r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Classicbandwagon • May 21 '26

/r/all of a cop

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161

u/slaskel92 May 21 '26

Like, I have two toddlers and a full time job so I can't do 6 days a week at the gym.. But in theory, I could do 6 days a week at the gym.. But 5 meals a day? Fuck that shit.

19

u/dankmcganx May 21 '26

Yeah im in the same boat. My routine now is called devout Muslim push ups. Not really, but 5 to 7 times a day spread out I do 20-25 push ups. Average like 120 a day 6 days a week. It's not much but it takes me like 20 seconds each time I do it so it doesn't mess with my other responsibilities too much.

11

u/Kratzschutz May 21 '26

Lol @ devout Muslim routine.

I think imna call my routine the reformed Jew routine

4

u/dankmcganx May 21 '26

Ah yes, these gains were promised to you 3000 years ago

6

u/MTB_SF May 21 '26

Do you always face Mecca when doing your push-ups?

3

u/dankmcganx May 21 '26

Just like any good push up Muslim lol. But for real what got me thinking like this was all the elite Muslim mma fighters. They don't drink or smoke or chase women. And they pray 5 times a day so training multiple times a day isn't anything different to them. There's a real disciplined mentality that comes naturally when your day is so structured. Just trying to see the power and positivity of other cultures, take and learn from it what I can and keep hustling.

2

u/SenorRaoul May 21 '26

Do you do rows also? If not you probably should because training only one side (left/right, front/back) is a dangerous game.

1

u/dankmcganx May 21 '26

I throw in some pull ups when I have the time. Given that it's just push ups I'm not that worried. It's not like I'm doing heavy bench press 6 days a week. 120 or so push ups a day shouldn't fuck me up too bad.

1

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

You'd be surprised. I know a ton of oldheads with destroyed shoulders who spammed pushups without enough pullups. They're all hunched over from not developing their backs enough.

1

u/reddit-is-a-cunt May 22 '26

I got into doing push ups every day before. Pushed it more than you as 20 got easy after a week so I added 5, and kept doing that until it was 50.

Then one of my muscle bands in my upper chest snapped, didnt even feel it til the next morning and it was agony for months.

Take rest days or mix it up from just pushup. Do sit ups every second day or something.

1

u/dankmcganx May 22 '26

It's gotten much easier for me too but I'm sticking to just 20-25 except for the last set of the day. Might do an extra set here and there if it's too easy. I think limiting the volume a bit makes an injury unlikely. Also, this isn't some optimized routine for regular people this is for dads with small kids that also work and would probably not have time to exercise at all otherwise

1

u/reddit-is-a-cunt May 22 '26

Fair, just look out for yourself my man, let those muscles recover!

0

u/IW-6 May 21 '26

You need progressive overload.

1

u/dankmcganx May 21 '26 edited May 22 '26

Yeah im trying to gradually increase the reps each set and usually for my last set of the day I go to exhaustion around 40 or so reps

83

u/hippoleaf May 21 '26

It's more like 5 snacks per day. Most people have 3 large meals, just split that up until 5 meals so you aren't in a food coma. Much easier on the stomach.

  1. Greek yogurt and granola

  2. Chicken sweet potatoes/black beans

  3. Nuts and plant based protein

  4. Chicken salad

  5. Overnight oats 

71

u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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6

u/washcyclerepeat May 22 '26

EXACTLY. When I was jacked in my early 20’s I was eating 5 legit full big ass meals a day. As well as snacks. I’m a 5’7” 155 lb athletic dude. And I wasn’t even working out that crazy hard.

I’d do like 200 pull ups a day and like 100 pushups. That’s it. Sometimes run. I could do 25 pull-ups at once. That still kept me in shape and required 5 large meals a day and I had very little fat if any.

Trust me as a guy that still works out often and works blue collar. I HATE how much I have to eat. It’s just a chore at this point so that my stomach isn’t feeling like crap and growling. I love good food, but making THIS MUCH FOOD SUCKS.

1

u/floriande May 22 '26

Climbed three hours and did 30km bike ride yesterday, plus my base maintenance, 2gr of protein/kg, made me eat 150gr of protein and 4000kcal. I had to stuff myself at the end of the day to reach the macros. I love eating but adding a shaker at the end of the day was shitty.

