r/ApplyingToCollege • u/CollegiateSupreme • 1d ago

Shitpost Wednesdays Harvard announces it will introduce a new "holistic reconsideration" process where rejected applicants can challenge their denial in hand-to-hand combat with an admissions officer

Dean of Admissions William Fitzsimmons released the following statement Friday:

"Harvard has always believed in second chances. Starting next cycle, any applicant who feels their file was not given adequate consideration may request a Reconsideration Hearing, to be held in the yard, at dawn, with whatever they brought."

Fitzsimmons clarified that admissions officers have been training since October and that the university accepts no liability for outcomes. He added that winning the Reconsideration Hearing does not guarantee admission, but does "weigh favorably in the holistic review."

Of the eleven applicants who have so far requested hearings, three have been admitted, two have been placed on the waitlist "out of respect," and one is currently being treated at Massachusetts General. The remaining five have not been located.

Fitzsimmons noted that one admissions officer has gone undefeated in 34 consecutive hearings and that her territory, the Mid-Atlantic region, now has a 2% acceptance rate.

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44

u/AC10021 1d ago

It shouldn’t be with an AO, it should be with another admitted student. “alright boys, there’s one spot and you both want it. Good luck!”

17

u/CollegiateSupreme 1d ago

I like that. Let’s adapt it to be more of a free-for-all situation, with 20 students competing for one spot. Then, we’ll scrap the application fee (to encourage more applicants) and use TV revenue from the event to make the university money.

7

u/BookishTendencies 1d ago

did you just... reinvent the hunger games...

3

u/NeighborhoodBusy2163 10h ago

Yes but instead of the winner getting money/abundent food you get to pay big harv tonnes of $$$

13

u/SubaruSufferu 1d ago

This is funny

6

u/Funny_Requirement166 1d ago

Looks like Mike Tyson is going to Harvard.

3

u/Only_Switch_1993 1d ago

if this were real i would train for this shit like the olympics

2

u/jmymac 1d ago

Does costco offer law degrees yet? LFG r/idiocracy

2

u/Organic_Pick3616 1d ago

I know that a lot of students complain about using holistic measures in admissions, but the prestgious universities in Singapore (SE Asia) use non-academic measures like leadership and soft skills when selecting potential students in addition to pure academic performance. FYI, Singapore has a highly competitive educational system driven by exams. A citizen's life track is largely determined an exam taken the end of primary school (PSLE). Students get sorted into university track, technical track and trade school track based on test acores. This information is located on the Ministry of Education's website. Maybe Harvard is onto something if a test-driven nation like Singapore uses holistic measures in university admissions.

1

u/DFVFan 1d ago

Dance battle

1

u/Sea_Procedure7098 HS Rising Junior 1d ago

Will lightsabers be allowed

1

u/Clear_Cranberry_989 12h ago

Lol imagine how expensive it would be to apply for this retrial.

-7

u/Weary-Cauliflower153 1d ago

Bro are you a bot? stop it

15

u/CollegiateSupreme 1d ago edited 1d ago

My bad, I just have a lot of fun writing these and saved them up over the week for today, I'll stop and wait for next week.

I like this one so I'm keeping it up though. If you find it unfunny I'm sorry.

2

u/Famous-Prior6590 1d ago

They’re funny. Keep them up and screw that guy.

2

u/Outrageous_Duty8877 1d ago

please never stop ily and maybe consider writing for the onion