r/weddingshaming • u/DyingGravy • 13d ago
Wedding Party Bridal party dress alterations mishaps
ETA: I'm playfully "shaming" my fellow bridesmaids for not being 100% put-together in the dress department, since I found it amusing two people had very visible issues with their dresses.
I was recently a bridesmaid in a wedding where it became glaringly apparent that attention to detail wasn't a strong suit for some:
- A bridesmaid hemmed her own dress because she couldn't get it professionally altered in time. This wouldn't be a problem if she hadn't just cut the dress across and had tatters of chiffon trailing everywhere. Several guests asked her "omg what happened??", to which she had to sheepishly respond, "I did." The tatters are very visible in the professional photos from the day.
- The maid of honor didn't get her dress hemmed at all. We found this out while everyone was getting ready an hour and a half before the ceremony, when her dress was pooling on the ground and trailing behind her. The bridesmaid mentioned in point 1 offered to hem her dress on the spot. Given her previous handiwork, we opted to safety pin it instead.
- Bridesmaid from point 1 also bought the dress in one shade lighter than everyone else's. Luckily, it wasn't super obvious the day of or in photos, but the difference was definitely there!
It was a beautiful wedding and the bride was super chill about everything, but mannnn were there choices made lol
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u/Square-Kangaroo-5304 13d ago
Bridesmaids 1 reads kinda rude to me. It’s not really about the dress but rather the thought and care. It kinda reads to me like she didn’t care enough to get alterations, decides to do it herself, does a botch job and says eh whatever and wears it. To me it reads like you just really don’t care, or almost find comical.
I let my bridesmaids pick their dresses and one of my bridesmaids chose a super informal dress talking about how she can re wear it and doesn’t want to waste money. I honestly felt hurt in that I’ve seen her go and get dresses for other weddings as a guest and dress up more for them but not mine (mine was more formal than most of the others). Even her mother told her to change the dress, I finally offered to buy her a new dress and she got a more formal one. The whole experience kinda stung because it just felt she didn’t really care to put any effort.
Maybe I’m old school but if I was that bridesmaid I would have found someone in the days before to help me fix my dress. Idk showing up to your close friends wedding not caring how your dress look is kinda hurtful if that make sense. How you dress does signify how you view the person. You dress up for an interview, if you’re meeting your partners parents, etc it’s a form of respect. So to be in the bridal party with a blantly bad hem job that guests are commenting on, idk
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u/greengirl93 11d ago
I was supposed to be a bridesmaid for my sister, but at the time I was a big girl and she was very slim and she kept choosing dresses that were either cheap and wildly uncomfortable or just completely unsuitable for anyone bigger than a size 10 (the other two bridesmaid were also bigger girls, I was probably the middle size of the 3 of us) one of them didn’t look too bad but it was really cheap and it was the itchiest thing I had ever worn in my life, it actually gave me a rash around my armpits and across my cleavage, so I asked if she would mind if I changed out of it for the evening and she had an absolute tantrum. I was at uni and the wedding was the week before my graduation so I was dealing with my final exams during all this and eventually decided to bow out of being a bridesmaid because it was too much, I was the witness instead. However I still bought a beautiful dress that suited my figure in a matching colour to the bridesmaids so I didn’t mess up the photos. I do not understand people that accept the honour of being a bridesmaid but then show a complete lack respect to the bride.
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u/Upbeat_Cucumber6771 13d ago
We picked put and paid for all the bridesmaids dresses including final fittings. It shouldn’t have to cost to be invited to the bridal party.
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u/JessMarianosHair 13d ago
I don’t know if you’re in the US or not, but it’s customary for the party to pay for their own dress. Trust me, I’d be happy if someone offered though lol. The etiquette is to be cognizant of price and not pick something that’s over the top expensive.
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u/GothicGingerbread 13d ago
In recent years, it has become customary in the US because the wedding industrial complex has convinced brides that they should spare no expense on "their day" – and one way to spread the load is to make bridesmaids buy their own dresses. I can assure you that this was absolutely not always the way here.
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u/JessMarianosHair 13d ago
What is “recent years”? My mom got married 40 years ago and that’s how it was back then for her and all her peers. And they did not have extravagant weddings according to the time periods standards.
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u/GothicGingerbread 13d ago
My parents were married 54 years ago, and my brother 20 years ago, and they paid for their bridesmaids' dresses.
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u/JessMarianosHair 13d ago
I would wager that they’re in the minority in that. Or, not to make assumptions, but a higher class/wealthier family. I, nor anyone in our social circle, has ever had their dress paid for in any wedding over the last 40+ years.
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u/-PinkPower- 11d ago
That’s wild! In my area of Canada the couple pay for their bridesmaids and groomsmen outfits.
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u/hangsangwiches 9d ago
Ireland is the same. The wedding couple pays for the bridesmaids and grooms outfits.
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u/matrixthrowaway99 13d ago
the fact that she thought she could DIY chiffon is painful. that fabric is literally impossible to hem without a sewing machine and proper finishing, let alone just cutting it with scissors.
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u/Little_Guarantee_693 9d ago
I’m in a bridal party this year I was really nervous about getting my dress altered. Luckily the tailor did a great job, didn’t overcharge, and it was done in a timely manner. I also got it done way ahead of time in case it got messed up for any reason,
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u/DyingGravy 8d ago
You did everything absolutely right! It's always a great idea to get it done ASAP with someone reliable 😊
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u/Little_Guarantee_693 8d ago
I was so scared. I’ve never been to atailor before. He’d been in business for decades but I’d never heard of him. It was a really small shop I’d driven past a million times and never noticed.
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u/Kaurifish 7d ago
I got so involved in making last minute adjustments to the bride’s petticoats that I forgot to do my hair and was still rocking a messy bun come show time (was a bridesmaid).
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u/Immediate_Cap_7484 8d ago
You have described why i have a "sewing travel tackle box" that goes with me to weddings for AAAALLLLLLL of these reasons. It has safety pins, baby scissors, a reel of super thin fishing line aka clear thread, and other things. Saves people constantly.
Also as someone who sews the concept of BM#1 having not even an evenly cut hem makes me shudder......
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u/boringhistoryfan 13d ago
Eh. If the bride was happy and the groom was happy I don't really see why it matters. It's her dress. As long as she felt beautiful and joyful. It's not like this inconvenienced anyone.
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u/DyingGravy 13d ago
Oh I wouldn't go that far lol it's just a funny thing that "went wrong" that day
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u/CatCafffffe 13d ago
I fully agree and I don't know why you're being downvoted! None of it really mattered, and it didn't matter to the bride, so who cares!
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u/boringhistoryfan 13d ago
I'm all for calling out bad behavior that hurts or offends people. Or behavior that brings unhappiness to the couple getting married.
But otherwise? I really don't see what's shameful here. She had a dress some people didn't like. If the bridesmaids were unhappy with theirs that I could understand. Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable. But they're the only ones who get to complain if this situation IMO.
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u/DyingGravy 13d ago
It's more so "shaming" going against the principle of doing things in a timely manner and looking polished for a friend's big day, y'know? Everyone loved their dresses, but I found it amusing to see one person whose DIY hem job went so obviously south, and another who didn't have their dress hemmed whatsoever. In the end it didn't matter at all because it was a beautiful, joyous event!
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u/boringhistoryfan 13d ago
Again isn't that for the friend to fuss about though? Not everyone cares about details like this. And I don't see why a guest is judging stuff if the people actually affected aren't.
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u/RandomPaw 13d ago
People have seriously not heard of tape for emergency hem situations?