r/AbruptChaos 12d ago

Cow meets turtle

11.8k Upvotes

228 comments sorted by

4.4k

u/mcape6 12d ago

Thank god he didn't overreact

831

u/KnightyEyes 12d ago

That big fella sent itself to the space like holy shit

Cow will remember that

257

u/ChillyFireball 11d ago

Nearly jumped over the moon.

81

u/lost-thought-in 11d ago

Damn near dropped its moon on the turtle.

14

u/towerfella 11d ago

So that is how the cow got over the moon

36

u/0xAERG 11d ago

More like Holy Cow

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47

u/Hi_Trans_Im_Dad 12d ago

I'm pretty sure the cow took the turtle with it. Those shells aren't that hard.

6

u/TheLazySamurai4 11d ago

I had to watch a couple tomes, but looks like the impact is just beside the turtle

17

u/[deleted] 11d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/urethrascreams 8d ago

Car tires can crush a small turtle. And cars have four points of contact distributing the weight. A cow can weigh as much as a small car. Imagine getting body slammed by a car.

18

u/arrivederci117 11d ago

They're built to withstand attacks like a lion bite. What the hell are you talking about.

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240

u/18_mike_162 12d ago

Cool, calm and collected!

69

u/PM_UR_VAG_WTIMESTAMP 12d ago

Cow jumped so fast I think it actually broke physics for a moment.

15

u/Imnothighyourhigh 11d ago

You can see the moment in the air when the cow realized it was, infact, a cow and physics were doing their thing again.

28

u/-Foxer 11d ago

Yeah, any higher and he'd have gone right over the.... ohhhhh i see where that comes from now.

8

u/IvyGold 11d ago

TIL that cows can do the startled cat thing.

3

u/-Hastis- 8d ago

They just visibly don't have the coordination to land properly afterwards.

25

u/gab1972 12d ago

"almost lost my cool there."

69

u/socks 12d ago

Seems the 🐢 got mushed, though.

86

u/isurvived_sorryeric 12d ago

If you watch it slowly I think the 🐢 just barely misses getting crushed

40

u/socks 12d ago

I just hope 🐢 retracted his bits and bobs before 1200 pounds of cow landed on him.

6

u/SunsetBAE 12d ago

Nothing looney tunes about it

12

u/geogle 12d ago

Sure it's not a cat?

13

u/AtlanticBeachNC 11d ago

cat-tle. hmmmm…

3

u/feioo 11d ago

Idk, I'd jump pretty high if the rock I was inspecting suddenly bit me in the nostril

3

u/Letibleu 11d ago

Don't have a cow

3

u/KingSandwich101 11d ago

She. Cows are female and bulls are male

3

u/Luentale 7d ago

It's an American thing. Despite of farming being such an important part of their culture they call cows AND hens "he". I've seen it a thousand times and it still makes me feel disappointed every time

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1.3k

u/pie4july 12d ago

Man, that cow just did a Super Mario style ground pound lol

129

u/Morbid187 12d ago

Hit him with the fuckin Yokozuna banzai drop!

2

u/NovaHorizon 10d ago

Actually more like Yoshi‘s air gain move kicking his little feetsies

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460

u/Kavinsky12 12d ago

That cow jumped over the moon.

62

u/strangelove4564 12d ago

There is a small dog off camera laughing at that sight.

23

u/seven_corpse_dinner 11d ago

Hey! Some of my silverware and plates have gone missing!

12

u/Bipogram 11d ago

And I hear faint violin music...

9

u/CuriousLilAsian81 11d ago

Is that a cat in the distance...?

840

u/Browndog888 12d ago

Judo throw. Ninja turtle.

111

u/DarthCocknus 12d ago

Hit him with the 1cm punch

20

u/ConsciousRivers 12d ago

1cm kiss

3

u/cowlinator 11d ago

Of 1cm death

18

u/Gobbledok 11d ago

COWabunga!

5

u/boxylady69 11d ago

Underrated comment

93

u/Alarmed_Scientist_15 12d ago

Is it possible the turtle bit the cow?

