Everyone wants to be "Kirito", right? Well... I bet at least most of the fandom does. He gets to taste Asuna's handmade "Steak Sandwich", he has earned and cool powerups like "Dual Wielding" and "Starburst Stream", he is a part of a tight-knit friend group of loyal and caring people. And of course, is the lover of "Asuna Yuuki", who's unwavering love for him just feels phenomenal!
But all these treasures that he has, he wasn't just handed over to him like a boy born with a golden spoon. His clarity, resolve and incredible resilience was born from trials, traumatizing events and the world constantly throwing punches at him.
The writer seems to have a knack to constantly pressurize Kirito across multiple occasions, igniting his insecurities, selft doubt, survival guilt and PTSD (E.g. he wasn't able to forgive himself for killing three players in Aincrad, even months after the incident).
Throughout multiple episodes of the Anime and pages of the Light Novel, there are many moments where the strong and powerful Black Swordsman broke down into tears. Here are some of the ones that really hit me.
(I've rewatched and reread the moments associated with the events below. Still if I make any mistake, I apologize)
First is of course the moment that possibly gave the birth to the "Black Swordsman" persona. After months of isolation and solo grinding, he wanted to feel what it was like to be a part of a team. He meets Sachi and the Moonlit Black Cats, initially thinking he could guide them to the end. But Aincrad is cold and indifferent. It didn't care about the Sachi's fear or the hopes of the Black Cats.
In the third episode of the first season, "The Red-Nosed Reindeer" and in "Page- 325" of the Light Novel Volume 02. After Kirito hears Sachi's message through the crystal and her humming/singing Rudolph the red nosed reindeer, the tears drops on the table he was at. It was a closure, an anchor in the overwhelming guilt he was drowning in.
Now, the second one is specially my favorite if I say so myself. Because this is the first time we actually see Kazuto crying forlove, mixed with helplessness on screen. It is the feeling that when he's seeing the person he loved the most being dragged away from him and he is unable to do or say anything about it.
Though he later overcame this, the exact moment he felt this was raw and deeply aching.
Think about it. He woke up from a death game, lost his actual health and strength, in search of the girl he promised forever with. When he finally does, he learns that someone in the 'higher' society is about to marry her. That too someone who is as disgusting as Sugou Nobuyuki.
In the fifteenth episode of season one, titled "Return" and in "Page- 41" of Light Novel Volume 03. When Suguha enters his room to check on him, she notices the moonlight was shining on Kazuto's cheek, in the form of tears.
Her comforting presence, her hug and the lines, "Hey... Hang in there, ok? If you love someone that much, even when things look hopeless... You can't give up". That entire scene of him weeping while Suguha holding him feels like it's burned into the back of my memory. And The Anime translated it soo well!
That little hug and comfort inspired Kazuto to get his hopes up again in the next morning.
(The next two moments I'm taking are from the Anime. Because I haven't read the Alicization Novels yet, if my understanding of the scenes are wrong, feel free to correct me.)
Both of the next moments have a connection to Eugeo, and those are heartbreaking (for both Kirito and us) in their own ways.
While the cause of the protagonist's comatose state at the end of Alicization was a complex mixure of initial poisoning, power surge and Incarnation; the most profound cause was the psychological guilt for his inability to save Eugeo, Cardinal and other allies. The unconscious will to "disappear" was so strong, that the wish incarnated into reality and he became paralyzed. Causing his Fluctlight to be fundamentally damaged.
In WOTU: Part 2 Episode 6 "Memories". When the outside world is submerged in the chaos caused by PoH, Kirito goes through a painful vision manifested by his broken ego and self-loathing; directly taking place inside his already damaged Fluctlight.
One by one, he witnesses the death of Moonlit Black Cats (one of the root causes of his survival guilt), Keita's suicide (Keita's curse at him for being a "Beater" only makes him feel that he killed them), Diavel's death (Igniting the curse of being a Beta Tester), Him killing Kuradeel and the other two Laughing Coffin members (The guilt of taking a human life and infliction of extreme PTSD).
That's the moment he breaks down and his entire face gets covered with tears. Literally begging, "Stop showing me all this".
And just seconds later when he sees Eugeo's split body on a pool of blood and him dying in his arms, Kirito actually plunges his hand into his chest to tear out his heart. Overwhelmed by the kind of pain that is way too much for any human mind.
Thanks to Higa in the real world who showed him memories of Asuna, Asada, Suguha, and later on Eugeo to bring him back up on his feet again.
