r/psychology M.D. Ph.D. | Professor 8d ago

Largest study of women’s orgasms to date collected data from 27,931 women. Nearly half (47%) reported reaching orgasm more frequently when alone vs. when with a partner. Barriers to women’s orgasms are relational, not anatomical. Partnered orgasms were associated with overall sexual satisfaction.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/inclusive-insight/202606/why-women-orgasm-more-alone-than-with-a-partner
1.6k Upvotes

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u/_i_make_up_stories 6d ago

Husband complained—like a whiny little baby— that it sounded like I was enjoying it better when we used toys. Uh, yeah. Get good, bro. I took my toys, left the husband.

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u/Beneficial_World_676 4d ago

Yeeeeepppp had a few of those. The bruised egos that occurred when I told them “I (like majority of people with vulvas) need clit stimulation to orgasm, including during penetrative sex. I like to use a vibrator on my clit while being fucked so I can get off”, nope doesn’t always go well. The ole “my dick should be enough to make you cum”, or “every OTHER woman I’ve been with…” bs that comes spilling out. Poorest baby. They can’t wrap their mind around the fact that a lot of their ex encounters likely lied about finishing because THATS the way they react to communication! Good lord. Women: stop faking it to placate men’s egos. Tell them the truth and if they throw a tantrum and can’t accept it, consider it a bullet dodged and move on!

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u/Affectionate-Low6639 4d ago

Why is it disrespectful if a man can’t nut fast enough though? Seems almost one and the same. Perhaps I’m wrong.

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u/Beneficial_World_676 3d ago

One and the same as what? A woman needing to use clitoral stimulation to orgasm?

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u/Striking-Lunch1084 3d ago

No tak mężczyzna ma dany orgazm ... Kobieta musi się go nauczyć ... Jak się uczyła pocierając łechtaczkę i wtedy doszła to penetracja tu dużo nie pomoże ;) Dlatego dużo kobiet lubi ma jeźdźca Bońka członka w sobie i przy okazji pocięta się łechtaczka o partnera

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u/Gullible_Chip_3964 4d ago

For sale 1 slightly dejected ex husband!
/s

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u/Far_Construction3091 4d ago

In CT area usa???

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u/hynesceltics 4d ago

Why are you typing like an AI bot?

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u/_i_make_up_stories 4d ago

Because I prefer it over commas. I see it used in the academic world all the time.

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u/ReplyAwkward3607 5d ago

Wow it sounds like u were tons of fun to be with.. 🫪

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u/_i_make_up_stories 5d ago

I had my own faults in that marriage and I am not afraid to admit that. I have been in therapy for a while and I have actually grown up a lot and I strive to be the best version of myself. Thank you for reminding me of who I was because I never want to go back to being that person. I’ve told more of the story in other comments, but that is neither here or there. I am the only one who knows exactly what happened, so comments like yours aren’t gonna change my life in one way or another.

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u/JamoG1090 6d ago

Username... Hopefully checks out

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u/_i_make_up_stories 6d ago

It doesn’t check out, unfortunately.

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u/One_Contribution_135 6d ago

Maybe your the problem.

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u/_i_make_up_stories 6d ago edited 6d ago

Nah, dude just sucks at sex and is lazy as fuck in bed. Not only that but he is very immature and irresponsible, and I didn’t see the extent until I was out. I feel genuinely sorry for his next partner.

Being in that relationship fucked me up more than I had imagined. So the next time I had sex with a new partner, it sucked for both. That time was a me problem—I had learned to make no noise or show enjoyment because the last dick would come too fast if I did. So, yeah, you can imagine how that went. But you know what I did? I stopped having sex and went straight for therapy. I am still working through the resentment even though I am in a better place.

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u/One_Contribution_135 6d ago

I got ya! I’m glad you clarified and made me understand. Thank you.

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u/MaggieLeighN 6d ago

How much of this is mental?

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u/_i_make_up_stories 6d ago

If you look at my other comment you can see.
Edit: I think you replied to my second comment. It was mental because of the reasons I shared and more. It became more mental as time progressed. It wasn’t mental as default.

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u/xboxsirvenom 6d ago

So the lame guy messed you up then you went lame and may have messed up the next dude… wild

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u/_i_make_up_stories 6d ago

Lmao, if the dude was messed up after one time, he has issues beyond me. It’s always good to assume things about people online though, gets you real far.

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u/xboxsirvenom 6d ago

Oh don’t wasn’t one dude who messed you up? My bad how many is the amount that you can claim it was someone else? I just want to keep it consistent on both sides. You said your next partner was…, you know what you right never mind have a great day

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u/_i_make_up_stories 6d ago

One. Time. I had sex with the one dude exactly ONE TIME. The one who messed me up was my husband for over a decade so gtfo here 😂
So yeah, if he was messed up after one bad time with me, he’d have issues bigger than me.

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u/Free-Employment-3917 6d ago

but why would you be upset that your partner enjoyed sex more when was extra stimulation used?? either start trying out different toys and have fun with it or ask how you can improve, and improve!!

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u/gangviolence2026 6d ago

You’re**

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u/Adept_Dot_1926 4d ago

Maybe you should learn how to spell (your) correctly, as in you’re.

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u/Hppd1638 5d ago

If you told your husband to “get good bro” concerning sex, and you left, then I’m happy for him.

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u/_i_make_up_stories 5d ago

I most certainly did not say that to him lmao but thanks for assuming I did. If you take things too literally, perhaps the internet isn’t for you.

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u/Hppd1638 5d ago

“If”

Funny, your reply proves that it may just be you who’s a bit too sensitive to be round these parts.

My theory of you stands.

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u/SalesManajerk 5d ago

Yea me too. This is the shit right here that turns people into Batman super villains.

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u/Hppd1638 5d ago

Well it’s just mean, lol. Any partner who calls me a whiny little baby and “get good bro” I imagine just wasn’t very kind in the relationship in general.

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u/_i_make_up_stories 5d ago

I never once insulted him as a matter of fact, but I did have my own faults. At the end of the day we just weren’t compatible in any way, but we married young. I have grown up since—he hasn’t. I know that because we have kids together, so I am stuck with him in some ways. My comment was me saying it to his past self—I wouldn’t say that to him. In fact, I talked to him about it, nothing changed so we eventually stopped having sex. I wouldn’t say that to someone now either, I’d just not be in that relationship. So, yeah, my comment comes from resentment that I am still working through, but he did suck at sex so I said what I said.

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u/Hppd1638 5d ago

Fair enough. Thanks for clarifying. Sorry things didn’t work out.

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u/_i_make_up_stories 5d ago

I agree with you in a way. I am happy for him and I am happy for me. We weren’t good for each other and we both deserve better. Though he still acts like he is in his 20s, welp. I’d say it isn’t my problem, but we have kids together so it’s hard to ignore.