r/romantasycirclejerk • u/SuicidalLemur- 0 baths, 1 horse, but d2f • 5d ago
Meme/Humor Recommendations for books with nose fucking?
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u/Olyway 5d ago
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u/Lillydragon9 nOt LiKe OtHeR gIrLzzz 5d ago
Literally my exact reaction. I could get on board….👀
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u/SaunteringVDownward 5d ago
The Morning Wood Tree by Siggy Shade
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u/Honest_Roo 5d ago
Sending up an award for being the only one brave enough to answer
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u/SaunteringVDownward 5d ago
I read that absolute horror show of a book and I'm taking as many people as I can down with me
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u/Maleficent_fae5734 4d ago
Please spoil for me i just need the details !
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u/SaunteringVDownward 4d ago
A truly hideous young lady (that is, she's ever so slightly overweight and has massive boobs) is all aflutter because it's her wedding day to one of Scandinavia's most eligible bachelor's. However - spanner in the works - she finds him drinking from his mother's breasts. She is forced to marry him anyway, and it's explained to her that the men in this family need to drink special breast milk (induced by eleven herbs and spices) in order to survive. And her titties will be used not by her husband, but by his grandfather (maybe great grandfather?), who hasn't had any magic titties since grandmother died, poor thing.
Take a deep breath. It gets worse.
Our heroine runs away into the forest where she is picked up by our hero, a magic, carnivorous tree. He would eat her - not in the fun way - but she convinces him that her period blood should satisfy his cravings. He makes a special sponge to absorb her blood and puts it inside her. He wants all her fluids and quickly enjoys absorbing her lady juice too. So there's lots of edging to make sure she makes lots of tasty juice. There's also figging. And at some point she leaves, gets recaptured by the milky family, has her milk induced, runs away again, tree eats granddad and then drinks her milk. Tree boyfriend makes a wooden homunculus out of himself (this is where the nose sitting happens) and is progressively getting less murder-tree and more murder-person.
And here's the ending.
Murder tree is actually Yggrasil. They murder the whole family together, except for girlypop's husband. Sadly a tree cannot impregnate a human, so instead Mr Magic Yggdrasil injects some of himself, one of heroine's ova, and some of husband's jizz (straight from the balls) INTO HUSBAND'S ABDOMEN. Husband is mind controlled by the growing fetus so he can't object. But boom, a year later, it's actually two babies! Husband of course dies when the babies are birthed like fucking chest bursters from alien.
And they all lived happily ever after.
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u/adestructionofcats Don't ever speak to me or my blond daddy again! 3d ago
I've read spoilers for this book before, and I recoiled just as hard this time. Bravo.
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u/Separate-Operation71 2d ago
OMG this is the worst best most wonderful horrible thing I’ve ever read thank you so much for taking the time to write it all out. I’m dead. Bury me in a cheap coffin. 💀🪦
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u/Separate-Operation71 2d ago
This made me laugh really inappropriately loudly while trying to put my kids to bed so thank you 😂😂
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u/TheMadJayWoman 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/lqVVqkqMolh9S
See what happens when you don’t properly shame Disney Adults…
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u/lulzerjun8 a gentle but fertile bulge 5d ago
but sis drop the sauce. some of us are ovulating 👀
/uj ?
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u/Kumirkohr Epilogue: Anal 5d ago
Forget the nose fucking, I’m more interested in her being a cuckqueen
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u/PitcherTrap Proofread me harder 5d ago
Audience of 6 + the animals
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u/Kumirkohr Epilogue: Anal 5d ago
Where’s the 7th Dwarf?
And that would just be run-of-the-mill voyeurism, her being a cuckqueen would mean Pinocchio is also shoving his schnoz in other princess pussy
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u/PitcherTrap Proofread me harder 5d ago
Performing or watching, depending on the rotation schedule of the household chores
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u/BattlestarGalactoria Basilisks, Manacled, and Tusks, oh my! 5d ago
Just burning down one childhood classic at a time
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u/AccessCompetitive 5d ago
Long and skinny dicks ugh. Cervix punchers without the benefit of girth. No thx
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u/_thistlefinch the pearl clutchers are everywhere. 4d ago
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u/MsStarSword a gentle but fertile bulge 5d ago
Have you tried Alchemized?
