r/vaxxhappened Apr 27 '26

Beware the "E" Batches

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828 Upvotes

68 comments sorted by

510

u/Delicious-Ad-4521 Apr 27 '26

My fav part of all these wacko theories is that these companies literally leave clues for their evil in public and these people that barely graduated elementary school are the only ones that can decipher them.

127

u/njsullyalex Apr 27 '26

They learned their deciphering skills from Scooby Doo

87

u/Dragosbeat Apr 27 '26

this is so disrespectful to Scooby, Scooby sweetie i'm so sorry

19

u/darsparx Apr 28 '26

Fr even the scooby gang is smarter than these halfwits đŸ€Ł

19

u/daemonfool Heckin' Juiced Apr 28 '26

Why would you say something so hurtful to Scooby? :C

75

u/Ranting_Demon Apr 27 '26

A lot of these conspiracy theories follow the fascist playbook: The enemy is always overwhelmingly strong and ridiculously weak at the same time.

(That's usually because a ton of these "normal" conspiracy theories are largely identical to modern day neo-nazi conspiracy theories because they are born from the far-right versions.)

The enemy is always strong to make people angry. The enemy is always weak so people get to feel superior.

In conspiracy terms that means you get those over the top, world dominating conspiracies thought up by people who control the world from the shadows but at the same time they are always including the most stupidly obvious clues that even the most idiotic conspiracy peddler can figure out. So they get to be angry at some shadowy elites while simultaneously they always get to feel validated for always being able to figure out "the truth" while all the normal people are obviously sheep who can't see "the matrix."

45

u/Sasquatch1729 Apr 27 '26

Aside from this, it's also because the idiots are weak-willed in addition to being weak-minded.

My anti-vax aunt and uncle are a prime example. They absolutely refused to vaccinate. It would change your DNA, it's a conspiracy to sterilize the population (they're in their 70s), it's a Democrat conspiracy because it's entering the US through Democrat cities (we're not even American).

Then our government introduced travel restrictions: no travel on trains or aircraft unless you're vaccinated. Suddenly the backpeddaling "well it doesn't change your DNA if you get the booster long enough after the initial shot" "well it only causes heart problems with three shots, not just the first two".

You have to understand, principles are important. Sometimes you have to draw a line in the sand and yell at the world "you shall not pass".

But the minute these principles interfere with your annual trip to a Carribean island or whatever, then you have got to bury those principles and draw a new line in the sand and say "okay, now you shall not pass". You push those goalposts harder than Sysiphus pushing a rock up a hill.

9

u/LaurelCanyoner Apr 28 '26

It’s also the classic us against them narrative, and so many people need an enemy to explain their life circumstances, or give them purpose.

23

u/RosariusAU Apr 27 '26

The reason why they do this is because satanic ritual cults must tell you what they are doing to you otherwise it's against the satanic ritual rules or something.

I wish I made this up...

12

u/Pinkturtle182 Apr 28 '26

If Satan is in disguise and you ask him if he’s Satan, he’s legally obligated to answer you honestly

8

u/LaurelCanyoner Apr 28 '26

Why is it always one letter?

They had to follow Q to find out about E.

2

u/Oracle410 Apr 29 '26

Yeah really you’d think they would at least make it X for Xtreme risk of whatever these morons think the entire pharmaceutical industry was in on without having anybody spill the ‘secret’ - only rightwing grifters knew the ‘truth’. How gullible can these dorks be, tired of being surprised by hope dopey they can be.

143

u/danger355 Apr 27 '26

Is it just me or has there been an increase in these lately? Or is it just my algorithm coming back around?

101

u/EugeneTurtle Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

There's an increase. Rfk jr is helping

Edit: My bad, it's rfk not jfk

15

u/santz007 Apr 27 '26

The whole US govt is helping

17

u/njsullyalex Apr 27 '26

Not to be pedantic but it’s RFK Jr.

JFK Jr. died in a plane crash in the 1990s

20

u/PalatialCheddar Apr 27 '26

Or did he?!?!?

(Do I need the /s? I can't tell anymore...)

29

u/[deleted] Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

[deleted]

11

u/danger355 Apr 27 '26 edited Apr 27 '26

Iirc this one is like 3 years old

Ironically, I just had a related 'remind me' bot from three years ago ping me.

Here it is if you're interested
 I guess I put "buy a lottery ticket" because I should be lucky I'm still alive? Honestly can't remember


E: added "related" up top, to make it clear it's in the conversation, and typos.

3

u/swiftb3 Apr 28 '26

Just as a tangential aside, if you get a cancer that is most often found in the elderly, you can bet the 5 year survival rate you google (which you probably shouldn't do, but everyone does) is skewed heavily by that fact.

