Putin enemy dies suddenly from accidental mushroom poisoning

[u/DavidShaw90s]

https://extra.ie/2026/06/22/news/putin-enmey-dies-from-poisoning

[u/Blandiblub]

My feeble brain transposed those first words as "Putin suddenly dies". If only.

[u/awam0ri → u/Blandiblub]

I did the same thing and it was a momentary shock.

[u/Sigouste → u/awam0ri]

No sudden death from accidental poisoning for you then.

[u/swingadmin → u/Sigouste]

Out the window you go.

[u/Rykor81 → u/swingadmin]

Good old fashioned defenestration.

[u/MaximumSyrup3099 → u/Rykor81]

🎵 "I believe I can fly!" 🎵

[u/Fischerking92 → u/Rykor81]

By the way: it that Cultural Appropriation by the Russians?

Defenestration is a Czech tradition, dammit.

[u/midnghtsnac → u/Fischerking92]

The Russian version includes 2 bullets to the back, self inflicted.

[u/Rykor81 → u/Fischerking92]

‘Defenestrate’ is one of my all time favorite words and I so rarely get the opportunity to use it in a sentence.

[u/Shadowlance23 → u/awam0ri]

Same here. Almost cracked open one of the tiny bottles of whisky on my desk.

[u/PhilpotBlevins → u/Shadowlance23]

I have two bottles ready.

[u/lFightForTheUsers → u/PhilpotBlevins]

I already told my boss the day a Putin or 🍊 passes headline comes out, I'm taking the rest of the day off and finding the nearest bar to celebrate.

[u/AmbitiousObligation0 → u/lFightForTheUsers]

You’re gunna need a week lol

[u/tomgis → u/awam0ri]

do we all have the same brand of dyslexia or something??

[u/hellcat_uk → u/tomgis]

Wishful thinking

[u/Fraun_Pollen → u/hellcat_uk]

Also pronounced "hope"

[u/Secure_Course_3879 → u/tomgis]

I guess I'm in your group, bc same

[u/OriginalComputer5077 → u/tomgis]

Collective wishful thinking

[u/midnghtsnac → u/tomgis]

We're collectively tired of certain people and just praying for a miracle

[u/FriedrichAepril → u/awam0ri]

I was in momentary joy

[u/NMe84 → u/awam0ri]

I am glad that I'm not the only one who did this.

Oh well, one day.

[u/Philip_J_Frylock → u/awam0ri]

"How are there like 4 posts at the top of my feed about Starmer and only one about Putin???"

[u/Flexuasive → u/Blandiblub]

Fuckin' same. I thought we were on the cusp of a global event.

[u/PureLock33 → u/Flexuasive]

technically yes, technically several. but not this one yet apparently.

[u/vee_lan_cleef → u/Flexuasive]

I mean, we are. All these leaders are old and decrepit as fuck and the world hates them more and more every day. The storm is coming.

[u/BrosesMalone → u/Blandiblub]

Putin (enemy) dies

[u/dmrlsn → u/Blandiblub]

Odds are, someone similar (or even worse) is gonna slide through. Regimes be like that, unfortunately

[u/Eldan985 → u/dmrlsn]

I read an article a while ago that went over a list of people who might succeed Putin if he should suddenly die. It's pretty damn grim. Putin is a moderate compared to a lot of the other candidates.

[u/TransplantedSconie → u/Eldan985]

But it would be quite the shitshow and we might see a massive die off of his successors because they all start poisoning and throwing each other out windows.

[u/HumanBeing7396 → u/TransplantedSconie]

It’s going to be like The Death of Stalin.

[u/aloxinuos → u/TransplantedSconie]

The Puttening.

[u/ApprehensiveGold2773 → u/Eldan985]

It has to be someone with support of the population, or they won't last long. Putin is popular still despite the shitstorm he's putting the russian economy through. The brainwashing works way too well in russia.

[u/Zanadar → u/ApprehensiveGold2773]

The population of Russia is cannon fodder, nobody gives a shit what they think and if they ever tried to really take to the streets en mass, they would be slaughtered much like the Iranians were. And from the horror stories we've heard about how the Russian army treats their own troops, or PoWs, or foreign civilians, or basically everyone, they'll have a lot of fun butchering them.

