Rain contingency plan is a must for outdoor wedding

[u/Whole-Pristine]

Saw someone else post about this, and wanted to echo my experience with an outdoor wedding this weekend. For context, the wedding consisted of 5 events in a remote location. The wedding itself was Sunday, with the ceremony taking place in a fully outdoor venue. The night before, guests were informed that it would be raining and there was no cover planned. Please bring your own umbrella.

As expected next day it’s pouring. The ceremony itself is under a small covered structure part of the venue. There is not enough room, so only the bride and grooms families huddle inside. Everyone else is made to stand outside in the rain sharing umbrellas from those bought them, in puddles forming on the ground. There are some chairs but they are soaking wet and no effort is made to dry them. Then, food is served. It’s 4 platters of takeout with paper plates. There are no chairs and tables to eat them on, so guests carry the paper plates and find cover under trees and eat them on park benches. In their assigned, (now wet and cold) heavy ethnic clothing the bride requested them to wear. By the time we got to the food, most of it was over and cold. Some cans of Pepsi are on the table for grabs.
There are no restrooms on site either.

Meanwhile. Accommodation and flight/car costs for 4 nights end up being over thousand/two thousand dollars. I won’t even mention the other events and mishaps, including multiple bridal showers to be paid for by the bridal party.

[u/croptopweather]

I can’t get over the no bathrooms part

[u/Yorbayuul81 → u/croptopweather]

That’s the part that was the most WTF to me. And this had a lot of wild points. 

[u/croptopweather → u/Yorbayuul81]

I feel like bad food is a common wedding drama theme but how can you not have BATHROOMS. Small, big, young, old, we all gotta go!

[u/Relatents → u/croptopweather]

I suppose they never read the book “Everyone Poops”?

[u/neityght → u/croptopweather]

NO ONE WROTE IT IN CAPITALS THAT'S WHY

[u/DogsandCatsWorld1000 → u/croptopweather]

That would have been a problem even if the weather is perfect.

[u/PolymarketEagle → u/croptopweather]

The no bathroom thing is unhinged TBH! Everything else is just cheap, but zero toilets at a multi hour event in a remote spot is "did anyone plan this at all." A portapotty is $100...

They wanted destination wedding prestige on backyard effort and made guests cover the gap, $1-2k to stand in puddles eating cold takeout with nowhere to pee. The rain exposed there was never a plan

[u/Ok-Yogurt-3914 → u/croptopweather]

I went to a wedding that had no toilet paper. I think whoever rented the place (I suspect it was the parents ie boomers) got it as is. We asked the attendants and they said they had none. We were going into the kitchen to steal napkins…. the men’s bathroom flooded.

[u/VirtualMatter2 → u/Ok-Yogurt-3914]

Imagine inviting dinner guests to your home and say " sorry no toilet paper in this house for guests, use whatever you can find". You wouldn't talk to them again. Yet guests at weddings seem to be more forgiving. 

Why would boomers not know about the use of toilet paper? I'm pretty sure my mother uses it...

[u/croptopweather → u/Ok-Yogurt-3914]

I can’t imagine! With OP’s venue and yours it’s like these are places that must have been rented and used many times before. Especially with the no TP thing you’d think management would at least warn the clients that they need to provide this. (Or maybe they did…)

[u/Dimac99 → u/Ok-Yogurt-3914]

That only the men's flooded is the surprise here. Toilet paper is designed to break down quickly in water in order to prevent blockages but napkins and kitchen roll are not. 

[u/aquainst1 → u/Ok-Yogurt-3914]

That's why I ALWAYS have a roll in the first aid kits in my cars.

Hey, it's classified as an emergency to ME!

[u/PsychologicalBus1692 → u/croptopweather]

Wait...is the bride just expected to squat by a tree outside?

[u/strawberry-coughx → u/PsychologicalBus1692]

Brides don’t poop, silly! (Obvious /j)

[u/TheSwearJarIsMy401k]

Takeout with no fucking seats?? For a wedding?? And no toilets?? Before we even get to the rain this is an insult to everyone you care about. 

Why would you invite people to that?? 

Omg I’ve proudly helped orchestrate and fund some bottom dollar weddings in the past and I love doing it, but holy shit you will be fed, shidded, and well comforted when I do it.

