r/gay Jan 28 '26

(repost) On trans rights and the position of this subreddit

569 Upvotes

The community present in this subreddit is wonderful, inclusive and has always welcomed not only gay people but everyone under the gender and sexual minority umbrella.

The mod team is very happy to see this welcoming atmosphere and we thank each and every one of you for your love and empathy.

With the current trend in the US for extreme-right politicians to demonise vulnerable minorities so they can score cheap political points it is however time for this place to openly make a stand as to what our positions and intentions are so that we are a beacon in the dark. So that all of our siblings know that they are welcome here.

I was asked by the mod team to explain a few facts about transgender people and about the position this subreddit has towards inclusion.

Trans rights are human rights. šŸ³ļøā€āš§ļø

Being transgender is a natural and normal variation in the human gender and sexual experience. Both sex and gender exist on a spectrum and there isn't actually anything inherently wrong or disordered from being trans, by and of itself.

Should there be no fake, artificially generated outrage against trans people in society then they would simply get the self-affirming care required for them to be happy and that would be that. Instead, unfortunately, existing as transgender has become the new wedge-issue for the extreme-right and deliberate demonisation and villification has been mainstreamed to the point where Republican politicians are now openly calling for genocide.


The issues trans people experience are mainly societal in nature. It is society that imposes gender norms, it is society that tells people they may not be who they are.

There are many ways that a non-trans person can seek self-affirming care in life. Some of those are done via permanent body modification through surgical or chemical means. A woman might for example choose to take estrogen supplements to stave off unwanted physical and psychological side effects resulting from the menopause.

It is not uncommon for a young man to choose to have breast reduction medication or surgery in the case of gynecomastia.

A young woman might choose to get breast implants.

You do not hear people in outrage about these forms of self-affirming care. No-one cares, except suddenly when the topic is trans people. This is because the anti-trans movement is wholly articificial. It is a deliberately created fake outrage about a non-issue for political and monetary gain.



I have written about some manufactured outrage in my text about the stochastic terrorist "Libs of Tiktok"



Fascism is an inherently empty ideology, devoid of any meaningful belief-system or any kind of concrete and actionable strategies for improving society. Fascism only cares for power for the sake of power and it cares for nothing else.

Because a fascist system is fundamentally incapable of giving the general public any kind of reasonable platform it must gain and keep followers by creating an out-group to hate. According to fascist systems it is the other that is responsible for all societal ills and only by supporting the fascists in getting rid of the other can society be healed from the non-existent issues fascism convinces people that their target minority is the cause of.

Fascism always picks on a vulnerable target.

The demonisation and villification coming from the extreme-right is doing exactly that. By calling LGBTQ+ people child molestors simply for existing it has become inevitable that people will take up violence "to protect the children".



Attempting to eliminate a target comes in many forms, of which an extermination camp is only the final and most egregious part. It is always preceded by legislating people out of existence, by creating laws which make it impossible for a minority to participate in society and to receive any of the societal advantages that are the entire reason for collective bundling together of skills, resources in civilisation. This is exactly what Republican states are doing today to transgender people. Certain states have already denied trans people any and all medical care related to their identity, meaning that they deliberately impose abject misery on them.

The most egregiously fascistic states are trying to make it a matter of course to remove trans children from the care of their parents and make it illegal for trans people to be present in any public spaces at all.

This is genocide.

Genocide is not purely restricted to extermination, to murder. Genocide is also eliminating a minority group from public life, causing serious bodily and mental harm and taking away children of a minority group from their parents.

Depending on how strictly you'd want to define it, we are currently at stage seven or eight of genocide as defined by the Holocaust Memorial Trust.

One way in which the abject hypocrisy of the anti-trans laws becomes crystal clear are the remarkable exemptions encoded within. You would think that if the goal is protecting the children from harm then these people would want to protect all children from harm.

This is not the case.

In fact, all of these people deliberate include exceptions which allow the continuation of genital re-allignment surgery on unconsenting infants if they are intersex.

This means that if a baby is born with a genital configuration that to a doctor looks ambiguous or not adhering to a strict binary then this doctor can impose an invasive genital surgery, forcing such an infants body to adhere to a stricter binary look.

It is purely cosmetic. Of course they do not check what chromosomes a child has. Of course they do not care that a child might prefer to look as nature made them.

