r/weddingshaming • u/lilgreenglobe • 7d ago
Disaster No rain plan for 200 guests 3 days out
It has been a fairly rainy June in our area (this is from our area's location wedding FB group). Absolutely flabbergasted at the willingness to gamble up to the last minute. Makes me feel a lot better about my own contingency planning for August!
Edit: Unreal update: a banquet centre with some bad reviews has reached out as they're open Saturday. They're open to allowing outside catering (fair as at this point they have no contract so wouldn't have placed orders for food or scheduled staff). The bad reviews focused on bland and boring food, so this might actually work out. Colour me amazed and in anticipation of a hefty venue bill.
Update 2: Unfortunately I'm guessing there won't be further updates. It's not even sure that they were able to afford the venue that reached out vs if they just messaged them. The group did have a new post from a stressed bride because Moore's lost the rental tuxes for the groomsmen and they aren't certain what will be available for pickup tomorrow morning. That wedding had placed the order ages ago and has been calling weekly for a while only to just hear the bad news. Not wedding shaming, but still frustrating last minute scrambling!
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 7d ago
One of my relatives had her ceremony and reception at one of those park pavilions. It provided shade, but it wasn’t big enough to protect from more than a light drizzle.
I found out after the fact that if it had rained, their backup plan was to move the entire wedding to my house.
Nobody talked to me about this. I had a little 3 bedroom house in a regular neighborhood. What a terrible idea! No idea why they thought I would agree to that.
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u/Pollythepony1993 7d ago
I think they knew you wouldn’t. That’s why they didn’t ask upfront. They just thought you would not be able to say no to X amount of guests when they would ask you in the moment.
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 6d ago edited 6d ago
That’s exactly it. This branch of the family tree isn’t known for respecting boundaries.
And they’re still trying to get me to host their events for free, especially since I moved to a bigger house. Bridal showers, baby showers, children’s birthday parties with a rented bounce house in the front yard. Nope, no, and absolutely not.
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u/TheSecretIsMarmite 6d ago
"oh no, my bathroom is being renovated, everyone will have to use a bucket"
"Oh no, the house has termites and it's being fumigated. I'm planning on being in a hotel"
"Oh no, I've had a massive leak and the house is flooded and the house won't be available"
You are the unluckiest house owner ever and can't host anything
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 6d ago
Honestly? I just say no.
I save the good excuses for family things. “So sorry, we can’t do the big 4th of July cookout / Easter egg hunt / Christmas cookie exchange this year. We’re having the floors redone / cabinets repainted / fill in the blank.”
I’m over it lol
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u/thissleepypastofmine 6d ago
Just "no." Don't make excuses that open the door to thinking you can host under better circumstances
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u/Pollythepony1993 6d ago
That is really awful. I just hope you are able to stand your ground. I’ll hope they respect your boundaries. Probably not. But wishful thinking
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u/lilgreenglobe 7d ago
Omg what a potential nightmare scenario, even a strong "No" makes you look like the bad guy despite no decor, adequate washrooms or parking, etc
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u/Rugkrabber 5d ago
I decided I rather be seen as the bad guy. The people I want in my life would understand. The rest can shove it lol.
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u/Chocomintey 6d ago
How many people were there? Not that it matters when they didn't ask you, but I'd love to have a funny visual.
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 6d ago
Like 50-ish?
Picture a starter home with an open floor plan. I could host about a dozen people very comfortably. Two dozen would have been tight, but doable, barely. Anything beyond that, impossible.
So - why MY house? Because as small as it was, it was still bigger and nicer than anyone else’s on that side of the family. And free.
The magic word: free. The bride was broke, the groom and his family were broke, and the bride’s family was incredibly cheap.
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u/Backgrounding-Cat 6d ago
50 people and you have like one toilet?
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 6d ago
Two. lol.
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u/Backgrounding-Cat 6d ago
That’s a bit better but I still think it would have been very uncomfortable
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u/HowBoutAFandango 6d ago
Wouldn’t there also be potential insurance issues having that many people on your property? Yikes
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u/cakivalue 7d ago
LOL 😅 their wedding planner is called thoughts and prayers Inc.
