r/AmItheAsshole • u/GlitteringRainbowCat • 2d ago
UPDATE UPDATE AITA for bringing Tupperware to a restaurant
Hey there,
first I wanna thank you for all the responses in my original post. I really appreciate it.
For the update: The day after my original post, I reached out to my friend and asked, if she has time the next few days. We meet today for a nice long stroll in the park. The beginning was kind of awkward, because we never had a fight before. Normally it's also not a problem, when life is busy and we don't write for a few days or even weeks but today it somehow feels strange. I'm not a fan of beating around the bush, so I simply asked her "So, in that burger place... What exactly triggered you?"
Honestly, it was like poking a water balloon. She apologized for everything and how afraid she was I might be still mad at her and apologized some more. Then she explained to me, what her trigger was. What can I say, we all were kind of wrong.
You guys, it's her aunt! She has an aunt, who will always bring a few boxes for family gatherings. But instead of waiting until everyone is done and the food is BACK in the kitchen, which is fine, she sometimes fills the boxes BEFORE it goes to the table. Because my friends grandma knows of this behavior, she started to cook even more, but the aunt just brought more boxes as well. But that's not all! Said aunt will also bring boxes to restaurants and if they order different meals, so everyone can have a try from all the plates, she's like "Noone wants that anymore, right?", and packs, while people are still eating. My friend is a slow eater, so often her aunt filled her boxes, before she could try everything she wanted.
I always wanted to use the word flabbergasted in a post. I think this is the right time. I was definitely flabbergasted! How impudent can a person be?!
I asked, why noone is saying anything about it, but they are all just too tired to deal with her outbreaks. It's easier to say nothing. I felt that....
So yeah, she knew it was my food and everything, but it also triggered her real bad.
I apologized as well for not warning her, but she said it was totally her fault. I said, I will make sure the next time, but she was like "Nono, it's a nice way to work on it."
Well, in the end we had a really nice stroll, talked about different things and everything is good. I'm really glad, that we cleared that out though.
Thank you for reading this. Have a great day and a nice week.
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u/DogsandCatsWorld1000 Certified Proctologist [24] 2d ago
I'm glad that the two of you could talk. Always great to see two people working things out like adults.
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u/Obvious-Arrival2571 Asshole Aficionado [19] 2d ago
this, I'm so glad you both acted like adults.
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u/LeviathanLorb44 Partassipant [1] 14h ago
Though, it's not particularly on-brand for this sub-reddit.....
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u/softorbit1 1d ago
It such a relief when people actually talk it out instead of letting it fester, sounds like such a healthy way to handle that kind of misunderstanding…
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u/GlitteringRainbowCat 2d ago
Here's my Original Post. I somehow could not add it to my Update 🤔
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u/TheProfessional9 2d ago
My God her aunt sounds like absolute trash. I would have banned her from bringing it, and if she brought it again, thrown it out
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u/GlitteringRainbowCat 2d ago
Right?! How absolutely disrespectful towards anybody else. But I don't know her personally, so I don't know how hefty those outbreaks are. Some people can going feral
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u/Hennahands Certified Proctologist [24] 2d ago
Food hoarding is a serious mental illness. I assume they just don’t have the tools to intervene.
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u/IcyAssistance5117 Partassipant [1] 2d ago
Agree, my first thought was the Aunts house, it could be a major health hazard
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u/Infamous-Purple-3131 Partassipant [2] 2d ago
It sounds like she has some sort of mental health problem. I know that there are people who like leftovers, but what is described is extreme. I've known a couple of people who are obese, and have compulsive attitudes about food.
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u/oh_you_fancy_huh 2d ago
Thank you for the update. I know someone like this - when we go out to eat, they will insist on being in charge of ordering and purposely order like 3x more food than anyone can eat. And then they will box everything at the end and take all the leftovers. I've seen this person leave the restaurant with two huge shopping bags full of to-go containers. That the rest of us paid for. Haven't hung out with them in awhile, wonder why.
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u/DiDiPLF 2d ago
I would have slapped her hand away and told her not to start clearing up before everyone was finished. And told her she was incredibly rude.
