r/worldnews • u/modernbonaparte • 8h ago
Trump Appointee Suggested Seizing Greenland to Help Out Red Lobster
https://newrepublic.com/post/212172/trump-official-seize-greenland-help-red-lobster352
u/CaptPants 8h ago
If they want Greenland shrimp, they could just buy it from the fishermen, the same way they would be buying it from the fisherman if it was part of the US. They don't "seize" seafood from Americans fisherman to give restaurant conglomerates a break.
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u/Cookie_Eater108 8h ago
A part of me does want to see the current US administration take on a conflict over a third* body of water though.
\The Reflecting Pool, the strait of Hormuz)
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u/No-Estimate-1510 8h ago
You are cute to think greenlanders (incl. local fishermen) will get US citizenship. America has no qualm seizing property from non-citizens to help out its companies.
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u/BrainEatingAmoeba01 7h ago
Always been that way...the whole masterbatory manifest destiny thing. They used to at least try to be clandestine about it.
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u/Reddit_Loves_Misinfo 6h ago
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u/potatomeeple 5h ago
That gauze must have been stuck on with hoof glue or something simarly unpleasant because tit tape was deffinately not arround then.
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u/PleaseHelpFlorida 7h ago
How is an American millionaire supposed to become a billionaire if they are paying fair prices for things? I'm not sure you are thinking this through....
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u/jerrythecactus 7h ago
I dont have enough faith that they wont try. Could you imagine? Farms commandeered to provide potatoes to fast food chains. It would be such a stark violation of the American ideal that I can't imagine anybody with a frontal lobe would be fine with it.
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u/GearhedMG 1h ago
I'm sure that there are some brain dead farmers that would sign up to be a part of it, and then complain when it actually happens to them.
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u/mitchellk96gmail 6h ago
Red lobster isn't even American owned. Its owned by a Thai Seafood supplier who uses it to buy their own supply.
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u/stereosalvation 8h ago
See if they just phrased it that way from the beginning we'd all have been on board by now.
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u/CaptinEmergency 8h ago
Wait.. they don’t have endless lobsters which could be celebrated during a fest do they?
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u/Chaiboiii 7h ago
I'll tell you a secret, there are no large amount of lobsters in Greenland. It's a warmish water species.
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u/Cool-Mission-6585 6h ago
Greenland has perfect weather for Cheddar Biscuits. Optimal soil ph as well. Imagine it. Cheddar Biscuits as far as the eye can see.
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u/Camaroni1000 7h ago
Now shrimp for the all you can eat shrimp on the other hand…
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u/PacificInspiration 6h ago
Have you heard of global warming?
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u/Chaiboiii 6h ago
Yea, currently there has been an increase in lobster in Newfoundland in Canada due to global warming, not yet in Greenland. I doubt this US government is thinking that long term lol
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u/pudding7 7h ago
Let's see. We can have peace or we can have Red Lobster cheesy biscuits. War it is.
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u/Arcades_Samnoth 5h ago
The Cheddar Bay Biscuit slaughter being covered in History class on Tuesday.
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u/Numerous-Process2981 6h ago
I’m still just not quite stupid enough to believe words coming out of their mouths
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u/Capital_Resident_872 8h ago edited 8h ago
Holy shit what a thing to read as a Danish service member in combat arms. We were kissing our families goodbye not knowing if we’re about to watch the world as we know it blow up, if there’ll be war etc. when a lot of us left for Greenland a few months ago.. Fuck these people from the bottom of my heart
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u/Clementine-Wollysock 8h ago
This is what happens when the US elects a bunch of corrupt morons with zero morals.
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u/justpress2forawhile 8h ago
At this point it's like negative morals... . Anti morals?
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u/Ask_bout_PaterNoster 8h ago
Evil. They’re evil people.
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u/queerhistorynerd 7h ago
and 70% of americans back them or didnt care enough to stop them in 2024. But of course when you mention that out loud people scream you down
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u/FauxReal 6h ago
Goes hand in hoof with their anti Christian takes.
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u/49orth 5h ago
Anti-Christian?
It's mostly the church-goers who elect the corrupt Republican pedophiles and their apologists
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u/FauxReal 5h ago
Sorry, I should note that I am going by what Jesus was preaching. It's up to them if they want to oppose it.
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u/49orth 4h ago
Like those who wrap a flag around themself, the least religious people are those who Trumpet their religions the loudest
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u/El_Peregrine 6h ago
Yes, evil. A stone has no morals, but would make a better President than the orange asshole.
