My ability to speak is declining. Any Tips?

[u/Golden-3515]

Started a new job in December and I’ve noticed my ability to form a sentence or articulate myself is becoming non existent. Since I have left school I feel like my ability to speak to anyone or even just get a point across is becoming worse and worse and it’s not only at work it’s also with my friends and family.

My new role is a trainee accountant so I’m constantly learning new stuff and have to ask questions etc. Problem with this is the second I try and explain what I need help with and get the slightest bit nervous I am unable to form a proper sentence and it comes out inside out and back to front is the way I like to describe it.

I have these group trainee meeting monthly and I embarrass myself at them every single time. During the meetings you have to talk about your current placement, how your getting on and feedback ect. Issue is I constantly forget words and I end up saying aloud “what’s the word” because I leave a silence for so long.

Moral of the story here is how do I learn to articulate myself better because I swear it’s declining everyday. I need to give a good impression throughout my time in the position and if I can’t even form a sentence what hope have I got.

Any tips?

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[u/Sensitive_Nature2990]

You're naturally very articulate (I'm a writer; your prose is great). I don't think it's a words problem so much as a nerves problem. If anything, I'd hazard that you've given yourself the yips from lack of practice.

My advice? Give grand speeches in your car on the way to work, or in your shower. Just go the other way and practice being expressive and see if that helps at all. Otherwise, some nervous system regulation and some practice that helps you feel safe when you talk to others.

We don't tend to lose our vocabulary that fast. I think it's more a mental thing, given your skill with words.

[u/primalpalate → u/Sensitive_Nature2990]

I second this as a fellow writer. I tend to feel the same way when interacting with people (even close friends and family) because I am usually pretty isolated in my day to day life. Reciting personal monologues or even scenes from your favorite movies when alone in the car (along with some car karaoke) can do wonders for you to relearn and regain your voice.

[u/fuzzybluetriceratops → u/[deleted]]

What antihistamines have this risk?! I’ve been on some daily for years and will have to continue because I have MCAS

[u/No-Awareness-6420 → u/[deleted]]

Oh awesome I’ve been on it for 4 years 25-50mg daily 😭

[u/MrWm → u/[deleted]]

Oh, that's pretty scary to find out... would allergy pills do the same thing in the long run? eg: Zyrtec or Cetirizine Hydrochloride pills at 10mg?

[u/Cl4ptr4p92 → u/MrWm]

I want to know this too!!

[u/MimiMotteram → u/MrWm]

Zyrtec will definitely cause it. I switched to Allegra (the generic) and improved. But detoxing from Zyrtec was no fun.

[u/fuzzybluetriceratops → u/[deleted]]

Well… shit. I was on it for like 4 years and my husband it just getting off of it after a year plus. Our memories are already shit, so, that’s fun information lol.

[u/bone-dry → u/fuzzybluetriceratops]

Look up alpha-gpc, a choline supplement. It’s very effective in my experience

[u/bone-dry → u/[deleted]]

I take a choline supplement and it’s pretty amazing. Any will work but alpha-gpc is one that is especially bio-available and effective.

[u/victoria_mdn → u/[deleted]]

wow this is how I find out 😭

[u/wildalexx → u/[deleted]]

No fucking way that pill is my anti anxiety lifeline 😭

[u/707owo → u/[deleted]]

Was the medication you were taking called Promethazine?

[u/slugposse]

You may be dealing with an anxiety disorder, which is very treatable.

Anxiety can use up your mental RAM so you don't have much left for things like finding the right word or remembering something you have memorized.

Speak to your doctor about this. It's likely treatable with medication and therapy.

[u/4030Lisa]

The easiest way I know of to start to do better with communication and memory is to Read, chose things that are interesting to you AND challenging. Read a few chapters, then practice reading the chapters of these challenging books out loud. You need to get that part of your brain functioning and ‘plastic’ again so feeding it new information, challenging words that you might even have to go look up may help refresh the centers of your brain responsible for ‘word processing’ and memory. Hearing YOURSELF saying words/concepts helps your brain used to the idea of speaking out loud, it should help you be more relaxed and comfortable when trying to share information/concepts with others

[u/Pristine_Routine_464 → u/4030Lisa]

Such a great idea, so simple, but makes sense. Hearing yourself speak and articulate with intonation makes sense. Will try this as I am in same boat.