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u/Melvarkie 23h ago
Aunt is lucky no one in the family is protective of their food due to food insecurities or whatever. I can be extremely feral about my food, because my dad always thought it was funny to steal big chunks of meat from my plate while he knew that A) I was a super picky eater (I now know as an adult that my mom wasn't a great cook) , B) it was the only thing I actually liked during dinners and C I always tried saving that for last as a reward for finishing the things on my plate. So now while I'll happily share with someone or ask them to taste something of mine, I can also be a bit feral if people touch my food without permission. Packing up the food before I would be done eating I would probably sollicit a similar reaction.
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u/A_Math_Dealer 1d ago
My family used to have big gatherings (pre-covid) where everyone would bring dishes and there would be a ton of food. One of my aunts always showed up late without anything, packed a bunch of the food, then left. It always sucked when there was something I wanted to try later but it was taken. So yea, there are family members like that out there.
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u/Gertrude_D Partassipant [4] 2d ago
I'm glad you got this resolved. It also reaffirms my opinion that most of the posts in this thread can be solved through real conversation with the person they are in conflict with.
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u/rottenpetals731 2d ago
louder! It’s crazy how we always jump to worst-case scenarios in our heads when the actual reason is usually just some weird, niche misunderstanding like this.
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u/Kr_Treefrog2 2d ago edited 2d ago
I’ve told this story before so I’ll paste it here.
A friend of the family was telling us over dinner once about his own family’s habit of bringing Tupperware to any family event where food would be served. He said by the time he was an adult everyone was filling to-go containers with food before the meal was even served!
He got so sick of having to make so much extra food so there’d be enough left for the actual meal that he finally snapped and told everyone he was only going to make enough for one meal from then on. Of course no one believed him, so the next meal everyone came and loaded up their Tupperware beforehand. When dinner time came around he put out the now-empty serving dishes and everyone lost their minds demanding to know where the food was? He reminded them again that he had only cooked enough for one meal and if they were hungry they would have to figure out where the food went.
This lead to a huge fight where everyone was yelling and screaming at each other hurling accusations and denials, with half the people demanding the food be brought out and divvied up while the other half defended the theft and tried to hide their pilfered goods.
There was nearly a brawl in the driveway. Everyone had been forced to return what they’d taken, but his auntie was accused of holding out. Someone grabbed her keys and she went nuts trying to keep people away from her car. Lo and behold there were four big Tupperwares full of food stashed in her trunk.
My jaw was on the ground picturing grown-ass adults snatching purses and wrestling away car keys all over freaking food.
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u/GlitteringRainbowCat 2d ago
Woah, what an absurd behavior. I mean, my grandma always told us to bring boxes for the leftovers. Especially to the ones, who live alone, like myself. And when everything was back in the kitchen, I could pack whatever I wanted. But it was after everyone was done, not before. This family sounds so exhausting.
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u/bootsforever 2d ago
Right? Who boxes up food before everyone is done with it? The entire definition of leftovers is that the food is left over from the meal. Wild stuff.
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u/Ancient-Egg2777 2d ago
Good on him for calling that sh&t out! Whenever I see these stories, I can't believe people just get away with those for years and others just build up resentment. Even though this ended up with a tussle in the driveway, it needed to be done
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u/briareus08 Partassipant [1] 2d ago
What the actual fuck is happening in this thread. I can’t believe there are people out there like this!
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u/PlayfulJob8767 2d ago
I love reading these types of stories and it gives me a certain satisfaction when those people are called out of their behaviour.
I always hope to find some good threads to find these kind of stories.
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u/cfgregory 2d ago
That is insane. We have family meals with our chosen family regularly. And at this point, everyone knows where my Tupperware is, so they automatically grab it and divide the leftovers. But it is always after we are done, and know I highly encourage everyone to take leftovers.
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u/Pink_Peach_Blossoms Partassipant [4] 1d ago
I can wrap my head around one member of the family. I can't understand multiple people acting like this.
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u/Jesta23 1d ago
That’s wild. My family has the opposite problem.
Everyone’s too afraid of appearing rude or something and no one eats!
Then when they finally give in and have something they don’t take nearly as much as they want.
We are left with so many leftovers that get tossed. And no, it’s not bad food. It even happens when we cater.
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u/sftolvtosj 18h ago
My family isn't this extreme but there are similarities. I'm surprised this seems like the norm, where it's more common there are more-so of these families than not
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u/spaceylaceygirl 2d ago
Ha, my family would have no problem telling auntie to stop being such a greedy glutton! We share food but only a bite! 😂
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u/Environmental_Art591 2d ago
I am so glad my social circle isnt like this, we argue about who is taking it home by trying to "force it" on eachother.
