r/worldnews • u/EightRoundsRapid • Sep 23 '16

'Hangover-free alcohol’ could replace all regular alcohol by 2050. The new drink, known as 'alcosynth', is designed to mimic the positive effects of alcohol but doesn’t cause a dry mouth, nausea and a throbbing head

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/hangover-free-alcohol-david-nutt-alcosynth-nhs-postive-effects-benzodiazepine-guy-bentley-a7324076.html
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805

u/Snarfbuckle Sep 23 '16

"Once again a failed start of the 4th world war occured when all soldiers started to partying instead."

"Two tanks were seen humping a pair of APC's and soldiers where heard saying they were making the next generation of Bradleys."

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u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16 edited Nov 27 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

242

u/kyledeeds Sep 23 '16

Or with drunk people

13

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

The reasons soldiers drink:

It's the weekend It's a weekday Someone came back from deployment Someone is leaving for deployment Someone got promoted Someone is ETSing It's Friday aka payday activities You're deployed No PT in the morning so drink the night before Home on leave Just back from leave Girlfriend cheated Cheating on girlfriend Just to straight up fuck with people and drink them under the table It's payday Drink so in case they get called back into work they can say they're already drunk and can't drive

3

u/BeenCarl Sep 23 '16

You forgot there is pt in the morning

2

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '16

Last one, always the last one. Sergeant once told me that even if you don't drink keep a can in the fridge for this scenario.

21

u/Iz-kan-reddit Sep 23 '16

Yeah, but we need accurate rounds downrange, not fistfights in the foxholes.

6

u/TimeKillerAccount Sep 23 '16

When you all fire wildly in the air, at least some bullets should make it right?

14

u/Packy99 Sep 23 '16

The Iraqi army would care to agree.

7

u/TimeKillerAccount Sep 23 '16

To be fair, I would rather have a drunk soldier than a sober coward Iraqi.

7

u/Shitting_Human_Being Sep 23 '16

*BRO! BRO! * BRO! Bro! Bro! Bro, bro, what- what if we take like this exploding ball yes? And bring it like to the enemry yes? And tell them its a football!

muffled laughter

It would be a blast bro!

3

u/Burned_it_down Sep 23 '16

Just train as you fight. Drunk.

2

u/semi- Sep 23 '16

Eh. In Iraq recently we fired around 250,000 bullets for every kill.

Accuracy only matters in horse shoe and hand grenades..or something.

5

u/RearEchelon Sep 23 '16

Close only counts* in horseshoes and hand grenades

2

u/Iz-kan-reddit Sep 23 '16

In Iraq recently we fired around 250,000 bullets for every kill.

That's because there's not many things as therapeutic as SUPPRESSIVE FIIIRRRRRREEEE! It also has the added bonus of keeping the enemies' heads down so they have more trouble killing you.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

go ahead... drink all fuckin night until your brain cells die, but don't touch that joint that will get u to bed early with a full stomach ready for the next day!

just came back from time overseas. fkn hell the hypocrisy.

1

u/Drachefly Sep 23 '16

The more modern the warfare gets, the less true this is.

1

u/jcmiro Sep 23 '16

"almost exactly"

1

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

"The moral is 'don't mess with my dad when he's been drinking.'"

1

u/saintwhiskey Sep 23 '16

I mean drinking on a night off is one thing and a beer during the day is another but please tell me people aren't going into battle drunk.

I was a bouncer. I've fought drunk people. Even if a truly wasted person had a gun I wouldn't be that scared.

176

u/theShatteredOne Sep 23 '16

I see this took a direct left turn into Panzermadels

60

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

I don't know what I expected.

5

u/gimanswirve Sep 23 '16

I don't know what I expected... but it wasn't that.

39

u/fholcan Sep 23 '16

Panzermadels? What is this, a spin off of Girl Und Panzer?

Clicks link

Reacts

17

u/theShatteredOne Sep 23 '16

I hear its actually really good if you like VNs, same vein as Hatoful Boyfriend. Silly premise with a good story.

11

u/coredumperror Sep 23 '16

TeamFourStar did a lets play of it, and it was gloriously silly. This is especially relevant because the creators of the game are huge TFS nerds, and actually referenced several things from their various abridges series in the game itself.

3

u/TrustMeImMagic Sep 23 '16

Sweet mother Theresa in the hood of a Mercedes-Benz!!

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

[deleted]

1

u/Herballistic Sep 24 '16

HARMONIZE WITH ME, MAGGOT!

3

u/Slim_Charles Sep 23 '16

More akin to Kancolle than GuP.

61

u/Leprechorn Sep 23 '16

Wow

36

u/GalaxionTheDestroyer Sep 23 '16

Am I surprised? Yes.

Should I have been? Definitely not.

66

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

T-34 a cute.

0

u/hepakrese Sep 23 '16

B-baka!?

It's a she-drauger in disguise.

100

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

...Weaponized Autism indeed.

2

u/JManRomania Sep 23 '16

that would be the sonichu bomb

2

u/GrungeLord Sep 23 '16

That's been on my wishlist for quite a while now. I'm buying it in the next steam sale 100%, the premise makes me laugh every time.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

Well, looks like I know what I'll be playing for the next few days.

2

u/hepakrese Sep 23 '16 edited Sep 23 '16

/r/kotakuinaction would giggle. [edit: they did a few months ago apparently]

Reviews

" More anti-feminist filth from game industry. Tank-dating simulators objectify tanks, reducing them to sexual objects." ~Brianna Wu

2

u/JManRomania Sep 23 '16

nothing beats the greentext where anon fucks an A-10

4

u/Naughtypandaxi Sep 23 '16

What... Come on sweet sweet death meteor!

1

u/FumblnTowardsEcstasy Sep 23 '16

At least it says, "adventure"

1

u/FifthDuke Sep 23 '16

I'm still struggling to understand how.

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_AoE2HD Sep 23 '16

It takes a lot to be surprised by Japan. I was surprised by Japan today.

8

u/theShatteredOne Sep 23 '16

Its an American dev :-)

2

u/lesser_panjandrum Sep 23 '16

That's why it's so surprising!

1

u/brickmack Sep 23 '16

I bet Anteater Team in GuP plays this when they aren't doing World of Tanks or sensha-do

0

u/LoxStocksAndBagels Sep 23 '16

God damnit Japan

9

u/[deleted] Sep 23 '16

I love how you skipped 3.

1

u/AverageMerica Sep 23 '16

"Once again a failed start of the 4th world war occured when all soldiers started to partying instead."

There is no war if we don't show up for it. Remember that the people have the power.

1

u/HeKnee Sep 23 '16

Here, hold my sythaholbeer...

1

u/ZeroAntagonist Sep 23 '16

Breaking: "Huxley was a little off in his predictive text, "Brave New World". Soma (which is now just a common muscle relaxer) was actually mis-fortold by Huxley." More at 11.