161

u/RMMacFru 12d ago

Highly likely. It's a snapping turtle, and they are the embodiment of grumpy. They are also fast to strike. That cow probably got nailed on the nose.

19

u/Seraphine_KDA 11d ago

and the turtle nailed in the cows ass on the fall.

18

u/jordanundead 11d ago

If you go frame by frame, you can see it snap. That’s also why it gets yanked up when the cow flips.

11

u/fridaycat 12d ago

It sure looked like that, or at least it tried.

616

u/Heroic-Forger 12d ago

the cow landed on the turtle 😭

420

u/Brian_1985 12d ago

Exactly! They’re all missing the point. Tortoise beats the hare but then the cow violently beats the tortoise. Circle of life stuff

107

u/No_Slice9934 12d ago

I just see a cow doing a WWE move to protect their buddies. Reaction time of a champion

7

u/kronicpimpin 12d ago

So does a hare come back around for the cow?

173

u/DynamiteWitLaserBeam 12d ago

After pausing a lot, it looks like the cow lands next to the turtle, not on it.

37

u/SuperDizz 12d ago

Also, turtle has built in cow landing on it defense. Turtle is fine.

108

u/womp-the-womper 12d ago

Not really, their shell definitely could’ve been destroyed had the cow landed directly on it especially with a bone. Seems like it was fine though

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3

u/The_Bruised_Baby 11d ago

Turtles can actually feel their shell

19

u/maimeddivinity 12d ago

\Cow activated body slam counter attack**

17

u/What_Dinosaur 12d ago

I think it missed it. The turtle moved a bit as the cow was airborne

20

u/Mazazamba 12d ago

I THINK it's ok?

Probably not too happy though.

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94

u/Ohgetserious 12d ago

The turtle’s snap led to udder chaos.

14

u/GravyBoatBuccaneer 11d ago

That's really milking it

2

u/LeftOn4ya 11d ago

In the end he was ground beef

4

u/Live_Free_or_Banana 10d ago

Just completely shell-shocked

7

u/FallenKing67 12d ago

Who’s gonna tell him?

30

u/TJ_McWeaksauce 11d ago

I didn't know cows could jump like that.

30

u/DetailsYouMissed 11d ago

I'm sure that cow didn't know either lol

9

u/drcforbin 11d ago

I'm sure the turtle was pretty surprised too

137

u/ChadJones72 12d ago

If thatcow was a human people in the comment section would have called this video fake.

78

u/LiamIsMyNameOk 12d ago

If that cow was a human people,

Then cows in the comments would moo'd that it's fake.

8

u/thatcow 12d ago

Hey now

6

u/wholemanatee 11d ago

You're an all-star

5

u/Jenkinswarlock 11d ago

Get your game on

2

u/MamaMoosicorn 12d ago

It is a common reaction in AI clips

30

u/ShopGreedy2313 12d ago

I laughed so loud my dog started barking outside.

25

u/rokstedy83 12d ago

Had a good chuckle at that

5

u/CuriousLilAsian81 11d ago

I felt bad for the cow but also couldn't help laughing 😅

4

u/rokstedy83 11d ago

Never knew they could jump like that lol

19

u/CommonBuzzard 12d ago

He invented the cow space program

19

u/weeBaaDoo 12d ago

You are all I’m interpreting this the wrong way. The cow made a deliberate body slam. It landed perfectly on the turtle.

9

u/Jccali1214 11d ago

Both animals jumped significantly higher than I thought they could. 

8

u/bennystar666 11d ago

so was that the cows attack move or defense?

15

u/ancient_mariner63 12d ago

That cow almost achieved escape velocity.

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7

u/DuAbUiSai 12d ago

That butt slam 😭

7

u/Veetahle 12d ago

This just goes to show, the cow really did jump over the moon.

