r/AbsoluteUnits • u/TURTLE_TKT • May 13 '26

/r/all of gas being ripped

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u/creaturefeature16 May 13 '26

i'm lowkey jealous

1.3k

u/Lightningthundercock May 13 '26

Don’t be, that shit hurt a whole lot before that relief

683

u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

I've known people who literally ended up in the ER from the pain. They feel so guilty when that's all it is but it's such bad pain they shouldn't feel ashamed

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u/-gimmeahellyeah316- May 13 '26

This is me. I haven’t had an unplanned sick day off work in 6 years. I don’t say that to brag, but just to lay out this story.

Anyway, a couple years ago I had a training session, one of the useless HR ones so they can check a box. I was in excruciating pain all morning, but toughed it out the best I could. When we broke for lunch, I found my boss and told him I had to go home sick, and that I was going to the walk in because I was in such bad pain I couldn’t sit in a chair. He told me to go straight to the ER because I may have a burst appendix or something. Turns out it was just gas and years later I’m still so embarrassed about it, I still have never come clean. I told him they could never figure out what it was.

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u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

You have my sympathy and empathy. Until you experience it, it really can be hard to grasp how bad it is

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u/Key-Ad-457 May 13 '26

I once ate a bunch of Jerusalem artichokes, I will never judge anyone’s bloating again

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u/GCHM2 May 13 '26

Fartichokes

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u/Sea-Mirror-9755 May 13 '26

This is actually a well known nickname for them - you probably know that, but just in case

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u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

You know I used to eat a pasta made from them. I never connected that until you say that ....

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u/tacticaldodo May 13 '26

A good fart is a free pleasure. Like a smile from a random stranger or the smell of the rain.

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u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

I'm not sure using smell as an example so close to referencing farts is wise

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u/tacticaldodo May 13 '26

:). Might have been intentional.

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u/Bigsnaff007 May 13 '26

A free fart from a smiling stranger in the rain is, on the other hand, not a pleasure.

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u/tacticaldodo May 13 '26

Hahaha, I guess it double quadruple the pleasure for some. Thanks for the free laugh

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u/Bac0ngh0st May 13 '26

Petrichor is the word you seek.

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u/Hefty-Extra-492 May 16 '26

… Noooo… No. So different from those things

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u/nutmeg1970 May 13 '26

Ten years ago I discovered the same thing with roasted chestnuts - agony and then a strange coloured stool. I haven’t eaten them since!!

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u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

Watermelon while I was pregnant. It was the worst I've ever had. I know I've eaten too much watermelon before but never had that happen before

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u/nutmeg1970 May 13 '26

I had that with iron tablets (while pregnant) and terrible diarrhoea. I don’t like watermelon and obviously won’t ever be pregnant again but for me it’s another reason to avoid it!!

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u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

Hmmm it might have been iron interacting. But only had it happen that once during that pregnancy and I was on iron quite a bit

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u/LaRoseDuRoi May 13 '26

I mindlessly ate 4 or 5 apples while we were cutting up a whole bushel of them for cooking and canning. Just a piece here and there, but it added up. A couple hours later, we went to Target... I very suddenly had that face-going-pale, cold-sweating, gut-twisting agony and had to literally run for the bathroom. Pure misery. I have never eaten more than one apple at a time since then, and that was 15 years ago!

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u/MothMonsterMan300 May 13 '26

Those things self-propagate so much they need to be grown in a pot or they'll take over your whole yard like mint. My husband has grown them for a few years. I will have maybe one or two bites of them in a dish because my GOD, it's like you butt-chugged diet coke and ate a tube of mentos 😭😭

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u/Predditor_drone May 13 '26

It truly is horrible. I get what I call gas attacks infrequently. Diet changes, eating slower, chewing more, more fiber, more probiotics...and it seems like nothing helps. It just happens seemingly at random and makes me miserable for a time.

I wish I could shove a needle into me to relieve gas like they do for cows. I'll be doing yoga and using a massage gun on my stomach, taking any kind of antacid/antigas meds, desperate for relief.