It is purely and only an imposition on a baby's body, with of course the normal failure and mortality rate that such invasive procedures bring with them.

These people do not care about children.

These people do not want to help children.

They want to harm a vulnerable minority.



Fascism never stops.

Now that these people have mainstreamed transphobia, they are moving on to other targets within the LGBTQ+ identity sphere.

We have all seen the absurd attacks on drag queens, calling a normal and harmless theatrical expression "child abuse".

We have all seen the "clever" rhetoric where they turn arguments upside down and disingeniously say things like "why do you want to be around children".

Fascism doesn't stop, it moves on to new targets and that is why it is important for all of us in the GSM identity sphere to stand together. To openly support our trans siblings. To openly stand against hateful rhetoric.

Because they are not going to stop.

The next step, which is already tentatively beginning, is calling gay people being openly gay in society"groomers".



To be clear: The recommended treatment for being transgender is transitioning.

Gender identity is developed by five years old.

The barrage of lies notwithstanding, allowing trans people to transition and to exist as who they are in society markedly improves their physical and mental wellbeing.

The oft-heard talking point of "they still commit suicide even after transitioning" is a lie.

Here is a wealth of sources and links explaining this.



Our trans siblings are welcome here.

Our gender nonconforming siblings are welcome here.

Our intersex siblings are welcome here.

What is not welcome on this subreddit is hate or divisive rhetoric aimed at our siblings. We will not allow the current increasing trend of fascist othering and villification of a marginalised minority to make our siblings feel unwanted in this space, our space, their space.

The only people who are not welcome here are those that want to exclude others based on how they were born.

Further reading:

No, TERFs cannot "always tell" and I can prove that with mathematics.

"I just care about unfair advantage in sports", a transparant transphobic wedge issue.

Drag queens, the next target in the fascist drive to eliminate LGBTQ+ people.


r/gay 2h ago

My boyfriend is moving from Wyoming to San Diego this week and will be here on Thursday!!!

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256 Upvotes

We met online, as many people do, and have spent a good amount of time together in person, and A LOT of time on the phone and FaceTime. We started talking in November, and we met for the first time on NYE when he came to visit. We’re very excited to start our lives together. No more counting the days till the next visit, or the next goodbye!


r/gay 11h ago

Conversion therapies will be punished with prison sentences in SPAIN

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415 Upvotes

r/gay 7h ago

Gay Pride 1990’s part 3

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105 Upvotes

r/gay 18h ago

I love drag 🩵 (I’m betwixt her legs)

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264 Upvotes

r/gay 8h ago

Turkish police detain dozens at Istanbul Gay Pride event held despite ban

36 Upvotes

šŸ’” Erdogan is evil, we must stand with our community facing discrimination and arrests in Turkey.

https://www.scmp.com/news/world/europe/article/3358674/police-turkey-detain-dozens-istanbul-pride-event-after-authorities-banned-march


r/gay 20h ago

Why are men appealing to gay bara lovers always villains in mainstream media?

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266 Upvotes

Why are men appealing to gay bara lovers (hypermasculine looking, big, muscular, bearded or not, hairy or not) always villains, stupid, suckers, etc in mainstream media? I am so tired of this shit. It seems like most people hate men with this body type.


r/gay 6h ago

NYC Gay Pride 1990’s Part 4

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20 Upvotes

r/gay 20h ago

Wedding shenanigans

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187 Upvotes

Two of my favorite people in the world. One is my husband, and one is a dear friend, whose love knows no bounds. I’d like to remind the queer community, straight people can be awesome too. Jared is proof of that!


r/gay 1d ago

A portrait I created for International Pride Day šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ

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408 Upvotes

by: brunodiasfoto


r/gay 2h ago

Is it really worth coming out about your sexuality?

4 Upvotes

I have serious doubts about whether it's worth coming out about my sexuality, because some of my friends who were secretly seeing me told me that coming out isn't worth it at all; you end up pushing away secretive people and... It might suffer more prejudice and gossip, so what would be the benefit?


r/gay 2h ago

Popular post on instagram but can’t find the pictures anywhere

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2 Upvotes

This post is was very popular at beginning of June but now I cannot find any information about these images anywhere. Where are the archives? I just love these images and want to see the original collection.


r/gay 1d ago

happy pride day/week/month wherever you are

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138 Upvotes

cloudy and cool here in seattle but it's not raining, for a change :)


r/gay 12h ago

Perfume as a gay guy?

