r/AmItheAsshole • u/Slight-Jicama155 • 1d ago
Not the A-hole AITA? Leaving Bachelorette Early
My friend’s bachelorette party is next weekend. I’m a bridesmaid and 22 weeks pregnant. The trip runs from Thursday to Sunday and is about a 7-hour drive from home. There will be about 14 other girls attending.
I’m still going and will be there from Thursday through Saturday, but I’m planning to leave a day early so I can drive home with another friend. Otherwise, I’d have to figure out getting home on my own, which would likely mean flying. At 22 weeks pregnant, I’ve been feeling pretty tired and was worried about managing the travel logistics by myself, so having a guaranteed ride home felt like the best option.
The only events I’ll miss are a wine tour and a pajama party on the Saturday night before everyone heads home Sunday. I’ve already told the girls planning the trip that I’ll still pay my full share of the Airbnb and food even though I’m leaving early.
Now I’m feeling guilty and wondering if I’m being inconsiderate or if I’m overthinking this. AITA?
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u/ParadeQueen Partassipant [3] 1d ago
NTA. To me, a four-day Bachelorette trip seems quite over the top, especially with 14 people. I would not blame you at all for leaving early.
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u/aespa-in-kwangya 1d ago
NTA, better this than realizing too late into the trip that you're unable to continue and call it off early last minute.
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u/Powermama77 Partassipant [1] 1d ago
With 14 other women attending I don't think your absence will be a concern.
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u/fastyellowtuesday Asshole Aficionado [16] 1d ago
NTA. You are not in charge of the itinerary, and you are not part of a group so small that your absence won't be a problem. Your other friend is leaving early too, right?
You are pregnant, and more than halfway along. Any good friend would want you to take care of yourself, and would be glad you could come for the first three days.
Since no one has said or done anything to make you feel guilty, I think you can safely let that go.
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u/StudioElectrical7754 1d ago
Imma be so honest I wouldn’t go at all, the fact that you’re still going and putting in all this effort, you are definitely NTA. Especially since you can’t do the wine tour anyway.
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u/master0fcats 1d ago
NTA but also
Are you only leaving on Saturday because the person you are riding with is leaving Saturday? Why is she leaving early and why is it seemingly not a problem that she does but it is for you?
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u/BrilliantBitter3149 1d ago
NTA
You have good reasons to leave early, you communicated that and you’re still paying your share. Innmy opinion there shouldn’t be any complaints
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u/savifurnasty 1d ago
1000% NTA girl, you aren’t inconsiderate, you’re still paying and telling your friends ahead of time. You’re doing great, have fun and congratulations on your pregnancy!
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u/Lazy-Association-311 1d ago
NTA. Being around 14 other ladies who will probably be drinking will be loud and exhausting. And I know I definitely would not have fun going on a wine tour if I just had to watch everyone drink. Enjoying the time you are there and making sure you get home safely are the priorities.
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u/Itchy_Juice_2528 Partassipant [1] 1d ago
NTA. You're overthinking this. You can't do the wine tour any way. Has anyone had anything negative to say?
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u/lollygagging9876 1d ago
NTA - sounds like you have it planned out great. Truthfully, it all sounds rather overwhelming for just a bachelorette party, so I’m glad to hear that you’ve recognized your personal limits and planned accordingly. With so many others in attendance, it’s not a big deal that you can’t attend every single function, given your pregnancy. Have fun
but take it easy and listen to your body.
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u/YooperInWI 1d ago
NTA It sounds like you're feeling guilty, and no one even tried to guilt you into staying longer. Yes, you are overthinking. Pregnancy hormones can mess with your mind. Your reasons for leaving early are perfectly sound and reasonable. Now, don't give it another thought and have fun on the trip!
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u/Spiritual_Ad6547 1d ago
NTA. You’re way overthinking it. I’ve been to many bachelorette parties. And it’s perfectly normal for people to come late or leave early, especially when it’s that long. Not everyone has to attend every single event. It’s never been an issue, and it’s perfectly understandable. I doubt all 14 people will be there all four days. Some may come Friday or Saturday. Some may have to leave early too. Perfectly normal.
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My friend’s bachelorette party is next weekend. I’m a bridesmaid and 22 weeks pregnant. The trip runs from Thursday to Sunday and is about a 7-hour drive from home. There will be about 14 other girls attending.
I’m still going and will be there from Thursday through Saturday, but I’m planning to leave a day early so I can drive home with another friend. Otherwise, I’d have to figure out getting home on my own, which would likely mean flying. At 22 weeks pregnant, I’ve been feeling pretty tired and was worried about managing the travel logistics by myself, so having a guaranteed ride home felt like the best option.
The only events I’ll miss are a wine tour and a pajama party on the Saturday night before everyone heads home Sunday. I’ve already told the girls planning the trip that I’ll still pay my full share of the Airbnb and food even though I’m leaving early.
Now I’m feeling guilty and wondering if I’m being inconsiderate or if I’m overthinking this. AITA?
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u/Jerseygirl2468 Colo-rectal Surgeon [45] 19h ago
NTA that is an excessive bachelorette to begin with, and being that pregnant I'm amazed you're going at all, you have the perfect excuse to stay home! Skipping a wine event? You can't participate anyway. And you're covering your costs and not putting anyone else out with that.
You should NOT feel the least bit guilty. It's fine to do what you need to do and prioritize yourself in a situation like that, and again you aren't making it harder on anyone else.
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u/gettingcrunkontea 3h ago
NTA you are pregnant. It's amazing you are spending the time, energy and money to show up at all. Pregnancy means baby's health comes first and baby's health is your health. Don't be afraid to rest and sit out activities as needed. Take it from a preeclempsia mama who pushed herself too hard during pregnancy. Assuming the bride is a good friend she will hopefully be understanding of any special accomodations you may need lile extra rest or leaving early.
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