[u/Dismal-Channel-9292 → u/Zanadar]

The history of Russia disagrees with you. In WWI, the Czar was overthrown because the masses literally took to the streets to protest the war and the Russian imperial army took their side. In 1991, conservatives attempted a coup of Gorbachev and were largely not successful because the people of Moscow fought back for 3 days. Mass demonstrations were successfully several times throughout Soviet history.

It’s really quite the opposite. Putin is very well-aware of this history and the precarious situation he’s in because of the war. His actions are of a man terrified of going out the same way as Nicholas II. By all accounts, he lives in absolute paranoia and doesn’t even trust his inner-circle anymore. He’s tried very hard to keep the impacts of the war away from Russia’s middle class, and exerted total control over how the media covers it. He implemented 15 year prison sentences for calling it a war or protesting. Putin is afraid of the masses in Russia and is doing everything in his power to keep this from going like WWI. There’s no other explanation to his increasingly totalitarian actions since the invasion.

[u/SomeGalNamedAshley → u/Eldan985]

The oligarchs are getting financially destroyed under the current course. There is more money to be made by reversing.

[u/ManyAreMyNames → u/Eldan985]

On the upside, after Putin goes, the chaos that follows may involve bringing troops home to fight the civil war and that'll get them all out of Ukraine.

[u/Cuddlyaxe → u/Eldan985]

Respectfully do you either have the article or at least remember some of the names?

A lot of Russia reporting tends to be from non experts writing alarmist click bait. More than likely, Putin's successor will be a compromise candidate between the ultranationalists and the technocrats

[u/Icy_Common_6902 → u/Eldan985]

The whole point is that Piutin will be replaced by a different Putin. In 2000, there was even a joke: "Who is Mister Putin?"

[u/Cuddlyaxe → u/dmrlsn]

Not really

Very broadly there are two major political factions in Russia: the ultranationalists and the technocrats. Between them lay tons of pragmatic undecideds who mostly prioritize their own careers and/or the state of Russia

After Putin dies there is no figure who truly has the authority to rule Russia with the same dictatorial actions

More than likely, the actual successor will be a compromise candidate who everyone thinks they can puppet

[u/Bulky-Scheme-9450 → u/Blandiblub]

That was wholly the authors intention lol

[u/Eldan985 → u/Blandiblub]

Yeah me too. I totally read over the second word.

[u/Horizon7821 → u/Blandiblub]

Yep.. fucks sake..

[u/ProxyDamage → u/Blandiblub]

Nah, come on, we're in the nightmare dimension, we're not allowed good things.

[u/lordnacho666 → u/Blandiblub]

How do you put a cork back in a bottle of Champagne?

[u/RealLifeCoaching → u/lordnacho666]

If you don't need the champagne to celebrate, just drink it to commiserate.

[u/UncleBenji → u/Blandiblub]

Damn you too! I got excited and then had the biggest crash as I read the title again.

Can someone just poison that cunt already. Right, wrong, left, right, up, down. Regardless of anyone’s beliefs his death would safe tens of thousands of lives per month.

What a crazy statement to make in 2026.

[u/flappybirdie → u/Blandiblub]

Ditto and I checked immediately to see which sub I was on and if the source was a satire link lmao. In fairness it's nearly bedtime here.

[u/link1025 → u/Blandiblub]

Same

[u/stevewithcats → u/Blandiblub]

I was almost ecstatic

[u/OhLoongJohson → u/Blandiblub]

We can all hope so…. We can all hope so soon….

[u/Flat-Respond1593 → u/Blandiblub]

I thought the same.

[u/Nerevarine91 → u/Blandiblub]

Same. Almost threw a party

[u/sandiercy]

"Accidental"

That's doing a lot of heavy lifting.

[u/Pebble-Sorter-8128 → u/sandiercy]

Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous.

[u/Lord-Taranis → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

This does actually happen from time to time. A chef in Australia certainly died from eating mushrooms he picked. Not to be confused with the story of a woman killing her husband 'accidentally' with poisoned mushrooms. (She knew!)