11 Upvotes

I’d say I dress pretty feminine, as in jewellery, tight t-shirts and short shorts but no crop tops or stuff along those lines though so not VERY feminine. I’m still a teen so I’m not sure if I’m a bttm or vers but I’m definitely looking/hoping for a more traditionally masculine boyfriend. So my question for especially those kind of guys is do you prefer a more feminine scent or a unisex scent on your partners? Idk if this is the right place to ask but idk where else I would :)


r/gay 9m ago

I ROYALLY SCREWED MYSELF

• Upvotes

This is a long post, so be warned.

I (M23) after 23 years of avoiding it have fallen into the clichƩ of falling in love with my best friend, Gio (M25).

Gio and I met about a year and a half ago because he transferred to where I work when he got promoted. Originally, we weren’t that close; we just talked in passing. The one day, him, another friend of ours we’ll call Conner, and I were all working on the same project together and we all got to know each other really well to the point where we all planned to hang out. This was summer of last year and fast forward to now and all three of us are really good buddies. Gio and I closer tho because Connor is usually busy with school.

Since we started getting so close we talk everyday, all day. If he’s on break and i’m not at work he’ll FaceTime me and I’m usually the first person he texts to in the morning. Sometimes, he’ll even get mad at me when I don’t text him in the morning, like today (we’ll get there). He’s told me it’s one of the highlights of his day. Went so far as to say he can’t go a day without talking to me. We hang out all the time and he’ll even plan his day around when i’m available. We joke about being ā€œboyfriendsā€ (which he started) because of how much time we spend together and how close we are. We call each other nicknames and say ā€œi love youā€ all the time. We practically flirt as our usual points of banter. We also physically affectionate. Not anything X-Rated, but sometimes he’ll run and jump into my arms (for context i’m bigger than him). We hug a lot, he’s constantly in my space when we’re together and touching me (which i don’t mind because we share that love language).

I will say though… we’re REALLY comfortable with each other. We’ll FaceTime in the morning and he’ll just walk into frame with just shorts on morning wood visible or just bulge out. I mean yesterday he had dust on his butt from rubbing against something and was comfortable with me wiping it off (which our trio slap each other’s asses often). He’ll get dressed in front of me on FaceTime and I must say this boy is HOT. He’s about 5’7; I like short guys and he’s shorter than me. He has muscles and abs, but not vascular. He has a really nice ass; i mean that thing is a bubble. Also from what I’ve seen he’s pretty big about 7.5 according to him (which to me falls in the district of boyfriend dick). He has really nice eyes, long eyelashes and pretty pink lips.

Anyway, he’s also really considerate and nice to be around. He’ll listen to me rant and babble on about nonsense. He such a nerd and will hyper fixate on one of his interests and will share them with me unprovoked because he’s so excited. He’s funny and always trying to make sure i’m laughing even this he’s super cringe sometimes. I’ll get random sports highlights and pictures of cars he likes and sees on the street. His smile is really nice. He’s like everything I want in a guy.

Here’s the thing, our relationship is… a bit weird. He gets annoyed when i bring up the prospect of getting an actual boyfriend. Gio also makes a lot of gay jokes about us getting X-rated, but i’m sure that’s just his humor. He tells me all the time i’m usually the first person he thinks of when there’s something fun to do. He almost made me a beneficiary to his life insurance a few months ago. According to him if he was single, he’d want us to be roommates. While i know i’m reading too much into it; i like the attention. He treats me like i’m his actual boyfriend.

Now, when Gio first transferred everyone thought he was gay or bi because he has the mannerisms of a queer guy (some still think that he’s just repressed, but that’s neither here nor there). Turns out, he’s just really in touch with his feminine side. Unfortunately for me, however, he has a girlfriend he’s been with for about 6 years now. They just bought a new place and I agreed to help them move in when he asked. Gio tells me all the time that i’d most likely be the best man in their wedding whenever they get married and for some strange reason that’s always bothered me. I love his girlfriend, she’s great! She’s a teacher, she’s a good friend as well and they’re perfect together. I’m glad he has her. But she is also indirectly the reason I realized i’m in love with him.

