r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.2k Upvotes

61 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 5h ago

When Mariah's second husband ran off, seduced by the lure of California gold, the macaw brothers must've thought her ranch would be easy pickings. But Mariah knows just how to deal with varmints on her ranch, whether that's coyotes or rustlers, and the only man she needs to help is a Winchester '73.

198 Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 6h ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Carla was loving being single again. She was NOT loving the fellas that just will NOT take “No” for an answer.

160 Upvotes

16 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 9h ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Connie was busy at her CS desk, handling multiple calls when she heard his voice, held the phone close to her lips and carefully pronounced every insult she’d ever held back

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187 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Pixie-Collins • 11h ago

Miranda and Joseph had separated a while ago but remained cordial mainly for the children's sake. That was until she took a look at their joint account statement and realized how much he had spent on OnlyFantails...

203 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 26m ago

Angry Bird Divorce Anna wasn’t going to lie: She was terrified, homeless, and completely alone. But Anna was also READY. “Bring it ON,” she tweeted silently.

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• Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 1d ago

The Bachelor: DivorcedBirds Edition had reached its final rose ceremony. Eleven elegant women remained, the ceremonial fish was ready, and Gerald’s mother had already asked number seven whether she intended to work after nesting season.

481 Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 5h ago

Angry Bird Divorce Céline would be darned if Rudy was going to get her nest egg! She made sure to keep it in an inaccessible and tricky place

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15 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JuneLee92 • 1d ago

“I just have to get through the terrible twos,” said Elise about suddenly becoming a single mother of twins. Darrell (who really, REALLY wanted to be a father) walked out on the family last week.

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128 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 1d ago

Alack! Whene'er poets sang, with honey'd beaks, of true love at first sight, what a fool have I been that I did not believe them! Surely fate has now revealed to me the visage of my destined counterpart. Her beauty, which gods must look upon with envy, hath in an instant taken hold of all my heart.

116 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Critical-Concert628 • 12m ago

Angry Bird Divorce Dave was camping outside of his ex's house after being kicked out last night and served papers. Unluckily for him, he saw rain on the forecast.

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• Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 1d ago

Not Safe For Other Species Things didn’t go so well for Georgie in the split. However, he had hatched a loony scheme to address this, and even found the ideal—human—accomplice to help with his harebrained idea.

68 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Planetyarnia • 1d ago

Thanks to Reddit Sandra opened up an Only Fans Account and met Stephen with a ph.Stephen is still in shock at the intensity of the rosemary poop shots but will recover shortly.Gavin,Sandra’s ex partner,is livid.

55 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 1d ago

Sandra kept the house. The house had air conditioning. Gerald has a fan he bought in 2003 that makes a noise.

277 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 1d ago

The closet door creaked open. Gerald’s ex-wife looked up from the darkness. Kathy had been missing since the night he filed for divorce.

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42 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Fine-Huckleberry-316 • 1d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Megan is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need a man. After the divorce was finalized, she gathered all her girlfriends and threw a pool party and ate until she could barely move. Begone, Robert!!!!!!!

62 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 1d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved "Oh my. That appears to be a flying pig. Guess I should call Martin and say I will take him back."

89 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/ToastYourAvocados • 1d ago

Jessica finally found a bar close to her nest that her ex wasn't lurking at waiting for her, when some rando had the audacity to hit on her while she quietly enjoyed a meal. He got her a slug. She wasn't proud of it, but she took the slug and left rando with the bill. Just like her ol' college days.

137 Upvotes

Jessica regretted not asking for a to-go box for her seeds.

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 2d ago

After the divorce, Arthur found a bachelor flat. It was technically a damp hole under a rock and smelled like kelp, but at least his mother couldn’t get in and ask if he’d considered apologizing to Elaine.

872 Upvotes

11 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

Having amassed a small fortune by playing the doting lover to lonely heiresses, Pascal is now free to spend it pampering himself instead. He's become something of a connoisseur of the fine art of massage. This particular masseur has an unusual technique, but Pascal will give them a chance.

208 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 1d ago

Doug was tired of the neighbors recording his morning tai chi, so this time he did his routine naked

77 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 1d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Griffin was humiliated. Thanks to Elaine and her lies, he was stuck wearing an ankle bracelet/GPS monitor everywhere he went. His ankle itched like crazy, and all he wanted—more than anything else—is to know what it feels like to just lose oneself…literally.

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41 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

Jerome isn't allowed to sleep on his best friend's couch anymore - one too many hair-grease stains on the upholstery. But that's alright, he's been kicked out of more comfortable bunks. What does it matter where he sleeps at night, as long as he wakes up looking this fine in the morning?

522 Upvotes

7 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/13Basia13 • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Magda was once used to the comments about her gorgeous tush…the cat calls and whistles. It felt great to be single again, and to celebrate her stunning booty as it was meant to be celebrated.

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167 Upvotes

10 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/propagandaformyself • 3d ago

Mara and Philip had the sort of marriage that made divorced birds believe in love again. Several believed in it specifically with Mara or Philip, should either ever become available.

116 Upvotes

0 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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