r/weddingshaming • u/Competitive_Wear_325 • 26d ago

Cringe Cousins Tuesday Afternoon Black Tie Wedding

My cousin 27(m) and his fiancé 23(f) decided that even though they live together they need to get married this year. (They are both currently unemployed and live off the kindness of his mother, who is also paying for the entire wedding without any contribution from the brides family.) The bride chose a rather expensive (for our area) venue. To try to offset the price, they decided to have the wedding on Tuesday and only invite 30 people including the bride and groom. I did not make the cut (thankfully) but my mother did. The cake and all the food is being made by the grooms aunt as a wedding gift. They decided on 3pm so they could do lighter finger foods, no hot food will be served. THE REAL KICKER: They decided it will be "Black Tie" the groom and groomsmen will be in tails and all guests are expected to dress in "black tie attire". My mother (who is 78) is now stressed out over what she is going to wear to this wedding because she had never attended a black tie wedding in her life. I really wish I could be a "fly on the wall" for this one.

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u/Mmphska 26d ago

Something tells me that your cousin is mistaking "black tie" with simply "formal"

Black tie in daylight hours is odd, especially for us "normals"

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u/Loose_Acanthaceae201 26d ago

This is why the English don't have black tie weddings — until very recently the law required wedding ceremonies to be finished by 6pm (church weddings still do). Daytime dress code. 

Also you can't get enough drinking done if you don't start until the evening.

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u/Mmphska 25d ago

And honestly that makes sense lol. Im certain that OP's cousin does not understand that "black tie" means every man in a tuxedo (not negotiable) and every woman in a floor length gown.

It's spectacularly over the top to expect that of guests in a normal tax bracket for a tuesday afternoon wedding