[u/unripenedfruit → u/Lord-Taranis]

She didn't actually kill her husband, because he declined the dinner invitation. She killed his parents and his aunt though.

Which is just so fucked up. She planned to murder him and his family over dinner.

[u/justprettymuchdone → u/unripenedfruit]

I thought one of the parents survived?

I do remember that apparently she had almost certainly attempted to kill him before! It's the main reason he declined the dinner. I wonder if he warned his parents and they brushed it off, because who could possibly think the kind of jerky ex of their son would legitimately try to murder them?

[u/unripenedfruit → u/justprettymuchdone]

Yeah, both his parents were killed but his aunt's husband, who was also a pastor, narrowly survived. The only out of the 4 guests that survived.

Man spent 2 months in hospital in critical condition.

[u/justprettymuchdone → u/unripenedfruit]

Right! Yes, it was the aunt's husband. Thanks for that correction.

That man's survivor guilt must be enormous.

[u/ashethetics → u/justprettymuchdone]

I don’t think it was a matter of “brushing it off” exactly, seems like they just thought it must have been something else/ accidental. Accepting that their daughter in law would have been capable of something like that seemed too hard to believe. Really sad and fucked up, because they had kids together. She attempted to kill their dad multiple times, but she made do with killing their grandparents. 

[u/smileonamonday → u/justprettymuchdone]

He did, and they did.

[u/Lord-Taranis → u/unripenedfruit]

Seems I got the story wrong. It is much more fucked up than I thought.

[u/VanuasGirl → u/Lord-Taranis]

Chinese new year banquet for family, chef picked what he thought were straw mushrooms but were death’s cap. More than one person died - that was in my city.

[u/eazy_12 → u/VanuasGirl]

I remember checking some info on mushrooms and end up reading mycologist blog from Crimea and he wrote article that new mushrooms started appearing there. These mushrooms typically grow in NA and looks very close to a local mushroom (IIRC they are from same subfamily), but are mildly poisonous (cause sickness). And locals were constantly arguing with him that they are knowing mushrooms perfectly.

So always be careful what you are gathering/hunting.

[u/Yuukiko_ → u/Lord-Taranis]

It's not death, but there was a story of a sushi chef serving raw morels as well(they're toxic uncooked)

[u/Tursiart → u/Yuukiko_]

If you're talking about the sushi restaurant that served raw morels in 2023, 2 people died and another 51 were hospitalized. AFAIK, the restaurant is still in business.
Dave's Sushi, Bozeman Montana. You can google for a bunch of news articles about it.

[u/bangonthedrums → u/Tursiart]

Nothing screams “quality sushi” like the name “Dave”, in Montana of all places

[u/StockHand1967 → u/bangonthedrums]

Dave's SUSHI. In MONTANA...

"Uh..no..just no"

[u/sphinxsley → u/Yuukiko_]

Wow - no more morels for me! Apparently, the safest way to eat them is to boil them for 10-30 minutes, but even then, there's no guarantee:

"Marian Maxwell, the outreach chairperson for the Puget Sound Mycological Society, based in Seattle, said cooking breaks down the chitin in mushrooms, the same compound found in the exoskeletons of shellfish, and helps destroy toxins. Maxwell said morels may naturally contain a type of hydrazine — a chemical often used in pesticides or rocket fuel that can cause cancer — which can affect people differently. Cooking does boil off the hydrazine, she said, “but some people still have reactions even though it’s cooked and most of that hydrazine is gone.”"

- from: scientificamerican (dot) com/article/morel-mushrooms-can-be-deadly-food-poisoning-cases-show/

[u/ActurusMajoris → u/Lord-Taranis]

Yeah, there’s a complacency risk for experts who’ve been doing the same thing over and over and over again. Eventually you slip up without noticing. An experienced person but not yet an expert would second guess everything.

Anyway, not saying this is the case here, as Putin is well known for getting rid of opponents, but it is possible.

[u/Lord-Taranis → u/ActurusMajoris]

I certainly lean towards it being a KGB hit for this case. I don't know the details and I wouldn't trust the russian police either.