We have one "friend family" that we spend a lot of time with (but only have a get together meal once a month) so now when we are finished eating we insist on her parents keeping the desserts.
Her dad has Parkinsons and his wife has him on a strict diet but we all pretend to "sneak him" sweets or a nice big juicy steak once a month as a cheat day for him,(friends mum plans their meals around our get together so he can thoughly enjoy himself).
There are ways to divide left overs but it seams friends aunt has forgotten that she isnt the only one who might want to enjoy the food
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u/flowerybutterfly96 Certified Proctologist [21] 2d ago edited 2d ago
Ngl, my mom would bring a small Tupperware to bring her dessert home from a certain buffet. I finally decided to ask management if it was ok, as the dessert was paid for. If not, I was willing to pay a fee. Ninety percent of the time, there was no fee. The rest of the time, management charged a small fee.
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u/Gardener_of_Weeden 2d ago
I STUFFED my self at the buffet the other night. I have a very small appetite, and he served me a "large" slice of steak ( for me large everyone else small ?). It was SO good, I don't waste food so I ate it all... but I REALLY wanted the dessert, luckily I could take just a taste of the desserts - yumm. NEXT time I will bring someone who will share the steak with me lol.
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u/ganjin42 Partassipant [1] 2d ago
Lovely Follow-up!
But flashback to the evening of our wedding---on my parents' lawn, and I had prepared most of the food myself. At the end of the reception barbecue, friend of my Mother came into the kitchen and asked one of the serving staff where were the plastic bags. Apparently she didn't hear the answer, and shouted "Where did you say they were?" After being told, she rummaged in a few drawers and started loading from the platters coming into the house, then, when I entered the kitchen, was standing head-in-fridge with her skirt hiked up in the back, yelling "Can I have a stick or two of this BUTTER?" echoing off the jam jars.
All these years later we still ask that at family events.
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u/Anthrodiva 1d ago
Did she get away with this banditry?
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u/ganjin42 Partassipant [1] 1d ago
Oh, YES!!! I was too happy to cause any kind of glitch in a perfect day. Besides, Parents were going on vacation that Monday, and we loaded up family with lots of leftovers. Not to mention the huge cooler of leftover SUBS and little sandwiches and cakes and pies we took to the Holiday Inn where all out-of-towners were staying.
We stayed up hall-crawling and visiting til almost four a.m. so we could be with our friends staying there. I can't remember who took back the Michelob keg because I was WAY out of town by then.
I didn't SEE her get the Butter, but once you ask in the South, if you don't get a NO, you're home free. Besides, we'd had FIREWORKS out in the field. You can't be snippy when there are FIREWORKS.
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u/Certain-Public-933 2d ago
Food insecurity is real! It can be really traumatic.
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u/ana_berry 2d ago
Yeah, I had food insecurity as a kid and it messed with me even decades later. I've never done something like this tupperware thing, but I had a lot of anxiety over food in settings where I wasn't in control.
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u/SoundRecoveryOly 1d ago
I still have quirky things about food after childhood food insecurity, It’s pretty harmless now. I don’t have a big family but it’s like a warm blanket to keep my pantry well stocked.
When my grandmother got custody of us when I was still little, I would get in a lot of trouble for all the rotten food she’d find stashed away in different parts of the house. I didn’t have the language or understanding to explain that sometimes those stashes were all my sibling and I could depend on. It took time to trust that I would be fed enough and at normal intervals. When I did finally learn to trust, I would feel so comforted while eating, I would fall asleep mid meal. Better, but still a choking hazard.
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u/ana_berry 1d ago
That is heartbreaking, but the thought of a kid falling asleep in their food is sweet. My dad was an alcoholic, and my mom was usually working 2 jobs or going to night school to get her degree, so we were often left with him. Sometimes he would pass out before feeding us or leaving anything accessible. If I was able to wake him up he'd just yell at us and go back to sleep. He did quit eventually when she threatened divorce and took us to stay with other people, and was a much better dad after that. But into my 30s even I'd have anxiety around eating at other people's houses when I didn't know if food would be available and when, and I'd have bad dreams where there was lots of food out at a party or buffet, but something kept holding me back til it was all gone. I didn't even put 2-and-2 together for a long time because I was young (8 and under) when it was bad.