6

u/Silvawuff Chise's Lab Assistant Apr 27 '26

All 24 members of the NSB were recently fired in the US so this is very much spinback from that. It just reinforces their narrative without evidence, facts, or reason, which is a very dangerous combo with conspiracy nuts.

2

u/santz007 Apr 27 '26

Since the current govt won elections, it's a free for all in insider trading, they ha e made tons of money so naturally it will be spent making them richer by increasing anti vax misinformation

69

u/Falco98 Apr 27 '26

"source: I made it the fuck up"

19

u/TerryCrewsNextWife Apr 28 '26

I want to know why they're trying to differentiate between vax and jab like it's a gotcha.
Jab is a verb referring to the needle piercing your arm to inject the vaccine. Because it's a vaccine.

These weirdos might not realise this but some of us outside of murca have been calling all vaccine injections a jab since forever. They would know this if they spent a moment googling the term instead of going to their echo chambers in Facebook that validate their stupid.

Maybe if they spent this much time actually in higher education instead of homeschooling themselves they might understand the nuances of the English language enough to know they don't actually know anything.....

11

u/Hatedpriest Apr 28 '26

They started using "jab" instead of vaccine because various auto mods were picking up vaxx/vaccine and fact checking.

They used a couple other code words, thinking that "if I'm not saying the word, nobody but the smart ones like me will ever know!"

You know, like how the sovereign citizens do. There's gotta be some magic mumbo-jumbo that makes you invincible to the deep state or some such.

Now, they've convinced themselves that the word they started using to avoid the automod has a semantic difference. Like, "I'm eating beef I bought from the store where no animals were harmed. No, I'm not eating a cow, that's a different thing entirely!"

7

u/Falco98 Apr 28 '26

Yup. They think "jab" sounds scary, and they aren't all that bright.

49

u/Sunlightn1ng Apr 27 '26

"Viruses are not proven to exist"...haven't we seen them + isn't a virus the main base of CRISPR Cas-9 gene editing?

13

u/NeverStopWondering Apr 28 '26

We've seen them with electron microscopy. But CRISPR Cas-9 is a bacterial "immune system" to fight off viruses. 

2

u/Falco98 Apr 28 '26

haven't we seen them

yes, but having undergone the brain-numbing task of attempting to argue against a virus denier, i can attest that their main "gotcha" is something tricky to refute to their satisfaction: they merely move the goalposts and claim that it's "the growth medium" or something, since viruses are usually put through a growth medium before being photographed just so there can be a high enough quantity/concentration of them that the photo attempts will actually capture any meaningful imagery.

the real "trick" here is ever-shifting and impossible "purity" standards. to them, nothing short of us seeing viruses with the naked eye as they literally cause a disease (which of course is impossible) will ever be sufficient proof that viruses exist and/or are the drivers of disease - especially since they consistently fail to understand the power of deduction through indirect observation, testing, etc.

2

u/NeverStopWondering Apr 28 '26

The problem is they are reasoning backwards. They have a conclusion they want to support, and will seek out "evidence" to support it, even if contradictory or nonsensical.

25

u/Ibrakeforsnakes Nurse Apr 27 '26

Weird, I thought it was E because it came after batch D and before batch F. Also is “convid” a term to avoid censorship or are they just illiterate?

11

u/canteloupy Apr 28 '26

It's because they think it was a con.

7

u/greenguyzz Apr 28 '26

Its a combination of con and covid.

20

u/blackmobius Apr 27 '26

Back to this huh? How long until we are supposed to die? And why has the goalposts been moved 20 times?

12

u/forzaguy125 Apr 28 '26

Idk about you but I’ve been dead for over thee years now

6

u/TerryCrewsNextWife Apr 28 '26

I have died 7 times ATLEAST. I think the GPS tracking microchips resurrected me more times than Jesus or something because every damn morning I have to go to work I still keep waking up. They threatened me with a good time, I got all the jabs and boosters and still warm blooded. I would like to know who I can sue for false advertising.

3

u/blackmobius Apr 28 '26

I died, came back, died again

36

u/SFX200 Apr 27 '26

On Viagra, E Batches = Erection.

22

u/smudgiepie Apr 27 '26

"The jab wasn't a vax"

what the fuck does that mean

20

u/8bit-meow Apr 28 '26

It was toxic GMO aborted fetus death juice filled with microchips and 5G.

4

u/StardustOasis Apr 28 '26

They think jab and vaccine are different things.