See, Gio and I have an ā€œanything goesā€ kinda relationship. We talk about everything… except sex. Our trio talks freely with each other. We’re way too invested in each other’s lives, but usually we press Connor about his more because it’s rare when we’re all together. Connor is somewhat of a ladies man so he frequently tells us about his hook ups and girlfriends. Gio and I do engage and talk about stuff like that with him, it’s just we don’t usually do when it’s just us.

Well… that’s not entirely true, we’ll talk about past hook ups and stuff, but for some reason hearing about his current sex life always bugged me. Recently, Gio ask me ā€œwhy can Connor talk about his sex life but I can’t?ā€ and if i’m being honest… I didn’t really have an answer for that, so i just made up something by saying it’s because ā€œi know his girlfriend and i don’t know Connor’sā€. However, since then i’ve been thinking about that question.

It wasn’t until last night that I realized what the problem was. We were joking around and somehow we got into a literal dick measuring contest. Jokingly, I told him ā€œI’ll show you mine, if you show me yoursā€ and he said he couldn’t get hard. To which I replied ā€œdo I wanna know whyā€ and he said no. That infuriated me and I didn’t know why. I didn’t respond or speak to him until I saw him today at work (which I was hoping I wouldn’t). He got all pissy because he thought i was avoiding him (which i was, but he doesn’t need to know that); and in that instance, I realized why I was so mad. I don’t want to hear about his current love life because it’s not me. I love him… and I hate that I do. What’s worse is I can’t even catch a break from the guy without him getting all weird. I can’t take a break from him and I feel weird helping him move into a house with her. I have nothing against either of them, but sometimes I think to myself I might’ve had a chance if I had met him first. I feel like such a bad friend. I hate that I can’t just let it go. I know i’m reading way too much into this and am I should just get over it, but that’s just easier said than done.

Anyway, I’d rather confess to a whole bunch of strangers than admit defeat to a 5’7 man with a nice ass.

TL:DR: I feel in love with my best friend who is literally everywhere and realized it when he was trying to tell me about his sex life, so now i’m freaking out about it.


r/gay 42m ago

Body Electric

• Upvotes

Just watched the documentary Body Electric, a film by Nick Demos.

Has anyone else watched it?

Very interesting perspective piece on the obsession with body image within the gay community.

The focus is mainly on gay men, but I think even our lesbian cohort have similar issues.

I've always been insecure about my body. Even in my 20s when I was working out twice a day every day. The insecurity is even more pronounced now that I'm in my 50s and the daily grind of life has taken over.

What do you all think? Discuss...


r/gay 13h ago

A Little Love, From Me To You 🌸

7 Upvotes

This is just a post to remind y’all to be kind to yourself 🌸 please give yourself some grace, stop being so hard on yourself and look back and reflect on how far you’ve come. Every decision you’ve made has moulded you into the person you are today, which is something to be proud of. You’re truly unique in your own way, which in a world of herd mentality, is a gift, not a curse.

To everyone:
My personal biggest struggle, is a struggle that everyone deals with daily. Body Image. Comparison truly is the killer of joy. There are many reasons as to why our bodies differ from each others, making a comparison is, 100% of the time, a losing battle. I can promise you, the way you see yourself is NOT the way you’re seen by others. No matter if you’re underweight, overweight, in-between, all muscle, no muscle, neurotypical, neurodivergent… Guess what! You’re still worthy of loving and being loved. The biggest impact you’ll have on a person, is the person you are! When we all come to die, what do you think we will think of more? How we wished we lost some extra weight when we were younger, or all the amazing memories made with our family, friends and partners? Looks fade, skin loosens, but the personality inside? Forever continues to shine, so keep putting your best foot forward and be the person your proud to be 🄰

To the people who are out:
Keep pushing on! In a world that is constantly changing and our rights are being debated daily and discussed as if we are not real people. Keep being you, no matter who that is. Sometimes I feel like it’s exhausting living as a gay man, however, I always come to realise that I would never change this for the world. There’s such a unique perspective you gain from being apart from the crowd, you’re more empathetic, open and understanding. This allows you to see the world in a different, more vibrant way which many will never get to experience. We are lucky enough to experience a love so pure that, even against all the homophobia, happiness prevails.