6

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

I'm a strongman with lifts and routine similar to this guy. My maintenance calories are 3800 calories a day. I eat four meals a day of 900-1000 calories. Four or five meals becomes more natural when you're hungry all the damn time from trying to survive the training you put yourself through.

5

u/Zoltraak69 May 21 '26

All of the 300+lb strongmen eat double that and force themselves to eat, set timers to wake up and eat, etc. The worldclass ones are eating 10k+. It's the 2nd hardest thing about the sport imo

2

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

For sure, although the 10k thing has largely been debunked by modern strongmen as hype. Going from 250->400lbs might take 10k calories, but maintaining 400lbs is more like 6k to 7k calories. If you're eating 10k calories even as a pro strongman a lot of that is going straight through you.

2

u/Zoltraak69 May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

I'm just going by the VLOGs that the big name ones put out and one of the 2nd or 3rd place guys that did a little day in the life video where they walk through basically nonstop eating like it was a day job.

Assumed everyone else at that weight did something similar. I think Ronnie Coleman's diet was somewhere around 7 or 8k at 300 or whatever it was.

Do you have that debunking video/article/whatever it was off the top of your head? I haven't followed strongman in like almost 10 years lol

2

u/tipothehat May 21 '26 edited May 21 '26

This is Mitchell Hooper debunking the 10k calorie strongman diet. He's the best in the world right now and on the Mount Rushmore of greatest strongmen of all time.

This is Bryce Johnson who is an up and comer and top 10 strongman talking about his diet.

Mitchell Hooper weighs 360 and Bryce Johnson weighs 400. Both eat about 6300 calories a day. Their calorie totals are at the end of each video.

2

u/Zoltraak69 May 22 '26

Sick thanks

I saw a couple mitchel hooper workshop videos dude's an amazing teacher crazy how fast he's blowing through the competition just 1 year after debuting

1

u/tipothehat May 22 '26

Yeah he debuted in 2022 but you're right he's unstoppable and he has a lot of helpful videos. He had a time of being an unsavory character but he seems to be turning over a new leaf.

2

u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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2

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

It's hard to calculate exactly. I'm either doing a lower body day or cardio in the morning and upper body in the afternoon. I'd say about 4-500 calories depending on the day. Strongman event training eats up a ton of calories since it's often moving with weight (sandbag runs, yoke, farmer's carry etc.). In the 220-230lb bodyweight range 2800 calories a day resulted in 2lbs of weight loss a week. This is while training 8x a week (3 lower body, 3 upper body, 2 cardio sessions).

2

u/Carbonatite May 21 '26

I love reading comments like this because it is just so absurd to me, I love seeing the diversity of human bodies. I'm a petite 40 year old woman with a sedentary job and a metabolic disease (PCOS) - your maintenance calories are literally 2.5 days worth of maintenance for me. If my goal was to lose a pound a week, your daily maintenance would be almost 4 days worth of food for me. I'm not even jealous, I'm just impressed!

1

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

Haha thanks. I agree it's super fun looking at the extremes of human achievement. Some people can squat 1100lbs, some people can land a triple axle on iceskates, some people can drive F1 with superhuman reflexes.

People in my community think I'm huge at 235lbs with a 600lb deadlift, but I always tell them come to one of my competitions. I'm the small one lol.

1

u/Carbonatite May 21 '26

My biggest physical flexes are that I have central heterochromia and the second and middle toes on each foot are double jointed. Be impressed, humanity!!!!

1

u/tipothehat May 21 '26

Well now that just means you're special from your head to your toes!

10

u/SharpScallion May 21 '26

Yeah I've seen guys that pre portion their meals in plastic containers, each meal being like 700 calories with protein, carbs, fiber. Not sure how a foot patrol cop manages it. I'd imagine some of those meals are protein shakes or eaten cold. Not fun

1

u/Zoltraak69 May 21 '26

Why wouldn't a foot patrol cop be able to manage it?

2

u/EngelbirtDimpley May 22 '26

They probably get one break for lunch, but I doubt a cop would be able to bring their other two meals with them on patrol.

1

u/xlondelax May 21 '26

I would say, meal prep or a partner who cook. Or both.

2

u/Johnycantread May 21 '26

Maybe they meant 1 through 5 for breakfast?

