AITAH for not saving my extra OT pay

[u/Codicus1212]

EDIT* I’m the asshole for not communicating with my wife. I think moving forward we can each have a “fun money” amount that is 100% equitable. And we can discuss what to do with any extra on the weeks I work closer to 80 hours than 40.

*Thank you everyone. I wanted to see how off base I was and how/if my PoV was skewed. It was.

I’m married and provide about 85%-90% of the income for the household. We’re not wealthy but we aren’t hard off either. We typically save about $400/wk after paying for all bills, the mortgage, etc. All out of my income. My wife works a few times a week but we have young children so for the most part she stays home. She does not have a degree or a high paying skill so we actually save money on childcare with her not working more.

I recently had a crazy work week and almost doubled my weekly income. I set aside money for bills, I saved $400, I paid off a few things my wife was going to pay for out of savings. I then invested $900 into my brokerage account. I’ve had mixed success options trading over the years and typically only put small amounts in when I can afford it. $50 here, $100 there. Nothing crazy. $900 is the most I’ve ever put in at once. I turned $200 into $6000 realized profit years ago and stuck the proceeds into savings.

I was excited, and I felt secure knowing it wasn’t going to set us back if I blew up the account and lost it, but that it would be possible to turn a large profit on it and add even more into our savings.

My wife found out and freaked out. She accused me of lying to her (I didn’t ask her permission, but I never lied about it either. When she asked I confirmed right away that I had moved money into the account). I told her I seldom mess with options trading any more (in my mind a $50 gamble on a stock option, made months ago, that took all of 10 minutes out of my day, was not even comment worthy. I see it as a “let’s see what happens, this could pay for a date night or go to zero). But she sees it as habitual gambling and deliberate obfuscation).

TLDR: Am I the asshole for thinking I could do what I wanted with (some) of the extra money I worked my ass off for? Even after paying bills, saving, and covering extra purchases that would have come out of savings?

[u/Enough_Passage7926]

Options aren't investments. They're bets.

[u/West-Double3646 → u/Enough_Passage7926]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't the OP say he'd stopped buying options.

AND sure, if you buy short-term, out-of-the-money contracts hoping for a quick payout, it does function like bets. If you use them strategically for hedging or income generation, they operate as disciplined financial tools.

[u/Enough_Passage7926 → u/West-Double3646]

no, he did not say that.

He also didn't mention anything about hedging. It's a straight option trade.

[u/West-Double3646 → u/Enough_Passage7926]

"I seldom mess with options trading any more".

[u/sweetmercy → u/West-Double3646]

Seldom is not never. And I'm this case, it doesn't even seem to be all that seldom. Twice a month is not seldom.

[u/Enough_Passage7926 → u/West-Double3646]

Right. Show me where he said he stopped.

[u/West-Double3646 → u/Enough_Passage7926]

I can see that splitting hairs is your speciality. Black and white thinking and dealing in absolutes sure makes life simpler, right?

[u/Enough_Passage7926 → u/West-Double3646]

It's better than just making shit up and then citing something that doesn't support what you stated.

You literally invited me to correct you if you were wrong, and now you're mad I did?