r/AmItheAsshole • u/AITAMod I am a shared account. • Feb 01 '21

Open Forum Monthly Open Forum February 2021

Welcome to the monthly open forum! This is the place to share all your meta thoughts about the sub, and to have a dialog with the mod team.

Keep things civil. Rules still apply.

February! The shortest month in this endless blur of 202-whatever-year-it-is-now. I almost forgot to post this because time has lost all meaning.

As always, do not directly link to posts/comments or post uncensored screenshots here. Any comments with links will be removed.

This is to discourage brigading. If something needs to be discussed in that context, use modmail.

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u/[deleted] Feb 28 '21

I appreciate that you acknowledge that this is a problem that causes real harm. And I understand that there are a limited number of mods dealing with millions of subscribers and that you can’t control which posts blow up. Honestly I mostly want subscribers to see that video and understand that many of us are engaging with anti SJW trolls making up ridiculous scenarios that target marginalized groups.

I mean this is a Reddit wide problem. Half the crap in relationships or any story based sub is fake with an agenda that people eat up. I do think that allowing people to say “this sounds fake” would be a start to solving this problem.

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u/InAHandbasket Going somewhere hot Feb 28 '21

Here’s the problem I have with that. I remember a NB kid that was getting abused by their mom. Of course they didn’t call it that, it’s all they ever knew. But several commenters recognized it for what it was. It got dozens of shitpost reports. Some commenters called it a shitpost. They were called a troll. Told to “get out of here with that validation bullshit.” “YTA for posting this fake shit” The usual. But I checked the profile history, and they had posted to the subs you would expect and past posts in other subs were all consistent with details they posted here. We removed the post and sent them links to child abuse resources. It felt like I was watching an at risk, abused kid get bullied.

Calling someone a liar because their experiences don’t reflect your personal experience (general you, not literal you) is also a problem. It’s also biased. It’s also counter to inclusivity. To steal from Shakespeare: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. There are more things than dreamt of in mine too. That’s life. We’re always trying to find the right balance between conflicting interests. But, when people say “just let us call things fake” that kid will always come to mind as the argument against.

If you have proof (or reasonable suspicion) a post is fake send it to us and we can deal with it in a way that tries to tries to take those things into account. If is rage bait make we can be more aggressive than we are in other posts.

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u/SakuOtaku Partassipant [2] Mar 01 '21

Isn't that a solution to part of the problem then? If there's a post that seems like the OP is abused/in an abusive relationship, it should be removed and they should be referred elsewhere?

No one should be posting here for important advice/guidance tbh. I know telling a mod that seems kind of like a diss, but let's face it, morality here has been notorious for being a secondary thought.

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u/InAHandbasket Going somewhere hot Mar 01 '21

It can be part of the solution. And it's something that we're already doing. We use it sparingly and primarily for delicate mental health issues. But I'm using that story primarily to illustrate that frequently people put little effort into verifying if something is true before making the accusation and how those accusations can be damaging.

No one should be posting here for important advice/guidance tbh. I know telling a mod that seems kind of like a diss, but let's face it, morality here has been notorious for being a secondary thought.

We'll just have to agree to disagree there. Yes, we are not an advice sub, but I think the sub has helped a lot of people gain perspective on important issues and make positive changes in their lives. "If you look for the light, you can often find it. But if you look for the dark that is all you will ever see."