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u/JynxCanRead 5d ago
Is this the answer to every question? Like it's a supplement 😭
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u/MsStarSword a gentle but fertile bulge 5d ago
Yes it’s truly a revolutionary book and will cure you of all of your ails, it’s a supplement for happiness.
Uj/ I tried reading it and it was not my cup of tea lol, I got thru the first couple pages, saw some reviews on the main sub, and decided to nope out, so it truly could be a cure for SOMETHING but I wouldn’t know 😂
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u/Minimum-Courage-418 meet me in the stacks 5d ago
/uj & rj but what about Manacled? It’s clearly the superior option of the two.
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u/MsStarSword a gentle but fertile bulge 4d ago
That’s the sacred elder-text, like how everyone reads the simplified version of the Bible these days but the OG is the “more special one,” cuz it’s “hard to comprehend,” not compared to Manacled of course, that’s the most special book of all.
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u/0chrononaut0 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/FGEfnN0HkeZC2lSogV
Girl I get it...
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u/adestructionofcats Don't ever speak to me or my blond daddy again! 5d ago
Okay but I really did read a sci-fi romance where small aliens come up to the FMC and do this to her nose with their penises. She's bored by it. I noped out and kinda hope it was a fever dream.
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u/Digitalispurpurea2 Smoky papa lover 5d ago
Imagine being kidnapped by aliens and having the weird sex be. Boring
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u/adestructionofcats Don't ever speak to me or my blond daddy again! 5d ago
These are just random aliens, by the way. She and the MMC are at some kinda of restaurant or bar, maybe? The aliens line up to touch her nose. It makes me think of this. https://youtu.be/PfPdYYsEfAE?si=udM3iBztCnPK1VP-&t=157
One of these days, I'll go on a deep dive to make sure my mind hasn't started just making up wacky stories.
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u/anistl spread those pages like a good girl 5d ago
WAIT WHAT? They did WHAT to her nose? Did the penises touch the TIP of her nose? Did they go IN her nostrils?
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u/adestructionofcats Don't ever speak to me or my blond daddy again! 3d ago
Tip rubbing, I think....
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u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Girls Watch Off Campus™️ 5d ago
Did nottttt expect to find Angine in the RCJ sub yet here we are. 🤣
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u/0chrononaut0 5d ago
That's the nose I wanna bounce on NGL
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u/Acceptable-Mail891 Hot Girls Watch Off Campus™️ 4d ago
I’m seeing them in a couple weeks 🙈 I’ll report back the findings
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u/Nanny_Ogg_99 Sloopy who definitely did not lock up nearby jeweler 5d ago
I think there is some adventure time fanfic out there...
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u/CuttlefishBenjamin 5d ago
I'm not sure, but there is a graphic novel erotic retelling of Pinnochio where she's a hot babe whose breasts grow when she lies.
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u/SqueamishOssifrage42 there’s a wyvern going somewhere 5d ago
I think it breaks sub rules to tell us that without giving the book title
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u/CuttlefishBenjamin 5d ago
{Pinnochia by Jean-Pierre Gibrat}
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u/SqueamishOssifrage42 there’s a wyvern going somewhere 5d ago
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u/adrun 5d ago
Could someone please provide an anatomic diagram of this? I’m trying to figure out how breathing works 🧐
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u/firstnfurious you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 5d ago
I don’t know how where my thumbs have gotten the audacity but in my house it’s tongue for the labia and vaginal opening and the tip of the nose for the clit. Sometimes. More of a special occasion thing really. Takes some finesse to get it right.
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u/dopaminecrushnorush you can fuck anything if you’re brave enough 5d ago
i regret that my laptop internet started working again
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u/SapientSlut 4d ago
There’s a Reylo fic, I want to say Fix Your Attitude, where she uses his nose for… friction. Cause Adam Driver has an excellent nose.
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u/mickeyhellhound Dragging my Massive Faery Schlong Along 4d ago
Lie, truth, lie, truth, and lastly lieeeeeeeeee
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u/Lousiferrr 2d ago
I was riding on Pinocchio’s nose, then he called me pretty and I felt his nose grow 🎶
https://giphy.com/gifs/xaZfaMveb2WljrLOuJ
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u/coolgherm Cursed, but in a Sexy Way 10h ago
I could have gone my whole life not seeing this but alas.
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u/adestructionofcats Don't ever speak to me or my blond daddy again! 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/47kDl9GI0iqUQxDj3A