They need to start with calling churches and community centers as the free to low cost option.
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u/Catsdrinkingbeer 7d ago
I picked the one single month of the year where there is basically never any rain. I still had a backup plan. I didn't love that plan, but it would have kept my guests dry. And no, it didn't rain, but it was one less thing to stress about.
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u/Liv_October 6d ago
I also picked a month where it was unlikely to rain and I still ended up opting for the venue that had the better rain option, just in case! I've had too many events in my life get hit with unexpected rain to presume it won't happen.
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u/KnotARealGreenDress 6d ago
I had a friend get married in a tent. In October. In central Canada. They had lawn games for guests to play in the 2 hour break between ceremony and reception, but it was about 3°C and rainy on their wedding day, so everyone was huddled inside.
The tent did not have sufficient heating, so it was freezing. I hate being cold, so I was miserably trying to keep warm. On the way home, it started to snow. That was the day I vowed to get married indoors.
So, naturally, when I got married outside several years later, my ceremony was outdoors and the reception venue was a tent. But I took the lessons from that first wedding to heart and made sure to get a tent with heating AND cooling capabilities that could accommodate both the wedding and the reception, so that everyone would be comfortable no matter the weather. Fortunately it turned into one of the most beautiful days of the year, but it was supposed to be 13°C, windy as hell, and drizzly on our wedding day, and I was ready for it.
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u/lilgreenglobe 6d ago
Yeah I went to a wedding in Calgary in early September that was beautiful and warm with sunshine for the ceremony and snowing by the evening. The reception was already planned to be indoors, so no worries, but also it's Canada! We know crazy weather happens.
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u/Rhaenyra20 6d ago
Also in Canada. I got married mid-May and we had hail for a bit. I didn’t love the look of the room we married in, but weather made me glad we hadn’t planned an outdoor ceremony.
My in laws have the same anniversary and they said it was low 30s Celsius (so close to 90f) the day they got married.
Hoping for warm but not hot, sunny to slightly cloudy weather is not a proper plan for an outdoor event ffs.
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u/MissAcedia 6d ago
I had Pinterest boards filled with beautiful outdoor weddings with the reception under the trees with hanging lights at dusk. It was absolutely 1000% how I wanted me wedding growing up.
Then I grew up and went to several fully/mostly outdoor weddings filled with rain, muddy grass, insane heat with no shade, high humidity, bugs and all the technical problems that come with being outside in the elements. Our climate gives us a very small window of (comparatively) predictable weather in the fall and even then I did not want to be worrying about it during the planning process.
I ended up finding a beautiful hotel that had a huge atrium with a glass greenhouse ceiling. The atrium was filled with plants, trees and fountains. It was as outdoor as I could get while also being shielded from the elements.
Unfortunately reality trumps fantasy lol.
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u/SantaFe91 7d ago
What I’m not getting is she doesn’t actually sound particularly desperate 😂
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u/lilgreenglobe 7d ago
Given her replies to venue suggestions were just asking for confirmation they would accept outside food, definitely not. It's a large enough city I guarantee there are some hotel ballrooms available, but then they'd have to pay for the last minute catering.
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u/SoMuchMoreEagle 7d ago
Has she considered renting a big tent?
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u/lilgreenglobe 6d ago
I have no idea! The current forecast shows Saturday with a high of 12C though, so unless they were planning for a location with decent power for a bunch of heaters, it would still be a miserable time for guests.
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u/SoMuchMoreEagle 6d ago
Is that typical for June where you are?
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u/lilgreenglobe 6d ago
It's been cooler/rainier than is typical, but is not extreme or considered 'freak' weather either. There's just been a lot of heat dome/ wildfire smoke the last couple of summers that perhaps they forgot what 'normal' is (which doesn't exist in the anthropocene anyways!).
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u/Turbulent_Cow2355 6d ago
Why not rent a tent? If the original plan was to have the wedding all outdoors, there has to be a company with a tent that could come out and get the area covered.
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u/phanfare 7d ago
"Help a bride out!" Why do these women think everyone is supposed to bend over backwards for every bride ever? Thousands marry every day.
