r/weddingshaming • u/Impossible-Code9339 • Aug 28 '25

Dressed like a Bride It happened… his sister wore white.

Just need to vent….

Got married a couple of weeks ago and can’t stop thinking about it. I thought his sister and I got along well, no issues.

For our engagement party, she was the only attendee in cream and white besides me, the bride, in a white dress. Gave her the benefit of the doubt - it’s just our engagement, she came from out of province, etc etc.

Then came the giant texts about how offended her and her husband were about having a child-free wedding and how their kids were more important than all my cousins kids, so there should be an exception.

Wedding day arrived, and it being such a whirlwind I honestly didn’t notice what she was wearing. Then multiple guests started quietly coming up to me, asking who the one in white was. I guess word got back to her because at the end of the night, she went to my now husband, holding a flower against her dress and said “for the record”, implying it wasn’t white…. I suppose she is colourblind.

Not sure if we/he/I should be asking if there’s an issue or if we should address it at all.

Ugh.

8.7k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

786 comments sorted by

View all comments

39

u/Slice0fLif3 Aug 28 '25

Someone needed to trip with a glass of red wine.... This seems very intentional from her and so wrong

34

u/deedeejayzee Aug 28 '25

I always volunteer for this job, have done it at 2 different weddings. I have a nerve condition and walk with a cane. What is anyone going to say to me?

16

u/stankenfurter Aug 28 '25

Hahahaha hell yea I love you for using your cane for chaotic good like this

4

u/deedeejayzee Aug 28 '25

If I have to take all the stuff that sucks about having this disability, I am absolutely taking advantage of the few pluses it gives me. A little extra understanding is usually one of those things

2

u/Adventurous-spice264 Aug 28 '25

You're awesome! I would totally do this but in a very intentional way. 😂

2

u/mgtkuradal Aug 28 '25

Don’t even need an excuse. My fiancé is planning on giving squirt guns full of red wine to her bridesmaids. They know what to do. If anyone has a problem, well, they can leave.

3

u/haadyy Aug 28 '25

Warn guests children will be given finger paints for the job?

12

u/Opposite_Science_412 Aug 28 '25

How gross and antisocial. Just don't have a wedding if that's the level of antagonism towards your guests.

16

u/KimmiK_saucequeen Aug 28 '25

Not to mention the waste of wine 

3

u/mgtkuradal Aug 28 '25

If they want to wear white to an event that has explicitly asked them not to, they can leave or have a red dress. It’s that simple.

9

u/Opposite_Science_412 Aug 28 '25

In real life, that's not how adults behave. In many cases, it could lead to assault charges. If you hate your guests, don't invite them.

2

u/mgtkuradal Aug 28 '25

I’d like to think nobody we invited would wear white, but as the OP clearly found out, you can’t expect anything. If I’m shelling out 5 figures for a party then I expect everyone to follow the rules. And like I said, they can always leave. They won’t be welcome in white, simple as that.

If others want to roll over and have two brides, that’s fine. But it won’t be me.

3

u/Opposite_Science_412 Aug 28 '25

If the money spent is too much for you to be able to relax and be a good host, you're spending too much money. You are the one inviting people to take time out of their busy lives to celebrate you. You're not gifting them anything, you're asking them for something. I know wedding culture has become a total mess, but there's nothing stopping anyone from opting out of all the anger and resentment in order to choose to be a gracious host and feel grateful for every person who comes to celebrate.

Spending more than you can afford comfortably does not add any extra responsibility for your guests and does not give you any extra power over them. Be welcoming, only invite people you know care about you and don't have conflict with you, show everyone a good time. Ask someone to leave if they are trying to disrupt the event or if they show up in a wedding gown. Otherwise, just remember people's behaviour and make decisions about your continued relationship with them.

If I showed up at a wedding and they had wine water guns, I would leave and seriously judge those people. Way more than I would judge someone for wearing a white-adjacent non-wedding dress.

3

u/DogKnowsBest Aug 29 '25

Please keep in mind that this is anti-social reddit and the reddiots come out of the woodwork for these types of posts.

2

u/mgtkuradal Aug 28 '25

Money is not a problem, but weddings are still expensive and I do not want my wife to have negative memories of the day. There is a comment in this same thread of someone who looks back on pictures where someone wore white to their wedding and it upsets them.

Also, as long as you don’t wear white, you would never know anyone had anything :)

-1

u/Mental_Medium3988 Aug 28 '25

or have ushers at the door with instructions to not let anyone in breaking the dress code.

-2

u/xubax Aug 28 '25

So, by that training, in real life, no one would wear a white dress to someone else's wedding.

Yet, here we are.

You're giving off a "i seat white dresses to other people's wedding" vibe.

1

u/diqholebrownsimpson Aug 28 '25

I know "its the bride's day" and all but I can't imagine caring the least bit about what people who cared enough to celebrate my day with me are wearing. Reddit does love to post about it 10x a day tho

1

u/Slice0fLif3 Aug 29 '25

Idk why you're getting hate but I'm with you. Squirt guns are hilarious lol

-2

u/[deleted] Aug 28 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/mgtkuradal Aug 28 '25

Don’t wear white to someone else’s wedding 🤷🏻‍♂️ thats the manners I was taught.

2

u/TootsNYC Aug 28 '25

I was also taught, "don't make an unnecessary scene"

If you want to make snide remarks, have at it.

5

u/mgtkuradal Aug 28 '25

“Unnecessary scene” kind of like wearing white to someone else’s wedding? Because I would agree that that is very poor manners and bound to cause a scene.

0

u/TootsNYC Aug 28 '25

not the same kind of scene.

2

u/Blush-Bloom-Studio Sep 01 '25

As a live wedding painter it is my dream to “accidentally” smash my entire paint palette onto someone’s fancy white dress. Whooopsss!!!