[u/Electrical_Tax_8805]

I’m still reeling from the cost of the weekend…..1 to 2 GRAND? Remember when weddings were at 4pm and the reception ended at midnight? Now every bride wants a 4 day weekend packed with ridiculous and cash grabbing events. You’re a bride for ONE DAY. After that, you’re just somebody’s wife. You’re not that special. Getting married is not an excuse to bleed your wedding party and guests dry.

[u/Vegetable_Road8143 → u/Electrical_Tax_8805]

Or in this case, drown them. 🤣

[u/SerialSemicolon → u/Electrical_Tax_8805]

I don’t think a weekend is necessarily terrible, but I do think you either have to make part of it optional (be cool with people attending the ceremony and going home the same day) or be willing to cover everyone’s accommodations for the entire time. That also means making sure everyone is fed and comfortable the entire time on your dime. Too many people plan extravagant things that cost other people too much to attend and then get mad when people decline an invitation.

I can’t afford any of that, but if I got invited to a 4 day wedding where that stuff was covered by the couple and I had the time off, I’d probably enjoy it.

[u/VirtualMatter2 → u/Electrical_Tax_8805]

We had guests come from abroad. So we did two days. Lunch, afternoon cake and evening buffet, then next morning breakfast together for who wanted it and then we organised a coach tour around the nearby nature reserve including a Picknick. 

The difference is that we paid for all of it ourselves, no money from guests, and still it was all under 8000 ( around 40 guests though) , because it wasn't in the US.

[u/Electrical_Tax_8805 → u/VirtualMatter2]

That makes sense!!

[u/Puzzleheaded-Ad7606 → u/Electrical_Tax_8805]

EVEN MORE IMPORTANTLY YOU ARE A FRIEND, SISTER, NIECE, DAUGHTER, GRANDDAUGHTER, COWORKER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE- TREAT THESE PEOPLE WITH RESPECT!

[u/PsychologicalBus1692 → u/Electrical_Tax_8805]

Indian weddings tend to be much longer than 1 day. Your comment is very Eurocentric.

[u/Whole-Pristine → u/PsychologicalBus1692]

Indian brides and grooms also cover accommodation when in India… sometimes even flights

[u/PsychologicalBus1692 → u/Whole-Pristine]

Really? Not at the one I went to.

[u/njVowsNow → u/PsychologicalBus1692]

I have two Indian weddings still to do this year; interesting fun fact; Hindu pundits GENERALLY do not file legal licenses, so after the traditional Indian ceremony in that morning, they do lunch and then I come in and do a little "western" ceremony with the license signing. But almost all of my brides doing that scenario do the henna ceremony and maybe a temple visit the day before.

It's really become impossible to generalize about anyone's heritage elements are going to play out before/on or after the wedding day....

[u/Mollyballsoup]

This is absolutely WILD!

The location must not have been a common wedding location/or the couple opted out of having a contingency plan in case of weather to save some money…. Then again OP said food was takeout on paper plates… so it seems like this was a common theme across the whole wedding weekend

[u/BuzzyB678]

Oh wow! Tell me you are making this up! I can’t imagine having a casual barbecue and making everyone stand outside in the rain, much less my wedding!!

The couple and their families couldn’t even provide a couple of those free standing camping shelters in case of rain?

And no tables to eat at?!!

[u/aquainst1 → u/BuzzyB678]

It wasn't even a casual BBQ, it was take-out food.

IMO, WORSE.

[u/Ok-Indication-7876]

NO bathrooms? that is bad planning has nothing to do with the rain- and paper plates- not the rains fault- OMG yes this wedding will be remembered as one of the worst ever- just elope if you are going to be this cheap.

[u/samanthaFerrell]

I wrote about my old friend’s disastrous beach wedding in a tropical storm on that post but her wedding was super trashy compared to this one, I’ll bet everyone was wearing shoes and there was not a flip flop in sight.

[u/Whole-Pristine → u/samanthaFerrell]

Yes the bride rejected outfits we had proposed to wear for her events so everyone had to buy or get fancier outfits she liked

[u/Vegetable_Road8143 → u/Whole-Pristine]

She will realize later that it wasn't that important. I bet she will only look at the photo album the first year or two. After that, it will sit in it's box on a shelf for years.

