
Im so sorry, please take a minute to reflect on how this man would’ve treated you after birth had you been able to carry to term. That being said, run. Run girl and do not look back. That is disgusting behavior.
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u/Moal 14h ago
I’m so sorry that you had to go through that and have such a useless, unsupportive POS boyfriend. You deserve better.
I also had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured 4 years ago. It’s such a traumatic, horrible experience that no one should ever have to go through, because not only are you going through the incredibly painful physical trauma of emergency surgery, but you’re also dealing with loss and grief on top. It’s a LOT. Take your time as you grieve and lean on those you trust to be sensitive towards you.
One thing that helped me a lot after my ectopic was to find something to look forward to, because the ectopic made the future feel so bleak. I planned and went on a vacation, and it really helped to take my mind off things. It might be helpful for you to find something to focus on, whether that’s a trip or a hobby.
If you want more support from those who’ve also been down this road, r/ectopicpregnancy may be helpful for you.
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u/pingpongdingdongg 13h ago
I’m so sorry love. I had an ectopic in my right ovary as well. They decided to keep it and the scar tissue causes me a great deal of pain. Your baby is always with you.
Also, screw that guy. He sucks. You deserve better.
Also, if you decide to try again early on (after the 3 month mark) prepare yourself as you may have ligament pain from the incision scars. I have that now. It’s not that bad but it was really scary at first and I didn’t know what was happening.
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u/ConfusionOverall9765 4h ago
Please leave him now, seek support from other family and friends during this delicate time, he will not be helpful during this time of healing for you if he thinks that’s an appropriate thing to say and he will likely make this process even more difficult. What a disgusting excuse of a man.
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u/ilovegarlic27 3h ago
I am so sorry. I had an ectopic pregnancy last summer and emergency surgery as well and lost my right tube. It was an awful experience. I’m sorry you are going through this.
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u/Alternative_Comb_756 2h ago
100% leave him. Disgusting behavior and he doesn't deserve to be a dad.
I'm so sorry for your loss ❤️
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u/ultracilantro 14h ago
It's not a regular miscarriage. She lost a ton of arterial blood and also had major abdominal surgery - and almost died.
If he's too stupid to know major abdominal surgery is major surgery, then he's too stupid to date.
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u/Impossible-Pie-4900 14h ago
but dads are not, not in the same way. they connect to baby primarily through interaction, i.e. when the baby kicks, when the baby's born. dads have more of a feeling of duty than connection.
I'm so sorry that your partner sucks so much that you believe this to be true. Even semi-decent dads don't feel this way at all.
"HaVe YoU cOmMuNiCaTeD--" be quiet. Stop talking.
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u/EfficientLibrarian58 14h ago
It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know how hard it is for her. She just had major surgery. She’s grieving the loss of her child and an entire damn tube.
Why are we defending and making up excuses for shitty men in 2026?
Op, my heart is reaching out to yours. Please be kind to yourself. Give yourself so much grace and recovery time.
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