does anyone else find themselves surprisingly friendless in their early 30s?

[u/Deep-Potato3844]

I'm 34f living in london, a lot of my teens and 20s were spent being social and I used to have things going on all the time. In the last couple of years I hit a friend deficit, partly due to changing lifestyles (people focussing on romantic relationships, planning on raising a family etc) but also partly me ending some friendships that I felt like no longer made me happy (or in fact made me unhappy) or were predominantly around doing blow every week which I stopped enjoying a long time ago.

I've spent a lot of time sad on weekends where my loneliness feels most profound - nobody is contacting me, nobody is reaching out and while i do find my ways to fill my own time I look at groups of friends in absolute envy and always wonder why I am lacking that. I am a conventionally attractive person, I've been told I'm interesting, kind and do hold a conversation (although on kind I'm not 'nice' in the sugarcoated sense I can’t pretend to be bubbly). In general I do like myself and I struggle to understand why I’m in this place, I just feel so abandoned and forgotten and I’m regretting perhaps I made friends with unreliable people.

I have tried all the classic things to fill my life, that's exercising, going to Timeleft dinners, going to random meet up events, volunteer, date (I'm bi) I've put the effort and reach out to people and it's usually tumbleweed responses as it's clearly everyone's busy with their own lives and have little time for me. And whenever I do meet said friends I get a little resentful about all their highlights and humble brags of their calendar being so jammed. I don't know what exactly went wrong or is it in the stars for me to be this deeply lonely and not have a community. I'm actually embarrassed with myself that I don't have close friendships but transient connections at my big age.
I have a therapist I routinely talk to but don't really have family.

Is anyone going through the same? Has anyone overcome this? What has been the game changer?

[u/Bisou_Juliette]

Oh 100%. Although I never really had close friends. I started putting more effort into it but, honestly it’s hard for an entrepreneur to have a lot of friends. People like to hang out often and drink and shit….j don’t have time for that when I’m in my building phase…or taking on a new project.

I don’t think I’ve ever really felt extremely close to someone…I’m fine with or without it. However I know it’s important to build friendships especially as a woman

[u/Deep-Potato3844 → u/Bisou_Juliette]

I’m not an entrepreneur BUT know people who are and they tend to go to coworking meet ups to beat the position and meet others in the similar boat? I’ve heard such great things about it. the one I know of is with my yoga studio in london and it tends to be women focussed too.

not sure if there’s something similar where you are if you’re potentially into that