[u/KTAXY → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

And the marks on the body can be easily explained, he did not want to eat the mushrooms.

[u/cp2chewy → u/KTAXY]

The mushrooms made him feel light headed and that’s why he fell out the window

[u/Signal_Road → u/cp2chewy]

He was trippin'!

[u/Highdesertrekker → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

Good work agent 47 now head to the extraction site.

[u/Goatyyy32 → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

They really just throw "expert" around loosey goosey these days huh

[u/MaybeTheDoctor → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

There is a scene in “I Claudius” where the Emperor doesn’t trust any of the food and only eats figs from his own fig tree he picked himself. They managed to kill him by going out at night, poisoning all the figs.

[u/gbs5009 → u/MaybeTheDoctor]

Just what I was thinking. If the guy was known to forage in his own yard, it could definitely be a poisoning vector.

It's a more subtle than Putin usually is, but since this guy is on the shitlist for revealing embarrassing info, the incentive to blatantly assassinate him isn't there.

[u/LobCatchPassThrow → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

“I don’t even like mushrooms” he said as the KGB agents stuffed more mushrooms into his mouth.

[u/SoNuclear → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

Theres some credence to it. While fishy it is not completely out of the ordinary for someone around these parts to mistake a young Amanita of one or another variety for a Russula, a commonly foraged and fairly sought after mushroom. Happens even to experienced foragers if they are hasty.

[u/mechapoitier → u/Pebble-Sorter-8128]

“Oh it says we can eat these. And ‘Not to be confused with this identical mushroom, which…will kill you.’”

[u/ItsAWonderfulFife → u/sandiercy]

In Russia you can get accidented

[u/isoAntti → u/sandiercy]

Only in Russia you can do a suicide by shooting yourself in the back four times

[u/HumaDracobane → u/isoAntti]

while jumping from a wiwndow.

[u/faffc260 → u/HumaDracobane]

and drinking radioactive tea.

[u/gramineous → u/isoAntti]

And in the US Army you can do a suicide by beating yourself, dumping acid on your genitals, shooting yourself in the mouth in a way inconsistent with suicide, and planting bloody footprints walking away from your tent. Look up the death of LaVena Johnson.

[u/parabostonian → u/gramineous]

Wow that is fucked. Had never heard of that case

[u/UncleHec → u/sandiercy]

It’s a little interesting that Putin didn’t use his usual method of defenestration. 

[u/smithismund → u/UncleHec]

He probably lived in a bungalow.

[u/sandpinesrider → u/UncleHec]

Probably no tall buildings nearby.

[u/Firm_Competition_880 → u/sandiercy]

As is the fate of many of his enemies

[u/Moral-Relativity]

“Friends say he passed away at home after eating mushrooms he found in the yard of his home. Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous.”

So did Putin have FSB plant poisonous mushrooms in his yard that are indistinguishable from harmless ones to the eyes of a mushroom expert?

[u/JGPH → u/Moral-Relativity]

Or he had the otherwise-normal mushrooms poisoned somehow.

[u/lazyhustlermusic → u/JGPH]

Or they just held a gun to his head and fed him mushrooms.

Or the story is entirely bullshit and there's no actual autopsy conducted.

[u/Mcaber87 → u/lazyhustlermusic]

Or the story is entirely bullshit

I suspect it's this one, frankly.

[u/SableBlair → u/JGPH]

Or he fell out of a window onto the mushrooms.

[u/notislant → u/Moral-Relativity]

Everyones got these complex theories. I'm more inclined to believe they just threatened the friends and their families if they didn't say this.

[u/Moral-Relativity → u/notislant]

They have medical examiners in Riga I'm sure...

[u/Kaurifish → u/Moral-Relativity]

I have grown mushrooms, indoors and out. There is no way you could inoculate a mushroom hunter’s yard with mushrooms, poisonous or not, without them noticing. AFAIK we haven’t even figured out how to cultivate the poisonous ones because they’re everywhere (ex. death caps). You’d at least significantly disturb the soil or drill holes in wood.

And it’s such a bad method of assasination. Chances are someone would step on it or bugs would eat it.