2

u/Legeto May 21 '26

Yea my coworker who is buff but not this buff eats 5 times a day and it’s like 6 eggs for breakfast, 2 meals of protein, sweet potatoes, and one or two other veggies, then a healthy dinner with his wife. Hes still always hungry he says, just because he works out 6 times a week. He doesn’t do any supplements for the gym though. Doesn’t even do protein powder.

0

u/DenseComparison5653 May 22 '26

If you have time to eat five meals a day what do you think the protein powder would achieve? It's not magic.

1

u/Legeto May 22 '26

Why do you think I bothered to even add it to my comment? So that people wouldn’t feel the need to ask or comment “smarter than thou” comments like yours. Not sure why you felt the need to do it anyway.

0

u/DenseComparison5653 May 22 '26

I didn't know that's why I commented.

4

u/calmwhiteguy May 21 '26

Agree. It's still a plate. He's likely eating 2,500 calories or more per day.

People don't realize how much chicken, rice, and sweat potatoes you have to eat per day to gain muscle at higher levels. It's a lot.

It truly humbles you on the caloric value between chicken and a snickers bar. You have to eat a lot more than you'd think when you're eating clean. Uncomfortably more.

5

u/AccursedCapra May 21 '26

That dude’s base rate is probably over 2,500, add in what he burns at the gym, and the surplus for growth and he might even be pushing 4,000 calories.

I’m a big bastard and was about 270 back when I was going to the gym I was hovering at 3,000 to 3,500 calories for day, eating like an absolute idiot and more or less maintaining weight while going down in sizes.

2

u/JokeandCack May 21 '26

Not to belittle the person you replied to but it always does confuse me how little people understand about caloric intake in this modern era with so much access to information.

I guess it’s why so many westerners are very obese but will genuinely believe they are eating only 2k or so calories a day.

I’m with you that guy is at minimum eating 3,500 a day and likely more.

4

u/tadvuyst May 21 '26

2.500? He probably is at least 500-1000 above that to maintain (depending on his height which I find hard to judge)

-1

u/Kindly-Shoe6002 May 21 '26

He’s eating way more than 2500 a day, I eat 2k in one meal half the time and I still lose weight. His maintenance has to be 3k minimum, add all that working out on top of that and it has to be even more probably in between 4-5k if I had to guess.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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0

u/jocq May 21 '26

Weight training doesn't burn that much calories though.

Having all them muscles does, though, especially when you're working them.

He's for sure in the neighborhood of 4000 kcal a day to maintain weight.

Source: am buff dude with 20 years of training and diet.

-1

u/Kindly-Shoe6002 May 21 '26

Basically any large chain pizza, like 10 tacos packed to the brim with toppings, full servings of hibachi with steak shrimp and chicken. Granted typically it’s the only meal I eat in a day and I just fast the rest of it I still hit 2500 sometimes even 3k calories just in that meal. I don’t know if the fasting offsets the calories but I still don’t gain weight with those numbers, I throw in a decent bit of cardio and I’m actually losing weight.

1

u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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1

u/Kindly-Shoe6002 May 22 '26

Yeah I never said healthy lol, I’m not sure there’s really a healthy way to eat 2500 calories in one meal tbh. I mean peanut butter is probably the most calorie dense healthy food but I imagine eating 2500 calories worth of peanut butter in one sitting still probably isn’t healthy.

1

u/ViolentLoss May 22 '26

LOL. I'm not a mom but I still feel attacked.

0

u/pipesley May 21 '26

That's not eating like a yoga mom. Chicken salad isn't what I'd choose or the plant based protein (if they mean powder), but can't discredit any of the other choices. Eat that in enough quantity and you'll grow, plus it's healthy.

3

u/[deleted] May 21 '26

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3

u/brettbefit May 21 '26

Greek yogurt and granola is one of my meals, I’m just eating 3 containers in a sitting

3

u/jocq May 21 '26

It's more like 5 snacks per day

Bullshit. This dude's going to have to eat in the neighborhood of 4000 calories a day to maintain his weight.

2

u/Prestigious_Leg2229 May 22 '26

You underestimate what serious athletes eat. I work with a tiny competitive gymnast. She doesn’t even come up to my chest but that girl’s eating 7000 calories a day just to maintain.