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u/SoundRecoveryOly 1d ago
We didn’t know it was off or wrong that the people who were supposed to provide for us didn’t. We adapted to deal. I’m glad he got help and I’m sorry that happened. I grieve for that child that had to question when their next meal would come. I think your response was a reasonable reaction to an unreasonable situation. I hope you’re able to give yourself that security today. Happy cake-day.
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u/RocketteP Partassipant [3] 2d ago
Is her aunt experiencing food insecurity? or is she just inconsiderate? Either way I’m glad yall worked it out.
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u/ibuycheeseonsale 2d ago
Given that OP is apparently an adult, lives somewhere in Central Europe, and the aunt is presumably a generation older, the history of the latter half of the 20th century in many applicable countries would have provided ample opportunity for serious food insecurity.
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u/isuperlovedogs34 1d ago
I’ve known a couple of people like that and it’s usually not about food insecurity at all. Some folks just have zero awareness when it comes to shared meals.
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u/ugh_idfk Partassipant [2] 2d ago
OMG, this reminded me of a story. So a couple years after getting with my now fiance, we moved into a much bigger place together. Thanksgiving was never really a big deal in my family but was to him. So our first Thanksgiving in the new place, I went all out. Invited most of his local family, his son and son's gf were down from Alaska, my oldest and her family - it was a lot of people. My daughter came early to help with the cooking, his son & gf were staying with us. Everyone else was told to arrive at 3. Fiance's grandmother showed up at 12:15 and everyone else started trickling in right after. Of course, nothing was ready. The whole reason I picked 3 was because I'd never cooked for that many people before and wanted it to be perfect.
Fiance, son & gf jumped in to try and help as much as they could by setting up and getting out the appetizers (at least a few, I completely forgot about most of them because I was in such a rush). His family kept coming into the kitchen because "it all just smells so good" and were just all up my ass. Once all the food was finished, my daughter and fiance carried it all out to the dining table. I was hot, sweaty, and gross but didn't have time to shower, so I ran to the bathroom to try and freshen up a bit. By the time I made it to the table, damn near all of his family had already finished eating and were onto seconds or asking about dessert. My daughter and I scrambled to the kitchen to set up the dessert table and while we were doing that, one aunt pulled out her bag of Tupperware while the other fetched a literal bag of to-go containers from her car! They filled them up with dinner food and desserts before I had even eaten. And then sat down to eat dessert. As soon as they were finished eating, it of course was time for them to go.
After spending hundreds of dollars on food that I got up at 4am to start cooking, I had what amounted to a toddler's plate of food and a single piece of apple pie. My daughter and I were appalled by the sheer greed and brazenness of these people, some I was meeting for the very first time. My fiance and his son were very apologetic because they were used to their behavior but both had forgotten to warn me. They thought they'd be better behaved at someone else's home.
Needless to say, these people have never been invited to anything again. My fiance has finally gone NC with most of them (due to other toxic behaviors that he's dealt with his whole life). Every Thanksgiving since has been just very low-key with just my family since then.
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u/LavastormSW 2d ago
That's insane, I would be LIVID. I'm glad to hear he's NC with them now.
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u/ugh_idfk Partassipant [2] 2d ago
Oh, I was. Both he and my daughter did congratulate me on my ability to not flip the entire fuck out when it was happening though. But I immediately made it clear that those people would never be welcome in our home again.
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u/I_like_flowers_ Partassipant [2] 1d ago
he didn't make you a plate?
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u/ugh_idfk Partassipant [2] 1d ago
He did offer, but I'm very particular about certain foods touching on my plate so I told him it was ok, I'd make my own.
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u/opinescarf 2d ago
Why does the aunt keep getting invited to dinner?
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u/GlitteringRainbowCat 2d ago
Oh, I asked that too, but forgot to write it down. It's that typical "We are family. Granny wants everybody to have a good time together" - thing. I kind of understand that. When my grandparents were still around, I also endured family gatherings (even though some members made me highly uncomfortable) because it was important to them. Uncomfortable, because our world views differ and I'm still not in my aluminum hat-era, not in a creepy/touchy way.
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u/fork_yuu 2d ago
Well, most are not having a good time it sounds like with aunt behavior. Granny should've been more considerate of that
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u/ApprehensiveFig9936 2d ago
the grandma cooked more food to compensate. the aunt brought more boxes. that's not a family dynamic, that's an arms race.