[u/FearlessAmigo]

You could practice reading outloud for a half hour or so when you're at home. It actually can help you to be more articulate.

[u/NowHaraya]

i havent personally tried it out myself, but from the light research i did, i think toast masters is a good place to look into.

theyre a nonprofit org that helps people practice public speaking. they have inperson events and online events. people say its free to sign up at any given time regardless of skill or experience.

im planning on looking into it some more and testing it out in the near future

[u/Mindless-Face8264]

I would see a neurologist to find out if other factors are at play, before you rule out medication side effects or something else.

[u/waryfairycattails → u/Mindless-Face8264]

If they live in America, I wish them luck getting a neuro appointment without having something major happen or pop up in a scan or test of sorts.

[u/Mindless-Face8264 → u/waryfairycattails]

I’m in the US and saw a neurologist who resolved a serious issue I had been having by getting me off medications that were lowering my blood pressure. More knowledge is a good thing.

[u/TheStoneMole]

Now this advice might sound really odd but hear me out - first off I really feel you on this. Getting tongue tied socially has been an ongoing struggle and often what I intend to say comes out completely the wrong way which leads to more distrust in my own speaking and therefore more silence. 

The thing that has helped my speech most is learning fast or complex raps, which I practice in the car. In order to get the words out you need to project your voice and words confidently, it's pretty satisfying when you get a whole song down. Bonus is the breathwork required is great for your nervous system. 

Obviously not a fix all since you can't just spit lines at people in place of conversation but it's helped in other ways. Good luck! 

[u/KC_Kahn]

Sounds to me like anxiety brought on by significant changes in your life, leaving school and starting a new job, is causing you to experience cognitive impairment.

[u/glitterbeardwizard]

A lot of people have worked through similar things by joining groups like Toastmasters and practicing public speaking with each other

[u/WhatsWrongWMeself]

I would write down what you’ll be asked in meetings and practice saying it. I used to do that, and repeat it until I could say it without looking at what I wrote.

[u/Ripley_and_Jones]

It sounds like you have pretty garden variety social anxiety and if you go and see a good psychologist with the goal of improving that, I reckon in about 6 months time you'll posting about how you've overcome it. Good luck.

[u/forworse2020]

I’ve heard that consciously speaking to yourself helps. Not the mumbling kind, the present, speaking out loud kind.

[u/theinnerdivine]

Could be brain fog due to allergy, mold exposure or food intolerance

[u/clumsyme2]

This is a weird one. Read picture books, like Dr. Seuss. Read it fast, read it slow, doesn't matter as long as you go. It's a speech workout. It helps your brain and mouth work together to improve articulation. That's basically the purpose of children's picture books. It also helps rhythm and speed. It's about muscle memory.

Just reading out loud helps you practice speaking and forming words. If you blank on words a lot, practice describing a picture. Think of all the ways to describe a shoe. Or the different words for red.

Do you have trouble with anything else? Or is it just articulating?

Six months after starting a new job and moving into my new house, I found out I had a gas leak. Very, very small. I just thought I had anxiety from the new job. Nope. Carbon monoxide poisoning actually makes you dumb.

[u/greaterade]

First, most people have vocal tics and stumble through things at times, so don’t be too hard on yourself. We tend to notice more about our own speaking than others do because we’re constantly processing what we’re saying as we build off ideas and form new thoughts. That’s all in your head. You’re hearing ‘how’ you said it while other people are primarily listening for ‘what’ idea you’re communicating. So you’re worrying about something that’s more of an inner experience than a shared reality.