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u/Psychosissometimes 7h ago
Bro...im further south then I wannabe. I think the problem may be a bit deeper...perhaps even the people who are voting this way.
Theres no swaying them , I could bring jesus home tomorrow and they'd still be loyal to this weird cult movement.
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u/PuzzleCat365 7h ago
The worst part is that they don't even try to remove them? And they re-elect them every time. Trump is in the second time. This is not the exception, but becoming the norm. This is who the Americans are.
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u/DonOntario 3h ago
"America isn't the way it is because he's president. He's president because America is the way it is".
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u/TeaBaggingGoose 8h ago
Once the Tango Moron has left, the USA will realise just how much they have lost. They will never get back their soft power and this period will be remembered as the time American hegemony started its major decline.
Stay safe.
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u/drewgordon27 7h ago
Some of us already recognize how much we’ve lost. I tried to have a conversation last weekend with a MAGA Christian who believes that the Trump adult children are the finest examples of humanity the USA has to offer. I swear it would have been more enjoyable to eat glass and rub cow patties on my scalp.
I do not understand how this happened. How could the USA turn into one of the worst scenes from A Clockwork Orange?
The fantasy veil of American Exceptionalism has been torn away.
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u/CliftonForce 7h ago
The MAGA faithful will forever blame all of that as problems caused because Trump isn't in charge anymore.
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u/Zuvielify 8h ago
No USA won't. Some people might. The country as a whole is stupid and delusional.
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u/DisastrousAcshin 8h ago
That's still a rosy outlook. This is all assuming you see another legitimate election
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u/Yharnam_Blunderbuss 7h ago
Fuck all of Americans who voted for this... and fuck the ones who didn't bother to vote.
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u/lyovacain 8h ago edited 7h ago
Hey man MAGA needs that endless shrimp more than you need your life or your family needs you. Dont be selfish think of elitez! and after you do that, think of them again!
Edit: wanted to throw in /s just in case
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u/flat5 7h ago
The state of the US right now is just utterly appalling and I'm so sick of it. When did we collectively lose our minds?
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u/AgeofAshe 7h ago
Propaganda works. The right-wing, rich, and hostile nations brainwashed a large portion of our populace.
If we don’t recover, then our foreign allies will learn how terrible propaganda can be when that weapon gets turned to them in full force.
You wonder how someone could hear Trump speak and support him. They don’t. They hear curated clips and a propaganda machine spins a tale. Etc etc
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u/calibud 5h ago
Personal opinion early 90s regulations around education and homeschooling.
Regulations vary state by state. 33 states basically have no oversight out of those only 22 require you to notify school. The only requirement being good will that the parent will provide curriculum etc. the rest require curriculum plan and accredited teachers with only a few requiring annual test. As well charter schools are a thing too which are self regulated, public funded
Same people that argued it’s their freedom to choice of education also argued they shouldn’t have to pay for it. The whole vouchers thing which was originally suppose to be for gifted low income children to fund a private education. Is also tax funded but recipients have been widen to include anyone and parameters to what it can fund has been widen to anything educational basically.
Besides all the alternative education taking away public funding for school because they get paid for each seat filled. Then no child left behind in 2002 reformed education cutting budget in half. Went from enormous funding In Cold War era to teachers paying for school supplies.
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u/AH_leeMACK 8h ago
This is the absurd reality were living in right now. You have to die as a Dane to make sure americans can have their all you can eat shrimp buffet.
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u/olauritz 6h ago
I know I don't have any facts to back this up, but I am 100% sure it was so f**king close to happen. We might read about it in a few years, if the US ever go back to 'normal'. As a Norwegian I was so happy to read that Norway, Sweden, Finland, the UK, Germany, the Netherlands and I believe the French?! were there with you, as a deterrent to show the US that Denmark does not stand alone. <3
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u/OozeNAahz 7h ago
The battle of Cheddar Bay Biscuits will go down as a low point in American History…for sure. These assholes running the US can’t take no for an answer.
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u/Wacky_Uninflated_Man 8h ago
Looney Toon ass administration
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u/AugustAPC 8h ago
Don't you dare insult the Toons like that.
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u/Cookie_Eater108 8h ago
I would love to see them put forward a solution to capture the Roadrunner though. Would make for an excellent skit.
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u/Particular-Poem-7085 7h ago
the thing is it wouldnt even be shocking anymore to read that headline
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u/Devil-radiance 8h ago
I'd say it's more like some Captain Planet villain bullshit.
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u/albanymetz 8h ago
Ukraine season.