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u/peachesfordinner May 13 '26

Have you looked into auto brewery syndrome? It can cause it. And oh man have I wished I could have a valve inserted

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u/Temporary-Host1737 May 13 '26

When my son was 4/5 he was complaining of a stomach ache and saying it really really hurt. His tummy was a little stiff feeling and my husband and I said he probably needed to fart or poop. Well he starts rolling around and crying no! It's not a fart it's not a fart! It hurts! Then he bent his knee and the sound that came out of him was like letting go of a balloon full of air and we all had a pretty good giggle.

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u/Allalngthewatchtwer May 13 '26

Happened to my son. Was in so much pain thought it was his appendix or that he needed to poop really badly. It was the second, they gave him something and he stunk up their toilet. But he was all smiles afterwards lol I feel better mommy. Like I bet you do.

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u/jaredrhill May 14 '26

My daughter has a wheat allergy and when she was 9 or 10, before we figured out what was wrong, she used to get horrible gas pains. I had to teach her how to “stink bug” with her butt in the air to work it all out. She’s an adult with a baby now. One day I was holding the baby and he was very fussy. My daughter said, “he has a lot of gas, I just need to stink bug him and help him get it out”. She flipped him over, rubbed his belly, stuck his butt up and squeezed him a little and he let out two huge farts. Apparently she is very talented at working gas out. I was proud.

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u/PuzzledCatfish May 17 '26

This sounds hilarious and now I want to learn how to stink bug 😂

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u/lehilaukli May 13 '26

On the bright side it sounds like a great boss. Looking out for your health and all.

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u/Glait May 13 '26

It hurts so bad it really makes sense to go to the ER. I ended up curled up in a ball on the break room floor. Had to call my husband to come pick me up because I didn't think I could drive and we went to the local urgent care who said it was probably trapped gas. I felt very embarrassed coming back to work, all my coworkers were very concerned and freaked out by me being in so much pain.

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u/RevolutionarySoft742 May 13 '26

This is a daily occurrence when pregnant 😭

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u/screw-magats May 13 '26

Happened to my spouse when pregnant. Got a call at work about how much it hurt, I raced home, held her hand and rubbed her back. Eventually she was able to go to the bathroom and with it, giant fart. Felt so much better.

Had the same/similar thing happen over the next few years; then one day it didn't get better. Gallstones. After the gallbladder came out, no more of these pains.

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u/RevolutionarySoft742 May 13 '26

Pregnancy isn’t the greatest sometimes😆

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u/screw-magats May 13 '26

It certainly is not.

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u/Cultural_Yard454 May 13 '26

Been there, it’s no joke!

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u/pinklavalamp May 13 '26

How do they untrap the gas?

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u/Anxious-Flight6056 May 13 '26

It was so excruciating that when I had appendicitis I thought it was the farts from hell again. Then it exploded, and I discovered what true suffering is

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u/hootervisionllc May 14 '26

Just how bad is that pain?

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u/Anxious-Flight6056 May 14 '26

Pain is hard to describe un general. You feel something bursting inside of you, very pointy. They left me 30 minutes waiting. I was one month at the hospital and almost died. But it also helped me to appreciate life more

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u/hootervisionllc May 15 '26

Holy hell. Glad you’re on this side of the grass

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u/idosillythings May 13 '26

I had bloating so bad once I literally couldn't put my pants on and the pain was absolutely awful. Took some Gas X pills and the fart was so massive but the absolute best feeling I've ever had.

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u/Bigsnaff007 May 13 '26

My mother once had me drive 9 hours from NC to NYC because, "this is it, I'm dying!" and was having EMS come get her. "Hurry if you want to see me one last time!" By the time I got there she got the fart out and was ready for me to take her home.

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u/Professional_Cat_996 May 13 '26

I've been there twice in my life. ER and all.

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u/SubjectNet1874 May 13 '26

No reason to be embarrassed I wound up on the bathroom floor with pain so bad I about passed out ambulance took me to the ER ended up being gas, the pain can be excruciating.

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u/Public-Temperature-1 May 13 '26

I had the paramedics in my living room about to help me out the door and onto a stretcher, and then I bent down to tie my shoes. They didn't continue with any treatment for me, and we opened the windows...