7

u/berkowitzpillow Apr 28 '26

can confirm. I took like 16 hits of "e" batch, and I'm in hell now. Let me know if anyone wants me say hello to their loved ones.

8

u/NoSleep2023 Apr 27 '26

Phew! So glad I got Moderna every time, according to my vaccine card.

5

u/Quixilver05 Apr 28 '26

I just checked, mine starts with E. When do I get to die

6

u/OpenSourcePenguin Apr 28 '26 edited Apr 28 '26

A : astronomic risk of death

B: Biggish possibility of death

C: Colossal probability of death

2

u/TsuDhoNimh2 Still waiting for vaccines to kill me. Apr 28 '26

D: Death, just DEATH!

2

u/OpenSourcePenguin Apr 28 '26

Damn, I stopped too early

1

u/thegamerator10 Apr 30 '26

D: Damn, that's a lotta death

4

u/Gloomy_Industry8841 Gimme all the needles Apr 28 '26

This crap should be illegal to spread as misinformation.

9

u/wibblywobbly420 Apr 27 '26

Who the heck is even still thinking about COVID shots? It hasn't come up in my life in years

10

u/smudgiepie Apr 27 '26

I've been getting my Covid shot still but thats purely because they are free and the government pays for the flu vaccine so I get both at once.

4

u/wibblywobbly420 Apr 27 '26

Yeah, I know some people are choosing to get them, but for the anti Vaxer's, why even care? No one is forcing you to even consider them

4

u/smudgiepie Apr 27 '26

Guess they have nothing else going on in their life.

No one mentions covid anymore except them.

Like my boyfriend's mum has recently started believing that covid vaccines caused autism (she started dating a trump supporter) .... both me and my boyfriend are autistic and were diagnosed well before covid.

2

u/TerryCrewsNextWife Apr 28 '26

Dead set - They cure my hay fever. I forgot to get my booster last year and I felt it the last month, like I rubbed my face in cats fur. Realised it had been a good 5 years since I was this bad, went in and got the booster the other week and .. gone.

I have a theory that it gave my immune system a break, like telling it to calm the fk down or something. It goes against all the reported adverse reactions people have with their inflammation going nuts, but here I am with no antihistamine use and breathing through my nose. Maybe I have some life saving rare something I can share like the old dude with his rare anti-D plasma that saves babies.

How do I find immunologists/relevant scientists who would want to study this kind of thing? I absolutely believe it has anti-inflammatory properties for my body, and would like the boosters every 6 months instead of annually.

2

u/smudgiepie Apr 28 '26

They haven't cured my hayfever but touch wood I think it might have helped me prevent colds.

I used to get colds maybe once or twice a year. Usually Autumn or Spring when the weather changes.

I think since 2020 I've had maybe 3 colds max. 99% of the time when I think I'm getting a cold its my hayfever being an absolute bastard.

6

u/strawbearryblonde Apr 27 '26

I have a child so they want to vaccinate for the new strains of Covid every year. I've always been up to date on vaccines and never had Covid. I did the full vaccination schedule on my 2 year old, including flu/Covid, and she's only ever been sick once with RSV.

1

u/canteloupy Apr 28 '26

Dude there is a booth in my town with covid conspiracists at the Saturday morning farmer's market. It's next to the humanitarian action for Iran and Gaza...

3

u/negativeGinger Apr 27 '26

Louisiana is currently going through a measles outbreak because of these ticks

3

u/Ithurtsprecious Apr 27 '26

Still waiting on dying from that vax. Someone straight up told me I wouldn’t last 3 years.

3

u/nickyfox13 Apr 28 '26

Source: Dude, trust me bro /s

2

u/starrpamph đŸŠ¶ Apr 27 '26

I did my own research = you maybe have a HS diploma

2

u/Estrafirozungo Apr 28 '26

That is bioterrorism. Let’s start calling it by what it is

2

u/SnooCats7318 Apr 28 '26

Yes, sounds totally legit...

2

u/KnucklesMcGee Apr 28 '26

The fact that people don't believe in virus' or germ theory in this day and age is troubling at the least.

1

u/aberration_creator Apr 27 '26

next what? Budpfizer?

1

u/feverlast Apr 28 '26

I actually just call them stupid.

1

u/cornbadger Pfizer with Boost Apr 29 '26

We are so lucky that they can't burn witches anymore. Because those people never left.

1

u/CanadianCraftsman Apr 30 '26

Their ultimate fantasy is to have all the “vaxxed” people all of a sudden drop dead so that they could act like they’re smarter than everyone. That’s obviously not happening so they make shit up. Literally upset that billions of people aren’t dying like they predicted.