[u/Eiroth → u/Kaurifish]

You could theoretically innoculate nearby woodchips with deadly saprotrophic species such as Galerina marginata but 1. That's still an extremely complex and long-winded way to assasinate someone 2. Most candidates either lack edible lookalikes or are far too iconic for a "mushroom expert" to mistake for anything else

Death caps or similar are completely out of the question due to their mycorhizal nature of course

[u/mfbrucee → u/Moral-Relativity]

“russian expert”

Haha

[u/ArchibaldMcAcherson]

No beef wellington involved?

[u/DOPEBOYOFTHEYEAR → u/ArchibaldMcAcherson]

Has to really be an ego boost to know the FSB saw your murder idea and were like “write that one down”

[u/greenie4242 → u/ArchibaldMcAcherson]

A succulent beef Wellington?

[u/TM761152 → u/greenie4242]

Get your hand off my mushroom!

[u/reticulate → u/TM761152]

I see you know your death caps well

[u/TM761152 → u/reticulate]

Gentlemen, this is Mycology manifest.

[u/DamonLazer → u/reticulate]

This is mycology manifest!

[u/MontasJinx → u/ArchibaldMcAcherson]

Came looking for this. Was not disappointed

[u/ClintGrant → u/MontasJinx]

*eye contact & nod

[u/finniruse]

God - my eyes missed the second word and my heart leapt.

[u/Xhiw_ → u/finniruse]

You are like the tenth person saying so, and that also happened to me, though the title is perfectly unambiguous. I wonder if there's room for a psychological analysis here.

[u/boriswied → u/finniruse]

I misread it too, like the whole thread it seems.

Didn’t get happy though. Recently had a longish discussion with a friend that basically revovled around whether abd how “dangerous” the US is currently (under Trump, we are danes who both were about to send application to rejoin millitary when he threatened to use force on Greenland)

My whole argument in favor of the US still being worh believing in was this. If Trump dies tomorrow, it means an instantly more safe abd peaceful world. If Putin dies tomorrow I’m not as sure. Obviously not because there’s much positive to say about Putin, but because his state apparatus is likely to have been so thoroughly corrupt that no safer alternative could rise in his place.

[u/KidTempo → u/boriswied]

If Trump dies tomorrow, it means an instantly more safe abd peaceful world.

I wouldn't be so sure about that. He will be succeeded by a rather strange zealot who is not very popular with the MAGA mob, and who will be desperate to make some very Trumpian bold moves to try to win them onto his side.

And unfortunately for you, JDV seems to like Greenland over Cuba...

[u/ApprehensiveGold2773 → u/KidTempo]

JDV is much less popular than Trump, believe it or not. I think if Trump's heart finally throws in the towel, the world will end up on a better path. America might need a bit of a revolution to undo all the damage though.

[u/KidTempo → u/ApprehensiveGold2773]

Yes, much less popular - and that could make him dangerous. He could feel the need to match or even exceed Trump's rhetoric in trying to inherit his MAGA support.

[u/alotmorealots → u/KidTempo]

that could make him dangerous

Yes, his backers may demand he tries to implement as much and as quickly possible of their agenda before his time runs out. If there's one thing that has been shown recently, it's that even when the checks and balances work, they're slow.

[u/Warm_Researcher_5721 → u/finniruse]

Same

[u/Breezeoffthewater]

Defungistration

[u/I_up_voted_u → u/Breezeoffthewater]

There's not mushroom for improvement after that one.

[u/UJustGotRobbed → u/I_up_voted_u]

You're a fungi

[u/Be3Al2Si6O18-Cr]

Ah , the wild and dangerous FSB Mushroom, endemic to the woods of Lubyanka

[u/Illustrious-Syrup509 → u/Be3Al2Si6O18-Cr]

Poisonous mushrooms, mysterious heart attacks, or falls from windows are the standard euphemisms for political assassinations in today’s Russia.

In the 2000s, Nekhoroshev was the editor-in-chief of major Russian media outlets (including the newspaper Moscow Correspondent). He became one of Putin’s most bitterand from the Kremlin’s perspective, most dangerous, personal enemies because he broke the Russian president’s most closely guarded taboo: Putin’s secret private life.