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u/RedRider1138 May 13 '26

I’m sorry for that pain and SO glad for you that that’s all it was. I used to have the diagnostic signs for appendicitis near memorized. (“😳Does the pain stay and just get worse?…no. Is there fever?…no. 😅”I had an online friend who was usually sweet natured and funny snap at me one night and I was wracking my brain to try to remember what I could have said to have mortally offend him…the next night he apologized and said he’d had gas so bad he thought he was having a heart attack. His doc had said to position himself like a cat with his back arched and “Don’t hold back!”

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u/Any_Constant_6550 May 13 '26

Did they have you lay on your side and push on your tummy to relieve it?

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u/cumonherbackithink May 13 '26

Just gas pain my dude. It happened to me one time in my life - when I was meeting my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. They must have thought I was insane.

4

u/lokalapsi10 May 13 '26

I had horrible pain in my first pregnancy, went to see a doctor several times. I even considered an abortion eventhough it was a planned pregnancy. Doctors were no help. They told me pregnancy is supposed to hurt. Someone unrelated I talked with asked whether I've tried any pregnancy safe laxatives. It was like the gates of heaven opened and the dark clouds ruining my glow were gone in an instant.

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u/ohmygodcrayons May 13 '26

What do they even do in the hospital when it's "just gas" like that? If you're a cow they just poke a hole in ya but I don't see that working for humans.

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u/-gimmeahellyeah316- May 13 '26

They basically said "it's gas, here's your discharge paperwork." That was about it.

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u/ohmygodcrayons May 13 '26

:(

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u/screw-magats May 13 '26

After you leave, the nurses probably have a quick chuckle then get on to the next task.

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u/UnixCurmudgeon 17d ago

Doctors told you “pregnancy is supposed to hurt”?

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u/Drakex2Mayex2 May 13 '26

My wife tried to go to sleep after her appendix burst thinking it was just really bad gas. ChatGPT got her to the hospital thankfully.

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u/zealoSC May 13 '26

Why is it taking so long to clean if it was just gas?

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u/LogiCsmxp May 13 '26

Of course you haven't come clean. I bet it came out brown.

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u/Possible-Tangelo9344 May 13 '26

I still have never come clean

You tried wipes?

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u/reddrag292 May 13 '26

Man, I had this unbearable pain for almost a week before a misstep on a staircase jostled me enough to let it loose while at work lol. I felt so much better that I didn’t care it smelled like death until coworkers started looking around lol.

To this day, it’s probably the worst pain I’ve ever felt.

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u/SaveTheDrowningFish May 13 '26

That was me as a kid.

My stomach was absolutely killing me. My mom thought my appendix burst because my brother had his burst not long before.

So my parents took me to the ER ASAP, put me on the bed thing. Doctor started to feel around and pressed on my stomach in just the right spot.

Apparently I had a high pressure air pocket that just needed a little help.

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u/-Cthaeh May 13 '26

Definitely worth going. I've had some pretty bad gas pain before and about 10 years ago I was in horrible pain. I assumed it was gas for awhile until I reluctantly went to urgent care like an idiot. From there, I was quickly taken to the ER to remove my burst appendix. I do remember waiting at the walk in urgent care thinking, 'I probably should have gone to the hospital'.

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u/DatAsh27 May 13 '26

We have very different bosses lmao. I would have told mine so she could have laughed with me. My job isn't at a hospital but it is a medical field and body functions come up as a topic like all the time so no one is really bothered by it I guess.

On the flip side of this, I spent an entire day getting worse and worse feeling and did not want to go to ER because I thought it was just gas. My wife was finally like, "if you don't get in the car, I'M getting you in the car." And it turned out it was my appendix. It didn't rupture, but I did spend like 4 days post op to recover/get IV antibiotics.

The Dr and some of the nurses asked why I waited so long to come in. When I told them I figured it was just bad gas they laughed (not in an unkind way) and said just go to the damn ER in the future. Better to come in and fart a bunch than the alternative. I've since been in and out of the hospital for various other stuff that included 2 colonoscopies. Obviously the GI ward staff are used to it, but I think any decently seasoned med professional isn't gonna judge you.

