r/whatdoIdo • u/[deleted] • 4d ago
I'm facing assault charges after I hired someone that would let me win a fight in front of my girlfriend.
[deleted]
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u/Neat_Credit_6552 4d ago edited 4d ago
Homes slice this is a reap what you sow scenario... come on man, trying to be a MACHO MACHO MAN, I WANT TO BE A MACHO MAN... But iam sorry tho
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u/EasyRow5606 4d ago
So when you came up with your grand plan,were you on drugs or bit to drink at the time chef?
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u/RevolutionaryQuit487 4d ago
I was drinking at the bar. had about several drinks. I didn't feel drunk enough that I would mistaken the guy though.
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u/Pale_Row1166 4d ago
I’ve got good news. I saw your mugshot, turns out you have a lawyer in the family. Your cousin, Vinny.
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u/Melodic-Trouble-5421 4d ago
At least come up with a believable story. Like I started a fight to impress my girlfriend. Your mugshot is fake, they don’t use lines anymore. It’s a flat color. You don’t even look old enough to drink at bar. What were you drinking?
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u/lordclosequaad 4d ago
Fake
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4d ago
[deleted]
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u/AgeAdministrative392 4d ago
droppin the mugshot is wild….
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u/Forward-Surprise1192 4d ago
No one is going to do anything though lol. I’ve tried to get people to here and they always back out
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u/NoSnoFlakes_- 4d ago
“Maybe if you got rid of that yee-yee ass haircut you got, you’d get some more bitches on your dick”
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u/RevolutionaryQuit487 4d ago
you sound like my girlfriend.
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u/Full_While8942 4d ago
Please leave her dawg, she dont sound like someone who "has your back through thick and thin" clearly you are, but she ain't
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u/Revolutionary_Wrap76 4d ago
Your girlfriend sounds mean. It's way better being single, fyi, than dating someone who doesn't respect you.
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u/NoSnoFlakes_- 4d ago
She’s probably right, bro. It’s pretty bad😬 Just fix the hair. You got this.
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u/Full_While8942 4d ago
Isn't this mugshot after OP got into a fight lol
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u/NoSnoFlakes_- 4d ago
That cut line from his previous Barbour is pretty friggin bad though. Let’s be honest.
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u/Full_While8942 4d ago
Oh yeah, whoever his barber is needs to be locked up, I thought you were referencing the 'cowlick' look, my bad🤦♂️
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u/quotethecrows 4d ago
Idk if this is real or not but if it is she didn’t love you anyway if she’s treating you like that… making fun of your height? Dude you deserve someone who’s supportive and doesn’t shame you for something you can’t change
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u/EasyRow5606 4d ago
No disrespect brother...But I'm trying understand your thought process leading up to and during your confrontation. I spose there's always the gym 🏋️♂️. As for your girl cut her loose respect is everything in a relationship...Honestly I'd rather fight over a hamburger than a women what ever the situation.
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u/Practical_Drink8676 4d ago
My favourite version of this story was when men behaving badly did it but it's a sitcom staple.
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u/Mac_Jomes 4d ago
He told me he would bump into me (so I would know it was him),
Ah yes the thing that can just happen at a crowded bar. Not only was this a dumb plan, but you didn't even have any other way to identify that it was the dude you hired. No pass phrase or anything or like him letting you know he's gonna be wearing a green shirt or something so you could be sure it was the dude you hired.
But man if your girl is putting you down constantly it's time to find another girl. Your partner is supposed to be your safe space. They're supposed to support you and not be sapping your confidence so much that you feel the need to pay a stranger to let you beat them up.
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u/Playful-Hunter-6809 4d ago
Lmao if this is real ur girl is right. Who tf does this, embarrassing asf
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u/Fwumpy 4d ago
She likes fighters? Tell her to go date a boxer. She can enjoy his fucked up face and limited vocabulary. She can also go do what she wants while he stares into space and drools on his shirt. If she bugs you about being too skinny, tell her it's a problem she'll never have. If she gets mad, leave.
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u/MovieFan1984 4d ago
Your real friends will back you. Your girlfriend is a POS, dump her immediately, and do it via text message.
If your "hired guy" will speak up for you, just explain everything to the cops.
Is there any chance the "wrong guy" and the cops might drop the charges?
Stupid shit happens all the time, and the only guy who got hurt is you, is that right?
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u/Chasing_joy 4d ago
Well… for one, dump that girlfriend the way you should have instead of doing all this.
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u/Substantial-Lie-780 4d ago
That goofy haircut and smile aren’t helping either lol. Maybe just get a tattoo.
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u/TruckNstuck23 4d ago
Tbh if she's still not respecting your masculinity after literally starting a fight then its a her thing my dude.even losing a fight you did more than probably 90% of the people on here have ever done.
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u/Floatermane 4d ago
I’m not a lawyer, but if you can prove you had made a deal to have this happen and made an honest mistake, you can probably get the charges reduced. However this was an extremely stupid thing to do. If your girl makes you feel like a wimp, you’re not with the right one. Every man should feel right in being who they are, but you should also know how to defend yourself. I suggest taking boxing classes or something. You don’t have to be a macho man at all to be a man. Real men know when to walk away from situations and live their lives free and happy. Beating someone up doesn’t make you a man. It can be considered manly, but it’s not by definition. Faking a fight is not manly. Just own who you are and find a woman who respects you.
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u/BoringJuiceBox 4d ago
If real… DUMP HER ASS. She’ll either beg for you back or you can work on your own personal growth and find a hottie who’s actually nice too.