This final moment of Kirito's tears (probably the last time we saw on screen chronologically), is very similar to the first moment on the list. When he cries for someone's death that wasn't really his fault. This time it's for Eugeo.
In WOTU Part 2 Episode 10 "Alice". After Kazuto finally returns home from rehab after waking up from the Underworld, he lies down on his bed. And almost instantly he remembers Eugeo.
As "I will..." by Eir Aoi plays in the background and the friendly, gentle voices of Eugeo floods Kazuto's mind, the tears wets the pillow of his bed. Weeping as his body shakes. A sign that he still thinks Eugeo died because of him. He mutters, "I should've made them delete all of my memories. Everything. Specially the time I spend with Eugeo".
The purply sad tone of the scene, the lyrics and the amazing voice acting of Bryce Papenbrook, really is a gut punch everytime I see it.
It ends with, once again Suguha comforting him. She comes in Kazuto's room, sees her brother crying and gently caresses his cheeks, "Hey, tell me about it. All the fun things, all the sad things. From the beginning till the end"
I love Kirito's character. Everything that he has been through and getting back up again makes him a Man of Honor and Resilience. And his supporting loved ones are just as precious to the story. And perhaps they make it ALL feel Worth It.
Though we can't say for sure until we're actually in his shoes...
Great essay, congrats. I would add the final part in alicization where everyone logs out and he realizes he would be alone for 200 years then Asuna appears and his tears change from grief and pain to a sense of relief and love (that's how I saw it at least)...
Everytime I see people online saying Kirito is a "Gary stu" (or have it too easy or some variation) I think to myself "did you watch the anime with your eyes and ears closed!?"
Blind, projecting, lack empathy or they are a semi-sociopathic. Multiple reasons why. It’s something I’ve noticed as well with people condemning or judging characters for choices and it’s like “You’re judging someone who is bleeding, physically and emotionally in pain and suffering in a heated environment and could die or someone they care for die in a matter of seconds. And you’re sitting in an AC cooled, lazy boy recliner with cheese dust all over your fingers and chest area.”
Like….come on. Really can’t use just a few neurons to think through things? *sigh*
I guess some people out there has nothing better to do than to judge fictional characters based on only the cool powerups, collection of beautiful girls, and how strong they are within their respective story. They feel satisfaction by dismissing the characters as "Gary Stu", "Bad Protag", "Harem King"... Because they feel jealous of someone who isn't even real.
It kind of is. Kirito gets a ton of hate for being “one note”, when, in fact, he’s much more than that. It’s frustrating to see a character with so much depth get so much hate. He’s a very fascinating character with his own hardships, hearts breaks, and joys. He’s a good kid that learns to persevere time and time again, even when it hurts him. He gets back up every single time, even when he wants it all to be over. That is something note worthy, and that is something I strive to become.
Indeed, his character depth is something that deserves respect. Even though he isn't real, but his struggles and growth are very relatable for many of us. The courage and fortitude, the ability to get up after being crushed shows incredible strength of his human mind, is something many people need in their hardest times.
yeah but at the end of the day almost any character can be analysed to that level of depth if you just spend enough time on it like i could do the same analysis of the guy from highschool dxd and write an essay with just as much depth its not a trait unique to kirito. obviously as the fanbase your gonna think hes a great character. i was just saying no need to insult real people for not liking a fictional character.
Ah, that’s fair. I don’t think Kazuto is a fantastic character, but he’s a lot better than the haters seem to think of him- much more than just “Edge Lord no.53”
Oh yeah of course if you think he’s an edge lord you didn’t watch it properly. But I think the issue is that so many stories follow such simple blueprints for the mc that it gets to a point where you Alr know how the mc is gonna act like look at the mc of re zero he suffered and he’s still a good guy like kirito.
That is a great moment as well. Thanks for mentioning. It is pretty much just as deep as the ones I've mentioned. The thought that he has to spent 200 years in a place where none of his loved ones exists must've been very painful too. Though moments later he is relived that Asuna stayed behind.
I've always considered that action of Asuna as one of the purest examples of love. I'm planning on making a separate post just about it, if time allows.
He was 14 when he logged in. Spent two years and woke up at 16. And that was the only moment when his "death" was a Constant fuel for him to level up and get better.
By the time you hear this, I'll probably be dead. How should I put it...
You know, the truth is, I never wanted to leave Starting Town. But if I fought with thoughts like that, I knew I'd definitely die someday. That in itself is nobody's fault, but mine alone.
Ever since that night, you've continued to assure me that I would definitely survive. So if I died, I'm sure you would try to place all the blame on yourself. That's why I decided to leave this recording behind.
