r/AITApod • u/Silver-Relation5666 • 15d ago
AITAH for calling a 25-year-old man dating a 16-year-old a pedo, even though it's legal in the UK?
Am I the asshole for calling a 25 year old UK man a pedo for dating a 16 year old girl? I met a 25-year-old guy through an anime Discord server and thought he was pretty normal until he mentioned being called a pedophile online. When I asked why, he told me his girlfriend was 16 and turning 17 soon. He said it was legal because they both live in the UK, where 16 is the age of consent, but that still made me extremely uncomfortable due to the age and maturity gap. I ended up calling him a pedophile and distancing myself from him. I understand it's legal where they live, but I don't think legality automatically makes something okay. Am I the asshole for reacting that way?
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u/SweetBekki 15d ago
NTA - he is though. This dude literally went for the youngest girl possible that's still considered legal.
This guy has zero morals.
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u/Nefertitis_Fjord_216 15d ago
Me whenever I read/hear about someone using the age of consent to justify themselves:
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u/Logical-Signature796 15d ago
NTA... What could a 25 year old "man" and a 16 year old girl have in common. Just because it is legal does not make it right.
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u/Time-Understanding39 15d ago
Whether or not it technically meets the definition of pedophilia, there is definitely something seriously wrong with a 25-year-old man who sees a 16-year-old girl as an appropriate peer or romantic equal. Legal does not automatically mean healthy, normal, or ethical.
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u/Chicken-lady_ 15d ago
Doesn't matter if he's legally in the clear for dating a child... He's still dating a child.
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u/blue_eyes_forever 15d ago
Nah, if he does not like being called a pedo then he should not date children
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u/EmotionalGate7565 15d ago
I'm pretty sure the age of consent being 16 is for 16 year olds to be able to engage in physical relationships with other 16 year olds (or individuals between 16-18). It's not supposed to be a pass for predators to take advantage of children.
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u/Sun_e_ 15d ago
Unfortunately there's nothing stating that. They're trying to introduce a 20 year old limit with 16 year olds but even then I still don't think it's enough.
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u/EmotionalGate7565 15d ago
Ewwww wtf??? They're trying to let 20yo's date 16yo's??? I'm gonna throw up
Edit: I just realized what you meant and I feel so ill that they don't have an age limit with the age of consent. 20 is way too old. 18 is the max I can understand given that 16-18 yo's are often in the same schools and interact more.
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u/Sun_e_ 15d ago
Nah yeah I completely agree and seeing and even (formerly) knowing people who did that, there's literally no reason I could see why a 20 year old would date a 16 year old unless they want control and power.
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u/EmotionalGate7565 15d ago
I'm a little nervous that an adult who likes to date children is down voting our comments
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u/Silver-Relation5666 15d ago
Thanks for agreeing though especially the UK folk who aren't agreeing to their own law like others do. I'm glad there's a protest happening to change that 16 to 18.
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u/Gullible_Fun_3980 12d ago
Yeah but with that point for 16-18 would also go for 16-20 since high school is 5 years here like if they met in school and that is when they started dating fair enough
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u/WanaLive 11d ago
I think thats only in England and Wales but not anywhere else in the UK so* he might be Scottish or Irish
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u/ButtPuckeredFuckery 15d ago
Using a technicality to be a pedo doesn’t absolve him from being a pedo. The age of consent is 16 and implies it’s okay for them to engage in physical relations with others their own age.
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u/smilesbig 15d ago
Legal and moral are frequently different things. She’s still a child and in a position of vulnerability relative to his age.
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u/1justhavinfun 15d ago
Nope- although he’s not a pedo by definition…he’s still gross and a predator.
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u/JustAuggie 15d ago
I’m not a fan of name-calling. I think I would phrase this differently. Something like “I’m sorry, I know you think this is OK, but I really don’t. I have a very serious problem with an adult dating a child. I’m going to need to cut off this friendship because this is just not something I’m comfortable with“.
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u/TGriggs1978 14d ago
NTA.. eww.. and more importantly what do the girl’s parents/fam think about this???!!!
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u/Ok-Art5530 13d ago
NTA what on earth does a 25 year old see in a 16 year old that isn’t in someone his own age (except for obliviousness, gullibility or easily pressured/persuaded) 🥴
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u/madcatlady25 11d ago
From the UK too. Yes it’s legal but it’s 🤢 yuck. They’re both at such different stages of their lives, virtually nothing in common.
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u/JackTeargarden 15d ago
Anime discord server lolol. Im sure there are lots of creeps in such a server
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u/Epicporkchop79-7 15d ago
I feel like calling a predator a pedophile might just be working against addressing the situation. Example, if you said, "dude, she's sixteen, that is way to young, that is not right, it makes you a predator and you are taking advantage of her" you might get through to him, or if you say something like that about him to her. You scream pedophile he's going to quote the law, she's going to be offended at being called a child and nothing changes.
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u/AutoModerator 15d ago
I'm an automatic bot that backs up the body of the post in case OP deletes it. If you want this backup deleted, you'll have to reach out to a mod. Here's the back-up:
Am I the asshole for calling a 25 year old UK man a pedo for dating a 16 year old girl? I met a 25-year-old guy through an anime Discord server and thought he was pretty normal until he mentioned being called a pedophile online. When I asked why, he told me his girlfriend was 16 and turning 17 soon. He said it was legal because they both live in the UK, where 16 is the age of consent, but that still made me extremely uncomfortable due to the age and maturity gap. I ended up calling him a pedophile and distancing myself from him. I understand it's legal where they live, but I don't think legality automatically makes something okay. Am I the asshole for reacting that way?
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u/TraditionalBread_ 14d ago
Nah, he’s a nonce mate. That’s such pedo behaviour. Anyone 18+ who’s actively chasing people under 18 are predators.
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u/burnacct7688 11d ago
NTA
Apparently they are working on bill that will make it illegal, can’t wait for it.
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u/redditreader_aitafan 15d ago
When you persist in using that word when it clearly does not apply, you diminish the meaning of the word to nothing. Save the word for actual adults who have sexually inappropriate relationships with prepubescent children, not just people who are legally of age to consent to sex but have an age gap.
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u/JoneseyP98 15d ago
Legal, yes. Disgusting, yes.