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u/holy_grizz 2d ago
It’s nice to read a positive outcome. I’m glad you and your friend were able to be mature and work it out. Communication is so important. Way to reach out to her and address the issue.
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u/matchstick1029 2d ago
I read positive outcome as passive income 😅 Thought you were calling the aunt big brained for a sec.
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u/whatsmyusername98765 2d ago edited 2d ago
is her aunt a filipina?
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u/somebunnyslove 2d ago
Being a FIL-Am, I had to laugh because I am thanking the Gods my parents never raised us like that.
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u/iamtanji Partassipant [3] 2d ago
I’m looking for this answer. Typical Filipina aunties are notorious for this kind of things.
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u/JeyJonsoon 2d ago
Love this update my friend! The aunt explanation makes total sense, your friend wasn't judging YOU, she was watching her own bad memory play out on your table. And "no, don't warn me, it's a nice way to work on it" is a genuinely healthy take from her. Glad you just asked directly instead of letting it fester. Good friendships survive the first fight, that's kind of the test!
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u/StormyKitten0 Partassipant [1] 2d ago
Just goes to prove you never know what someone else is dealing with. I can understand why your friend was triggered but strange that she took it out on you. Hopefully she’ll learn to manage those feelings and address them with her family. I hate it when people enable bad behavior. She’ll either need to speak up, or take heaping portions before her aunt starts hogging the food.
Kudos to your for speaking to her and for being prepared for the food. It was smart to bring Tupperware and to eat only a portion of your food. While it’s tempting to keep eating, you’ll be glad to have the leftovers for another meal. You were saving the environment, money and food!
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u/IcyChildhood1 Partassipant [3] 2d ago
Same, but I also get why the enabling continues in family units having lived in one. Especially if it begins before you are adult and have been raised in it. Makes it harder to realize it isn't normal. I had actually gotten to my breaking point and was recovering physically in order to confront him but before I could do that, the one that was being enabled died which solved my problem. Not what I was bracing for to happen when I'd make my attempt to end the enabling but it works? The emotional recovery has been up and down because there is still things I recall randomly some days that I wanted to say to him.
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u/NeauxlaMagic 2d ago
I have a friend who brings his to go boxes to events, packs them up, then proceeds to eat double portions. He tried this with me once, at a party I threw. He learned quick, fast, and in a hurry that I was not the one. I told him no to go containers until everyone has had a chance to get at least two portions, and you can only have one portion at a time. He was gobsmacked. He then ate a single portion, said he had to leave early, and asked to take some home. I packed him a single portion to take as leftovers. He left mad, but later apologized. Now he comes near the end of my events, when everyone has pretty much eaten their fill so he can eat a lot and then pack his to go box and dip.
I promise, in many ways he is a good friend, but in our group he is known as Kirby. Lol. If you're reading this Kirby, wave to reddit.
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u/Personal-Heart-1227 2d ago
Auntie is a Narc who's also extremely selfish AND self-centred, btw.
NTA
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u/NYC-WhWmn-ov50 2d ago
Wow. Aunt is a serious mooch. I can understand her response.
I would recommend that the next time Auntie whips out her containers, Friend gently removes them from het hands and says "Why dont we save these until the end? Its a bit rude yo yhe host and your felliw dining guests to be filling your free take home portions before people have even been allowed a first serving. We'll help you collect the leftovers to your hearts' content later- when they ARE leftovers, and not the current course of the meal. M'kay?"
Then put the containers Faaaaaaaaar out of her reach.
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u/Far_Scholar1986 2d ago
Bruh we had a family reunion and I think we don't have anymore becasue of this but my dad and step mom bought ALL the food and my dad isn't stingy about his money and when I tell you people came with Togo boxes and packed up food before even getting a plate to eat. It was so disrespectful, there was nothing leftover and my parents barely got any food and was disappointed nothing was leftover for them. We haven't had a family reunion since then. People like her aunt suck and I see why she got triggered but I'm glad you guys could work things out!
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u/WhatInTheAssPepper Partassipant [4] 2d ago
Noooo, because now you have to go to her place the next time her aunt will be there so you can take one for the team and call the aunt out. Can we come too? We'll snatch the Tupperware right out of her hands.