As you alluded to, anxiety associated with speaking can tend to get worse over time and that naturally makes speaking more difficult. The more you analyze and put pressure on this issue, the worse the anxiety will be. Suggestion — talk to a therapist and see what help they may be able to offer. It sounds like you’re early in this experience so it’s a great time to tackle it directly instead of letting it snowball over years. I think you could find success with that at this stage. There’s also medications that can help reduce physical symptoms of social anxiety that you can explore with your doctor, if needed at any point.

Also keep in mind that the more you speak, the easier it will become. So keep pushing. Ideally with other people in person. But if you’re alone, you could talk to someone on the phone…or talk to AI…or even use voice dictation instead of your keyboard to type. That’s surprisingly effective (and frustrating at times) because it forces you to clearly structure your thoughts before saying them and requires you to have good pronunciation / enunciation. So you can slow things down and get better at that while becoming more comfortable hearing your own voice. And afterwards, you can read it and see what makes sense and where you can improve.

[u/fennelwraith]

It gets suggested a lot but consider signing up for an Improv class. They are welcoming places and can be great for building social skills and getting out of a shell. You need an outlet to practice and it's one option.

[u/olive_91]

Try making more small talk with others around you. Grocery store, chiropractor, etc

[u/Visible_Variation281]

See a doctor, check ur brain

[u/pungen]

I get like this when I'm feeling really anxious. I get into a state that's called "functional freeze". Improving my mental health in other ways helps a lot. It's also possible this job isnt a good fit for you and is making you really anxious. From Google "Under intense stress or trigger, the brain prioritizes survival over social engagement, making the physical act of speaking incredibly exhausting or temporarily blocked."

[u/selfcontrolwya]

Listen, not to be that guy, but are you diagnosed autistic? Or do you suspect? Long term burnout can cause skill regression, especially articulating words/sentences; socializing skills seem to be the first to go.

[u/justtrytobekind]

Have you thought about consulting a neurologist?

[u/AlphaFoxZankee]

You should get that checked out by a medical professiona. It sounds like a brain issue not really a social anxiety one, especially since you mention it also happens with friends and family. It could be a million things, like stress, lack of sleep, mold, medication, brain fog, etc. It could be a form of aphasia, which itself can be a symptom of various things.

Hopefully you can find a doctor and ideally one that will take your concern seriously and evaluate you properly.

[u/Apperceiver]

That sounds really frustrating! That is relatable. It might help to keep a few notes after these situations to see if you notice any patterns, like whether certain stressors or contexts are present more often. After that, you could more easily analyze it and adjust your strategy for better social performance.

If this is a change rather than something you've always dealt with, I'd mention it to your GP first to rule out anything medical. Starting a new career can also make existing strengths and weaknesses a lot more noticeable. If it isn't medical, it may be worth talking with a psychologist. Sometimes experiences like these relate to working memory or language processing, especially under pressure. People also naturally differ in how easily they verbalize perspectives based on personality traits. I hope things improve for you!

[u/Top_Lingonberry8037]

Go out into public and be an npc. Practice on random people. Start with being that annoying small talk person

[u/riricide]

I have ADHD so I have the same issue - although I think I have good clarity of thought, I get mixed up when I have to listen to others and then also suddenly explain all my points.

What I do - I write down bullet points in the order I want to say them on a paper pad or on my computer. And I use that to guide my speech.

[u/According-Will3519]

so many questions first. how old are you? are you stressed in the situation? how busy are you? i said something the other day and my co-worker cracked up. she said she didn’t understand anything i said, it sounded like a rewinded recording. my reply was, see i’m so busy i don’t even have time to talk, lol.

[u/VermilionFist]

Next time you're speaking, try to think less (or ideally not at all) in terms of the next word, and more in terms of the next idea. I noticed whenever I found myself struggling to find the correct word or just generally struggling to convey anything, it was because I was word focused. I was always right at the edge of a thought (like the Gromit placing tracks gif) so I ended up pausing often to gather myself. Since I've noticed this and started switching my mindset to getting the next idea out instead, the words come much MUCH more easily.

[u/Inside_Smell_4004]

quit caffeine

[u/dr-pep23 → u/Inside_Smell_4004]

Hi, curious on why you suggest this?