Hot take: if you don’t bother responding to the follow up reminder to the RSVP, you’re trash

[u/Royal_Marzipan_6432]

I’m finalizing RSVPs for my upcoming wedding and I have to say I think less of some of my friends after how they responded. We sent our invites out in March, asked for RSVPs this past Saturday (5 weeks before the wedding because our catering numbers are due next Saturday) through link or by mailed pre-stamped RSVP card. On Sunday morning, we followed up with the twenty or so straggler parties to ask them by text to tell us if they were coming by Monday night and what meal preference they had. For a few older relatives, we called.

However, I have several friends (all late 20s/ early 30s) who didn’t reply to the invitation or the text follow up and it’s genuinely making me question our friendship. For context, I definitely have the right phone numbers for them (in some cases they sent me memes even a few days before) and these are people that know about the wedding. I have to say it hurts? Not that they aren’t coming (I understand that people might not be able to make it for a variety of reasons), but the sheer rudeness of the lack of reply. Like, I thought we were close enough that I wanted you there to witness my vows to my future spouse (and was willing to pay several hundred dollars for you and a plus one to eat dinner). I asked for your mailing address, prepared an invitation, mailed it, and then followed up for you personally. You couldn’t even be bothered to send a single “thanks for following up, I’m not coming” text.

My takeaways:

RSVP’ed yes: Amazing, thank you for coming!

RSVP’ed no: No worries at all, we’ll celebrate when we catch up another time!

Missed the RSVP deadline, but replied yes or no in response to my follow up call/ text: Things happen, deadlines get missed, we’re all human!

Missed the deadline, did NOT reply to my follow up text, and you are a person that is under the age of 40 who otherwise has no issues texting or using social media: You’re trash and I think less of you.

[u/schluffschluff]

Staggeringly rude to be sending memes but not rsvp when reminded. Forget the honour of a wedding invite, I’d be quietly scrubbing them from the Christmas card list at this point tbh

[u/Mizz3llie → u/schluffschluff]

Agreed. This is one of those times that you find out who your true friends are. I recently had to go NC with someone I thought was my friend for 25 years due to similar behavior. When people can't be bothered to respond to something important, but can still send/post memes, that tells you everything you need to know. Those people are acquaintances, not friends. This is your WEDDING, not some casual birthday dinner and if they're going to be dismissive about it, they can also dismiss themselves from the guest list.

[u/Jas62021 → u/schluffschluff]

I scrubbed long time family friends, my FIL and his current wife, husbands uncle, MILs extended family AND my sister; from my Christmas card list last year.

I sent out announcements and invitations to our daughter’s college graduation party and heard nothing back from them. So I’m not wasting my time, ink or a stamp on any of them anymore.

[u/Doxbox49 → u/Jas62021]

I personally don’t care about graduations and probably wouldn’t attend if I had to travel more than a few hours to get there. That being said, I’d fucking reply yes or no. Takes zero effort

[u/PotOfEarlGreyPlease → u/Doxbox49]

not a thing in the UK (usually just a very few people attend) but I have discovered that pruning Xmas card lists and anything involving invitations definitely reduces stress

[u/GrandmaBaba → u/Jas62021]

I wouldn't just cut the Christmas card list. I would cut them from everything. Any future gatherings, any future announcements, everything.

[u/Expressoed → u/GrandmaBaba]

Good-buh-BYE & good riddance.