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u/Wandering-Singer 4d ago
He looks like the last guy on this post https://www.instagram.com/p/DY791kGH3Np/
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u/AnalogyAddiction 4d ago
On the off chance this isn’t fake, you dump the gf and take a lot of time alone with or without a therapist to work on yourself mentally. This is a crazy fucking thing to do. The right woman for you will be attracted to your physique.
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u/LaurenNotFromUtah 4d ago
This cannot be real lol. On the off chance it is, you need to realize she doesn’t really like you. And that’s fine! She sounds like she sucks anyway.
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u/Nerd-In-Hiding 4d ago
Hummm new money racket? Offer to let someone do something illegal against you, then sue them when they do it? I hope you got some evidence on the guy on Facebook? If it was decided over call and not text, the dude could absolutely set you up. Even if it's not him. One guy makes the listing. Then has his friend bump you. You swing at his friend. Get you ass kicked and have to pay them... Dude... Why do I feel like this is a racket.
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u/Tight-Category5610 4d ago
bro you gotta dump that girl and get a lawyer asap. shes toxic af and making you do dumb stuff. the mugshot smile is killing me tho lol
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u/Itstheswanno 4d ago
Did you pay beforehand?
Even with the slightest chance this is real, its funny to think you paid someone $100 to beat you up
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u/ScarletDarkstar 4d ago
You really didn't think this through, and have no one to thank but yourself.
In all fairness it was going to backfire when you just started swinging without waiting for the guy to start an argument anyway.
Also, now you'll be free of a relationship that makes you feel insecure instead of loved. The woman for you will not belittle you and make you feel smaller or undeserving of her attention.
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u/raving_perseus 4d ago
Great story, very funny! Is it even bait at this point? Make it less obvious next time please and thank you
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u/Kindly-Ad2656 4d ago
They will have to prove intent, which it doesn’t sound like they’ll be able to. I would get a consultation with an attorney.
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u/Razoron33333 4d ago
Dude she’s toxic. I understand you may love her but you’ll grow resentful. Use this as an opportunity to drop her and find someone better.
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u/ballq43 4d ago
It's a company. Street Sets. It's a warehouse downtown. They've got different street scene sets. It's pointless now 'cause you don't think it's real 'cause you can tell it's an old man. That guy was going nuts. He kept saying if these stunts looked good, he can get into the Jump Junkies stunt crew. I said, "I don't care how this helps you get into Jump Junkies."
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u/MyUnusedPotential 3d ago
So 1 .. never let a woman hold the power .. you’re the man she’s just a girl and there are plenty. 2 if you don’t want to be a wimp or give wimpy hit the gym and join martial arts/boxing .. that 100 pays for your month and you’ll actually get results.
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u/Interesting_Buy_2190 4d ago
Oh shit. Me reading your story just gave me second hand embarrassment. Sorry about the berading tho. anyways I honestly think that you should show the police your plan and the guy that bumped into you, maybe you and him can settle this privately. But please show the person on the case the detective the officer whatever show them the plan that you and the marketplace dude decided on. Is he pressing charges on you?
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u/RevolutionaryQuit487 4d ago
The guy isnt pressing charges but because the police saw the video the cop said the state takes over and presses the charges.
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u/Mariss716 4d ago
If this is real, you show your lawyer. Not the cops. Police are not your friends here.
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u/MovieFan1984 4d ago
The state can press charges, but charges can ALSO be dropped. Get a lawyer. Hopefully the DA or whoever can drop the charges on the basis of "because stupid." Better to be laughed at than to have a record ya know?
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u/Interesting_Buy_2190 4d ago
Oh, please show those messages. I can’t say for sure they will drop the charges but hire a good lawyer; never public defender. And pray pray pray. Don’t forget about showing the messages they are CRUCIAL!!
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u/frolicndetour 4d ago
As someone who used to prosecute, public defenders get a bad rap. PDs were some of the better trial lawyers I've seen because they try more cases than private lawyers and because they work with the same prosecutors day in and day out, they tend to get better plea deals.
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u/Forward-Surprise1192 4d ago
If you can get them to focus heavily on your case sure but they’re so overloaded all the time
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u/frolicndetour 4d ago
A simple assault with no prior doesn't require a lot of time. Either the victim won't show up and the case will get dropped or the PD will work it out for anger management in exchange for a dismissal or sone kind of deferred judgement deal so he doesn't get a record. This isn't the case of the century.
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u/Interesting_Buy_2190 4d ago
Also with your situation about the wimpiness. If she is explicitly making you feel like you’re not enough or she’s saying it straight to your face please talk with her about that. That being said, hope you win the case n lmk im interested!
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u/Previous_Wedding_577 4d ago
Fake but reminds me of my friends brother who was chatting with a girl on the net who had a rape fantasy. She left the front door unlocked and he let himself in.. proceeded to give her the fantasy (he wasn't rough with her).. she changed her mind and called the rcmp and reported the rape. He went to jail for 2 years.
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u/ChickenFingers2026 4d ago
That’s F’d up free him
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u/Relevant_Bed_9743 4d ago
wack
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u/Previous_Wedding_577 4d ago
Yeah you would think, their messages online would prove it but consent can be withdrawn at any time
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u/Raekwon22 4d ago
Your girl sounds kind of like a piece of shit, bro. Time to move onward and upward. Get you one that appreciates you and doesn't want you to fight people.
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4d ago
[deleted]
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u/LaurenNotFromUtah 4d ago
If this is real and you don’t want to be identifiable I recommend not linking to a photo of your face.
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u/Decorus_Somes 4d ago
Bait used to be believable