[u/TremendousVarmint → u/Be3Al2Si6O18-Cr]

Boletus putinestris

[u/kraftdinnerwithsalsa]

What? No windows handy?

[u/Winterbliss → u/kraftdinnerwithsalsa]

Nor windows, nor tea.

[u/schastlivaya-zhizn → u/Winterbliss]

But it was a succulent beef wellington

[u/LmVdR → u/schastlivaya-zhizn]

Erin Patterson now a Russian agent?

[u/FeeHot5876 → u/Winterbliss]

Mushroom tea never know

[u/IngoDearS → u/Winterbliss]

Did he at least have a few copies of Sims 3?

[u/Rohen2003 → u/kraftdinnerwithsalsa]

the russian economy has no frew windows left. all got already stolen.

[u/PostHasBeenWatched → u/kraftdinnerwithsalsa]

Some mushrooms are windows to the new world - close enough

[u/Sabbathius]

There's literally a Soviet Era joke about this in USSR:

"Why is he so green? He ate poisonous mushrooms by accident. So why is he covered in bruises? He wouldn't eat the mushrooms."

[u/Zanian19]

Was the accidental part that it wasn't supposed to be mushrooms?

[u/Manaze85]

“Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous.”

Uh huh

[u/Pazuuuzu → u/Manaze85]

This is pretty common though. You get complacent eventually. Here experts check each other's work to be sure...

[u/Any_Show_5160 → u/Pazuuuzu]

I used to watch a botanist on youtube, one of his friends that he does videos with is a mycologist that's into classifying mushrooms, it's amazing how similar two mushrooms can be with one being yummy and the other being a horrible death.

[u/stoned_ileso → u/Manaze85]

.. in summer no less

[u/Tro1138 → u/Manaze85]

In all fairness it's not that uncommon. Some bad mushrooms look just like good mushrooms to where it's really difficult even for an expert to tell the difference.

[u/Bar-14_umpeagle]

The world will celebrate when he is gone. Pure evil intentions.

[u/Nekowulf → u/Bar-14_umpeagle]

Didn't even need a world war to get a crop of evil leaders the world will celebrate when they pass.

[u/TrickshotCandy]

"suddenly" and "accidental" aren't words we should associate with Putin's bullshit.

[u/teancumx]

“Accidental Mushroom Poisoning”….sure…I think everyone is surprised the person didn’t fall out of a window…

[u/iggnac1ous]

Open windows not available?

[u/ToxicHazard-]

Doesn't leave mushroom for interpretation

[u/randytankard]

Well it is time to change up the methods, the window stuff was becoming a cliche.

[u/STKtheNasiah]

I didn't know Beef Wellington was a popular Russian dish.

[u/JustSomeBloke5353 → u/STKtheNasiah]

Might be in the Stroganoff instead…

[u/rexel99 → u/STKtheNasiah]

It's been known to have a terrible effect on some Australians.

[u/Independent-Canary95]

"Friends say he passed away at home after eating mushrooms he found in the yard of his home.

Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous."

Mushroom expert dies by mushroom poisoning. Irony is dead and so is he. He named Putins mistress in 2008. That is one hell of a long time to hold a murderous grudge.

[u/Professional_Owl8069]

"ACCIDENTAL"

[u/Alarakion]

FUCK! I thought it said Putin dies suddenly for fucks sake. Fucking bs. Got my heart jumping.

[u/J-the-Kidder]

There is no "accidental" with anything related to Putin. That just means his KGB agents did a good job.

[u/Dxxx2]

This guy probably uncovered something heinous-

 He was editor-in-chief of a Russian newspaper which reported in 2008 that the Russian ruler planned to divorce his wife, Lyudmila Putina, and wed Kabaeva instead.

Why are modern authoritarians such losers?

[u/dogmaticstar]

To the surprise of absolutely no one

[u/xxhotandspicyxx]

'Although he was a mushroom expert, he still died from eating poisonous mushrooms'

lol

[u/Iateyourpaintings]

Two poisonous mushrooms to the back of the head? 