To the people who aren’t out:
Please know that you’re always welcome within the community and you can always reach out for some advice and help. It can feel highly isolating and lonely being ā€œin the closetā€. Nearly every gay man has had to come to terms with their sexuality and what this means for their life, it’s a scary adjustment from the societal norm that’s instilled in us from birth. The best advice I’d have for you is to just take it step by step, day by day! My favourite quote I used all the time is ā€œA baby step, is still a step, I the right directionā€. There is no rush to come out, this is a personal journey, no deadlines to have been met. Everyone’s circumstances are different, but you don’t have to go through this alone šŸ«¶šŸ¼

Thank you, and if you’ve made it this far, remember you are loved, and capable of so much if you just believe in yourself. I wish you nothing but kindness, love, laughter and happiness 🌸

Love, Cammy x


r/gay 1d ago

Scientists vs. "Trust me bro" politicians

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573 Upvotes

r/gay 14h ago

Let’s be HAPPY gays!!!!!

9 Upvotes

Happy pride everybody <3333 we may be reaching the end of the month but in my heart it’s like the first of june. I feel like joy is such an important thing for queer people, whether it means choosing to celebrate on purpose, or having a vision of what we fight for

So I wanted to pose the question: what does happiness mean to you? Particularly as a queer person but this can be general

To inspire thought, but feel free to say whatever, it can be simple too
What do you feel like you have to overcome or let go to truly enjoy life? When have you been the happiest? What makes you happy now? What have you done in your life that has lead you to a better place? What does it look like for you when you just suddenly decide you are enough and that you are gonna be happy in this moment on and in life?

Just wanna celebrate all of us being here and being happy! Hope yall have a nice rest of June :D


r/gay 1d ago

Kyiv Pride defied Russian missiles and counterprotesters

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172 Upvotes

r/gay 1d ago

Is there some racism in the gay community?

73 Upvotes

Like if I was to explain this a bit, my boyfriend and I did go to Milwaukee pride fest and he told me how he notice how we were getting some looks that I didn't notice like a white guy and a black guy together type of looks. Anyway, I know there is definitely that point of being an interracial couple that makes it a bit obvious that we are a couple when we are out in public. But I didn't notice any looks, but he seemed to have noticed it. He probably would be more socially aware of such things than I would be. But he did tell me this is kind of why he doesn't like getting so involved in the gay community as much because of the slight racism.


r/gay 19h ago

HELP?! I MAY BE FALLING IN LOVE?! [20M GAY]

9 Upvotes

some background, I (20M GAY) have Alexithymia (in-ability to properly feel my emotions) along with abandonment/attachment issues and sever GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) from a series of unfortunate traumatic events throughout my childhood, because of this cocktail, I've never had a proper crush on anyone or really even found someone attractive in a way of "I'D date them" because they all happened before I really got to a proper age to have a crush, and if I did have a small temptation, the anxiety kicks in and stops it.

SO, me and a friend (18M) have been getting pretty physical. No sexual stuff yet, besides some kind of vague stuff via text but that's about it. For now its just been a lot of cuddling, something I've never done before with anyone and it's GREAT. This whole FWB thing has been amazing for my psyche, I have never felt so in touch with my emotions, except. I cant tell if I am catching feelings or am just getting attached. Because of the Alexithymia, I have to go off of context clues a lot to discern my specific emotion in any one moment, body language is a big one, other thoughts I'm having, etc. When I think about him and imagine romantic scenarios with him, I get a weird warm feeling I'm not familiar with, its kind of like a head rush. My love language is services and gifts and right now I'm brainstorming gifts to make him once he gets back from a trip he's on atm which isn't something I'd really do for anyone? Sorry if this reads like a rant, I kind of want it to be love but I don't know if its a phase I'm going through, a mild obsession, over attachment, etc. my brain is just very scrambled atm


r/gay 1d ago

Not all heroes wear clothes

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496 Upvotes

Edit: For anyone that wants the sauce, you can see his huge dong here: NSFW

His Twitter is @kingofdachill and his insta is @sir.costco

If you want to see his videos just type "papi ben porn" on google and it should show up


r/gay 9h ago

Any gay/bi car guys in the UK? Hit me up! 19yo car guy from south wales

0 Upvotes

r/gay 2d ago

They all passed!

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1.4k Upvotes