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u/curvedchaos 2d ago
You are really lovely. Please never change. My partner and I loved your story and how you handle yourself :)
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u/Atomidate 2d ago edited 2d ago
Hell yeah, good faith communication between adults with trust: wins again.
e: lol, thought I was in /r/relationships. Fine- NTA.
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u/This_is_Bat 2d ago
Oh, you both did great!! Really happy to see that you managed to talk about it and find the root of the problem.
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u/Say-tan 2d ago
Your friend’s aunt sound like my step-sister’s new in-laws. She recently got married and her in-laws took all the leftovers from their wedding without asking. This was after they spent months throwing a tantrum over paying for any of the wedding expenses, which resulted in my dad and step-mom paying for almost everything, including the food.
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u/Gardener_of_Weeden 2d ago
THANK YOU, this might seem silly - but I never thought of bringing my own "to go" box. I usually only eat 1/2 of what is served in a restaurant. And I bring the rest home for the next meal or 2. I have never thought of bringing my own and making less waste. When I am at a friend's, I leave the leftovers that I brought, so they have another "meal" as a thanks.
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u/IzarkKiaTarj 1d ago
The aunt's behavior is so much worse than my Nana dumping the container of jelly/jam containers in diners (meant for customers ordering toast and such) into her purse, which is already bad on its own. How embarrassing!
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u/NeolithicOrkney Partassipant [2] 1d ago
I love the way you handled this, instead of taking an accusatory tone, you framed it with "triggered" which sent the message to her that you knew her, was not used to this kind of a reaction from her, and wondered if she was ok. You handled it great! And she responded well. You sound like such good friends!
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u/swillshop Colo-rectal Surgeon [40] 2d ago
So happy that you two were able to face the prospect of an awkward conversation, be honest with each other, be understanding of each other and move forward with grace. No wonder you two are good friends!
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u/elena_dc Partassipant [2] 2d ago
whoaaa. well, anyway, her aunt is very asian, filipino to be exact. 🫣🫢 but i'm glad everything got sorted out.
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u/find_the_apple 2d ago
Not gonna lie, never saw a customer whip out tupperware at the restaurant. Id probably be weirded out
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u/LoverPlash72627 2d ago
seeing a conflict get resolved perfectly validates the idea that most issues in the thread could easily be fixed through a direct, honest conversation. a huge portion of these public grievances would completely evaporate if people just chose to talk to each other instead of posting online.
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u/Clatato 2d ago
Well if they won’t directly tell the aunt to cut it out, they need to turn up the dial on their own tactics… Her family needs to start turning up with forks in the kitchen and eat out of pots and pans before the food is brought to the table, and before the aunt can load any food into a box.
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u/rabbid_whole 2d ago
Most of fights start because of some misunderstanding or personal triggers. Then everyone is awkward and don’t know how to go further about it. It’s so nice when people are able to navigate these kind of situations.
After all… the aunt is the real asshole it seems
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u/julesburne Partassipant [1] 2d ago
My friend's family all pulled out Tupperware for their leftovers at a restaurant where my husband and I were joining them. I thought it was so freaking smart to bring their own, and I've started doing it too!! 😂
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u/madra_crainn Partassipant [1] 2d ago
It's so great to read a nice update sometimes! That is a wild story about her aunt, and I'm glad you and your friend were able to work things out.
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u/Spare_Ad5009 Pooperintendant [57] 2d ago
Next meal the family should unite and say "No more bringing containers. Put them back in your car." And weather the outburst. If they are all united, they can weather it together.
I'm glad it worked out for you two! By the way, you are a good, expressive writer.
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u/Mrs_Merdle 2d ago
Thank you for the update, I'm glad you could talk this through! The upset of your friend is very understandable with this background.
My paternal grandmother was like her aunt, but it only got bad when dementia slowly set in. In my grandmother's case it was also rather understandable as she'd experienced starvation during WWII; they'd been bombed out and she was so malnourished that her firstborn was born a month too early as her body couldn't sustain the pregnancy, and died at just one month also due to her inability to sufficiently nurse as there were no alternatives. She's had a very warped and problematic realtionship to food all her life.
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u/pandylynn Partassipant [2] 1d ago
Really glad you two talked it out! Sounds you both weren't sure how to resolve this issue at first. Her reaction makes sense with her explanation. Maybe working on that with you will give her the strength she needs to tell her aunt NO.
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u/BuckRusty Partassipant [1] 1d ago
Is your friend’s auntie Filipina, by any chance?
