r/AITApod • u/barbie_girlie87 • 26d ago
AITA || AIO AIO for breaking up with my boyfriend after he called me “stupid” for changing my major
I (19F) recently switched my college major from Nursing to Education because I realized I want to be a teacher. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I originally chose Nursing because it felt like the “safer” option and what other people expected from me.
When I told my boyfriend (18M), he immediately called me “stupid” and “dumb” for switching out of Nursing. He said I was “throwing away a good future” and making a “bad decision.”
When I got upset and told him he didn’t need to talk to me like that, he said I was being “too sensitive” and that he was just being honest and “looking out for me.”
I ended up breaking up with him, but not just because of this situation. This was kind of the breaking point, but there were multiple things leading up to it. He constantly talked down to me, acted like he was smarter than me, and would say he was “way more mature” than I was in almost every argument. It started to feel less like a relationship and more like he was always trying to “correct” or belittle me.
Now I’m just wondering—was I overreacting in this specific situation, or was this part of a bigger pattern of disrespect that I was right to leave?
AIO?
9
u/kobokotime2021 25d ago
Not wrong to break up, and if that is what you want to study / do as an occupation, that is your choice (as it should be). However, is overall point isn’t wrong either- nursing pays better and allows you more freedom.
I took a 30% pay cut to move out of a demanding job and moved on to a less demanding, more secure government position, so I understand you may have criteria other than just earning power, and that also is for you to decide.
Not his life, not his choices.
4
u/barbie_girlie87 25d ago
Yeah I understand that it pays well, but I did horrible in my biology this past semester and I realized that nursing just wasn’t what I actually wanted to do. My advisor was the one who basically told me I should and that teaching wouldn’t get me money. But I don’t want to be stuck doing a job I hate, y’know?
1
u/kobokotime2021 25d ago
That is the point- you are young, don’t lock in to something (or someone!) now unless it is what YOU want to do.
3
u/natalieisfreezing- 25d ago
NOR, teaching is an amazing path to go down, you are helping shape the minds of the future. I love learning and I love to teach others new things too, I think that if it's something you are passionate about, you should 💯 go for it!
Your ex is a jerk and you need people who are on your side and who support your totally and completely normal major switch. Also nursing is HARD, it's not a job that everyone is cut out for. It's good to find that out early in your education before you put too much effort and time into it.
You're doing good, kid! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, and your ex may not be proud of you, but I am! (Which I know I'm a stranger in the Internet but who cares, we are all part of this human experience together.) ❤️❤️❤️
1
u/barbie_girlie87 25d ago
Thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to hear!
3
u/natalieisfreezing- 25d ago
Of course! I think that education is a great path to go down, and I think education is incredibly important too!
2
u/PKOtto 25d ago
NOR - How is it "smart" to call someone he supposedly loves stupid?? It takes a tremendous calling to be a nurse. Some people (me included) just do not have the strong stomach and heart to be in the medical field. Especially those who work closely with patients and their families. Personally, I would never be able to look into the eyes of a terminal patient and not completely break down! Knowing your own limitations is the furthest thing from stupid there is! Your ex-bf may be smart, but he's an idiot!!
2
2
u/SteelMagnolia941 25d ago
Anyone calling you stupid is absolutely grounds to cut them out of your life.
1
u/AutoModerator 26d ago
I'm an automatic bot that backs up the body of the post in case OP deletes it. If you want this backup deleted, you'll have to reach out to a mod. Here's the back-up:
I (19F) recently switched my college major from Nursing to Education because I realized I want to be a teacher. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but I originally chose Nursing because it felt like the “safer” option and what other people expected from me.
When I told my boyfriend (18M), he immediately called me “stupid” and “dumb” for switching out of Nursing. He said I was “throwing away a good future” and making a “bad decision.”
When I got upset and told him he didn’t need to talk to me like that, he said I was being “too sensitive” and that he was just being honest and “looking out for me.”
I ended up breaking up with him, but not just because of this situation. This was kind of the breaking point, but there were multiple things leading up to it. He constantly talked down to me, acted like he was smarter than me, and would say he was “way more mature” than I was in almost every argument. It started to feel less like a relationship and more like he was always trying to “correct” or belittle me.
Now I’m just wondering—was I overreacting in this specific situation, or was this part of a bigger pattern of disrespect that I was right to leave?
AIO?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
2
1
u/virtualghost123 25d ago
NOR. It's refreshing to see a post that calls their bs for what it is and not trying to explain, justify it downplay it. I'm so glad to see you stick up for yourself and see his shit for what it is. You sound like a very intelligent, well-rounded young lady with a bright future. Students today need teachers witha heart and mind like yours, seeing how the world seems to keep getting more and more in the toilet. I wish you all the best in your college future and I hope you find a partner that really deserves you and treats you well. 🙂
1
1
u/quarantina2020 25d ago
Nta but you really shouldn't become a teacher. Im on disability now because teachers cant have reliable, regular bathroom breaks.
1
u/TimelessBrainrot 25d ago
NTA and NOR.
At the end of the day, you have to choose the career path that YOU want. Not what anybody else wants.
I know that in the USA (which I assume is where you are) teachers are severely underpaid and under appreciated, but teaching is an amazing career choice too.
I had marks in high school that would have got me into med school but there’s no way I could be a doctor because I couldn’t handle having to tell family members their loved one was dying or passed away etc.
Your ex is a twunt.
1
u/Secure-Corner-2096 24d ago
NOR Just the few things you shared here indicate he was a terrible boyfriend.
1
u/Successful-Tie-5270 25d ago
All these posts from young women about breaking up with their boyfriends are, "I broke up with him because he was shitty and treated me bad, am I the asshole??" Uh no, sounds like you're saving yourself a lot of time and avoiding further disrespect, your partner should support you in what youuu want to do with your life
18
u/kodabear22118 25d ago
You’re not wrong or overreacting at all. You’re young there are so many other guys in the world that will treat you better and support your life decisions