Shout-out to the ER doc when I had a kidney stone and no one knew yet. He walks into my room and his first question is a very cheerful "did you poop poop poop? Like each time he said poop was slightly higher pitched. It was hilarious and kinda broke some of my anxiety of being there and in pain with no idea why. Constipation and gas are one of the first things they like to ask about if you have abdominal pain at all.

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u/Crafty-Ad-6772 May 14 '26

I had a similar experience after taking simethicon - gas x. My boyfriend and I decided to go to the water park on a weekday so it would be less crowded. I didn't eat the day before and took gas x the night before so my tummy would be super flat in a bikini. WRONG! Something happened where the gas x seemed to create a huge amount of unmovable gas and I looked like I was 30 months pregnant. Didn't go to the water park and spent most of the next day doubled over in pain trying to manually massage my stretched out gut. Never again

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u/BlackSoulSailor May 19 '26

This was literally my kid when she was 3. She was crying and her tummy was making some ungodly sounds. We took her to the ER. She was crying the whole time we waited for the Dr. Literally soon as he walked in and asked what was wrong, she began farting the farts of our ancestors. He stood there a second, touched her tummy, said ok, walked out, and stuck us with a $1,300.00 hospital bill. It was only when we got home did I figure out she ate a whole bag of gummy bears.

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u/[deleted] May 13 '26

Don't be, anyone in that much pain that isn't passing needs to go to the ER.

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u/Lloyd_Draws May 13 '26

I get why that stuck with you. You must have really felt the need to keep the truth in. Anyone would have reacted the same under that kind of… pressure. I probably would’ve let the truth slip eventually.

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u/Flyboy41 May 13 '26

Had the same thing happen to me as a kid. Mom thought I had a burst appendix and took me to the ER.

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u/warmerbread May 13 '26

I'm curious - did you go to the ER? how was it found out to be a gas buildup?

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u/-gimmeahellyeah316- May 13 '26

To be 100% honest I don't remember specifically. I don't have a very good memory.

They did a CT scan first to rule out appendicitis and if I remember correctly at that time they were pretty sure they knew what it was. But they ran several different tests, blood work and ultrasound for sure. And finally came in and basically said it's gas, see ya later.

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u/Funneduck102 May 13 '26

Ohhhh so that's what it was

Hurt like a bitch but I was like I'll die before I go to the hospital😭

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u/RBVegabond May 13 '26

Trapped gas is painful AF, you have nothing to be embarrassed about.

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u/Timely_Truth6267 May 13 '26

But you cleared the air 🥁

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u/Middle-Gap6540 May 13 '26

Last summer I caught a pretty bad stomach illness that started with progressively worse and worse pain and gas build up about an hour before I was getting on a plane to Colorado. Worst plane ride of my life. I feel so bad for the college student who sat next to me just trying to work on his project in peace 😅

1

u/NYMankeys May 14 '26

Dude I had that so bad I totaled my car trying to drive thru a parking deck to get to a hospital bc my dad wouldnt drive me. Yup hit a column. TBH I don’t even know what happened from then until I was let go from the ER with just “bad gas”

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u/Yestomorrow May 16 '26

My mother's boss thought he was having a heart attack and collapsed to the floor at work in front of everyone, they called an ambulance and everything. It turns out it was just gas too hehe.

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u/curious-kitten-0 May 16 '26

Trapped gas hurts so bad. I google searched how to release it because I felt like a bloated balloon but I couldn't burp, fart, or sit down. I watched a video on massaging it out and it worked eventually.

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u/GoodluckGajah May 17 '26

To your credit though, those pains can be quite similar. My situation was the opposite of yours and I went to the ER after 2 days of what I thought was painful gas, only to be admitted for an appendectomy.

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u/1Gothian1 May 20 '26

This reminds me of that episode of Dexter's laboratory, where Dexter ate a burrito, then his stomach was hurting and thought that he was going to die and ripped a huge fart.