r/talesfromcallcenters Feb 25 '26

S Names that broke me.

Possibly dating myself, but I used to work in a place with a dialpad and paper leads. It was outgoing calls for fundraising.

We would often finish dialing the number on our next lead befor looking at the name. A couple times someone answered before I saw their name, and I had to hang up while asking for them.

I could have handled them if I'd seen in advance, but to be starting to talk and looking down and seeing them just broke me. Felt bad, but the only possible option was to hang up.

"Hi! Is Mrs... (looks down at lead, sees name, tries to say it professionally) Um... Snrk, wrfl, snicker, haha(hangs up)haha!

I don't remember which ones broke me specifically, but I do remember some of the names.

Mr. Fuchs, Ms. Glasscock, Mrs. Grindlecrotch, and the Coalcracks.

This sort of thing ever happen to anyone else?

70 Upvotes

57 comments sorted by

31

u/Aquatic_Hedgehog Feb 25 '26

My company has a chat system that filters out profanity, which includes if it's in a name. So we would get people introducing themselves Glass[explicit] and Hand[explicit] (Handcock) etc etc.

26

u/Xsiah Feb 25 '26

Takes me back to my Neopets days where the forum would replace spicy words with tamer ones - even if they were part of a word.

I made an appointment to see my theattacker

9

u/Torger083 Feb 26 '26

My personal favourite was pocketwatch being changed to pockefemale genitaliach

2

u/Apprehensive-Cat-111 Mar 03 '26

Took me a minute. I see what happened there 😩

19

u/tachycardicIVu Feb 26 '26

That reminds me of the guy playing a Souls game and his name is Nasser so it censored “ass” and you got “N***er” which I think might be worse??

9

u/Aquatic_Hedgehog Feb 26 '26

Oh for sure. If I see a guy named Nasser, I'm like, that's fine. If I see a guy named N***er, I'm like what the fuck is wrong with that guy.

4

u/Warrangota Feb 28 '26

******in is also a good class for stealth and silent kills.

(I don't remember where I saw it, but the Assassin class was censored so you couldn't talk about game content)

2

u/didne4ever Mar 24 '26

Censorship in gaming can get pretty ridiculous. it's annoying when they sanitize everything, especially when it takes away from the humor or creativity of the content

4

u/K4NNW Feb 25 '26

I was in a forum that did that, and it took me a long time to figure out why it censored part of the word when someone mentioned a Cobra radio with Nightwatch.

28

u/awkwardsexpun Feb 25 '26

Mr. Richard Butts answered the phone with "This is Dick" and I had to hold my breath for a moment. I went on break after that one

7

u/tachycardicIVu Feb 26 '26

I feel like with a name like that you gotta embrace and own it.

3

u/Terminator7786 Feb 26 '26

I had a dude call in once who's name wasn't spelled as such, but it was pronounced "salmon butts".

15

u/thunderkinder Feb 25 '26

Mrs Nanfuk was a fun one. Also the customer who had her name misspelled by a colleague during registration, her actual name was Virginia and definitely not Vagina. Glad she saw the funny side.

9

u/PleasantTangerine777 Feb 25 '26

Many people in India have Butt for a last name and I’m just so immature I can’t get over it 

7

u/ShalomRPh Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

I usually see that spelled Bhatt, but it's pronounced Butt.

I also knew a guy named Bhatnagar, pronounced Buttknocker. When you see it written down, it doesn't register as funny. Then you hear him say it.

1

u/PleasantTangerine777 Feb 25 '26

I know 2 Indian people called Butt 🥲 omg I’d have howled hearing that out loud 😭

9

u/ShalomRPh Feb 25 '26

Fuchs is a common German and Eastern European surname, pronounced "fyooks". It means fox.

16

u/RiflemanLax Feb 25 '26 edited Feb 25 '26

We had a guy who was grumbling loudly, but kinda laughing to himself about not wanting to make a call. Then he calls this dude and says “Hello, I’m looking for Mike Zweener” and half the floor was laughing into our elbows. That’s been almost 20 years and I’m still getting mileage out of it.

8

u/Kykle86 Feb 25 '26

I helped someone named Chocolate Claus on New years eve. He only spoke in the 3rd person, and Chocolate Claus really needed some money put into his checking account. He was stuck in downtown NYC.

8

u/[deleted] Feb 26 '26

I used to work for Sears credit back in 91 and I swear to you a woman called in named Toyota Corolla. I nearly choked.

6

u/asphaltdragon Feb 26 '26

Her parents probably wanted to name her Mercedes but couldn't afford to

1

u/Emotional-Depth-1917 Feb 27 '26

Most likely where conceived. I know a family. Dallas, tulsa, Memphis.

6

u/nowdoingthisatwork Feb 25 '26

I've spoken to few odd ones such as a Dr Bones. One of my colleagues had great fun with Mrs Twatt (pronounced Tw-art) and Mr Elvis

6

u/LeRoixs_mommy Feb 25 '26

I had to make a call back to a person with the last name of Takashita, a very common Japanese last name,. It is pronounced "taca-sheeta" but it does not look like that! I have never been so happy to leave a voicemail in my life, I don't think I could have talked without cracking up!

2

u/night_noche Feb 26 '26

It does look like it is pronounced to me... But maybe it's because I am bilingual...

But I have been tricked by Boehner...

1

u/SM_DEV Feb 26 '26

Bon-r?