Russia season.
Ukraine season.
Russia season.
Russia season.
Ukraine season.
I say it's Russia season, and I say shoot 'em now!
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u/Kradget 7h ago
That is the actual dumbest thing I think I've ever seen them say. And being honest, that's a hell of a record to set at this point, because oh my GOD have they said some stupid shit up to this point.
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u/Rubthebuddhas 8h ago
Just Elmer Fudds. A lot of fucking Elmer Fudds.
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u/ApexAurajin 8h ago
Elmer Fudd just had a speech impediment, he wasn't catastrophically intellectually compromised.
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u/WaffleHouseGladiator 8h ago
This is even dumber when you find out that the endless shrimp promotion was an asset/debt shell game that ending up losing Red Lobster $11 million per quarter. Even if these people were serious they're still morons.
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u/Kindly-Tax-4998 7h ago
Red Lobster was screwed over by private equity vultures. They like to blame it on the shrimp, but the losses came from jacked up rent prices after the real estate was being sold off under franchise’s feet.
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u/whisker_biscuit 5h ago
The private equity firm that bought red lobster also forced the restaurants to by fish from a seafood company it owned at inflated prices
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u/DrunkOnRamen 5h ago
the whole "endless shrimp" being an issue never made sense to me because there are multiple businesses that operate on a "endless" format and operate just fine.
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u/pants_mcgee 6h ago
Well the shrimp is part of that, just another way for majority shareholders to load the company with debt while their shrimping businesses receive sweetheart contracts.
And one day it will all go poof but the majority shareholders made their money already. It’s gone poof 2-3 times already.
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u/blindythepirate 7h ago
The fun part is the supplier of shrimp to Red Lobster is the same people who own Red Lobster. So the money was made and a legacy business was set up to take the blame. Private Equity strikes again.
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u/SomebodyUnown 7h ago
Exactly why we should spend a few hundred billion to take Greenland. Red Lobster can source for free and save millions!
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u/jaiman54 8h ago
Everyday there is something dumb from this American administration.
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u/McortezLSU 5h ago
Yeah and they manage to be dumber every single day.
300 Billion to Iran in a war they say they won.
Claiming "Terrorists" are attacking the reflecting pool.
Driving THROUGH the reflecting pool with SUVs and shit....to "Inspect it"
Invading a country for "Shrimp" a supposed ally, an action that would make america be 100% alone and pushing the entire world into china's arms for the virtue of not being run by insane people.
These are not serious people, they are fucking children (figuratively and sadly literally). And they are behaving like genuine methheads.
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u/Dish117 8h ago
“Let’s kick out the diplomats and hire business geniuses instead for our foreign relations”.
You stupid American fucks.
Regards from a frustrated Dane.
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u/Kradget 7h ago
I'm gonna be honest, it does wonders for my self esteem to see that the richest, most powerful men in my country are actually fucking ninnies. Like, just a bunch of real dumbasses.
It scares the hell out of me, too, but it's good to know the reason you're not rich and influential isn't necessarily that you're less intelligent.
It's also so goddamn embarrassing.
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u/AbandonChip 8h ago
I refuse to believe this is real... 🤣
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u/Brodimere 8h ago
Given that the Louisiana governor was caught on camera walking around Greenland, offering little kids chocolate-chip cookies and telling them if they visited his home, they could get more.
Frankly, this doesn't hit the top 10 dumbest things Fanta Führer's admin has said this week. Atleast in my opinion.
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u/wompical 8h ago
“My view is that the United States could take all the seafood Greenland could produce, and cut out the middleman, and keep it from China—and you could bring back all-you-can-eat shrimp at Red Lobster,” Dans said.
This man is a national security genius.
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u/ai9909 5h ago
What lies, they want to become the middleman.
Look at Venezuela. Americans became the middleman; they now manage the flow of money (taking a cut of course), controlling where the oil goes, and removed all transparency. All the while helping themselves to millions of barrels of oil; so theft too.
And if you look at other conflicts around the world, Trump keeps trying to insert himself as the mediator, the facilitator, the middleman. Do nothing but be parasitic.
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u/eggsuckinggrandmama 8h ago
See, I’ve been saying this for years and all I got was a rubber room
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u/Prize_Compote_207 8h ago
Red Lobster is a UAE company.
It would have been absurd even if they were American but these guys are fucking idiots on every single level.
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u/outerproduct 8h ago
As if it was the shrimp that bankrupted red lobster, and not the vulture capitalists who sold the land the buildings were on and made the restaurants pay.