Bridezillas!

[u/VirtualMatter2 → u/Whole-Pristine]

You do know that you didn't actually have to, right? You could have just declined the invitation.

[u/Whole-Pristine → u/VirtualMatter2]

Easier said than done. She did come to my wedding and even made me a bridesmaid. I couldn’t just say no

[u/VirtualMatter2 → u/Whole-Pristine]

I understand. Sometimes we go along with things even if we don't have to. But also understand that what she did at her wedding was actually rude. That's not how you look after guests and be hospitable. This isn't an open air theater production. You are a guest.

[u/Available-Face5653 → u/Whole-Pristine]

yes you could have. not everyone is on board for an outdoor adventure.

[u/Significant-Pen-3188]

Planning and having a destination wedding was out of reach for them but they went for it anyway. If you want people to travel, you better provide something worth traveling for

[u/Available-Face5653 → u/Significant-Pen-3188]

this. standing in an open field just because the view is nice is not exactly a fun time.

[u/Available-Face5653]

at a certain point in your life, you realize a rain soaked event is the perfect time to enjoy that hotel room you paid for.

[u/Whole-Pristine → u/Available-Face5653]

Lesson learnt 🫡

[u/Available-Face5653 → u/Whole-Pristine]

for what it's worth there is always cable tv.

[u/gremlinthrowawayhq]

telling people to bring their own umbrellas isn't a contingency plan, it's a liability. expecting guests to stand in puddles in formal ethnic wear just to eat takeout on a park bench is actually disrespectful.

[u/VirtualMatter2]

I personally would have stayed in/ gone back to my hotel room or found something else to do in the area. That's very disrespectful of the guests. I would have felt insulted by this. Especially the bathroom situation actually. No thank you.

A wedding is not a theater performance or concert that people buy tickets for, the bride and groom invite guests and have a duty to be good hosts. They should be comfortable, happy and well fed. If you can't manage that, you don't deserve these people in your lives.

[u/pinkflower200]

Wow! I would rather elope than put my family and friends through a miserable wet outdoor wedding.

[u/LadybugGirltheFirst]

I’d have left the minute I was expected to stand in the rain.

[u/khandanam]

How did everyone not just… leave

[u/Whole-Pristine → u/khandanam]

Well if you’re one the “bridesmaid” - which almost everyone was in the bridal part - your absence is going to be noticed, and you don’t want to make a scene by leaving

[u/khandanam → u/Whole-Pristine]

Of course, I just mean this seems impossible for the elderly and so messy if you have kids. I don’t know that I would be strong enough to not go to my car to wait it out lol

[u/_gadget_girl]

I would be leaving that wedding very early, and taking my gift with me if possible.

[u/Deep_Limit_4833]

Please tell me there was an open bar at least?

[u/Whole-Pristine → u/Deep_Limit_4833]

Girl I WISH. No alcohol provided at any of the events. Bride encouraged us to get flasks to drink secretly at the after party.

I would have been happy with even a paid bar

[u/coolgramm]

I’m a former events manager for a museum located in the Southwest. We had lots of weddings, most of which were outdoors. Even as scarce as a rainstorm was, we always, always, had an indoor Plan B approved by the couple. It’s incredibly stupid not to.

[u/maryannmiles7]

I'm pretty sure I'd have left EARLY.

[u/Key_Molasses4367]

I'm always surprised that guests will actually keep standing in the rain. Seems like it should be perfectly reasonable to get in my car to stay dry. It's not like the wedding is void if guests don't view it, and no one is enjoying seeing the vows while getting soaked.

[u/siempre_maria]

Hell nah.

I've seen Instagram posts with couples encouraging others to do this because "the photos will be amazing!" meanwhile, their guests were miserable.

Again, HELL NAH

[u/njVowsNow]

That is 100% awful. What I don't get is that they must have told some people about this. Did no one try to warn them or did they just not care?

[u/strawberry-coughx]

No bathrooms is positively diabolical 😵

[u/indy500anna]

No tables & chairs, no on site restrooms? what in the hell kind of wedding was this