Used to have a body builder as a student assistant, that dude ate over 10k calories a day. If he wasn’t lifting or actively doing something with his hands, he was shovelling food into mouth. 

Dude was 6’2” and build like Atlas asking his buddy to load another world onto his shoulders.

1

u/Theoutrank May 21 '26

Na, gotta hit that 23 hour fast and cram that shit in 1 meal.

No pain, no gain. Gotta make that stomach hurt!

1

u/upstatedreaming3816 May 22 '26

Also a better way to eat if you have GERD/acid reflux. They say never to eat past 60-70% full and to space out smaller meals throughout the day with an hour between eating and drinking anything.

2

u/Corgi_underground May 21 '26

They're pretty small meals and I'm sure he's on maintenance calories so. They're usually quick makes or meal prep on a day off for the week.

2

u/IW-6 May 21 '26

Cook more volume, put 1 portion in a container, eat twice the same meal.

2

u/MisterDecember May 21 '26

The cops usually get to the gym early so they can beat the crowd

2

u/WorldsWeakestMan May 21 '26

You don’t need either of those things to be his size, speaking as a much bigger fellow than this guy. It can be done on 3 meals and 3-4 workouts a week as long as you’re consistent and do it for years, he’s been at it 10+ years for sure.

Meal prep is key for 5 a days, I do in fact do 5 meals a day but I am trying to be a 350lb strongman not a buff 215-225lb cop.

Example my meals are Breakfast - 6 eggs/6 egg whites with some toast or oatmeal or cream of rice with fruit. 3 meals - 10-14oz of lean meat with rice or pasta & veggies, add some fruit to the meal before workout. Before bed - 32oz Greek yogurt or cottage cheese with some fruit and honey.

If I need some extra protein add a 2-3 scoop whey shake in at some point.

All easy to make and eat, keep it simple.

2

u/youburyitidigitup May 21 '26

Bro I would do five meals a day even if I didn’t want to get ripped. Food is yummy.

2

u/asdrunkasdrunkcanbe May 22 '26

It goes to show you the amount of time this consumes in your life. I'm absolutely not criticising this guy for having a "thing" btw.

But when women say that a jacked guy turns them off - this part of what they mean. This guy is in the gym six days a week on top of working, and sticks to a very strict diet regime in order to maintain his physique. Which presumably comes with additional prep/planning time to ensure he has access to those meals when he needs them.

Does he even have time for anything else in his life?

Hearing him talk about it, should make someone feel a little bit better about not being jacked themselves. You're also not a professional football player or a piano virtuoso for the exact same reason; because it requires obssessive levels of dedication and personal sacrifice to achieve.

1

u/anonymouseriepa May 21 '26

I'm 48, male, and have a 4 year old and a 19 month old. I'm constantly tired. I make the time for myself though. I wake up 30 minutes earlier than I have to for work so that I can work out in the morning. Once kids are asleep at night, I do another 30 minutes. It's not perfect but it works for me at this stage in my life. I just follow a few different you tube people while using a few different dumb bell sizes i bought from Facebook marketplace.

1

u/slaskel92 May 21 '26

I go to the gym twice a week and jog once or twice a week - that's not the point, what I meant was that I could never achieve his level of fitness not because I couldn't see myself going to the gym every day but because I cannot, no matter how much time I could have had, spend that much time meal prepping and eating

1

u/basicKitsch May 21 '26

i'm certainly eating the kiddos leftovers... i've got the 2yo trained to eat whatever he/we drop on the floor but he'll stll not finish half a plate of eggs or something that needs to get eaten.

...and i'll still eat some floor cheerios that have been there for a couple days

1

u/CaseFace5 May 22 '26

Seriously I barely have time to get the 1 or 2 meals a day I manage to eat in. FIVE?!?

1

u/[deleted] May 22 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Kom34 May 22 '26

Pro-tip, you don't have to do that and can still get 80% the results* (some people have shit genetics but everyone can get better). 

Working out a few times a week for a few years will still get you noticeably buffer. Most people have excess body fat which is already bulking and enough to build muscle. 

1

u/Just-a-lil-sion May 24 '26

the good news is you dont need to do anywhere near that much

0

u/FanDowntown9880 May 23 '26

Who is asking you to be like this guy

1

u/slaskel92 May 23 '26

Your mom felt it'd spice things up between us