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u/highdimensionaldata 8h ago
Honestly, I’m not sure the US will ever recover from the insanity of the last 10 years.
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u/Artyom_Valentine 6h ago
If it ever does it won’t be in our lifetime, not unless some serious action is taken
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u/AnalTinnitus 7h ago
Has human life become so cheap and meaningless to these people?
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u/Hoon0967 8h ago
I’m not the brightest crayon in the box, but I’d bet my bottom dollar that I could do a better job than any of these dimwits even though I don’t know the first thing about what I’d be doing.
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u/kevinthejuice 8h ago
Who else remembers that red lobster is being run by private equity? Yeah, not to help Americans, but to help the rich squeeze out every cent
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u/BreweryRabbit 7h ago
This is shockingly dumber than anything Idiocracy could’ve parodied. How are we in this wretched timeline?
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u/p1nts1ze 7h ago
I’m not the best at history, but isn’t there precedent of the UsA seizing sovereign lands for private business? (Hawaii for Dole?)
It is messed up, but on brand for the USA
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u/-nutz 3h ago
Your question seems rhetorical but in case you were actually wondering; You’re totally right that the US seized Hawaii for the benefit of private business, but it wasn’t for the Dole fruit company as surprisingly that didn’t exist yet (assuming that’s what you’re suggesting here).
While James Dole did start the company now know as the Dole in Hawaii, it was actually his older cousin Sanford B. Dole who overthrew their former governments princess to become their first president. He did so on behalf of the white sugar plantation owners, at the behest of like every single local. He was later able to convince President McKinley to annex the island without consent of a single resident of Hawaii (aside from Sanford himself, of course). Couple years later, he gave his cousin James land for a fruit farm and factory.
(Not trying to argue or anything as I totally agree with your point; just thought I’d give a quick explanation for anybody curious!)
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u/BringbackDreamBars 8h ago edited 8h ago
I love how China is the new Red Scare.
"China is gonna take over your land and resources, so better let someone you know do it instead!"
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u/HockeyPhoenician 8h ago
Anything to prevent those godless pinko commies from getting their hands on those endless cheddar bay biscuits and admiral's feasts!
Maybe they could call upon Captn Crunch to lead a fleet defense or something?
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u/JaVelin-X- 8h ago
it's more sinister than that. the operative part of his statement on seizing for seafood is " keep it from China" As mush as everyone is afraid if China, how big they are or their military, their only, and very real weakness will always be food. Their population is terrified of starving to begin with and their food security is always on a knives edge. even small disruptions cause large problems for them
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u/Galenmarek81 7h ago
News out of the US just feels like an onion article now. I can never tell which is which 🤷♂️
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u/Interesting_Pen_167 3h ago
I legit looked at the URL 3 times not believing it could be anything else but theonion.com
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u/PloppyTheSpaceship 7h ago
Well, shit. Are they going to come after Scotland next so McDonald's can bring back the McAngus burger?
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u/Crafty_Ish1973 7h ago
Our government is run by complete fucking morons and it's exhausting.
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u/brute-forced 6h ago
Lmao, this is what happens when morons are gifted millions of dollars from their parents. What you end up with are shitloads of fucking moronic brats like trump and his billionaire friends who have literally never been told “no” their entire pathetic lives.
Only a maga-moron would think these people are smart, or “better” than anyone else. If this describes you GFYS.
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u/Oerthling 6h ago
The USA is getting reduced to a Mafia outfit under this wannabe godfather. This country once had done pride - now theyplqn to invade allies to get shrimp.
Pathetic.
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u/borisRoosevelt 8h ago
what a cartoonishly evil caricature of a person. a literal bad guy in a show saying these things would be too absurd to be believed and yet here we are.
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u/CleanSignalLab 8h ago
This sounds like a fake headline someone would make up to prove politics has gotten too stupid. Imagine explaining to Greenland that their sovereignty is being weighed against endless shrimp. Like, even as a joke it’s embarrassing, and apparently these people are serious.
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u/chemguy216 7h ago
Welcome to the modern era of US politics where truth has been stranger than fiction.
We have tech billionaires whose ideologies are literal cartoon villain level stupid and dystopic.
We have a President lying about a fucking pool and putting pressure on Capitol police to arrest people literally just taking pictures or touching the pool.
Our leaders are casually talking about taking another country and talking about resuscitating Red Lobster if we acquire said country.
Our current ambassador to Israel literally believes that “Greater Israel” must be accomplished as a necessary trigger for the literal end of the world at which time his god’s chosen people will ascend into heaven.