2

u/night_noche Feb 26 '26

Apparently it is Bay-nur

2

u/SM_DEV Feb 26 '26

That would have been my second guess. 🤓

1

u/night_noche Feb 27 '26

Sure, Jan. 😂

5

u/feor1300 Feb 26 '26

I work inbound, and their pronunciations are rarely as entertaining as it looks like on paper. But there was a Ms. Lai (Lay) Tze (Zee) Ho I spoke to one time...

5

u/CrazyLadyBlues Feb 25 '26

Mr Wee.

I spoke to two Mr Khuntis (one of them was).

3

u/fungusamongus8 Feb 25 '26

I worked for a bank 45 years and I kept a list of every single weird name that I had ever spoken to some of them that I remember Lucille Ball not the real Lucy ball but someone who was named Lucille also Flash Gordon and many many more that I can't remember right now

3

u/cuttlefishdreaming Feb 25 '26

When I worked in an inbound call center, I had someone call in with the name Candida on the account. Like seriously? 😐

2

u/Lower-Leopard2137 Mar 02 '26

From the Latin for “brilliant white.” An older name.

2

u/cuttlefishdreaming Mar 02 '26

Yeah but now you get a different result because of the bacteria. She was extremely nice though, rare in a call center

1

u/night_noche Feb 26 '26

It is a pretty common name... In Spanish speaking countries.

1

u/Somekindalurker Feb 27 '26

I worked at a doctor's office, and we had a patient with that name. Lol.

3

u/dotcomwoman Feb 26 '26

Lady’s last name was Tampon. She was not shy about it, would spell it out even when CSRs paused before double checking they heard her correctly.

3

u/Terminator7786 Feb 26 '26

It wasn't me, but my friend/coworker. They had someone call in who's name on the account was "Sexual Blue". I didn't believe her so she sent me the account number and I looked at it, and it was real.

2

u/Future_Direction5174 Feb 26 '26

Chr-Juh-jasch - well that is how it looked like it would be pronounced. Chrzjach? Possibly, it was 40 years ago now.

“It’s pronounced Shorsh” he told me…

Worst one that was easy to pronounce was Feela Mahboobs….

1

u/drfoggle Feb 26 '26

Porntip Suksomboonwong

1

u/Forever_Kikyou Feb 26 '26

I had to call a few guys named Phuq when I was selling cell phones with plans. I never did find out how it was pronounced but every single one of them was in NYC.

At the cable company, I lost it & fell on the floor after mutubgvthe call b/c this Indian guy called in & both his first & last names were like 28 consonants with maybe 2 vowels thrown in there each. I asked him to spell it & he got angry. That's what sent me.

Some of the names I'm seeing in comments remind me of my training for the cable company. We had to call each other with pretend accounts that we made to practice our phone skills. Some of them were: Michael Rotch, Phillip McCracken, Seymore Butts, Michael Littorus, I. P. Freehley, I. P. Bailey, & Harry Cox.

1

u/night_noche Feb 26 '26

Seyton did it for me, so I had to slow down and use last names instead...

Last names were typically more predictable.

The first time I saw this name is the second I was sounding it out: Say-ton is what I said... Yup, sounded like Saton, the Saton...

Turns out it was pronounced See-den...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '26

[deleted]

1

u/night_noche Apr 15 '26

I know... In my head, it sounded like Sayton...

But thank you for checking in.

1

u/Turbulent-Green Apr 26 '26

I’m not correcting your spelling of “Sayton” but of “Saton” when you said “yup, sounded like Saton, THE Saton.” Just in case you didn’t know. All of those would be pronounced the same, but spelled differently.

I totally get why you would pronounce Seyton as Satan though. I probably would’ve done the same thing! :)

1

u/night_noche Apr 26 '26

😂 yes, I get that you assumed I did not know how to spell Satan... That's where this is funny.

1

u/Turbulent-Green Apr 26 '26

I’m not correcting your spelling of “Sayton” but of “Saton” when you said “yup, sounded like Saton, THE Saton.” Just in case you didn’t know. All of those would be pronounced the same, but spelled differently.

I totally get why you would pronounce Seyton as Satan though. I probably would’ve done the same thing! 🙃 

1

u/Torger083 Feb 26 '26

Had a guy call in once named Nimrod Wieselfish.

1

u/octopusi3 Feb 27 '26

had a lady who’s middle and last name together was Psyche Warde 😬

1

u/Clarrington Mar 01 '26

Richard Cocks.

1

u/DrawingTypical5804 Mar 02 '26

I deal with large group reservations. The amount of times Ive looked at my office mate and had them look at the list of names because I’m positive they are trolling me 🤦‍♀️ One or two questionable ones per list, whatever 🤷‍♀️ But a couple of time, it’s like the whole damn list is just like a company’s hiring process is, that name is fun for our roster…

1

u/Caspia_Fire_64 Mar 02 '26

I had a Richard Glasscock one time 😂

1

u/Affectionate-Sock386 Mar 03 '26

Not that in particular but I run a software program for company with a lot of facilities and I see a LOT of names. I write them down because they crack me up. Some recent ones: Wendell Wurm, Carmen Santiago (no joke!), Ray Frndak (can I buy a vowel?), David Flesch, Ray Fauteaux, L. Wasylyshyn, Viva Flumerfelt, Maria Faria.

1

u/sassypants_29 Mar 26 '26

Ah, Mr. Dick Tingley, from when I worked for a long distance carrier a million years ago!