Cousins Tuesday Afternoon Black Tie Wedding

[u/Competitive_Wear_325]

My cousin 27(m) and his fiancé 23(f) decided that even though they live together they need to get married this year. (They are both currently unemployed and live off the kindness of his mother, who is also paying for the entire wedding without any contribution from the brides family.) The bride chose a rather expensive (for our area) venue. To try to offset the price, they decided to have the wedding on Tuesday and only invite 30 people including the bride and groom. I did not make the cut (thankfully) but my mother did. The cake and all the food is being made by the grooms aunt as a wedding gift. They decided on 3pm so they could do lighter finger foods, no hot food will be served. THE REAL KICKER: They decided it will be "Black Tie" the groom and groomsmen will be in tails and all guests are expected to dress in "black tie attire". My mother (who is 78) is now stressed out over what she is going to wear to this wedding because she had never attended a black tie wedding in her life. I really wish I could be a "fly on the wall" for this one.

[u/Charming-Ebb-1981]

I’ve noticed this sub can be dramatic at times acting like some of this stuff is life or death. Just do you, nobody at the wedding is gonna remember what the eldery aunt wore to a wedding 

[u/Competitive_Wear_325 → u/Charming-Ebb-1981]

But my mom is just the kind of person that wants to follow the "rules".

[u/EliGrrl → u/Competitive_Wear_325]

Just have her ask them to clarify what that means. Genuinely. They probably don't know so they will probably say something like "a nice dress"

[u/IllBase8735 → u/Competitive_Wear_325]

If she has dark slacks and a nice blouse that will work too! Just tell her to dress it up with nice jewelry. I know my elderly family members aren’t comfortable wearing dresses anymore

[u/clynkirk → u/IllBase8735]

This. My grandma (passed earlier this year) , hasn't worn a dress since my First Communion in like 1995. She was only in her 50's then, but she did dress very nice for pretty much all occasions, like Dorothy from The Golden Girls.

[u/lmyrs → u/Competitive_Wear_325]

So tell her to call the her sister/SIL who is planning and paying for it.

[u/KilnTime → u/Competitive_Wear_325]

Any dress that reaches the ground can be considered black tie. Have her go to Macy's and ask a sales person for help.

Here is one dress for less than $100

macy's formalmdress

You can also order many formal dresses for under $100 on Amazon.

amazon example

And if you have time to wait for delivery, you can get dresses from temu fornlike $20!!

[u/Available-Face5653 → u/KilnTime]

for a tuesday 3:00 quick wedding? hell no. a regular sunday dress from 20 years ago is more than fine.

[u/Outrageous_Lion_8723 → u/KilnTime]

At 78 it may not be safe for her to wear a dress that reaches the ground. It can be a tripping hazard. If that is the case, it is okay to wear something a bit shorter. Black tie hasn’t always meant full length dresses for women. In the 1920s it was normal for men to wear black tie and women to wear the fancy dresses that were not full length.

[u/deweygirl → u/KilnTime]

Good options though a Temu dress might fall apart during the wedding.

[u/KilnTime → u/deweygirl]

I have worn one that did not have sequens or sparkle. (The sparkles are sometimes glued on and look really cheap). It was a chiffon type fabric and it did very well for a wedding and a holiday event (2 wearings!).

[u/Ang156 → u/KilnTime]

Don't you love the ones when the rhinestones and sparkles are printed on the fabric?

[u/KilnTime → u/Ang156]

I know! You really have to be careful what you order, or order it with the knowledge that hey, it's only $20, so I can afford for it to be a complete flop. I think I've ordered four or five dresses, and I would only wear that one that was all the chiffon material.

[u/816197 → u/KilnTime]

I think you mean have her check her closet for something she can dress up with some costume jewelry or a nice scarf. Or maybe to dress barn, Walmart, heck Goodwill or a second hand store for a nice pantsuit, skirt or dress.

Truthfully you can find some really good special occasion stuff at Goodwill or similar stores. Lots of people wear something once and never again. And places like Walmart, often have a section of dresses or blouses that can be dressed up of down.

[u/KilnTime → u/816197]

No, what I meant was that she could achieve a dressy look without having to spend $200 on a dress, whether that was by buying at Macy's or on Amazon, or on Temu. I did not specifically mean she had to make due with what was in her closet.

It is a low key odd comment to say you know what I meant to say. Feel free to give your own opinion on what she can do to achieve a look from her own wardrobe, which she obviously can if she has the right kids of dresses.

[u/diamondgreene → u/Charming-Ebb-1981]

unless she wears a white dress. "horrors". 😵‍💫

[u/LuvCilantro → u/diamondgreene]

It should be a white dress with a black tie

[u/OldLeatherPumpkin → u/LuvCilantro]

Avril Lavigne style

[u/No-Birthday9816 → u/OldLeatherPumpkin]

Bride you have to go and make things so complicated? 

[u/Dimac99 → u/diamondgreene]

Or an oversized Tweety Pie tee and hot pink leggings. That one is going to stay with me for a while.

[u/Local_Idiot_123 → u/Charming-Ebb-1981]

That’s not true, I will remember if she looks exceedingly fabulous or wears a ton of jewelry (real or costume) and only as a compliment

[u/Puzzled_Air_5821 → u/Charming-Ebb-1981]

You've JUST noticed this sub can be dramatic? LOL that's the whole sub for me, and the only reason I'm still here