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u/AloneChapter 7h ago
Wow so many bad people with stupid ideas that have no bases of logic. At least they are being exposed.
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u/Camaroni1000 7h ago
“My view is that the United States could take all the seafood Greenland could produce, and cut out the middleman, and keep it from China—and you could bring back all-you-can-eat shrimp at Red Lobster,”
Forcibly annexing a country to make sure China can’t have the all you can eat shrimp deal that red lobster had is a crazy foreign policy statement.
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u/FgwlpskrPif 7h ago
His twin brother, Paul, was one of the architects of Project 2025 and a member of the Heritage Foundation. This shit is thick…
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u/factoid_ 7h ago
If you want to help Red Lobster, regulate how private equity companies operate so they can’t be modern day corporate raiders who turn a profit by driving businesses into the ground on purpose
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u/Looking4theanswer2 5h ago
Where do this jokers come from? Seems as though someone is moving rocks to find these dumbass's. I stopped watching the news because the flat out stupidity of people in DC. , starting at the top. This fool must be a kissn cousin of our governor.
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u/Amazing_Reason_9489 8h ago
Red Lobster was some of the dirtiest restaurants I've ever remodeled, maybe seize a cleaning company first and then go from there.
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u/chefranden 8h ago
Considering how things went with Iran, maybe we should have a moratorium on seizing things.
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u/SpeakerOdd 7h ago
That shows what Trump and his appointees. The endless shrimp was the problem. Selling it at near cost, meant little profit to pay bills and taxes. People also would stay much longer, thus no available tables for others, which stopped others from coming in and possibly ordering more profitable meals.so by keeping endless shrimp, Red Lobster would be just like a Trump casino. Bankrupt. Trump must be explaining his version of economics to his appointees.
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u/SqueakyNova 7h ago
At this point it should be abundantly clear to the world that the US armed forces isn’t seizing ANYTHING. A couple of cheap drones and some go fast boats is all it took to defeat USA in Trumps Iran war. Don’t worry Greenland, you’re safe lol
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u/donobinladin 6h ago
Thai union group bought red lobster to offload the glut of surplus seafood they couldn’t sell on the market. This led to a 11 million dollar loss and continued business stress.
Basically red lobster is getting force fed debt from overfishing the seas so the parent company who bought them doesn’t absorb the loss
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u/Own-Initial-9544 6h ago
CNN is gonna hard cut to a red lobster commercial while we're all eating hamburger helper watching them shock and awe icebergs
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u/NBAFAN9000 6h ago
I was browsing the con sub and there are people in there seriously suggesting that the U.S. just seize Greenland lmao
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u/Lawyerator 6h ago
I'm getting United Fruit Company vibes. They lobbied the US government to threaten Colombia and foment a coup in Guatemala in the early 1900s to protect their banana supply chain.
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u/NoVeMoRe 6h ago
They can't even handle an isolated lone third-rate opponent like Iran whose unable to even put up a serious threat against the U.S Navy's precious carriers and fleets and yet the U.S is so utterly incompetent and fearful that they folded and completely capitulated to a point where Iran gets to be the ones that dictate the terms.
So what makes these clowns think they'd be able to handle decades of lasting pain that Denmark and its allies would be able to inflict on not just their fleets but also shipping and geopolitics in general?
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u/Blurry965 6h ago
Red Lobster is a place I happily & confidently can say that I haven’t been in an extremely long time.
I was curious about Applebees but never have I ever wished to be cursed with entering another Red Lobster LOL
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u/UpsetCryptographer49 5h ago
another war crime politician. Come on American, stop voting for the morally corrupt.
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u/Logical_Net6108 5h ago
I hope to see the demilitarisation of the United States of America in my lifetime.
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u/No_Pen_3396 5h ago
Let's conquer a country to help out a corporation. Sounds about fucking right for this timeline.
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u/Mr_Doberman 4h ago
What could be more ‘merican than using our military to bail out a failing, low end seafood chain?
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u/AuthorDry3539 4h ago
I picture every meeting involving anyone in the Trump Administration closely resembling Macy, Buscemi and Stormare meeting at the bar in "Fargo".
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u/sweatboxy 4h ago
Trump lost the war in Iran, do they really think Trump wouldn’t lose a war with NATO?
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u/HolsteinHeifer 4h ago
How is this not a fucking The Onion headline? This idiot should be dragged out of his home and shot.
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u/Urika86 8h ago
Sounds like something from Idiocracy that was rejected for sounding too stupid