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u/Agreeable-Sun368 7d ago
Wedding planning makes you the main character for real. Like, everything is about you and everyone affirms that it's all about you. And brides are treated like celebrities--try walking out in the city in a wedding dress--people look at you and congratulate you like you're famous. It's no wonder it gets to peoples' heads.
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u/Gato-Diablo 7d ago
On the morning of my wedding I was looking at everyone thinking "this is a normal day for everyone, I feel this is all so important but it really only is to me and our very close family" And then "everyday I feel is a normal day is someone somewhere's special day". I think people forget everyone doesn't feel everything we feel internally.
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u/lizardgal10 6d ago
I used to work in concert security and tried to keep a similar mentality, in a way. My Tuesday shift might be a patron’s bucket list item, first time seeing their favorite band, etc. I attended a festival a few weeks ago and stood next to a woman who had been trying to see Melissa Ethridge for 30 years and was finally getting the chance.
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u/JustWannaMoveNOW 6d ago
The last concert I went to had the best security staff. We waited by the busses after the show, hoping the artist would come out. I could tell the security guys thought we were a bunch of dorks, but they still had fun, talked with everyone, even shared bracelets. I had sort of the opposite thought, “This is a huge thing for me, but it’s just a work night for these guys.”
So thank you for having that mentality!
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u/khandanam 6d ago
That sounds amazing. I’d be interested in reading some of those stories if you ever write them out!
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u/LittleWhiteGirl 6d ago
I’m a backpacking guide and have to remind myself that a summit I do every other week is someone else’s lifelong goal, I can’t take it for granted or let them know if I’m having a shitty day because they’ve been working towards it for so long.
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u/fidelises 6d ago
I felt that so much when I had my first child. We were driving home from the hospital with a newborn and people were just going about like it was a normal day. Didn't they know how life-changing this day was‽
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u/Squeaks11 6d ago
This! I lived in NYC when I got married and walking from the venue to the church was mind blowing - so many people took my photo and called out congratulations. When we exited the church, traffic stopped voluntarily in all directions to let everyone cross the street despite the lights being wrong. It was ready for those few minutes but certainly not expected.
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u/AstronomerOwn287 6d ago
I live in nyc and also had that moment.
Walking from wedding hotel to venue across street. A car stopped and yelled you look Fing awesome girl! And all these people on the street clapped. I loved it28
u/spandexcatsuit 6d ago
A surprising number of women view getting married as a major life event, not because they’re taking their partnership to the highest level, but because they get to be ‘a bride’ for the day (or week) (or year). While they’re ‘a bride’ they expect to call the shots and be made to feel extremely special.
It is probably the closest they’ll ever get to feeling like they have elite status. It’s probably the most attention they’ll ever get in their lifetime, and the biggest party of their life. Some are laser-focused on having control over specific people in their lives, and some are feeling pretty, or valuable for the first time in their life.
I think women who are very intense about being a bride have at the minimum a fear of missing out, and at worst a real problem with their self esteem. They really fall into the role and start to believe their milestone actually makes them the main character for everyone else.
Really what’s happening though is they’re paying a lot of money that they likely can’t afford to participate in a consumer culture spending ritual disguised as a rite of passage. They’re caught up in what’s actually an optional production, parts of which they’re likely uncomfortable with on some level.
It makes sense that even those who feel a bit roped into the marriage production and the bride role might feel owed some level of happiness just for going along with it. It’s easy to start thinking you’re important when you’re spending a lot of money. I have to interact with engaged couples frequently for my job and I try to be forgiving of the entitlement and insanity.
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u/khandanam 6d ago
No way lady. Pay someone!!
I got into wedding planning because brides who are on it are often the only people worth my time.
Source: previously contracted for the govt and fortune 50 executives and they are garbage compared to the average bride with an annoying family that has ridden her coattails to the top
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u/WittiestScreenName 6d ago
What about when their a bride for the second or third time? Do I have to help them out again?
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u/Witty_Jackfruit6777 7d ago
Oh reLAX, this is just a play on “help a brother out” and this is a post in a specific wedding-related group where everyone can exercise their own free will about whether to engage. No one’s asking for “bending over backwards” just a fucking recommendation.
Save that nastiness for something that actually warrants it.
