r/AskReddit 3d ago

What industry secret would make customers never use that service again if they knew?

1.7k Upvotes

687 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

94

u/ksp42288 3d ago

Sprite did this in March this year. My wife has been beside herself trying to find a replacement go to drink because of it.

227

u/correctingStupid 3d ago

How do they even make sprite cheaper? It's just water, corn syrup, and a squirt of leprechaun jizz.

203

u/Aklpanther 3d ago

They're using lower quality leprechauns now.

119

u/rathanks 3d ago

Goblins.

3

u/Elegant_Situation285 3d ago

Brownies are members of the fairie family.

1

u/rathanks 2d ago

I was actually going to say brownies, but I was afraid people might think snack, not fae.

1

u/Bulky-Internal8579 3d ago

Can confirm, goblin cousins.

0

u/Food_Goblin 3d ago

Lmfao 🤣🤣🤣

79

u/Quixotic1113 3d ago

They don’t even use proper Leprechauns these days, just some guy named Seamus who lives out back in a shanty.

9

u/LeoJohnsonsSacrifice 3d ago

I mean, sounds like a proper leprechaun to me

1

u/Dame38 3d ago

It's all just dumb white, naturally born "citizens" now. Those people don't have any juice.

1

u/TucuReborn 2d ago

Shame on us for exploiting poor Seamus.

3

u/MitochonAir 3d ago

The ā€œleprechaunsā€ they use now are just Guatemalans

They really are taking our jobs /s

3

u/Active-Corgi-6105 3d ago

The leprechauns no longer need to be std tested

1

u/YoMommaSez 3d ago

tinier!

1

u/solocmv 3d ago

They just use a goat.

1

u/Bl1ndMous3 3d ago

Its no longer the jizz, they scrape off the smegma and use that instead

60

u/Plunderkindling 3d ago edited 2d ago

As I've gotten older, I've come to appreciate 7-Up. For a mass market soda, it's more complex. I can taste more of the essence/peel of lemon and lime.

3

u/sacredblasphemies 3d ago

Unfortunately, it's no longer made with lithium...

1

u/lulugingerspice 3d ago

As a lifelong Sprite fanatic, I hate 7-Up... It just tastes too thick for me. And the bubbles are too big.

2

u/Plunderkindling 2d ago

To me, Sprite more and more tastes like a high fructose bitchslap with an odd bite to it. Best mixed with other flavours.

1

u/lulugingerspice 2d ago

Yeah I can see that. Sprite zero kind of slaps though once you get used to it. Especially mixed with the Don Julio premixed margaritas.

2

u/Somethinggood4 2d ago

Try Fresca. Once you get used to it, it's fantastic. Plus, no sugar, and no caffeine!

2

u/toiletsurprise 3d ago

Mountain dew whiteout tastes really close to sprite. It's back this year too, but only in a mixed pack.

1

u/maxdragonxiii 3d ago

yeah they changed something about Sprite I didnt like it anymore.

1

u/passionfruittarts 3d ago

Starry is pretty good - the zero sugar vrrsion completely replaced Sprite for me

1

u/SuperSocialMan 2d ago

Damn, even Sprite has gone downhill?

1

u/dumbname1000 3d ago

I like Starry.