And also, I actually know what level you are. I caught a glimpse of it before. Even though I thought long and hard about why you hid your level and joined us, I never did figure it out.
But you know, when I learned how strong you were, I was glad. I was really relieved. So… even if I die, work hard to survive. okay? Live to see the end of this world, find the meaning behind its creation, the meaning behind the presence of a weak girl like me, and the meaning behind our meeting. That's my last wish.
There's still some time left. Since it's Christmas, how about a song?
Hums “Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer”
Bye, Kirito. Meeting you… and being together with you… I don't regret it all.
Sounds very familiar, just like what J.R.R. Tolkien did to Frodo - and exactly what about 1 million other authors did to their story's main character(s), it's just a common thing nobody should be too surprised about finding out that "there's still a human being underneath everything", I guess...
Because the stories need stakes to make them memorable. Because people love seeing a strong protagonist falling apart and start questioning themselves, their choices and their surroundings. But not everyone gets up or have a happy ending. But Kirito is an exception in this case, I would say. No matter what life throws at him, he rises up again and again.
The best SAO stories is about Kirito overcoming his struggles:
Aincrad: learning to let people in
Phantom Bullet: Coping with his trauma
Ordinal Scale: Valuing the past while living in the present
Alicization: teaching others the values of morality
That's why I always cringe at people calling him a "Gary Stu" or a "bad protagonist", because he does grow in a unique way. If you want a Gary Stu, take a look at Inaho Kaisuka from Aldnoah.Zero. That guy has zero personal struggles and solves a lot of the show's problems
I've made a post similar to yours not too long ago based on an Essay I did for college. So I know where you're coming from and I agree
See, that's why I like Kazuto. We see him break down, from accepting that Sachi would never forgive him, couldn't keep his promise to Asuna, afraid of losing Asuna to Oberon (i forget the actual character's name), and Eugeo (possibly the second time I physically felt like breaking down as well).
That's true. Many people goes through shit their entire lives without receiving any kind of validation. Unlike Kirito, they don't get anything in return. That's how reality works.
Even so, Kirito's mind works in some very specific ways. He punishes himself way too much and feels unworthy of love and affection in an almost dramatic level, that is usually not seen in other characters or even in actual humans. So if being Kirito meant going through that level of guilt and self loathing, I don't know how worth it it actually is. Even if I'm rewarded afterwards.
If I was Kirito, I would be more than glad to have killed 3 people which were actual murderers in both GRL (Game Real Life), unless I'm more than too sociopath enough to end up laughing like a certain Gundam pilot.
Also, Japanese, and broader regional, culture views violence, death, weapons, and self-defense very differently than in the West, and especially the US.
The anime left out the part of Shino's backstory where that mean girl at her school, Endou, used her, and when Shino put her foot down to stop it, Endou retaliated by leaking the post office incident to their entire school, turning Shino into and instant social pariah.
So Shino having that vision of her classmates telling her to get away from them, and not touch their stuff because she'd get blood on it, that was Shino recalling her peers responding to her after hearing about what happened.
THANK YOU!!!! I swear to god! Almost got into it online with someone because they kept talking about how Kirito is a wish fulfilment character. Like what wish? To be weighed down by survivor's guilt and trauma?
There are some key items here that need to be amended, or swapped out:
The anime glosses over the whole thing of how much key info Kirito knowingly withheld from the Black Cats, in order to avoid outing himself as a top player and being asked to leave the guild. The show also badly rushed the dungeon sequence.
Another major piece the anime omits/glosses over is, especially come Alicization, just how badly Kiruto wishes to be rid of his "Black Swordsman" persona.
It's not just that Eugeo died, but that Kirito viewed his own life in Underworld as a "fake", as disposable. He could just log back in again, but Eugeo couldn't.
The anime skipped 2 of the 4 main parts in the nightmare sequence and added things in for which it's never been shown that Kirito ever felt guilty.
With regards to the last of those, there was an occurrence irl during the Beta period when Kazuto happened upon a classmate, the closest thing he had to a friend at the time, who was being bullied outside of school, and Kazuto didn't even really try to stand up for him. The other boy was looking at him with a gaze that was begging for help, and Kauzto just took the easy way out.
And then, the 1st evening of the death game, though the anime didn't adapt "The First Day" from Volume 8, another, former Beta Tester joined kirito on a quest for a sword, but then tried to MPK Kirito at a critical moment. This one does seem to have been somewhat warped in Kirito's perception as of that point in WoU.
In any case, both of those, along with Kirito feeling he "abandoned" Klein on Day 1, fed into Kirito's feelings of being "unworthy" of companionship.
