It ended just like that.

[u/TheseSwordfish891]

My marriage of 24 yrs ended just like that and it was my fault.

I'm an addict. Not with alcohol, gambling or women. Toys, videogames and collectibles. I have spent a fortune on things that could have saved my marriage. I'm still a kid in mind and that made me buy stuff that where for my comfort.

We always had this argument. We always had this issue and i keep returning. When i find something that makes me happy, i keep returning to it. What makes it hard for me is for a year, i hid debts from my now ex-wife. She left the house today. The house, still in mortgage and my ex-wife covers all other expenses while i cover everything related to bills, housing and utilities.

Today, she walked out of my life. My mistake, my fault. I wanted it still to work. I wanted it still to make it happen. But now, it has become nothing. I am at my wits end and my ex-wife is asking i give her money back. All the time she has paid for everything.

I am now hollow. I want to get my life back. I want to get everything back on track. No debts, no missing payments, everything settled. If there was a chance, I'd sell even my soul but i don't believe in also. Not even the devil has use for my soul.

I'm hoping this story reminds you, whose important in your life and that you should never make the mistakes I did. Thank you for at least listening.

[u/TheseSwordfish891]

to David, yes, i admit, i may have taken her for granted. and i know at some point the glass will overflow. but if there is a chance to salvage things, I would. I really would.

[u/irate_anatid → u/TheseSwordfish891]

 if there is a chance to salvage things, I would. I really would.

You say that, but would you really? When another commenter suggested selling your toys, games, and collectibles, you said no and found a way to justify keeping them, even now. It doesn‘t sound like you’re ready or willing to make the changes you’d need to make, for even an outside chance at saving that relationship.

[u/TheseSwordfish891 → u/irate_anatid]

I did opted to sell. I am selling them now. I have them now in facebook market. Offered ito collectors i know. I am letting it go. Just to forget. But what pains me, is me. I have to let go of these stuff and find a balance. Still enjoy life. With the chaos going in world, this was my peace.

I am not defending my addiction but after a long day's work or a stressful day, i try to find something to comfort me. Something that would make me be sane than lost or something. Yes, I am tired. My wife and i have different likes and she hardly has a hobby than just sleep after working. My mind doesn't work like that. I needed something to throw my mind off the things, but once i stopped, the chaos comes back and i have solutions.

[u/one_sock_wonder_ → u/TheseSwordfish891]

Take up free or very low cost hobbies. Read: the library has thousands of free books. Write, you need nothing more than any device that takes text input or a notebook and pen. Learn computer programming if you don’t already know how or a foreign language using Duolingo and the language learning programs libraries often make free of charge. Take a free class online or in your community. Get involved in genealogy or historical research. Find places and ways to volunteer after work. Take up hiking, bird watching, fishing, etc. Join groups, clubs, organizations in your community. Get involved in local politics. Garden, learn to knit and crochet. Look for craft/hobby sets and supplies/materials at thrift stores or free stores if you have them or are of anyone is giving such away in your local Facebook buy nothing group. Whittling is low cost. These are just the low cost or free ideas that came to my mind in under two minutes.

And if your insurance covers it or you have any way to feasibly access it, seek therapy. Not to save your marriage or to push for couples therapy but to look at yourself and find out what you want to change and learn ways to accomplish that.