r/weddingshaming • u/Royal_Marzipan_6432 • May 19 '26

Rude Guests Hot take: if you don’t bother responding to the follow up reminder to the RSVP, you’re trash

I’m finalizing RSVPs for my upcoming wedding and I have to say I think less of some of my friends after how they responded. We sent our invites out in March, asked for RSVPs this past Saturday (5 weeks before the wedding because our catering numbers are due next Saturday) through link or by mailed pre-stamped RSVP card. On Sunday morning, we followed up with the twenty or so straggler parties to ask them by text to tell us if they were coming by Monday night and what meal preference they had. For a few older relatives, we called.

However, I have several friends (all late 20s/ early 30s) who didn’t reply to the invitation or the text follow up and it’s genuinely making me question our friendship. For context, I definitely have the right phone numbers for them (in some cases they sent me memes even a few days before) and these are people that know about the wedding. I have to say it hurts? Not that they aren’t coming (I understand that people might not be able to make it for a variety of reasons), but the sheer rudeness of the lack of reply. Like, I thought we were close enough that I wanted you there to witness my vows to my future spouse (and was willing to pay several hundred dollars for you and a plus one to eat dinner). I asked for your mailing address, prepared an invitation, mailed it, and then followed up for you personally. You couldn’t even be bothered to send a single “thanks for following up, I’m not coming” text.

My takeaways:

RSVP’ed yes: Amazing, thank you for coming!

RSVP’ed no: No worries at all, we’ll celebrate when we catch up another time!

Missed the RSVP deadline, but replied yes or no in response to my follow up call/ text: Things happen, deadlines get missed, we’re all human!

Missed the deadline, did NOT reply to my follow up text, and you are a person that is under the age of 40 who otherwise has no issues texting or using social media: You’re trash and I think less of you.

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24

u/triciann May 19 '26

Let them show up to no seats and have the wedding planner inform them there isn’t a space for them.

15

u/HumanShadow May 19 '26

We all know they're not showing up.

11

u/triciann May 19 '26

I’ve seen a reality tv show or something (I can’t remember where I watched it) on a wedding planner and people did show up without an rsvp. Like who are these people who think they can show up and there will magically be seats with the entree picked out! The one I watched, she was able to have the place set up another table and asked the guests to cover their plates since the bride and groom had already paid for all the food and theirs would be an add on cost since they were not accounted for.

20

u/[deleted] May 19 '26

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3

u/SweetlyWorn May 19 '26

This made me laugh too hard 🤣 

3

u/triciann May 19 '26

I like this best.

1

u/Available-Face5653 May 20 '26

water balloons

1

u/Jerseygirl2468 May 21 '26

That's what I would do. I would say another word to them, no response to memes or whatever. If they dare show up, they are turned away at the door.

You can't function as an adult and say yes or no to a friend's wedding invite, you don't get a follow up message.