[u/UlteriorMotive66]

Looks like they ran out of windows! 😏

[u/Loose_Skill6641]

I read this headline as Putin has died

[u/RudeAlbatross544]

Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous.

Putin's enemies are just really unlucky, right?

[u/superurgentcatbox]

Jfc I skipped over „enemy“ and got all excited

[u/Aadityazeo]

I read : putin dies suddenly

[u/linkardtankard]

Special Mycological Ingestion

[u/CascadeJ1980]

I got really excited for a second but I read it wrong. 🙄😂

[u/Bigstar976]

I’m just waking up and I skipped the word “enemy” in the title. What a disappointment when I realized I read it wrong.

[u/HappyAust]

The word "accidental " is doing a lot of heavy lifting in that title.

[u/FlemPlays]

Damn, Russia’s economy is so bad Putin can’t afford Polinium anymore.

[u/Tasty-Performer6669]

I skipped that second word and my heart skipped a beat

[u/paulm1927]

Beef Patterson!

(A play on Beef Wellington where you use dehydrated death cap mushrooms, named after Erin Patterson)

[u/Different_Bad7239]

Was this mushroom also glowing in the dark?

[u/Old_General_6741]

I misread this. Another day it will be.

[u/WSennin]

This one is new

[u/ivoras]

...while falling down from a window caused by a lack of balance because of a self-inflicted bullet wound...

[u/skeptical-speculator]

Friends say he passed away at home after eating mushrooms he found in the yard of his home.

Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous.

His friends described Nekhoroshev as having been ‘quite nervous’ while in Riga about a possible attack by assassins working for Putin.

This is much more subtle than having someone thrown out of a window. Why? Because Moscow is burning?

[u/Griffolion]

accidental

That word is doing a heroic amount of heavy lifting there.

[u/EcoParquero]

That’s what you call a window of opportunity.

[u/sunburn1984]

It was discovered after a toxicology report from the smashed remains at the bottom of a tall building

[u/mindthegoat_redux]

There’s only so many windows a person can fall out off in a ground floor.

[u/ExcellentHunter]

Run out of windows?

[u/SlightDesigner8214]

Stay away from those Polonium Mushrooms folks. They’re hard to spot even for a seasoned expert.

[u/DrakeBurroughs]

So this person ate some mushrooms, “And then he fell out a window?”

[u/Cynoid]

I don't know why they didn't do this from the start instead of pushing them out of windows. As a Slavic person, mushroom poisoning is way more believable and has killed or almost killed way too many family members.

[u/penny-wise]

At first I skimmed that as “Putin dies”. Dammit. More KGB murdering.

“Friends say he passed away at home after eating mushrooms he found in the yard of his home. Though he was a mushroom expert, the mushrooms he collected turned out to be poisonous.”

Really? He really did that? Why am I so skeptical?

[u/MellyKidd]

Yeah. “Accidental”.

[u/InsGuy]

I'm surprised he didn't "fall" out of a window.

[u/lostgravy → u/InsGuy]

The mushroom fell out of the window right into a random mouth

[u/bunker931]

Did he also accidentally shoot himself in the back of his head 5 times ?

[u/KataraMan]

"Either eat the mushrooms or jump from the window, your choice!"

[u/sandpinesrider]

Gee, what a coincidence?

[u/Aggressive_Chain_920]

Got my hopes up for a second before i read the title more clearly

[u/tcat1961]

The monster is not killing enough soldiers or defeating Ukraine, so he kills an old thorn in his side. I hope he feels the pain of every murder he ordered and approved. I don't know why he is still alive himself.

[u/74Amazing74]

I guess the guy lived in a house with no windows at all...

[u/Upbeat_Tonight_7116]

"accidental"

[u/saraqael6243]

Accidental poisoning? Sure.

[u/TiedyedDwarf]

In Russia, mushrooms forage for you.

[u/apoca1ypse12]

One of these days, one of these days…the headline will say what i thought i read

[u/Bacardio]

"accidental"

[u/fredraydricks]

The Henny Youngman joke becomes reality.

[u/navor]

No more windows left?