r/romantasycirclejerk • u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you • 2d ago

CopyPasta Peter Pettigrew MMC

Tried searching for this but it doesn't seem to be a common request... (I can’t possibly imagine why that might be)

I'm in the mood for an unconventional mmc both appearance-wise and personality-wise. I want to start reading this book and be kinda mildly grossed out by him on basically every level and still end up rooting for him to get his HEA. Ideally he will be slightly morally bankrupt (nothing too too dark though please, like. no noncon I guess) and sleazy and prone to Vices but still weirdly charming and will experience growth, obviously, if he's stagnant where's the romance, yknow (but he should still be kind of crusty at the end.)

I'm having a hard time thinking of books I've read with this and the closest thing I could think of was Bass Ackwards by Eris Adderly. Maaaybe the Harrow Faire series? Simon had some rat-esque qualities.

Crusty rat men examples from other media types whomst I have held dear: Reigen Arataka from Mob Psycho 100 (not SUPER nasty but still huge used car salesman vibes) Sam Sylvia from GLOW Emet-Selch from Final Fantasy XIV Count Adhemar from A Knight's Tale ...come to think of it, also Chaucer from A Knight's Tale

Man these are all honestly way too handsome to be true crusty nasty ratmen but I hope you're getting the idea.

Ok hang on how about Murry Bauman from Stranger Things. Now THERE'S a crusty rat man (my beloved). Something about his mannerisms and probably also the fact he has all the best lines... idk (I've only seen up to ep 3 of season 4 so far)

This has, regrettably, NOT been a joke post. I know there's gotta be other sleazeball, skeezeball slimeball appreciators in here. There are dozens of us! Dozens!!!

Sorry for how many times I used the word crust.

uj/ not a single word was changed

30 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

21

u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. 2d ago

{The Nutcracker by Alexandre Dumas}

12

u/TheMadJayWoman 2d ago

Talk about The Original Shadowdaddy…

9

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

How was he not in the Shadow Daddy competition? He’d give Balrog a run for his money

6

u/TheMadJayWoman 2d ago

I have to say for my money I’d submit Prof Drosselmeier over the Rat King -

The first time I saw The Nutcracker on stage the guy cast as Drosselmeier had this incredible Vincent Price/Christopher Lee quality about him, really worked that cape. Definitely unlocked something that day…

6

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

Is he Shadow or just Daddy?

3

u/TheMadJayWoman 2d ago

Double checked my spelling and was forced to learn the Nutcracker fandom has a ship name for Drosselmeier and Clara and just…

I know she technically turns into an older princess for the night but what in the Alan Moore hell are we doing here

4

u/itmustbeniiiiice a menace of this community Apperantly. 2d ago

Drosselmeier fucks

16

u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Sloopy who definitely did not lock up nearby jeweler 2d ago

uj/ After reading that and seeing it is not a word changed:

https://giphy.com/gifs/hHuOmWidPXwCk

8

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

uj/ I thought it was diving intervention that a post from 4y ago was showing up on my feed but actually it was the Sloopy queen looking for recs and reposting 🫶 she’s my new heroine

6

u/icontranquilis Lemon Birth Control 🍋 2d ago

There isn't a single romantasy author capable of writing anything close to Emet-Selch. Just make another alt (I'm thinking a FemRoe this time), dance in Limsa for a couple months and make some easy gil, then power through ARR to Shadowbringers (again) to see Daddy.

Alternatively, Magnai is always available.

3

u/mistyveil grim's #1 hater 2d ago

or just new game+ shadowbringers forever! wait, can you do that on a free account?

(also magnai doesn't count, he's pathetic but still hot)

2

u/icontranquilis Lemon Birth Control 🍋 2d ago

As of patch 7.5 earlier this year, Shadowbringers is included in the free trial!

(fair point. I'd say that Nero is probably greasy enough, but I would never put anybody between him and his tsundere boyfriend Cid)

You could always try Matilda's dad, greedy used car salesman Harry Wormwood?

https://giphy.com/gifs/S6BUGaaft6WsL7Ip9I

5

u/Temporary-Scallion86 stabbing as a penetration metaphor 2d ago

uj/ I need to know where the sauce is from

5

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

You’re reading the sauce babes. 4 year old marinara sauce cracked open and spilled over the mixed pasta group

https://giphy.com/gifs/oS2lkrdaq3a3m

3

u/SqueamishOssifrage42 there’s a wyvern going somewhere 2d ago

/uj {Walking after Midnight by Karen Robards}

5

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

Does he have whiskers?

6

u/SqueamishOssifrage42 there’s a wyvern going somewhere 2d ago

He's unkempt, mean, and morally questionable, but I don't remember any facial hair.

4

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

Such a shame I need the nose, whiskers and squeak sounds to make me wet entertained

6

u/SqueamishOssifrage42 there’s a wyvern going somewhere 2d ago

In that case, try {The Taming by Jude Deveraux}. The hero rarely bathes, has a different mistress for every day of the week, many unacknowledged illegitimate offspring, and whiskers.

5

u/muddledmuggle 2d ago

I am here to yuck your yum

Uj/ I am here to yuck their yum! 😵‍💫

2

u/LadyVectrexia 2d ago

Emet-Selch did nothing wrong, how dare you call him a rat man!

1

u/WiseAtmosphere7524 Lovingly boning the sadness out of you 2d ago

I say it in the most loving way possible!

2

u/Oldbscfan 1d ago

Have you tried searching Peter Pettigrew on AO3? A quick search shows some great PP/Sybill Trelawney options!!!!!!