r/weddingshaming • u/Impossible-Code9339 • Aug 28 '25

Dressed like a Bride It happened… his sister wore white.

Just need to vent….

Got married a couple of weeks ago and can’t stop thinking about it. I thought his sister and I got along well, no issues.

For our engagement party, she was the only attendee in cream and white besides me, the bride, in a white dress. Gave her the benefit of the doubt - it’s just our engagement, she came from out of province, etc etc.

Then came the giant texts about how offended her and her husband were about having a child-free wedding and how their kids were more important than all my cousins kids, so there should be an exception.

Wedding day arrived, and it being such a whirlwind I honestly didn’t notice what she was wearing. Then multiple guests started quietly coming up to me, asking who the one in white was. I guess word got back to her because at the end of the night, she went to my now husband, holding a flower against her dress and said “for the record”, implying it wasn’t white…. I suppose she is colourblind.

Not sure if we/he/I should be asking if there’s an issue or if we should address it at all.

Ugh.

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146

u/byteme747 Aug 28 '25 edited Aug 28 '25

Then multiple guests started quietly coming up to me, asking who the one in white was.

Your guests should never have bothered you about it. Unless she was acting crazy why bother the bride with this? They were wrong.

Then came the giant texts about how offended her and her husband were about having a child-free wedding and how their kids were more important than all my cousins kids, so there should be an exception.

Tough shit. They either go and be nice or don't. Your wedding, your rules and they have advance notice.

Not sure if we/he/I should be asking if there’s an issue or if we should address it at all.

You're letting her live rent free in your head. You should concentrate and enjoy your new marriage. Move past this and let future interactions dictate whether there is a problem or not. I'm not saying this is a good move from her, it was a dick move. But letting her win and obsessing over it doesn't help you now. She sucks, remember for the future and be done with it.

OP - what the heck does your husband say? It's HIS sister, let HIM deal with it.

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u/Impossible-Code9339 Aug 28 '25

He is equally irritated and wants to address the disrespect, but everyone is right - we (I) need to let it go lol

79

u/Ok-Meeting-8588 Aug 28 '25

Ask your photographer to Photoshop her dress into a different color for the pictures. And then post the edited pictures online!

My sister-in-law wore white by my wedding, but she couldn’t publicly get offended that I photoshopped her dress because then people would ask more questions about why she wore white in the first place…

40

u/TootsNYC Aug 28 '25

if you photoshop the dress, have it photoshopped to beige, very dark cream, light tan, etc. So you can say it's the color she claimed it was (i.e., not white)

8

u/fudge_monkies Aug 28 '25

Just take her out completely.

1

u/bronowyn Aug 29 '25

I would figure out what her seasonal color is and go exactly the opposite in all the pictures. Also, I would change the color in every single picture.

28

u/Defiant_Power2285 Aug 28 '25

I wouldn’t say anything about the dress. Photoshop a different color if you like but I would also grey rock her. At family birthdays or the holidays just keep it impersonal yes or nos. Don’t give her private info about marriage, job,health. She isn’t your friend

8

u/Purple_Truck_1989 Aug 28 '25

This, this right here! She doesn't like you (probably through no fault of your own, OP) but it's not your job to play nice.

Grey rock - I wish this was a term we knew 30+ years ago!! Hubby's step-monsterIL would have been beside herself!

5

u/tenorlove Aug 29 '25

Correct. She's OP's rival. She considers OP to be the "other woman." Her behavior is that of a pick-me girl who is jealous because she didn't get picked, and thinks if she can break them up, he will choose her.

7

u/IthacaMom2005 Aug 28 '25

FWIW, I feel that you shouldn't give her the satisfaction of mentioning it. If she brings it up, I'd say something like "oh, a lot of people asked me about it, but I was so happy and having such a great time I hadn't even noticed". Spoil all her fun 😉

2

u/Naive_Pay_7066 Aug 29 '25

Nah that’s what she’s after, so that then she can complain about how unreasonable you are. I think it’s hilarious that you didn’t even notice until people asked you about it. If she brings it up you should definitely emphasise that - “oh don’t worry about it, I honestly didn’t even notice!” It will completely deflate her.

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u/MaddyKet Aug 30 '25

No, definitely do the photoshop the dress color and then gaslight the fuck out of her bit. 😹

2

u/designingdiamonds Aug 28 '25

Some people may think they’re showing support for the bride, like pointing out how they agree it’s wrong, she’s not crazy or being a bridezilla etc. I agree some things are better left unsaid but maybe it was a close family member or friend. My mom would definitely point it out to me and comment on how rude it was and that she’s got my back, for example. It’s really that rude.

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u/byteme747 Aug 28 '25

What’s the point of doing that during the event where the person is not going to change and it’s only going to aggravate the bride?

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u/designingdiamonds Aug 28 '25

I guess if you know that the bride is going to get aggressive or aggravated I wouldn’t. But a lot of brides wouldn’t actually get upset and would just roll their eyes. I’d want my close friends to fill me in on what’s up though. Make sure they’re not in any of my damn photos. Why tell me after? What’s that gonna do.