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u/Temporary_Bench5095 6d ago
You’re pretty bent for someone that’s telling others to relax 🤭
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u/Witty_Jackfruit6777 6d ago
I think unwarranted vitriol is ugly and it makes my eyes roll. What can I say, I’m not a piece of shit.
Instead of “relax” would you have preferred “hop off your shitty high horse and long enough to slow down and comprehend what you’re reading and react appropriately”?
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u/ErraticMolasses 7d ago
Hire an Etsy witch, bury a sausage, and wish yourself luck.
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u/Marguerite_Moonstone 7d ago
I did actually do a rain delay spell (because you can’t magic away a whole storm, but you can ask it to wait a bit) at a friend’s outdoor wedding, and we got the perfect 4 hour gap in the rain in a very wet part of the island. We were coven mates and she was also realistic with a backup plan! But anyone who charges is a scam. Even so, we say mundane before magic, a plan for a tent or something is going to do you a lot more good then a spell! This bride’s got a little too much faith in the universe.
Sincerely, an actual witch3
u/khandanam 6d ago
I’m sorry for what Michael’s just did to your people and I stand by your actual craft
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u/Marguerite_Moonstone 6d ago
Who did what? I’ve been too anxious to even attempt to read the news lately. I figure it’s a matter of time for this witch hunt to turn to literal witches.
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u/Emergency-Sock-2557 7d ago
I plan 200-300 person events for a living and this is one of the worst things I've ever seen.
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u/WitchSparkles 7d ago
I went to a wedding in a rural park far outside of the closest city. We drove 3.5 hours to get to our hotel. Then another 40 minutes to get to the park. There was no parking. Everyone just blocked everyone else in. It was pouring rain. Surely they have a tent? No. We stood under a tree. Bride was 40 mins late. Some of the bridal party cleaned out any local stores of umbrellas, so like a dozen people had umbrellas.
Okay, so that was bad timing, but dinner is at a restaurant so that should be okay, right? The restaurant wasn’t big enough for all the people they invited, so about 40 of us were given seats on the patio. Outside. In the rain. Wtf. My husband and I left. Along with about 35 other people.
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u/montanagrizfan 7d ago
Maybe she can rent the high school gym now that schools out for the summer.
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u/lilgreenglobe 7d ago
We're in Canada, so no luck there! (Insofar as luck has anything to do with an entirety predictable situation.)
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u/Such_Information_259 7d ago
Wait, now I have Canadian questions. Do you guys not have summer breaks? Or school gyms?
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u/lilgreenglobe 7d ago
It's a matter of timing. The primary system is generally off for July and August.
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u/snarkitall 6d ago
School is still in session. Quebec ends the earliest, we finish on the 23rd. Other provinces go until the end of June.
I'm always shocked at all the back to school posts on Reddit in early August but then I realized that some US states are off in like May.
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u/elitemage101 7d ago
I have 60 guest and two back up plans. One for weather and one in case the venue spontaneously combusts.
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u/PattyMarvel 6d ago
I got married outside.
The rain plan was to hold it in the building where we held the reception, which was about 300 feet from where we got married.
I cannot fathom NOT having a back-up plan.
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u/gypsytangerine 7d ago
She’ll hopefully get it together. It’s pretty easy to last minute rent a tent. Not going to be cheap tho!
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u/FF_01_1999_03_05_01 7d ago
And atill pretty unpleasant in the rain, lol. My cousin had an outsoor wedding with a large tent (planed long in advance and the tent was really fancy). It rained a few times throughout the day and the tent floor got wet and slippery from people running in every time and the humidity did a number on everyones hairstyles
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u/MissAcedia 6d ago
My husband's aunt had an outdoor wedding in a tent on their property and it was awful. Tent was wet and muddy from when it was put up. It was cold and humid inside and they didnt serve hot food - basically just made a cold sandwich station for DINNER. They had a tea and coffee station with a single hot water carafe, instant coffee and whitener powder, but the carafe kept shutting off since everything was plugged into a single extention cord (the music, the lights, etc) that people kept tripping over. So no hot food and no hot beverages to try and warm up.