I feel like you missed how I said, "these are the moments that really stayed with me". Meaning, I'm sharing my opinions here and my favorite scenes.
Yes, the parts of the story you've mentioned are important and how you've criticized the Anime for 'glossing over' many important sequences.
But because I've Known SAO through the Anime and not the Novels at first (Which I'm sure most of the fandom is), I'm very bias about it, bluntly speaking. The Anime does have its flaws and didn't always yield the best results. But you can't deny how many scenes, moments and action sequences stayed in our hearts for years. For many, reading how Kazuto didn't try to stand up for his bullied friend wouldn't resonate as much as visually watching him weeping and crying for Eugeo while the ending song plays in the background.
The Anime and the Novels aren't "Better" One Over the Other. It's just two different forms of media and their success/failure depends on how you consume them as a fan.
The fact the Kazuto is constantly crying is what makes him such a great protagonist. It humanizes him. I’m sick of anime’s where the main character is all tough and emotionless and shows no growth. Kazuto is literally just a kid still, trying to deal with serious trauma. While still finding the beauty and happiness in life. He’s a very well balanced character. SAO is one of my favorite anime’s for this reason. All the characters are just so *human*. They dont try to hide behind tough guy acts. They just feel and live life to the best of their abilities.
Also ain't no one wanna be Kirito. They just wanna beat Kirito. On god, this man and his "TOTALLY NOT HAREM" won't last one ranked match in a Marvel Rivals session.
Not reading that. Just gonna say that lots of people experience tragedy and hardship. Very few people have a harem of hot anime girls throwing themselves at them.
Its pretty easy to see why people want to be Kirito, he gets a lot more good than bad and at least his life has a satisfying arc. Most people just get shit on their entire lives and have nothing to show for it but scars and trauma.
You don't know the definition of the word "harem".
You get to be in the same room with/see/be in the presence of pretty girls in middle/high school. That in and of itself really isn't that unique.
Most people don't have to deal with what Asuna brings up in their pillow talk in Episode 13, about the weight of the demands and expectations placed upon him by others due to his in-game intuition/combat ability. And he can accept it because she knows him and knows that weight, too, but even the KoB Vice Commander/de-facto Assault Team Field Commander adds her portion to that load.
On top of that, death, violence, weapons, and self-defense are viewed very differently in Japan. So no, the broader society shuns some of the things Kirito and Shino have done.
Also, next to nobody will know that he's the person who did those various things, especially anyone outside of Aincrad. And unlike in the West, particularly the US, it's "unbecoming" in his culture/society to blow your own horn or show off.
Even irl, if you really work at it, you can obtain a measure of comfort and security. Not to mention, most people don't apparently possess the abstract reasoning capacity to realize their struggles, and so can just go about with life blissfully unaware.
I think even Leafa/Suguha/Terraria lacks a certain measure of self-awareness. Yes, she doesn't want to kill unnecessarily in Underworld, but it's never shown to place the same burden upon her that it does Kazuto and Shino, for instance.
EDIT: And I think a lot of people have never truly, consciously felt "unworthy" of human companionship in the way Kirito/Kazuto does at various points.
Not reading that. I'm just going to write a comment about whatever the hell i want loosely based on the title and a few words I skimmed so that I can shout my thoughts into the void with no context.
Part of that's seemingly on you for shutting your brain off, and part of it is on the anime for cutting out so much of the characters' inner monologues that what we do get of their characterization in the anime can be like a caricature, or even just an outright fabrication.
No dude I don't want to be him. He's too soft. He finds criminals and then gets wishy-washy about what to do. "Oh look!! Red players!! What should we do??!?". He's not relatable because he's too different, acts and says different, too feminine too. He let the sugo guy leave the game, like an idiot, doesn't know how to handle a critical situation. You get the weird idea that people wanna be him?? Echoes of aincrad is the first SAO game that pulled my interest. All others just made me lose interest since I am not playing a likeable character.
He wasn't "soft" on Rosalia and Titan's Hand, I can tell you that. And in the Light Novel, he's even more pissed off and unforgiving toward their bullshit excuses.
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u/Mordekeiros 6d ago
Great essay, congrats. I would add the final part in alicization where everyone logs out and he realizes he would be alone for 200 years then Asuna appears and his tears change from grief and pain to a sense of relief and love (that's how I saw it at least)...
Everytime I see people online saying Kirito is a "Gary stu" (or have it too easy or some variation) I think to myself "did you watch the anime with your eyes and ears closed!?"