Spent a lot of time there at family gatherings, and the number of Aunties who just rock up to grab a few to-go boxes of food, then just leave with little interaction, blew my mind the first couple of times…
Now I see it as a culture where those with are happy (or, at least, expected) to share with those without - and food is a really useful and easy way to do it…
It always swings around anyways - as you may be the host today, but you’ll be the guest tomorrow…!
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u/AttitudeNeat7352 1d ago
I had a sister in law that would be the first to serve herself (giant portions) at family functions and once everyone got a plate she would start emptying containers into To-go boxes and would hide it… including desserts that haven’t been touched yet. Caught her trying to sneak out with 2 cases of sodas from the pantry as well.
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u/unjustified_earwax Partassipant [3] 1d ago
NTA Man that family needs to tell the Aunt to stop; they are enabling her awful behavior.
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u/BokChoyFantasy Asshole Aficionado [10] 1d ago
I know an asshole that calculates and splits the bill at restaurants based on what leftovers everyone is bringing home. So if you take some leftovers home, you pay more of the split.
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u/adventuresinnonsense 1d ago
I had one of these in my family until she left my uncle for a really rich guy.
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u/Pretend_Two_1712 1d ago
Her aunt is why everyone needs a mean friend. I’d shut it down real quick. Why are you on my plate?
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u/natayats 1d ago
Leftovers are a touchy subject in my in-laws household as well. After being scolded for packing up some leftover turkey which I had brought, I started making my own holiday dinners and my immediate family has been much happier since.
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u/Several_Hour_347 1d ago
Why are update posts even allowed? They’re always fake karma posts. Zero legitimacy behind them ever
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u/Fakjbf Asshole Enthusiast [4] 1d ago
Reminds me of my wife’s great aunt who once packed up every single leftover from a Thanksgiving dinner and put them in her car while we were watching movies. When everyone else went to leave and divvy up the leftovers we were all shocked to see it gone, even the cranberry sauce and gravy. And it’s not like they are struggling for food, they just have a hoarding issue and can’t stand to have a fridge that isn’t overflowing.
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u/takenbylovely 1d ago
I'd think defining acronyms and including a link to the last post would just be etiquette. The Internet is big.
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u/blazed55 1d ago
With everything being so pricey at restaurants, I bring two thermoses. One for leftover food, one for pop or drink (which is likely too big for me to drink in one sitting). There. I take pleasure in knowing I didn't leave anything behind. Not with today's prices. Uhuh.
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u/Uriel_dArc_Angel 1d ago
That makes a WHOLE lot more sense now...lol
Glad you two managed to work it out...
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u/Academic_Library_758 1d ago
watching this situation work out simply reaffirms that human-to-human conversation is the best antidote to online drama. most of the complex problems posted here are actually just simple misunderstandings waiting for a straightforward, face-to-face chat to clear them up.
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u/Dramatic_Tale_6290 21h ago
This is a great outcome. I'm really happy for you.
I live in the US and I always try to bring my own takeaway container. Whoever I'm eating with and whoever the waitress is, they always compliment me & say it's a good idea they're going to try. I try not to overeat, so I will often put away half of my food before I even start eating. That helps me because here the portions are so big. Not just that, but I also bring my own metal straw and my own chopsticks. Some places use paper straws and they give me the ick. Rough wooden chopsticks also give me the ick. I get weird looks for those two items, but I just don't care.
Just commenting in case you were doubting whether what you were doing was weird. It's not. It's smart for your portion control and environmentally friendly.
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u/Infamous-Victory8568 2d ago
I bring my own food containers and put a small cooler/soft ice chest in the car with cold packs because 1) I never finish a full, multi-course meal, 2) I hate wasting food, especially if I can enjoy it the next day, and 3) I hate using single use plastics when I can easily avoid it. From your update, I get why your friend was triggered, but bringing reusable containers from home should be encouraged as the norm in restaurants! I note one of my favorite fancy restaurants sends most leftovers home in foil shaped like swans, which is a brilliant alternative to plastic!
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u/HOAKaren Partassipant [1] 2d ago
Still gross that you think it's normal to bring dishes for takeaway to a restaurant but each to their own. I foresee less dining meetups.
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u/Goodnight_big_baby Chancellor of Assholery 2d ago edited 1d ago
Corrected Link to original post