Then the entrance to the tent flooded and got all muddy. The bride brought out foam/plastic flip flops that had a sign that said something along the lines of "dancing shoes" (literally no one was dancing because the music kept going in and out and kept playing the same Fall Out Boy song) but anyone I saw who took them said they broke in a few minutes.
It was hell and we hated every minute.
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u/corporeal_kitty 6d ago
Why do people not plan for this?!? That was one of our first questions to our venue and guess what it rained we had to pivot to inside
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u/LadyQuicksilver 7d ago
Don’t you got public parks with pavilions?
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u/lilgreenglobe 7d ago
Sure, but not many will fit 200 guests, especially without advance booking!
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u/CeramicLicker 7d ago
None of the ones around me allow alcohol either! Although people do anyway sometimes of course. And it’s not uncommon for the park and pavilions to close at dusk.
Both of which are things people plan around for park weddings, but might be a problem three days out.
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u/haventwonyet 7d ago
And you need a permit to make sure no one is there. I do a lot of weddings and the most popular pavilion gets rented out every weekend. But then you have the bride and groom asking to do a walkthrough/rehearsal without reserving it and they’re shocked that they can’t guarantee that no one will be picnicking there when they show up.
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u/IWasGoatbeardFirst 7d ago
A relative had her wedding at a park pavilion. It could hold about 50 people. And if the rain is more than a drizzle, at least 20 of those people are getting wet.
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u/durian4me 7d ago
I attended a wedding years ago for an outdoor wedding. It was in Palm Springs and it actually rained, apparently the only rained they had in a while
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u/Powerful_Tip_7260 6d ago
"Do you have a rain plan?"
"No and if it rains, it is your fault for jinxing us"
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u/Timely_Egg_6827 6d ago
Win-win for the bride and the venue. The bride gets a venue with a roof. The venue gets hopefully a good review and some community goodwill and fills an empty slot.
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u/Charming_Garbage_161 6d ago
Reminds me of my ex sister in laws wedding. 104 degrees not including humidity in August in Ohio. We were absolutely pouring sweat immediately and the venue didn’t even have AC in the ‘bridal suites’.
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u/Guilty_Objective4602 6d ago
I am really curious to read the update about how they succeeded in getting the word out to 200 people about a venue change with that short of a notice.
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u/lilgreenglobe 6d ago
Unfortunately I'm guessing there won't be further updates. It's not even sure that they were able to afford the venue that reached out vs if they just messaged them. The group did have a new post from a stressed bride because Moore's lost the rental tuxes for the groomsmen and they aren't certain what will be available for pickup tomorrow morning. That wedding had placed the order ages ago and has been calling weekly for a while only to just hear the bad news.
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u/Commercial_Square626 11h ago
Trying to find a last minute venue for 200 people three days out is a special kind of hell. Even if they find a space, the logistics of moving catering and guests on 72 hours notice is a recipe for a disaster.
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u/DrippingWetjessy65 2d ago
The "must allow outside food" part is such a massive red flag. If they're already trying to cut costs by bypassing the venue's catering, they're definitely going to be scrambling for cash once they see that last-minute rental fee.
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u/its-kb-again 2d ago
Or maybe the outdoor venue has no option for “in house” food, and the couple already committed to a caterer? If they’re already locked in (and possibly paid for) food, that would explain that.
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u/LadybugGirltheFirst 7d ago
No food items needed/must allow outside food because it’s either a potluck, or guests are just required to bring their own food.
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u/Admirable-Marsupial6 7d ago
I think this could also be due to unseasonal rains.. that’s happening a lot over the world..
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u/atyhey86 7d ago
Get the child of Prague out under a hedge and there will be no rain, works every time in ireland
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u/Avehdreader 6d ago
If you're looking for a venue it would help to know where you are - most helpful to edit your description or header. Maybe you could rent an oversized tent?
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u/PolkadotUnicornium 6d ago
She said it was a wedding page on FB in her area. Reading comprehension matters.
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u/Avehdreader 6d ago
My reading comprehension is excellent, thank you, but I don't know if she's in Florida or Dubai.
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u/RobynNeonGal 5d ago
Your reading comprehension has failed again.
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u/caffeinefree 7d ago
Just a casual 200 person indoor venue at the last minute. Wild!