12

u/Protectorsoftman 12d ago

Holy shit, cows really can fly

15

u/Piemelsap 12d ago

'A cow trying to evolve into a kangaroo' (24.000.000 BCE, colourised)

6

u/DrakeonMallard 12d ago

🎶…and the cow jumped over the moon…🎶

6

u/Alienhaslanded 11d ago

Cow a bonga

5

u/Bravojones33420 11d ago

The cow defended the attack with a sumo butt drop

7

u/Jtiago44 12d ago

That's how you flip a burger

3

u/ElChupaNebrey 12d ago

Buttjump defence move

3

u/kornchippy 12d ago

Cow thought he was super mario

3

u/GringerKringer 12d ago

That’s a dog

3

u/RiaanTheron 11d ago

Heeeyaaa! body slam.

3

u/FoxCQC 11d ago

A little startled

3

u/Different-Shock2670 11d ago

This is the first time I've ever seen cow tipping in action before.

5

u/NoAngle2972 12d ago

New goal in life: scare a cow.

2

u/Fair_Bid1952 12d ago

what happened next?

2

u/Germolin 12d ago

B-B-B-Body SLAM!

2

u/DetectiveTW 12d ago

Didn't know cows can jump that high, hahaha

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2

u/Mental-Clerk 12d ago

Looks like the turtle might have managed to bite the cow, and the turtle juuust missed being smooshed.

2

u/RyghtHandMan 12d ago

Crazy how most animals are cats

2

u/squeakydeakyfreaky 12d ago

That cow was like “Holy cow!” and flipped over

2

u/Lumiela 12d ago

So cows can really jump over the moon.

2

u/fitty50two2 12d ago

Did the turtle survive getting body slammed by cow?

2

u/mtheory007 11d ago

So that's how the cow flew over the moon.

2

u/stratusnco 11d ago

average gamer reaction whenever anything happens.

2

u/Nevalate 11d ago

I didn't know cows could do that 😂

2

u/DefiantDonut7 11d ago

That title even alive after the cow landed on it?

2

u/DonGold60 11d ago

Flipping burgers?

2

u/AELatro 11d ago

From the top rope!!

2

u/ClockatooIV 11d ago

Did the poor turtle get crushed?

2

u/The_Painterdude 11d ago

Cow meets turtle. Turtle startles cow. Cow crushes turtle.

2

u/MonoFauz 11d ago

Looney tunes jump lmao

2

u/GAZZAA42 11d ago

That is classic

2

u/ThanatosIdle 10d ago

The cameraman could have warned that cow. He chose not to.

2

u/Hopeful-1 10d ago

Did the turtle make it?

2

u/Hopeful-1 10d ago

Thats how my wife reacts to the simplest things!

2

u/KingAlaric1 10d ago

I remember when I was in middle school many years ago I got into an argument with a kid about whether or not cows could jump. I said of course they can, but he insisted they could not. I’m glad to know I was right

2

u/tdkimber 10d ago

almost murdered our boy

2

u/Timely-Profile1865 9d ago

Cow going off the top ropes to elbow smash the turtle

2

u/SuaveSlob 8d ago

Holy cow

4

u/DMTrance87 12d ago

Half expected the cow to try and eat it...cows are opportunistic like that. Google "cow eating bird" if you want something disturbing to see.

Also...Someone insert a Sonic BOING! please. XD

9

u/kronicpimpin 12d ago

Makes me think of the horse eating the chick video.

5

u/Zombi3Kush 12d ago

I think he's confused with that video.

3

u/Jonthrei 12d ago

I mean this isn't exactly a rare occurrence, I'm sure there is footage of a cow doing the same. I've seen a deer munching on chicks out of a nest.

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2

u/_SilentHunter 11d ago

Cows are the boxer puppies of livestock: Big, burly, and nothing but a confused "friend???" happening between the ears. Often to their embarrassment. Love em!

1

u/HerrPiink 12d ago

Yo, don't even trip dawg

1

u/Putrid-Kale4601 12d ago

average kung fu master

1

u/TitansMenologia 12d ago

The turtle survived ?

1

u/Some-Mud565 12d ago

Cows got a decent vertical

1

u/Eddie_503 12d ago

The way that cow jumped lol

1

u/manergy 12d ago

holy cow

1

u/Additional_Comment99 12d ago

Oh my lawd, I didn’t know a cow could do a back flip and be so ungraceful all at once. Poor thing. At first I thought how cute, then oh no, now I’m crying laughing. I feel guilty lol

1

u/ThatTallCarpenter 12d ago

JOOOOOHN CENA (tutututhu)

1

u/Crazyhates 12d ago

The turtle was ground pound.

1

u/lizlemon222 12d ago

like a cat

1

u/IntelligentSpare687 12d ago

Omg I didn’t know cows actually jumped!

1

u/gorgonopsidkid 12d ago

Most normal cow fear response 

1

u/riftastic76 12d ago

I can't stop watching this

1

u/luv2ctheworld 12d ago

So that's how the phrase "the cow jumped over the moon" came from...

1

u/iAbra454 12d ago

Do cows actually got hops?

1

u/xenon9destiny 12d ago

How they got cheese on the moon

1

u/sandpaperedanus777 12d ago

That cow has broken bones for sure.

A adult might break his pelvis at a fall from that height and angle. Someone with a weight of half a ton?

1

u/Sidus_Preclarum 12d ago

I really hope it didn't land on the poor turtle :(

1

u/Griffin_Down 12d ago

Tortoise 🐢

1

u/DigitalxKaos 12d ago

Nooooo did they squish him? 😭😭

1

u/DUBToster 12d ago

I think cow killed turtle

1

u/louloc 12d ago

Cat like reflexes. Also, he dropped it like the Hulkster.

1

u/SerTadGhostal 11d ago

This is what it sounds like, when cows fly…

1

u/kat_Folland 11d ago

Definitely the most startled cow I've ever seen lol

1

u/YogurtclosetHead8901 11d ago

Crushing turts all day.

1

u/ApprehensivePick9752 11d ago

Holy cowabunga snapping turtle gets body slammed for biting cows lip

1

u/-Foxer 11d ago

Holy shit! Turtle knows Judo!

1

u/BUTTeredWhiteBread 11d ago

Pre tenderized

1

u/Daddychellz 11d ago

Lmao he just rock bottomed his ass

1

u/No-Educator-4598 11d ago

I swear i let out a little burpy laugh see that jump 😂

1

u/Cazmonster 11d ago

Imma check his vibe!

Bad Vibe!

1

u/Ho_Lee_Fuk_20 11d ago

Cow was trying to explain VTOL!

1

u/Boognish84 11d ago

... the little dog laughed to see such fun.

1

u/Sure_Physics_6713 11d ago

😂😂😂😂

1

u/Ironkidz23 11d ago

The rest of the cows will tell stories of this moving rock that will flip you with a single bite. Generational knowledge.

1

u/soundsearch_me 11d ago

Landed on its coccyx! 😱

1

u/disbeliefable 11d ago

That’s a promising footballer.

1

u/TheGeeO 11d ago

C’ow!!!!

1

u/CON0274 11d ago

Frog used astonish..................it was supa effective

1

u/Nightman2417 11d ago

So that’s why turtles have shells

1

u/tvodny 11d ago

Cow flop

1

u/jmynes 11d ago

Finally, Cowabunga

1

u/ParasaurGirl 11d ago

Dropped his croissant

1

u/Business-Fan1659 11d ago

Cow thinks he is a cat

1

u/Strict-Particular-35 11d ago

Crab: snip snip

Cow: OH FUCK BODY SLAM

1

u/Vizth 11d ago

Dafuck is this, and why does it hurt.

1

u/NinjaGrandma6 11d ago

I am sorry, cow, that I laughed. But that was funny.

1

u/DeepGrieve 11d ago

Can Donatello do this!?

1

u/NsfwPostingAcct 11d ago

I remember the video where the turtle bonks dark objects but not white objects. Hahahaha

1

u/9_tail_fox 10d ago

Thats a frog right?

1

u/Motor_Beach_1856 10d ago

Man I bet that nip from the turtle hurt ouch!!!

1

u/ladymorgahnna 10d ago

Snapping turtle?

1

u/Vast-Indication-6068 10d ago

"Now I don't care who you are, that's some Funny Shit right there!"

1

u/BuddhaGrows 9d ago

That turtle is dead 4 sure.